See Beyond

For ND kids, the end of the year is hhaaaarrrdddd.

(It's just as hard for teachers & parents!! 😱)

Our children and students are tired, they've been holding it together and are usually reaching the end of their rope.

They're also well aware that the school year about to end and they're going to be in a new class with new kids and a new teacher, in a new room. 🤯

It's a lot.

One thing we can do to better support them is to start putting transition plans in place now.

These don't have to be formal, written out plans - but they can be!

As a teacher, I would start taking kids with me to the next year's classroom area of the school and getting them used to where it is, what the classes look like, where the bag racks are, the closest toilets and all that jazz.

Term 3 is a bit early to start introducing kids to their new teachers, because we don't know who they will be!

In Term 4, I try to increase the visits and have the students run "errands" to drop things off with the new teachers, and have a lot of face-to-face time with their new inclusion teacher (if that person is changing).

As SOON as I know who the class teacher will be, I typically make a "social story" that shows pics of the new class, the outside of the class, the new teacher and provide them with a bit of personal info about the teacher. Book Creator on the iPad is a GREAT app for this.

I keep the text minimal, usually one sentence per page.

The idea is to provide as much familiarity as possible.

I then email the booklet home, as a PDF, that can be revisited during the school holidays or anytime anxiety creeps up about what to expect for the following year.

If you're a parent, now is a great time to set up a meeting with your child's class teacher and inclusion teacher/case manager to get the ball rolling on what this will look like.

It's great for secondary students, as well as primary, given ALLLLLL the different teachers they have. Putting a name with a face is a big deal.

If you're a teacher, now is a good time to start creating a "template" of sorts in Book Creator so you can come back and fill in the details later.

Yep!

Sending kids off on their own when they are dysregulated - to their room or to a separate space in school is NOT always the answer.

Some kids do prefer to be on their own, and need some time to regulate and can re-engage.

Some kids need another person there to co-regulate with.

As parents & educators, we need to know our kids' specific needs and meet them whenever possible!

In the research we refer to is as "co-regulation", but as a parent in real life it feels much more complicated than the term.

Our children are born with underdeveloped brains and nervous systems, so they rely on our minds and bodies to help them regulate and learn.

The relationship we build with our children is a foundational factor in how their brain functions and grows.

One of the most important gifts we can give to our children is an ability to regulate our own bodies, and then in turn to give them the calm (ish), confident (ish), caring parents they need to feel secure.

For a science backed practical guide on this process, comment SECURE below and I will DM you a link to my book Raising Securely Attached Kids: Connected Parenting for Confidence, Empathy, and Resilience!

All preorders (before on sale date Sept 3rd) earn two free goodies: a live Q and A ask me anything on Sept 16th, and a 50% discount off my 6 week Secure Parenting Virtual program out soon! head to www.attachmentnerd.com/preorder to collect your goodies once you have preordered the book!

Paperback, e-book and audible versions available!

For those after more info on Specific Learning Disabilties - dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, dyscalculia - I've got NEW resources for you!

These are designed to help parents advocate for their kids at school AND for teachers to utilise when considering adjustments at school.

The lists are NOT exhaustive and, as we know, adjustments should ALWAYS be individualised.

Nothing is ever a one-size-fits-all model.

These are ideas to help if you're stumped or to help get the ball rolling.

I've split them into the levels of supports that schools use for kids - Quality Differentiation, Supplemental, Substantial and Extensive.

Given the nature of extensive adjustments, the suggestions are the SAME across all disability areas. If you need more specific help with this area, I'm happy to answer any and all questions you might have.

Typically for kids who receive "extensive" supports, having a specific learning disability is one of many complex needs they have, with other needs taking precedent.

I've made these all $2 to ensure they're super affordable, and you can get the bundle of $6, so you get one FREE!

You might also notice some low cost downloads that you can get, at the bottom of the page. Purchases of these allow me to extend my supports to families in financial need. There is no obligation to EVER purchase them, but if you would like to Pay It Forward, this is always an option!

If your child is a runner or becomes physically aggressive at school, a Restrictive Practices plan is a MUST.

Not to say the school MUST restrain/contain/seclude your child.

But, since the practices have to be planned ahead of time to avoid Human Rights violations, making a plan is a must!

It never has to be used.

But, having the plans in place protect children's rights and the safety of those in the school setting.

Please reach out if you have questions or concerns around this. I've written a number of plans and helped schools develop them for children.

If you're an educator and want support around this, let me know. I'm happy to liaise with you or your school's admin team.

Popping Your Top or Flipping Your Lid

I LOVE this analogy with kids.

We use it at home, and I've used it in school.

The concept is BIG for all social emotional learning and understanding of self.

There are a few tips in the video for schools & parents regarding being "popped."

And, I've gotta correct a mistake I made - I mentioned the time to come down from escalation is = to the time someone has spent escalated. THAT IS INCORRECT! What I was trying to say was: The time spent in the "lull" (below baseline) needs to be equivalent to the time it has taken to come down from peak escalation.

A common mistake is trying to re-engage kids (and adults) too soon!

Pop Your Top Dr Dan Siegel came up a GREAT way to explain what is happening in our brain's when we go into a fight/flight response. This applies to our kids at school. For some kids, they experience this cycle EVE

This is one of the MAIN areas where I see situations go awry between schools & parents.

Schools are not communicating well with parents.

Communication does not have to occur EVERY day.

But, it should occur on a regular enough basis that parents know what is happening with their kids, and for their kids at school.

So many I've spoken with (even when I was still teaching) had no idea what adjustments were in place for their kids at school.

They might know about a reading group, or how a teacher aide took them out to work on an assessment task once.

But, they were in the dark about the daily, in-class adjustments there were constantly occurring.

PEOPLE, THIS IS A LEGAL REQUIREMENT.

The Disability Standards for Education Act says that parents/caregivers (even the students) are to be consulted regarding adjustments that are put in place.

This is not a 10 minute, parent teacher interview topic.

This is a separate, 30-60 minute meeting where ALL adjustments need to be discussed.

Not only should they be discussed, they should be recorded as evidence of the adjustments being made.

If you ever have to go to court & prove what you are doing, you are going to need to have evidence.

Courts do not take people on their word, they have to provide evidence.

And, it's best practice to do so!

Should any teachers suddenly be unable to return to work, the next teacher should be able to pick up right where they left off.

If you're a parent who hasn't been consulted, PLEASE request a meeting to go through the adjustments in place, AND get a copy of them in writing.

If you're a teacher, PLEASE consult with parents around adjustments and give them written copies.

It's probably a poor business practice for me to say this because a large part of my work is spent liaising with schools around adjustments & consultation.

I'd rather kids have documented adjustments that parents have been consulted on, than be "busy" working on this.

Part Time Plans can be used in a variety of situations, they aren't JUST for behaviour challenges or medical issues.

One thing I forgot to add to the slides, is that they can look totally different, based on your child's needs.

They might look like your child attending EVERY day, but getting picked up at 1pm.

OR

Your child attending full days, 3 times a week.

OR

Your child attending from 12pm - 2pm.

The possibilities are endless and are only dependent on your child's needs and what you/the school can agree on.

Parents & Educators alike - if you need info or resources that you do NOT see on my website, please let me know!

I've a bunch in development - infographics, PDFs, mind maps. And others that are finished but not up on my website yet.

General topics:
Specific Learning Disabilities (dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, dyspraxia)
The Neuroscience of Behaviour
Fluctuating Capacity
Polyvagal Theory (which ties in with behavioural neuroscience)

I've also got a bank of resources that I refer to, myself, that I'm happy to share from other sources.

There are quite a few educators who download documents from my site - I know you're time poor, so please let me know how I can help you!

What would you like more resources for?

I've read through the Disability Standards for Education Act (a bajillion times) so you don't have to!!

Whether a child is attending public, private, independent school ANYWHERE in Australia, that child is entitled to "reasonable adjustments to allow them to access the curriculum on the same basis as their peers."

This means adjustments to the following are fair game:
👕 Uniforms
🏫 Attendance policies
🖍 Changes to curriculum & assessment
🤝 Social-emotional & behaviour supports
🛝 Play time
🔨 Physical changes to the school campus to make it more accessible

There is not a comprehensive list of reasonable adjustments, but they must:
🌟 Not cause undue financial burden
🌟 Not fundamentally change school programming
🌟 Not create a health/safety risk to others
🌟 Not be impractical

What might be considered UN-reasonable:
👨🏽‍💼 A full time teacher aide, 1:1
🤿 Putting in a pool for on-site aquatic therapy
📝 Creating an ENTIRELY different curriculum for one student

The items with stars can be utilised as a "checklist" of sorts to determine if an adjustment is reasonable.

Adjustments do NOT have to be reasonable in regard to what other students are allowed to do/have/receive in the classroom or school setting.

This is not about ensuring all students get equal treatment, it's about ensuring that children with disabilities have tools and supports to enable their success.

As a follow up to my post yesterday about school refusal/school can't, I wanted to go a bit further in depth.

A number of the families I work with involve situations of school can't.

A large part of my role is finding solutions and bridging the child's capacity and the school's proposed plans.

What I'm seeing is schools RUSHING to get kids back, and engaged in learning.

Or, leaving families flapping in the breeze and only engaging when outside providers (myself, OT, psych, etc) engage the school in regard to coming up with a plan.

There are a few things schools can do to help kids successfully return:

🌸 First and foremost, build staff capacity. If staff at school are unaware of the impact of trauma; the ramifications of Pathological Demand Avoidance; Maslow's Hierarchy of Need; "bottom up" processing; and the neuroscience of behaviour, we are setting kids up to fail.

I'll be the first to raise my hand and say that when I was teaching, I was NOT on top of all of these. I knew bits and pieces of some of them, but that is literally not enough. The professional training we have all participated in based on behaviourist principles does NOT prepare us to support kids who have "school can't."

🖍 Schools also HAVE to take student preference into consideration, particularly for kids who have intense dysregulation. Their nervous systems are already verging on fight/flight/freeze. If we are not offering them options that feel safe and doable, they will not be able to engage. It's like asking a child in a wheelchair to participate in the long jump for Sports Carnival. They might want to, but they CAN'T!

☘️ Another thing schools can do is to increase flexibility. Supporting kids to return in small chunks for social groups/clubs; or to "stop by" an HQ/Reset Room and play games for an hour; to visit without wearing their uniform are all 100% REASONABLE ADJUSTMENTS. They don't require additional personnel, funding or put an undue burden on the school. If it gets kids in the door who have been disengaged, why not?

🌟 Parents often engage me to help them engage with the school because the school is NOT working with them proactively. As a long time educator, this one hurts my soul. Schools and teachers are meant to collaborative with families. There should NOT be an us vs. them mentality. If we are operating on the premise of what is best for kids rather than "what we think should be happening because we are educators and we know best", HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?

If you are an educator and want more information or resources, please reach out. I have heaps that aren't published on my website. I'm available to work with you directly, or with your school to help increase staff capacity through professional development sessions.

Yes!
And, let's look at ways to support kids to be able to attend.

Things like:
Building relational safety
Offering flexible part-time attendance plans
Understanding the neuroscience of behaviour
Becoming familiar with the stages of Polyvagal Theory

If we want kids to be able to successfully attend, we HAVE to meet them where they are, not DEMAND them to adapt.

Let’s stop calling it
"school refusal”
and replace it with
“needs related non-attendance”.

- Diane Gould, Founder & Author of Navigating PDA in America

There are SO many random scenarios that come up in school settings (scroll back a few post for the "Haunted Bathroom" incident for reference 🤣).

They range from hilarious to worrisome to despicable.

I would class the despicable ones as situations where the school/school officials:

🖍 Ignore communication attempts from parents
🖍 Do not upload external provider resources to student's case management profiles
🖍 Repeatedly ignore requests for stakeholder meetings, stating they are unnecessary
🖍 Ignore information from outside providers that they deem as "irrelevant" (but that directly impacts the child)
🖍 Will not "escalate" the case management process to 'complex" in the state or Cath Ed system to receive Regional support
🖍 Send compulsory attendance letters to families without first making contact & making an attendance plan when school "can't" is an issue

The scenario I'm describing is ONE of about ten that I've been working with over the past year.

Aside from fear of kidnapping (which is a thing for MULTIPLE families I've worked with), kids are also worried:
🌸 Everyone at school hates them
🌸 School staff are mad at them for missing so much school
🌸 They won't get help from their teacher because "they've missed too much"
🌸 Their friends won't like them anymore

Some of their fears are based on actual commentary from ADULTS at the school.

Rather than taking a child's attendance personally, avoiding contact with parents, dismissing outside-the-box options and not following Departmental policy, there are others ways forward.

I would do things like: meet with stakeholders, consider external provider reports, read Lori Desautels book "Connections over Compliance", dig into the neuro-science of behaviour, collaborate with families, provide REASONABLE ADJUSTMENTS.

As educators, we can't be upset that children aren't able to attend school when we make it impossible for them to attend.

We want kids to be flexible but lack the flexibility ourselves. 🫠

As educators, we can't forget our old Psych 101 friend, Maslow.

His model is nearly 90 years old and still stands up to the human experience.

Our job, as educators, is to impact the human experience for the young people who we engage with on a daily basis.

The absolute biggest factor I see impacting kids at school is SAFETY. This is in my experience in schools, but also liaising with parents/schools. The school setting may be safe in that it's not getting bombed, but that doesn't mean it feels safe for kids. They have to have FELT safety in their bodies, not just rely on the cognitive notion of safety. Not having felt safety will impact their learning, their behaviour and every facet of their day.

Rather than looking at academic adjustments, and visual aides, let's focus FIRST on felt safety.

We can build connections with kids, based on their interests.

This might be learning about things we don't know about, to be able to engage them in conversation.

We might have to go outside OUR comfort zone to help them feel safe.

But, once we have a strong rapport with a student, and they view us as safe, the need for other supports often decreases.

They don't need as many breaks.

They are able to ask for help.

They can engage in more learning tasks.

They don't have to result to physical aggression.

Our relationships can provide the safety to completely change a child's experience at school.

This is something I really struggle with when it comes to the curriculum at school.

As a teacher, my LEAST favourite part of school is the curriculum, as crazy as that sounds.

There are so many other opportunities for learning and connection that I don't worry a lot about WHAT kids are learning.

This is particularly true when it comes to random facts, specific methods of solving problems or info that is NOT used in the real world.

It's also part of why I LOVE homeschooling!

All of a sudden, with this simple mindset shift, you see the things that do MATTER and all of the many things that DON’T!

Little did I know that my day would be so eventful.

Just as I was about to ask a small group of kids huddled outside the toilets to move so that I could make my way onto the verandah during my school visit, they alerted me to a MYSTERY.

All of them. All at once. Alerted me to the GHOST.

The girls' toilet was haunted.

They KNEW it was haunted because when someone was in there, they could hear voices & knocking on the wall from the boys' toilet next door.

But, NO ONE was in the boys' toilet.

The only obvious answer was a haunting.

When I suggested they let their teacher on duty know about the haunting, they were ALL quick to inform me that she wouldn't believe them.

Somehow, they thought I would believe them, as a total stranger. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I wasn't able to solve the mystery while I was there because I actually needed to do a classroom observation and meet with school staff.

This is a case that will have to remain unsolved.

This is why taking a break from activities, therapies and school can be so beneficial!

I’m working on a resource that looks at coregulation.
Ongoing coregulation is really just meeting our kids where they’re at and adjusting our support accordingly.

I hope it will be useful. I hope I can finish it in a few days.

In the meantime, my guy James has listed a new resource bundle on TPT. It’s called the Starter Pack, and contains 15 of our most loved resource sets including:

⭐️ Telling your child they’re Autistic
⭐️ Telling your child they have ADHD
⭐️ When someone in your house is Autistic
⭐️ All brains are different
⭐️ Spoon theory
⭐️ Double empathy problem
⭐️ Masking
⭐️ Mental battery
⭐️ Good learning
⭐️ Screentime for Autistic folk
⭐️ Autism is a dynamic disability
⭐️ Helping your kids develop a positive ND identity
⭐️ Creating safety for Autistic folk
⭐️ What does the world often misunderstand about Autistic people?
⭐️ Self advocacy cards for ND kids

If you’re new here and looking to grab a heap of printable resources, the starter pack is the way to go. Bundles are always cheaper.

I hope it’s useful.

Em 🌈

https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/NeuroWild-Starter-Pack-15-resources-11853960?st=41444c4a9fe8d68cda8c250c6871f1b8

We don't know what we don't know.

Sometimes WE don't know how to best meet our kids' needs, especially while they are at school.

Sometimes we are educators, and we're at a loss for what to do because we've exhausted our knowledge and skill set.

For any children in the Cath Ed system, or state school system, there are Regional supports available - a VARIETY.

Schools can identify students as "complex" through their case management system, or make referrals to the Regional level for:
💪🏼 OT/Physio
👨🏽‍💼 Senior Guidance Officer support
🧑🏻‍💼 Principal Advisor support: Autism, Inclusion, Restrictive Practices, Wellbeing & Engagement....and more

Just to name a few.

If you're a teacher (inclusion or classroom) who is struggling, have you reached out to your Regional level supports that are available? They are there to help YOU better support your students.

If you're a parent, ask about this at your next meeting if you feel like your child's school or teachers are struggling.

All schools in Australia, public/private/independent and in any state or territory are required to provide supports for students across six different domains.

As educators and parents, we need to be aware of these areas to ensure that our students and children are receiving the best supports possible.

Academic supports are the most common sense. It's school after all! Academic supports aren't only for children who are achieving below a 'C' level. They're for any child who needs additional support to access the curriculum. A support could be: breaking information into smaller chunks.

Behaviour supports tend to be the most discussed, and get the most attention. Classrooms and schools need to be safe, and some children require additional behavioural supports to maintain everyone's safety. These may be extensive, and documented in an Individual Behaviour Support Plan; or a few adjustments included in a Personal Learning Plan.

Communication supports do NOT require intervention by the school speechie or a Deaf/Hard of Hearing Specialist. Support communication could be something as simple as providing a child with additional processing time when asking them to respond.

Learning environment supports tend to range from the most basic supports possible to the most expensive. Reducing the number of fluorescent bulbs could be a support OR making a classroom/wheelchair accessible may be necessary.

Personal health & safety covers health concerns like anaphylaxis, diabetes and PEG feeding, but also ensures physical safety due to mental health concerns or absconding from school.

Social emotional supports address the inherent social needs that we have as people, and seek to help students overcome anxieties, barriers to engaging with peers, as well as conflict.

The supports should always be personalised, and based on demonstrated NEED rather than a diagnosis.

If you're keen to go more in-depth with School Supports: legislation, areas of support, types of plans available, funding models - be sure to check out my on-demand training "Navigating School Supports."

The training is ideal for teachers & parents.

https://seebeyondau.org/advocacy-support

When we're used to be in one state of being, it can be easy to miss the signposts about where our nervous system function is sitting.

The same can be true for our kids or anyone who tends to internalise.

These thought patterns may not be exactly what you're experiencing, but they speak to the underlying state of your nervous system.

For you, it might be more of a feeling/sense.

For years, I was sitting in fight/flight without even realising it.

We want to be able to fluidly move between states, as needed to maintain our safety - not get stuck!

I definitely was stuck.

Everything seemed imperative.

I needed EVERYTHING to happen yesterday. 'Now' was even too late.

I tried to get everything done that day, to be able to deal with the next day.

So I pushed and pushed and pushed.

Until I couldn't push anymore and ended up FROZEN.

I wasn't hanging out with Cristoff or Olaf, though.

My nervous system was stuck in freeze.

No matter how much I wanted to do things, I couldn't make myself do them.

If I did the dishes, there was no way I could vacuum or do laundry or make the bed.

I was able to manage my hygiene, get dressed and do ONE task around the house.

But, I didn't feel mentally depressed.

My physiology, my body, couldn't do what I wanted it to.

The only thing I do could was rest, give myself time, and find ways to support my body.

Everyone's needs are totally different, but I found a few supplements, some adaptogenic herbs, working with a chiro/acupuncturist and using the Safe & Sound Protocol to be helpful. (In fact, it was SO helpful, I ended up doing their practitioner training because it changed my life.)

We have to find what works for us & our kids. We don't have to stay stuck.

Behind the scenes, I've been working on some things for you!

I've been busy creating The Visionary Collective.

This is a membership experience for parents & educators whose vision aligns with that of See Beyond - 'see beyond' what IS happening to what COULD happen for our neurodivergent kids, especially at school.

I'm sharing all my resources here. Some I've never shared before from my years of teaching.

There are templates for teachers to utilise for support plans; there are videos for parents to help wrap their heads around the types of plans available at school; PDFs that you can download and share with your colleagues or child's teachers.

Also in the works: training modules for teachers around inclusion & teaching neurodiverse classes in neuro-affirming ways.

My vision with this is to bring everyone together where we can have open and honest conversations AWAY from the Meta-verse.

Specifically here in Australia, we're facing potential limitations on social media tied to digital IDs and "blue checks" on socials.

I'm not going to be participating in that, but still want to be able to share knowledge and resources with you.

There will be 2 tiers, initially, for membership.

The Freebie members will have access to info that I'm currently sharing on the Meta. And, all the FREE resources that I currently have on my website plus any that are to come. Except now, they're all in one place, catalogued and searchable.

If you'd like FULL access to everything, you'll want the Unlimited option. This will give you access to all the trainings, all the resources, all the templates (plus all the currently free stuff).

There are spaces for conversation and to share information/providers that you've found helpful on your journey as a parent/educator.

You'll be able to access The Visionary Collective via an app (so no need to scroll through socials to find what you're looking for) or via a desktop version.

I don't have sign ups open yet, but wanted to share what I've been working on and what will be coming in the SHORT term!

What would you like to see in a membership space, so I can look at including it for you?

Whether it's with our kids' providers, school options, playdate, party invites...

sometimes the best choice is NOT to participate in what is happening.

I see and talk to a lot of parents who are unhappy with the choices available, or their children may not have capacity to engage in services.

There are a million other factors at play that can make this true, too!

Rather than becoming distressed because our kids aren't able to engage with a therapist or the therapist is charging heaps that our plans cannot afford, it can be helpful to take a step back.

There's no reason to try to force engagement. If our kids aren't ready, we can peel back services and re-engage when they are ready. If that means NDIS plans lose funding, so be it. We can always apply for a Change of Circumstance when they are ready to re-engage.

If a therapist is charging more than our plan can support, or we disagree with their fee structure, WE can say "no, thanks." Just because we finally get an appointment with a service provider doesn't mean we have to stick with them if they aren't a best fit. Even if our support coordinators find that provider for us. It can be far more beneficial to find the right fit than to engage because we feel like we have to.

The same is true with schools. It might be time to look at other schooling options if our school is consistently not able to meet the needs of our kids. Distance education, special assistance schools, flexible learning centres, and homeschooling are all options (granted less so for younger kids!).

We might be better off opting out of social situations because we know our kids are at capacity and the spark is likely to ignite.

The beauty is: we get to decide what works for us, and for our kids and what we think is best.

Yes to all of this.

One thing I don't talk much about is being 2e, or twice exceptional.

Excellent info here!!