XTend Yourself

Recently amendments to NDIS were passed, aiming to make the NDIS stronger and improving the experience for participants. These changes will come into effect on 3 October 2024, but it's important to have an understanding of how this may impact your plan and funding before then.

Here's a summary of the areas impacted by legislation changes:

- Separate pathways
- Disability requirements
- Early intervention requirements
- Limit of making new access requests
- Support for impairments
- NDIS supports
- Plan management decisions
- Total funding amounts, funding component amounts and funding periods
- Plan variations
- Information gathering for deciding to revoke participant's status
- Eligibility reassessment
- Claims and payments framework
- New planning framework
- Support needs assessment.

For more information, or to find out how these changes will impact you head to:
https://www.ndis.gov.au/changes-ndis-legislation/summary-legislation-changes

7. Master the art of relaxation
Have you made some steps toward breaking up with busyness, but now find yourself unable to relax in the free time you’ve so carefully created?

When busy becomes your default setting, relaxation can feel strangely foreign and uncomfortable. By taking some daily time for meditation, a walk in nature or a long hot bath, you can re-familiarise yourself with a calmer, more peaceful state of being.

8. Give up guilt
Picture this, you choose to say no to busyness tonight. You are now watching a cooking show whilst eating a microwaved instant meal, which is filling you with a growing sense of unworthiness.

If you have enough self-compassion to give up extreme busyness, it’s helpful to offer yourself just a little more self-compassion to give up any useless accompanying guilt.

If you’re putting these tips to work and are keen to continue to keep busyness at bay - check back in soon for more suggestions.

We are so excited to announce that our CEO, Vendra Begonja, has been selected as a finalist in the ACT Telstra Business Awards!

Vendra has been a dedicated member of the ACT community who has worked hard, both professionally and personally, to make a positive impact on culture and society, so people with disabilities, and from all walks of life, can thrive as part of a supportive community.

We couldn’t be prouder of her and are so pleased that she is receiving this much-deserved acknowledgment of her tireless efforts and her passionate spirit.

Join us in wishing her a big congratulations!

In the case of mental health recovery, setting life goals has become a crucial task.

This is because, while it’s effective, it’s quite challenging and difficult.

It may be difficult at first, but, with the right ways and mindset, you will be able to set your ultimate life goals.

Here are some tips on how to do it:

#1 Write a ‘To-Do’ List

Writing a ‘to-do’ list is one of the most effective ways to set your goals. In fact, the chances of achieving each of your goals are very high given that you have a guide to follow. In a way, this makes it much easier on your end to monitor your progress and your activities.

It need not be grand or huge. Even the simplest of all tasks can be written down in your to-do list, as long as they will help you achieve your goal. So, if you are having a hard time setting and following your big and end goals, start with a simple to-do list on a daily basis.

You can write your to-do list in a notebook or a journal. You can even jot it down or pin it on your gadgets – there are several apps now that can help you with this activity.

Stay tuned for more ways on how you can help achieve goals for the sake and benefit of your mental health.

Manipulators are often brazen about judging you, making fun of you, and making you feel bad about yourself.

The reason? They want to make you feel like you’re doing something wrong, and that no matter what you do, you won't be as good as them.

Manipulators only focus on what they view as your negative aspects and don't offer comments that lift you up and support you.
..who in your life is making fun of you and focusing on the negative? Take this post as a prompt to take a moment in silence and really assess those in your life, how they are making you feel, and if you could be the subject of manipulation.

Often times people feel helpless in dealing with someone who is depressed or suicidal.

Remember, depression is a treatable mental disorder, it’s not something you can “catch” or a sign of personal weakness. Your friend or loved one needs to know you’re there for them, that you care and you will support them no matter what.

Su***de is one of the most serious symptoms of someone who is suffering from severe depression.
Common signs of depression include:
..Depressed or sad mood (e.g., feeling “blue” or “down in the dumps”)..A change in the person’s sleeping patterns (e.g., sleeping too much or too little, or having difficulty sleeping the night through)..A significant change in the person’s weight or appetite..Speaking and/or moving with unusual speed or slowness

Keep watch for future posts which talk about common signs of depression, so that you can become aware of people around you... or aware of yourself.

To recongise National Grief Awareness Day, today, we focus on The Kübler-Ross Model of Grieving.

The Kübler-Ross model examines the five most common emotional reactions to loss:
1) denial
2) anger
3) bargaining
4) depression
5) acceptance

Mourning doesn’t come only from dealing with your own death or the death of a loved one. Mourning can also come as a result of an illness, the end of a relationship, or even the end of a project or dream.

If you or someone you love are going through a loss, the new emotions may feel overwhelming and confusing. Feeling this way is natural and even necessary. These emotions are forward steps in the healing journey, even when it doesn’t feel like it at the moment. Healing from a loss is possible, but it does take time and patience.

What matters is how you feel... and there are no right or wrong feelings regarding a loss.

We share love and understanding with everyone who reads this, who is experiencing grief in their lives right now.

The word “family” can bring to mind an array of complex emotions. Depending on your childhood and current family situation, these feelings could be mostly positive, mostly negative, or an equal mix of both.

If you’ve experienced a toxic dynamic, whether it's family, friends, colleagues or just a member of the public, your feelings may go beyond frustration or annoyance. Instead, interacting with or even thinking about them might cause significant emotional distress.

You are not alone.

Therapists are in the same boat - they also can be subject to the same treatment from others. Remember, therapists are human, just like you.

Complex trauma usually occurs as a result of repeated trauma experienced by a child or young person, although it can also occur as a result of experiences as an adult.

Complex trauma:
👉🏼 usually occurs between people
👉🏼 often involves ‘being or feeling’ trapped
👉🏼 is often planned, extreme, ongoing and/or repeated
👉🏼 often has impacts which can last a long time
👉🏼 can cause you to feel ashamed
👉🏼 can stop you feeling safe and being able to trust
👉🏼 can make you feel bad about yourself
👉🏼 can make it hard for you to manage your feelings
👉🏼 can mean that you use different coping strategies such as alcohol and drugs, self-harm, over- or under-eating or over-working
👉🏼 can affect your physical and mental health and your wellbeing
👉🏼 can affect your relationships and your ability to manage your daily life

If you feel as though you have experienced complex trauma and are in need of support, XTend Yourself can help you.

Get in contact with us today - https://www.xtendyourself.com.au/

Think of how often you communicate with people during the day. You write emails, facilitate meetings, participate in conference calls, create reports, devise presentations, debate with your colleagues… the list goes on.

We can spend almost our entire day communicating. So, it stands to reason that communicating clearly and effectively is very important.

#1 - Be clear.

When writing or speaking to someone, be clear about your goal or message. What is your purpose in communicating with this person? If you’re not sure, then your audience won’t be either.

To be clear, try to minimise the number of ideas in each sentence. Make sure that it’s easy for your reader to understand your meaning. People shouldn’t have to “read between the lines” and make assumptions on their own to understand what you’re trying to say.

Next, we will discuss how to be concise in your communication. Stay tuned!

#4. Try to eat as healthily as possible.

You might be wondering what healthy and mindful eating has to do with coping with change... well, read on!

When change happens, a lot of us tend to reach for carbs—bread, muffins, cake, etc. This may be because eating carbs boosts serotonin—a brain chemical that may be somewhat depleted when you undergo change (stress).
..It’s okay to soothe yourself with comfort foods—in moderation.

One way to track what you are eating is to write it down. You can either do this in a notebook or use an app. When you see what you are eating, it makes you take a step back and think about whether you want to eat that second muffin or not.

Also notice if you are experiencing an increased use of alcohol or other substances; your use can sneak up on you when you are under stress.

Consider the guide that will be featured in this new series, to examine your values:

Number 1:

We would like to invite you to consider what’s present now.

What emotions are arising?
Perhaps you’re feeling uncomfortable, uneasy, suffering in some way, something weighs on your heart or your mind.
Maybe you are attending to things around you in your immediate environment, or in society at large, or in the world.
Perhaps you are feeling fear, discontent, outrage, nervousness, unsettledness, worry, anger.

This is the first step with getting connected to you, what's important and perhaps what is lacking in your current way of life and surrounds.

When your thoughts start spiralling, getting off the “staircase” can feel impossible. One terrible notion leads to the next: If I can’t get this report done in time, you might think, then I’ll be fired. And if I’m fired, I’ll have no money. If I have no money, I can't pay the rent, etc etc... sound familiar?

This anxiety spiral — also known as “catastrophic thinking”, often occurs alongside anxiety and depression.

Here are some tips on how to prevent Catastrophic Thinking...

#1 - Keep an eye on your thoughts

The first step in preventing the anxiety avalanche is learning to recognise the signs.

Practice observing your thoughts without judging their validity or truthfulness. If that sounds hard, you aren’t alone: there’s a reason an increasing number of Australians are taking up yoga and meditation.
Sign up for a nearby yoga class or take time each morning to meditate. These practices teach you how to acknowledge your thoughts — without getting swept up in their tide.

Stopping catastrophic thinking requires stepping in at the first sign of trouble. Once you understand your personal thought patterns, recognising a disturbance will be much easier.

Our 'Ways to Develop Resilience' series continues...
.. Don’t compare yourself to others.
Run your own race. You can control one life—yours. But when we constantly compare ourselves to others, we waste precious energy focusing on other peoples' lives rather than our own.
.. Put in daily effort toward your goals.
Practice persistence. Practice overcoming hurdles in everyday life. What will you do today to challenge yourself?
.. Spend time with resilient people. We tend to become similar to the people we hang out with – choose wisely. Look for role models. If you can, spend time with such people. If not, read about or watch programs showing how your role models dealt with difficulties, for inspiration and guidance.

Stay tuned for more resilience support tips!

$resilient

Crying is a powerful tool to express emotion and is often used in therapy sessions. Crying can be a sign of distress deep pain, or it can be a way of releasing emotions that have been bottled up for too long.

Therapists recognise the importance of crying and view it as an opportunity to help the person work through their feelings.

However, as much as they might want to comfort you, therapists need to abide by ethical guidelines which include physical boundaries. Instead, therapists attempt to comfort you in other ways, such as, active listening, validation, and reframing to help the person process their painful emotions and gain insight into their experience.

Know that your therapist is invested (well, should be) in helping you during your session, even if they don't physically comfort you.

If you feel you are in need of some support, please reach out to us to see what we can do for you.

👉🏼 https://www.xtendyourself.com.au/

Humans are hard-wired for connection, and if this need isn't satisfied in childhood, then the person may carry feelings of loneliness with them throughout the remainder of their life.

Having a turbulent or unstable upbringing may cause young people to not build strong connections with others, and thus this effect of 'developmental loneliness' can take place.

Ask yourself, do you feel as though you missed out on deep connection during childhood and now as a teenager or adult often having a 'lonely' feeling that you can't quite put your finger on? This could be the answer.

We hope this may have helped you understand yourself a bit more, and if you need more support in unpacking this, we are here.

https://www.xtendyourself.com.au/

4. Don’t let your life be directed by clever advertising people

Advertisers love keeping us busy pursuing all sorts of shiny consumer distractions, but somehow after making our purchases, life doesn’t end up as happy, shiny and joy-filled as it would appear in the ads. Rather than investing our precious time doing what matters most, we end up with things we don't need.

5. Put yourself in a position other than last
While we pride ourselves on being dutiful workers, dutiful parents, dutiful friends or dutiful carers, all too often we forget the duty of care we owe to ourselves. We instinctively say yes, don’t maintain our boundaries and let the demands of others be prioritised above our own. Discover the magical life-changing power of occasionally saying “no”.

6. Step away from the screen
Despite us feeling time poor, statistics show we are still managing to squeeze in many hours of electronic stimulation. Contending with countless apps, devices and open tabs keeps your brain brutally busy and drags your attention away from those things that really matter. Next time you feel your hand instinctively reaching for your phone, pause for a moment and consider what else you could be doing.

Stay tuned for more tips of how to 'break up with busy' and most importantly, don't just read this - try and put these tips to good use!

*NOTE: Potentially triggering information provided. Discretion is advised.*

Have you noticed someone in your life doing one or more of the following activities?

Friends and family who are close to an individual are in the best position to spot warning signs.

Often times people feel helpless in dealing with someone who is depressed or suicidal. Usually it is helpful to encourage the person to seek professional help.

Remember, depression is a treatable mental disorder, it’s not something you can “catch” or a sign of personal weakness.

Your friend or loved one needs to know you’re there for them, that you care and you will support them no matter what.

A classic manipulator tactic is to put on a look of surprise or confusion.

This tactic makes the victim question their own judgment and possibly their own sanity.

A manipulator tries to play dumb by pretending they do not know what the victim is talking about or is confused about an important issue brought to their attention.

The next time you think you are being manipulated, look out for this common tactic - it's a dead giveaway!

The last tactic in our Stress Management Strategy series is #7 - to meditate.

Sit quietly in a peaceful place, close your eyes and breathe low and slow.

Closing your eyes can make it faster and easier.

Counting your breath in for 2, hold for 2, out for 2 and hold for 2 makes relaxing easier.

You may want to slow the breath down to a 4 or 6 count rotation.

We hope that all these stress management strategies help you the next time you feel stressed and are in need of some guidance.

We take mental health seriously and one of the ways that we show and support this is by holding our mental health retreats.

This weekend Vendra was delighted to host one of our retreats for a valued participant. The retreat took place in Wollongong and provided many memorable experiences for all involved.

This photo was taken at the City Cave Float Tank where they experienced the Float Therapy experience.

The Float Therapy experience involves lying in a pool filled with 400kg of Epsom salts, with water that is perfectly heated to our external body temperature. The body and mind then go into a meditative state and this state helps heal the body, reduces stress and anxiety, and immerses the body into deep relaxation.

We would like to give a massive shout out to City Cave Float & Wellness as they were not only disability friendly, but their staff went above and beyond.

XTend Yourself holds many different types of retreats that help connection with mind and body. This includes retreats for both groups as well as individuals.

If you would like to know more, get in touch with Vendra today - [email protected]

*NOTE: Potentially triggering information provided. Discretion is advised.*

'Reproductive Coercion and Abuse' refers to a range of behaviours such as pressure, manipulation, emotional blackmail, trickery, threats and the use of various kinds of abuse to dictate a person’s reproductive choices.

What are Pregnancy-promoting behaviours?

👉🏼 Physical violence and threats of physical violence towards the victim-survivor, or their children, if they try to have an abortion, use contraception, attend medical appointments to access contraception or refuse to have s*x

👉🏼 Sabotaging contraception, not allowing the victim-survivor to use contraception, refusing to wear a condom and/or secret non-consensual condom removal during s*x with the intention to cause pregnancy (the latter is known as ‘stealthing’)

👉🏼 Emotional abuse towards the victim-survivor because the perpetrator wants them to become pregnant or continue a pregnancy

👉🏼 Sexual violence with the intention to cause pregnancy

👉🏼 Withdrawal of physical, financial and emotional support until the victim-survivor agrees to become pregnant or continue a pregnancy

👉🏼 Preventing access to abortion services.

What are Pregnancy-preventing behaviours?

👉🏼 Physical violence to force contraception use or induce miscarriage

👉🏼 Forcing the victim-survivor into permanent methods of contraception

👉🏼 Emotional abuse, physical abuse and/or threats of physical violence to the victim-survivor, or their children/family, if they do not terminate a pregnancy

👉🏼 Withdrawal of material, financial and emotional support until the victim-survivor agrees to terminate a pregnancy.

If you feel you are in a relationship dynamic where one of these behaviours is taking please, this is a serious matter and you shouldn't delay in getting support.

If you need XTend Yourself, we are here for you.

International Self Care Day is a reminder of the importance of self care and the benefits that it can have on our lives.

Self care is a vital practice and an essential part of managing modern life. It can drastically improve mood, confidence, and attitude as well as many other quality of life essentials.

Celebrating International Self Care Day 2024 is all about taking care of yourself and engaging with healthy practices that promote individual and collective wellbeing.

These practices are varied and numerous and what works for you may not necessarily work for someone else.

What self care practices will you engage in today? Feel free to share in the comments below!

If you want to make changes in your life, it’s time for you to see your pattern of people pleasing clearly and stop basing your sense of worthiness on other people’s approval of you... this includes telling someone that their comment has hurt your feelings.

Change your perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors and receive the love and respect you desire by celebrating your freedom from the longing to be accepted by others, and the freedom in speaking your truth!

The last tip in our series on how to stop emotional eating... is to banish distractions.

You may find yourself eating in front of the television, computer or some other distraction. Try switching off the tube or putting down your phone the next time you find yourself in this pattern.

By focusing on your food, the bites you take, and your level of hunger, you may discover that you’re eating emotionally. Some even find it helpful to focus on chewing 10 to 30 times before swallowing a bite of food.

Doing these things gives your mind time to catch up to your stomach.

Hope this helps if you are someone who has a propensity to emotionally eat.

#6 - Exercise to change your state

Exercise is a fast way to destress.

Physical activity which is eustress (good stress) triggers your body to release endorphins — “feel good” chemicals that serve as your body’s natural painkillers.

Even five minutes of aerobic activity can reduce your anxiety and help you better cope with stress.

Give it a go, and see how you go!

Complex trauma usually occurs as a result of repeated trauma experienced by a child or young person, although it can also occur as a result of experiences as an adult. Some people experience trauma across their lives.

People who were emotionally, physically or s*xually abused or physically or emotionally neglected, bullied, cyberbullied, exploited, trafficked or subjected to forced adoption practices as a child or young person often experience complex trauma. So can people who experienced or witnessed violence in the community or in the home and family when they were growing up.

However, complex trauma is not always the result of childhood trauma. It can also occur as a result of adults’ experience of violence in the home, family, neighbourhood and workplace. It can be physical, s*xual, emotional, verbal, financial or spiritual.

Being trauma-informed can reduce the possibility of re-traumatisation. If you believe you have some complex trauma, contact us at XTend Yourself, as it's an area that we specialise in.

www.xtendyourself.com.au

Stop being content with boring chitchat about the weather and sports, and dig into real, meaningful conversations with people on New Conversations Day.

New Conversations Day is about not waiting until tomorrow to have the conversations we could be having.
..Like asking each other what we should be doing with our lives..What decisions we need to make that we might have been avoiding..Talking to older people and discovering their stories..or simply sharing the big ideas in our hearts

Today is a day to not be content with dull conversation.

What will you ask the people in your lives, today?

The more change that is happening, the more important it is to stick to your regular schedule—as much as possible.

Having some things that stay the same, like walking the dog every morning at 8 am, gives us an anchor. An anchor is a reminder that some things are still the same, and it gives your brain a little bit of a rest.

Sometimes when you are going through a lot of change it helps to write down your routine and check it off as you go. It’s one less thing for your brain to have to hold inside.

Schizophrenia is a condition that involves disturbances of perception, behaviour, emotion and thought. Usually, it develops first among teenagers and young adults.

Signs of schizophrenia are:
..Psychotic symptoms: Hallucinations and delusions (seeing and/or hearing things that no-one else can)
..Disorganised thinking, difficulty with attention, planning and concentration
..Anxiety and depression are common among individuals experiencing schizophrenia

The causes of schizophrenia are complex and are a combination of biological and environmental factors. Substance misuse, particularly cannabis, can be a trigger and can worsen symptoms.

Schizophrenia can be severe, and treatment is essential as well as support for the individual and their family. Individuals experiencing schizophrenia can improve, whether that is being symptom-free or living with managed symptoms. Treatment is provided through a range of medications. Linking into the hearing voices network and individual and family counselling may help.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to reach out.