Brendan Turner

What an amazing interview with Stephen Porges and his son Seth who discuss polyvagal theory in simple practical terms with the tools we need to deepen our social bonds and sense of safety in this stressful modern world.

Our Polyvagal World with Stephen and Seth Porges We catch up with return guest Stephen Porges as he introduces his son, Seth, who has co-authored a new book called Our Polyvagal World. You can find out more...

This is how our attachment style imprinted on the right-brain in childhood shows up in our adult relationships. The only way to shift to a secure attachment as an adult is with right-brain based therapy.

Many of us have unprocessed attachment trauma from early childhood. Neuroscience-based, right-brain, emotion-focused, body-centred therapy is the path to healing and an "earned" secure attachment.

5 Subtle Signs of Unprocessed Attachment Trauma How these symptoms can affect the quality of our lives.

When we shift from a "problem focused" to a "trauma informed" perspective, we move away from judgement and shame, to empathy and understanding, and this allows powerful healing to take place.

Improving self-regulation and expanding capacity are the goals of somatic and trauma work. We must bring in the body to experience these changes in therapy.

Unresolved traumatic stress in the nervous system can manifest as various emotional issues.

Early relational trauma is imprinted on our developing brain, and as adults, this can manifest as turmoil in our relationships and parenting. Somatic therapy targets and rewires these neural pathways to improve our capacity to regulate our emotions and form empathic relationships.

Adverse childhood experiences and not having our basic needs met by our caregivers leads to health and wellbeing problems throughout life. The good news is working bottom-up with the body enables us to heal these early attachment wounds and trauma.

Past trauma is all in the body!

Bottom up treatments are essential in trauma healing, attachment repair and improving self-regulation! Somatic/body psychotherapy is the most profound and transformative work I have ever experienced.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/simplifying-complex-trauma/202112/how-bottom-treatment-can-address-trauma?fbclid=IwAR362PlRdp3ymP9abCusTejcSW5gg2AIMbj1f9VzPpEZjZtvpzvHFZ2bOcg

How Bottom-Up Treatment Can Address Trauma Strategies to help the adult brain engage with past trauma.

Understanding the collapse/shutdown state of the nervous system is critical to improve our ability to self-regulate and better cope with life.

This is a great summary of the differences between PTSD and c-PTSD.

Transforming shame is about moving from self-judgment to self-empathy.

Shame can affect clients’ relationships, their work, and the way they approach the world.

And it can be difficult for those struggling with shame to be kind to themselves.

That's why we created this free tool to share with clients that breaks down the 5 key steps for transforming shame with self-compassion.

Take a look: https://www.nicabm.com/a-5-step-process-for-transforming-shame-with-self-compassion/

Have you experienced toxic positivity? We'd love to what you think about it in the comments below 👇(Avamariedoodles)

Sometimes the people who have abused us and wounded us are also the same people who have cared for us and shown us love. We may have a lot of upsetting memories about an abuser but also good memories too. It can feel confusing and scary to hold both these truths at once.

Sometimes we may try to exile or separate ourselves from the parts of us that felt/feel love, longing or desire for that person. Or we may try to exile the part of us that was hurt or abused. We can do this by focusing on only the good or bad memories. This is such an understandable survival strategy. It may make it feel easier to hold a boundary or to keep the person in our lives. It may protect us from grief and it may help things feel less confusing.

If you do feel confused by these mixed feelings that are swirling around under the surface, know that you are not alone. When someone that we love and trust hurts us, it is confusing. We often have to fragment and dissociate to survive.

I want to extend so much love and care to those exiled parts; parts that might feel afraid, helpless and alone. I want those parts to know that all of these feelings are so valid and very understandable.

It is a lot to hold the breadth of who people are and what they are capable of. There is no rush to ever do it. But if you are sitting with an icky feeling around missing someone that hurt you, know that there is nothing wrong with you. You are allowed to hold a boundary, grieve the ways you’ve been hurt and also miss someone deeply.

If you are struggling to confront the ways that someone close to you has hurt you/is hurting you, just know there is nothing wrong with you. You are allowed to slowly dip your toe into acknowledging the wrong doing. You are allowed to take your time. It does not mean you have to cut the person out of your life if you don’t feel ready to.

There is space for all of you and all of your feelings 💜