Rudi Landmann

Before I begin, please let me assure you that I’m OK. I’m in a sufficiently good place and have enough lovely, caring people around me that this stuff slides off. With that out of the way…

This is not a post about gender, or LGBTQIA+ issues, or even about inclusion per se. It’s a post about how when any of us choose to live as our authentic selves — whatever that looks like for each of us — we necessarily open ourselves up to the cruelty of people who don’t like or don’t approve of our choice.

On Mother’s Day, I shared about how much I still miss my Mum, who passed away many years ago. Soon afterwards, a stranger left a comment suggesting that my loss is the reason for my gender identity, and that I should “get therapy and stop throwing women under a bus because [my] mom died.”

There are two lessons here. One is about how we treat others, but the other is about how we treat ourselves.

The first — about how we treat others — should, I hope, be self-evident. Throughout the ages, it has been expressed in different ways, including the “golden rule” to treat others as we would like to be treated. I think this particular take has some shortcomings (another story for another time), but I think we can agree it’s a good starting point for how we all get along with each other.

It’s the second lesson that I think is more challenging. Because it calls us to be vulnerable.

Vulnerability is a trait we’ve started to publicly value as a society. At the same time, I can’t help but feel that the word is becoming a little diluted. We’re using it now to mean something like “uncomfortably honest”; that we’re open to revealing something about ourselves that we’d maybe rather not admit. And I agree — it’s great that we’re getting more comfortable with being uncomfortable and becoming more open to being more honest in this way.

The older, more literal, shade of meaning that I think we’re getting more distant from is that to be vulnerable is to open ourselves up to being attacked and hurt. An honest share with a friend in a safe space is one thing; holding ourselves out to be hurt by the careless or deliberate cruelty of random strangers is quite another.

And yet, to some degree, that vulnerability is a prerequisite of authentic living. I’m not advocating that we should go taking reckless risks with our physical or emotional safety at every opportunity. It’s not all-or-nothing. And yet, if we never take those chances — anywhere, anytime — it’s unlikely that we’re allowing ourselves to live the fullest expression of what it means to be authentically, unapologetically ourselves.

Today, let’s be kind to others; and let’s also be alert to the impulse to hide our own radiance because of who we think might not like to see it.

By a quirk of the calendar, in 2024, Easter Sunday (which changes date every year) falls on the same day as Transgender Day of Visibility (31 March every year). There’s an interesting resonance in this accidental overlap of holidays.

From very ancient times, eggs have been a significant symbol in springtime festivals in Europe and the Middle East. Eggs were seen as representations of fertility, renewal, and the coming of spring. Ancient cultures such as the Persians, Egyptians, Greeks, and Romans all had traditions involving eggs as symbols of rebirth and renewal during their celebrations of the Spring Equinox, which falls around this time of year in the northern hemisphere (20 March in 2024).

As Christianity spread and assimilated various pagan customs and traditions, the symbolism of eggs was absorbed into Easter celebrations. The early Christians adopted the egg as a symbol of the Resurrection, incorporating it into their own religious observances of renewal and new life.

The egg is used as a metaphor in the Transgender and Gender-Diverse (TGD) community too. There, the term “egg” is often used metaphorically to describe a person who has not yet come to terms with or fully acknowledged their gender identity.

When TGD people say that a crack appeared in their egg, or maybe that they egg cracked altogether, they are referring to a moment of realisation or self-awareness about their gender identity.

Whether the crack is big or small, it can be a significant and often liberating moment in a person's journey of self-discovery and affirmation.
My journey of understanding my gender involved many, many small cracks in my egg over a long period of time. Some of these experiences only made sense in retrospect.

Whether today you’re celebrating Easter, Transgender Day of Visibility, or like me, both, I hope you’re having a wonderful and joyous day!

The next time these two observances will share a day is in 2086, then in 2097. 🐣

[In the image, the egg on the left is decorated with the colours of the transgender flag. The egg on the right is decorated with the colours of the non-binary flag.]

So… I’ve been quiet here for a while. 2023 was a year of the most incredible highs for me, and I want to extend my mosy heartfelt gratitude to the very many kind and wonderful people who made that possible! 💖💖

By the very end of the year, there was very little left in the tank and unfortunately this meant exiting one of the most wonderful years of my life without any energy left to savour those successes!

Thank you so much to everyone who’s been checking in on me as my absence from the public sphere has become more obvious. I truly appreciate all the love and care! I haven’t been able to respond to you individually yet, but I will certainly be doing so. 💖💖

Out of this has come some valuable insights into how I manage my energy 😊

I hope that 2024 is off to a great start for you all! I’m already looking forward to a great one! 💐

After women escape from DFV… what next? Who will work with them for the coming weeks, months, and even years to help them rebuild their lives, or even live as an independent adult for the first time ever? This is the mission of Open Haven Ltd and I am proud to be an ambassador for this amazing charity.

Open Haven is holding a fundraising Gala at the Queensland Art Gallery on Saturday 14 October, and we really need some more of you to join us to raise money for this sadly needed cause.

🌟 This year's Open Haven Charity Gala will be one you won't want to miss! We invite you to participate in another great event in the breath taking Watermall at QAGOMA.
Tickets include:
★ Canapes on arrival
★ Sit down 2-course meal including main and dessert
★ 4-hour premium drink package
★ Network and make connections with like-minded people.
Dress code: Cocktail.

We ask that you please purchase your tickets early, invite your friends, clients, and colleagues and come along to support the work of Open Haven so you can be part of seeing these women feel valued, empowered and equipped in a supportive community.

With your support, the net proceeds will go towards Open Haven so we can to continue supporting women and children who have come out of domestic and family violence situations.

Tickets available from: https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/open-haven-charity-gala-tickets-657233572307

🌟

Open Haven Charity Gala Open Haven Charity Gala is being held at the Gallery of Modern Art in South Brisbane, on Saturday the 14th of October, from 6:30pm - 11:00pm

On my way to Sydney to model for the ABCC Australia Brazil Chamber of Commerce Brazil Fashion Day. I’m proud to be representing 4Mindful Soul — beautiful, natural stone jewellery with meaning behind every piece. The stone I am wearing today is fuchsite, traditionally associated with calm, compassion, and clarity.

Thank you also to Australian label Dissh for outfitting me for the day.

My ride this morning is Qantas Boeing 737-800 VH-VXC “Gippsland”, construction number 30897-1049. Qantas bought “Gippsland” new from Boeing in 2002, making her one of the oldest 737s in the Qantas fleet. Interestingly, this aircraft has been struck by lightning twice, once in 2009 approaching Coolangatta, then again in 2012 approaching Kalgoorlie. ⚡️⚡️ There was no damage either time. Clear skies today though!

I last flew on this aircraft in February 2022, so my total for the number of Qantas’ 737s that I have flown on stands at 13 out of the fleet of 75.

On Thursday, I released edition 10 of my events calendar! Ten already!! 😮

Not so many new events this week, but there are a couple I’m especially excited about. Most of all, as a consent educator, I’m thrilled that Chanel Contos will be in Brisbane to talk about her book “Consent Laid Bare”. She will be interviewed by Rebecca Sparrow, whose work I also greatly admire. This is not to be missed!

Spotlight this week is on Debbie Miller, founder of Fashion Is My passion, a massive online community with meetups on the Gold Coast. Debbie has gathered a beautiful circle around her and if you love fashion, you owe it to yourself to connect.

I’m told there are still a few tickets to ABCC Australia Brazil Chamber of Commerce Brazil Fashion Day tomorrow. I am proud to be modelling for this event, representing jewellery label 4Mindful Soul. Many thanks also to Dissh for outfitting me for the day.

If you don’t have a ticket yet, slide into my DMs for a discount code! 🇧🇷

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On this week:
Brazil Week Fashion Day
Hats & High Tea
Women's Network Australia Devonshire Tea
Amanda Reboul - Madame Bollinger Luncheon
The Expression Atelier - Sound Bath Meditation
Red Rose Foundation Australia - Simply the Best: Charity Lunch
Fashion is My Passion - Summer with Flair
Moon-Rose Magick Curious and Curiouser

New dates for:
Chanel Contos - Consent Laid Bare
Brisbane Fashion Month
Smitten Club
Camilla Social SEQ Christmas Lunch
Impact Boom - Female Founders Forward Showcase

Discount codes for:
Brazil Fashion Day 🌟
Blossom - Women Empowerment & Healing Full Moon Meditation Circle 🌟

My focus is on in-person events by and for women and other femme folk in Brisbane and on the Gold Coast. And I would never list anything where I cannot vouch for the event or its organisers.

“Let your light shine so brightly that others can see their way out of the dark.” – Katrina Mayer

We shine and sparkle not just for ourselves, but for the whole world.

”

So inspired by and so proud of the work that Mind Your Fashion is doing to promote mental health in the fashion industry.

Founder Jude Kingston is taking Australian labels and models to New York to spread that message:

“Our goal is to have a presence at every global fashion week, so we can continue to raise awareness of mental health and educate those in the fashion industry to change behaviours by challenging outdated stigmas.”

Read more:

https://www.ragtrader.com.au/news/times-square-to-feature-australian-designers

Such great questions from yesterday’s “Ask me anything”. Thank you all! 💖💖

“People are like stained -glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” — Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

A Friday morning reminder to keep shining, beautiful souls. 💖✨

What was something that surprised you this week?

I’ll share one in the comments.

You are an amazing, sparkly human being with a wide range of skills and abilities… but I’m sorry to tell you, mind-reading is not among them.

Yet, how many times have you held yourself back from doing something or trying something new because of what somebody in your life will think?

Even worse ­— a lot of the time, we’re not even worrying about what someone in particular will think, but what some vague, unspecified group of “people” might think. Who, exactly?

Yet, we can feel so sure that there’s all these people ready and waiting to judge us.

Here’s the thing. In the absence of evidence, we are literally making all this up. We are taking our own doubts and insecurities about ourselves (our “inner critic”) and imagining their words in the minds and mouths of other people. Because then, it seems somehow more legitimate: “Oh, it’s not me thinking these nasty things about me, it’s that person.”

So today, let me offer you three ways to short-circuit that thinking. Whenever you find yourself hesitant to do something, or wear something, or try something because of what others will think, remind yourself:

* you actually don’t know what’s going on in someone else’s head or what they’re thinking. It’s you who are making up the mean thoughts and attributing them to others.

* most people are too busy living their own lives to be paying attention to what you’re doing with yours. In reality, they’re thinking about you far less than you think they are.

* even if someone does disapprove of what you’re doing, that’s up to them. As one of my coaches put it, “their opinion of you is none of your business”. It’s not like you can control that anyway.

Let me leave you with a final thought: It could be that there really is someone in your life who regularly shares their disapproval of your life with you. If this is the case, it might be time to consider the value of that relationship. But that’s a topic for a different day.

If you need help learning to worry less about the opinions of other people so that you can express your full, sparkly self, send me a message and I’ll be happy to chat more. (Let’s practice on some of the mean things you actually imagine people thinking about you!)

Yes!!

Meet this week's Business in the Limelight - Rudi Landmann 🤩🥂

Rudi is a life coach who helps women get their sparkle back.
Rudi understands that there are many reasons why a woman's unique and beautiful self may not be fully visible at the moment. It could be due to changes in your work or personal life, dealing with difficult people, or the lies that the self-doubt tells you. Rudi is there to listen, to ask thought-provoking questions, to help you stay true to yourself, hold you accountable, and to cheer you on as you rise!

If you would like to get in contact with Rudi Landmann visit our LWLL Website/Business Directory for more information, and find out how you can also be a "Business in the Limelight"! 📣🥂🤩
www.ladieswholonglunch.com/business-directory

On Saturday 15, it was my immense honour and privilege to model for Paradise Point Fashion Lab in the Ravishingfashionistas Fashion Week 2023 runway show.

Designer Annette Love is a passionate advocate for mental health and for sustainability in fashion: values that I hold dear as well. This stunning dress and corset were entirely constructed from upcycled fabrics.

Ravishing Fashionistas is a show dedicated to “Embrace Yourself by Breaking Stereotypes” and I’m grateful to director Upma Kite for allowing me to do exactly that.

Event: RF Fashion Week 2023
Designer: Annette Love, Paradise Point Fashion Lab
Event Director: Upma Kite
Venue: Queen Street Mall

Have you ever had that experience in a classroom or a work meeting where someone asks a question that makes it really really clear that they haven’t done the reading before turning up? Awkward, right?

A few days ago, I shared a link to a recent ”4 Corners” story on the issues surrounding healthcare for trans and gender-diverse children and youth. I shared it in the hope that it would be a useful primer for compassionately curious people new to thinking about trans and gender-diverse issues.

Today, I deleted a very disappointing comment that somebody left. In it, they asked two things, to which I will respond below.

I chose to reply like this rather than let their original comment stand because I got a strong sense that the questions were not asked in good faith. However, the answers might still be useful to a broader audience, so let’s take a look:

Q: Does the story talk about detransitioning (cases where somebody has been through a gender transition and wants to reverse it)?

A: Yes. And if they’d watched the story, they would have seen this and not needed to ask (one reason that I evaluated their comment as bad-faith). Detransitioning and regret are very real and valid concerns for anyone looking into gender-confirming treatments, and especially for young people. That said, this concern needs to be considered in the context of:
* the potential side effects (and potential regret) that *any* medical treatment carries
* the potential regret of *not* intervening, or not intervening early enough. This is a consideration I find most strangely absent whenever somebody wants to talk about regret.

Q: Does the story explore the idea that gender-confirming care is a plot by “big pharma” (their words) to make lots and lots of money from an unsuspecting public?

A: No. And for the record, it also does not cover a whole lot of other theories in a similar spirit that I’ve come across. There are people out there offering all kinds of bad-faith explanations about why we trans and gender diverse people even exist. But not every idea is of equal value, and not every idea is worthy of serious consideration or exploration.

I’ll leave the link to the original story here again in the hope that if you haven’t already watched it, you might. If you seek to understand some of the issues here, this is a great place to start:

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-07-10/blocked:-the-battle-over-youth-gender-care/102584850

Blocked: The battle over youth gender care Trusted and independent source of local, national and world news. In-depth analysis, business, sport, weather and more.

Last night, I attended the launch of Tracey Spicer’s new book, “Man-Made”. It’s about some of the issues around Artificial Intelligence — specifically about how as we build machines that mimic human behaviour, we are building in human biases and prejudices as well. Some of the incidents Tracey spoke about included examples of AIs taking on racist and sexist assumptions baked into the data they were trained on and the algorithms that interpreted it.

And while a lot of current talk about AI is very “doom and gloom”, Tracey also discussed the tremendous potential of AI to improve human lives.

I can’t wait to get stuck into this book!

Tracey was introduced by Dame Quentin Bryce and the event was hosted by Avid Reader Bookshop. And it was lovely to meet some on-line friends in real life! 💖💖

My dress is “Buttercup” by SPELL

Buy “Man-Made” here:
https://avidreader.com.au/p/man-made-how-the-bias-of-the-past-is-being-built-into-the-future?barcode=9781761106378

Want to know what other fascinating and beautiful events are coming up in Brisbane and on the Gold Coast? Get my event calendar here: https://rudilandmann.com/rudis-calendar/

The world has come a long way in the last few years towards understanding and welcoming trans and gender-diverse people. Each and every day, I am grateful to live in a time and place where I can express myself authentically and be met with acceptance and inclusion, and in relative safety. For us as a society, this is still a work in progress. Good and kind people with all kinds of different life experiences are still figuring out how we all live together and support and celebrate each other.

As a work in progress, there are still many unanswered questions. And unfortunately, some of them have become very highly polarised and politicised in ways that are not only unhelpful, but even counter-productive. One of them is the question of, as a society, how do we best care for trans and gender-diverse children and youth?

This is an obviously emotive topic, and I find it sad that some of the very loudest voices are not people who have any lived experience of being trans or gender diverse themselves, or of being the parent or guardian of a trans or gender-diverse child.

Don’t get me wrong — I think conversations like this benefit from a very wide range of perspectives, from people with all kinds of different life experiences. And at the same time, whenever we as individuals discuss a topic that substantially impacts a group of people of which we are not part, then it is on us to do a lot more listening than speaking.

On Monday night, the ABC “Four Corners” program aired an episode that explored some of the main issues around the care that trans and gender-diverse children and youth can access in Australia. Central to the report is the question of doctors prescribing puberty blockers to children. These are drugs that can put natural puberty on hold, and buy some time for a young person to consider how they want to live in future. The program also discusses “affirmative care” — a model of health care that primarily takes people at their word about their own identities, even children.

In a one-hour program, there isn’t time to fully explore all the complex issues around these practices, let alone the care of trans and gender-diverse children and youth more generally. Instead, this episode serves as an excellent and balanced primer and introduction to the topic, and presents a variety of viewpoints.

I highly, highly recommend this episode to anybody who is curious about, or concerned about, the medical care that young trans and gender-diverse people have access to in Australia.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-07-11/blocked:-the-battle-over-youth-gender-care/102587506

I am very grateful to the ABC for producing such a well researched, well presented, and thoughtful report.

When you’ve watched it, I’d love to hear your thoughts. And even more than that, I’d love to hear your questions and the things you’re still wondering about. I can’t pretend to speak for all trans or gender-diverse people, but if there’s something you want to ask, even if it’s awkward (*especially* if it’s awkward!) then I’d love you to reach out, in the comments here, or via PM, or by email to [email protected]

Blocked: The battle over youth gender care Trusted and independent source of local, national and world news. In-depth analysis, business, sport, weather and more.

Walking into Thursday like…

👗 “Sisterhood of the Rose” by Camilla
👑 headpiece by Flora Fascinata
📸 Erika Myer

It’s been a really huge week, so here’s a from last week when a brand new networking event arrived in Brisbane — “Build Her Up” by KBL Collective

It was lovely getting to know more entrepreneurs and small business owners from across Brisbane, and to hear stories from the panel of what has worked for them (and not) in building their own businesses.

Congratulations Karissa on such a wonderful debut! 💐

I’m wearing “Mother Xanadu” by Camilla

Today I was immensely honoured to be feaured on the ABC Australia podcast “Days Like These”.

Jenae Jenkins interviewed me about my journey of the last few years.

Most specifically, she drew out the amazing love story that Laura and I share. 💖💖

The episode is called “How Rudi embraced love, Laura – and leggings” and also tells the story of how a pair of Lorna Jane Active tights provided a turning point in my life. (And Camilla gets a mention too at another turning point).

Listen online here: https://www.abc.net.au/radio/programs/days-like-these/how-rudi-embraced-love-laura-and-leggings/102500586

Or Apple: https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=1534672561&i=1000617734142

Or Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6FkE3eU3NZf2lmQQffCGnN?si=QScPMSjQSZuP20LE66n0pQ

Yesterday saw the return of We Love Brunch Co, under the new leadership of Kate Gundry

A fabulous afternoon of networking and making new friends. 💖

My dress is “For the Love of Leo” by Camilla

Some feedback from “Trumpfan78930” tonight reminded me of a quote by one of my very favourite authors, Neil Gaiman. A few years ago, Gaiman wrote:

‘I started imagining a world in which we replaced the phrase “politically correct” wherever we could with “treating other people with respect”, and it made me smile.

You should try it. It’s peculiarly enlightening.

I know what you’re thinking now. You’re thinking “Oh my god, that’s treating other people with respect gone mad!”’

Today, we can make the same substitution for “wokeness”, which has replaced “political correctness” as a weird way of framing respect and kindness as negative things.

Thank you, “Trumpfan78930” for reminding me of Gaiman’s beautiful words and to share them with my friends 💖💐