Traditional Birthkeeper - Melbourne

Photo of my boy. Big softie sausage.

An honour indeed to capture one of my dear friends and her husband Louie . What an absolute goddess! Louie rocks a flower crown too. I love capturing precious moments to create memories that will last a lifetime. It's such a joy.

Speaking with my mental health crisis team the other day we talked about motherhood. We were all mothers and all acknowledged how challenging it can be sometimes.

We talked about how as mothers we don't seek help because we don't want to be seen as incompetent. I know how much I push myself and I know I often look like I have my s**t together but it honestly couldn't be further from the truth.

We do not need to be perfect. We don't need a spotless home. We do not need to provide our children with nutritious meals every single time. We can resent motherhood and wish for the times when we didn't have our children. This is NORMAL and it's OK to feel this way.

It's normal to feel guilty, overwhelmed and like you can't cope. As women we carry so much extra responsibility. We simply can't do it all. We are human and our experience as women individually is so important.

I'm sick of seeing influencers portraying these idyllic snapshots of "perfect" lives with their families. I don't want to see that. I want to see the truth, the struggles, the overwhelm. I want the reality not the escapism. Comrades in motherhood. Normalise asking for help.

Asking for help does not make you weak or an incompetent mother. It makes you strong. It makes you less burdened and less likely to get burnout.

This can be a really hard time for some people.
Life can be really hard.
It's OK to seek support when you need it. It's OK to be a hot mess. It's OK to not feel like celebrating Christmas. It's OK. You are doing your best.

I'm currently emerging from a storm. This is unfortunately what recovery from PTSD is like. I am strong. I am capable and I will feel better again. I am allowing the storm to pass. I am grateful to have had really great care from the mental health crisis team. I'm proud of myself for seeking help. It's been hard and as my good friend .mothercare said "December can get in the bin"
Bring on 2023.

As someone with complex mental health conditions I know first hand how hard healing can be. Just when I think I'm ontop of things, something triggers my anxiety and I'm tailspinning out of control.

Healing is not linear. Healing can be profound and life changing but also so complex.

I'm in the midst of a mental health crisis. I've had the CATT team supporting me and I see a psychiatrist on Monday. Due to having suffered with my mental health for a long time I know when I need help and support.

I've spent hours with my psychologist, going once a week for over a year doing intense trauma therapy. I have seen psychiatrists and spent time in a mental health unit. There is so much stigma still around mental health. I get frustrated by people who say "oh why do we have to put a label on it". Labels help people like me to access help! Labels are crucial to the accessibility of my care needs.

I'm always healing and I think I will never stop healing myself. The older I get the more I find I discover parts of myself and I finally feel like I have an identity I can connect too. It's been overwhelming and I'm scared to share because of stigma.

I'm a fu***ng strong muthaf**kin bad bish. I know sharing my truth will help others. F**k the stigma babes.

I'm ready to rise from the ashes. My phoenix is ready for her next set of challenges. I'm tender and raw but ready to rise.

Our bodies know. If we carry fear, our bodies will be tense. If we carry trust, our bodies will be relaxed.
A little bit of fear is OK but it shouldn't be the one driving. Inner work during pregnancy is of up most importance. Understanding our relationship with pain, our relationship with birth, understanding our birth story. It's all important to work through so you can go into birth feeling empowered to make your own decisions.
I help women to learn about themselves more deeply in order to enter their birth feeling confident and capable.

I have limited availability for 2023. If you are interested in working with me please let me know as I only take on one client at a time. Quality not quantity is important to me. I want to journey along side a woman and spend time with her. Connecting and communicating. Loving on her as she journey's

Loving touch. Healing touch. Touch is a powerful sense. Connecting. Grounding. Communicating without words. A gentle touch can mean so much.
Touch during pregnancy builds trust and intimacy. A birthkeeper knows how and when to apply touch. A gentle touch of support. A guiding hand as mum and baby transfer from pool to bed. A gentle tap on the shoulder of the partner to remind them to take a break. Touch is essential. It is an essential part of my service. Touch is connection and energy. It is paramount to the work I do.

Did you know I hire out a birth pool?

If you are within 45 minutes of Heidelberg in Melbourne I deliver and pick up the pool for you to use for your birth.

Hire includes pool, liner, pump and tap attachment. The pool has handles, a seat and even a cup holder.

Waterbirth is great for pain relief and take pressure off the joints. It can help with transition and the warmth protects the perineum. It's also beneficial for baby as when they are born the environment hasn't changed so they won't take a breath until they are brought out of the water. They sti get oxygen from the placenta and cord. They will happily float under the water for a good few seconds.

🌟Nourishing the mother 🌟

I organised a massage and reiki session for my new mumma, she's 4 weeks postpartum. My very talented bestie spent over an hour with mu, massaging and pampering her. I got to help by holding bubba which is always such a delight.

Imagine if this was the norm. Imagine if every mother got to feel nourished and supported.

A mother goes through a marathon to carry her baby for 9 months, then she works exceptionally hard to birth her baby. Honouring this transformation with loving touch and rest is radical. It goes against what society conditions us to believe.
F**k "bouncing" back after birth. Rest. Rest. Rest.

Mother and baby. A dyad.
With each other through pregnancy, birth and post-partum. A unit.
A beautiful mumma and her babe I had honour of capturing recently.

Labour is an altered state of consciousness.
Labour and birth are involuntary processes controlled by hormones from ancient parts of the brain, namely the Hypothalamus and the Pituitary Gland. During labour, these ancient limbic system structures are the most active. This is a reversal of the way the brain operates in everyday life.

It is clear then that labouring women have basic needs in addition to those of other mammals, because of the reflective nature of the mind. Labouring women need to be protected against any sort of useless reactivation of the prefrontal cortex.

We can now add these basic needs of labouring women, to the basic needs of labouring mammals:

Minimal or no use of language in any form;
Minimal or no light;
Removal of all non-beneficial forms of observation;
Warmth, safety and minimal or no disturbance.
When planning your place of birth, it might be worth considering how you might be able to incorporate these features into the room or space in which you will have your baby and who might be able to help you to do this.

I've decided to let the term Doula go. It is a word I no longer identify with. Birthkeeper fits me much more appropriately. It's hard to describe what I do. It's very difficult to define my value but I know that when I work with people it's soul work. Energy exchange and incredibly powerful. Birth is to be respected and unfortunately majority of women will not experience respect in the birth space.

New logo. Always evolving.

A pair of pregnant goddesses that I had the honour of capturing.

💗💗💗

magine being held, nourished, supported.

Through your fears, your tears and your laughter.

Rites of passage can be transformative.
I attended a Hen's on the weekend. It was incredible. Nothing like omnipresent Hen's nights. Not a p***s straw or stripper in sight.

Instead we held space for our Maiden. Fears expressed, blessings given, massage, tea and sweet whispers. After we sat in reverence and reflection, we danced. As one.

It was so powerful and magical. Every woman was respected and it was so refreshing to be in a space where women are building one another up rather than tearing each other down.

📷Me!

I got to witness magic last Tuesday.
Mumma quietly laboured. Focused. In complete trust of her body. Awareness of her strength and power but physically exhausted. A gentle reminder that she could indeed do it was all that was needed.
The lunar eclipse made the moon cardinal red and brilliant.
Born on his due date into Mumma's arms. Partner so attentive and in tune with the flow of labour.
It was an absolute pleasure to witness this transformation from Maiden to Mother, with absolute reverence and respect.

Women are powerful. I'm forever in awe.

I never thought when I picked up my husbands camera that I'd be any good at it but turns out I'm not half bad.

I did a women's shoot yesterday with some stunning pregnant women and some mummas with their babies. It was such a joy and I got some beautiful shots. I can't wait to take some photos of Births that I attend.

Watch this space!

I said what I said. Keep them to yourself. Birth isn't always traumatic. Let's share stories of how it goes right. So many beautiful birth stories out there.

Motherhood is hard. Check in on your Mum friends. Tell a mum that she's doing a wonderful job. Having someone give you some positive feedback can be so wonderful to hear. Motherhood is all consuming.

I did a talk on this for the Postpartum Revolution hosted by the amazing and .mothercare. It's a topic that has effected me in my own postpartum experience. I know others will resonate with this.

Its still quite a taboo subject for society but I'm here to break it down and open up discussion. I love to talk about the hard things.

If you are suffering with postpartum rage, know that you aren't alone, you aren't a terrible mum. You are doing the best you can and it's often a sign that you need some more support. Who can you call upon to support you? How can you fill up your own cup? You can't pour from an empty cup boo.

We are mammals.
We have basic requirements for birth.
Warmth, darkness and privacy. Creating a feeling of security and peace is essential. Being observed will not allow the process to unfold as it should. Our hormonal matrix is reliant upon these conditions. Interruption of this process is detrimental to the birth process. Women know how to birth
We are instinctual beings. Our bodies will birth like our lungs breath. It's automatic.
How this has been forgotten and not supported in modern obstetric care is a disgrace. Too much observation and too much checking numbers creates interference and disrupts the flow.

Allowing the process to unfold without feeling the need to step in and save women is something that the system needs to understand.

I'm hearing a lot of fear being projected onto pregnant mothers.

-Horror birth stories
-GPs who fear homebirth
-Members of public sharing tales of things gone wrong.

Just STOP it! Women have enough they have to deal with during pregnancy. They do not want your fear. Keep your mouth shut and if you have something to say make damn sure it's evidence based before you open your mouth. There seems to be a fear among GPs that homebirth is dangerous. It isn't. In fact it's safer to birth at home than in hospital for low risk pregnancy. FACT.

ENOUGH WITH TRAUMATISING PREGNANT WOMEN.

Don't be surprised if you come across this in the hospital.
I am guilty of using this when I was a nurse and I regret doing it.

This happens accross all wards in all hospitals when healthcare staff want the patient to comply.

This is coercion and bullying. If they can't get the birthing woman to comply they will come for the husband or partner. Usually targeting them when they leave the room and use scare tactics such as "You surely want what's best for her and the baby, maybe you can talk some sense into her"

This is all kinds of fu**ed up.

I trust birth. I trust the whole process from start to finish. I even trust in the power of our ability to conceive consciously.
Women are capable and adaptable. We are designed to birth. We have been birthing since the beginning of time. The whole exsitance of the human species is because women birth. Only recently has it become medicalised. This is where we run into trouble. Over analysing, looking at numbers, monitoring, interventions, fear of death all indicate a mistrust of women's bodies. Sure interventions save lives but intervention itself can be dangerous.

Birth is boring. Birth is normal. Birth is powerful. Birth is beautiful.

Being with woman. Holding her. Honouring her.
Supporting her through the transition from Maiden to Mother. As she traverses the waves of labour. As she births her babe. As she nourishes that babe for the first time. Be with her. She is new and fresh. Your words last a lifetime
Be mindful.
Be aware.
Love her.

It is simple.
📷

Birth becomes us.

I am not the same woman. Birth changed me. In so many ways and forms. I emerged physically, spiritually and mentally improved after this birth. I felt powerful and strong. I know my capabilities and I feel like I can do anything, just try and stop me.

Birthing at home was the most profound experience of my life that has had this ripple effect on so many areas of my life. It has made me so strong. I felt vastly different after this birth than my first birth (hospital). Quicker recovery time, easier breastfeeding establishment, self-esteem much higher after this birth.

I did a lot of work through pregnancy, working on fears but I also had intense psychotherapy to overcome PTSD. I learnt some pretty amazing things about how the brain works and applied it when I was in labour.

I know how to cope with pain and how I react and interact with others when in pain.
I love to work with my clients through their journey to help them understand pain and how to work with it.