Dr Alla Demutska

Life can get busy, and we often prioritize everything else over our own well-being. But taking a moment to reflect on our mental, emotional, and physical states can make a big difference. Remember to check in with yourself and you can start by using this chart.

Tag someone you love whom you would like to check in with today!

Mindfulness has been my compass, guiding me towards a more fulfilling and balanced life. It's not just about reducing stress; it's about fostering awareness, resilience, and a deep sense of inner peace.

Embracing mindfulness allows you to take control of your journey and will empower you to navigate life's ups and downs with grace and clarity. Wishing you a Mindfulness Monday filled with peace and presence.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to shed light on an often overlooked aspect of our well-being. Let's break the stigma and prioritize mental health. Remember, it's okay not to be okay. Your mental health matters.

Reach out, talk, and seek support. Together, we can create a more empathetic and understanding world for everyone's mental well-being. 💚

I believe in self-discovery and growth, and I'm always exploring different modalities to offer my clients the most comprehensive and effective support possible.

Every new insight and skill I acquire enriches my ability to connect with and empower those I work with. Here's to the never-ending pursuit of knowledge and compassion in helping others on their healing journey.

Thank you to for its Positive Psychology Coach Training Program. Looking forward to more learning in the future.

Emotions can enrich our lives, but they can also overwhelm us, especially when triggered by past traumas. Recognizing and managing your emotional triggers is important to foster better well-being and relationships. Here, I've shared five steps to overcome them and live more peacefully.

Did you know that dancing is not just a fun way to stay active but also a natural mood booster? Recent research highlights its remarkable impact on mental mood and overall well-being, surpassing other exercises. Let's dance our way to happiness and meaningful connections!

https://drallademutska.com/resources/general/lets-dance-our-way-to-better-health/

Let's Dance Our Way to Better Health! – Doctor Alla Demutska Did you know that dancing is not just a fabulous way to stay active, but it also acts as a natural mood booster? According to recent research by Australian experts, dancing has been found to have a remarkable impact on our mental mood, surpassing other forms of exercise such as yoga, running, or str...

Ever feel like your thoughts are pulling you away from the present moment? Many struggle with this, attempting to control or avoid their thoughts, but often causing more suffering. What if we could unhook ourselves from these mental lines and reel back into the now?

Discover different ways to bring yourself back to the present moment. Stay open-minded and curious as you experiment to find what works best for you. Remember that these methods are tools, not rules.

Trauma responses are complex adaptive mechanisms developed during childhood as survival strategies in response to challenging or threatening environments. Recognizing and understanding these responses is crucial for fostering healing and well-being.

In this article, I have shared the four primary trauma responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, shedding light on their manifestations and providing insights into the healing process.

Navigating Trauma Responses: Understanding, Recognizing, and Healing – Doctor Alla Demutska Understanding your own trauma response mechanism enables a better understanding of when others are reacting and putting up defenses. When interacting with people, it's helpful to comprehend that someone reacting to trauma cannot reason logically or absorb new information, as they are trapped in thei...

Understanding the structure and types of social support around you can be particularly helpful in numerous situations.

Recognizing the diverse forms of social support can shed light on areas where we may have overlooked existing support or help us understand the types of support we need to develop. Remember, it's perfectly acceptable to reach out for your social support when you need assistance.

Self-reflection offers insight into our thoughts, emotions, and actions, fostering self-awareness and growth. Through examining experiences and behaviors, we identify patterns, learn from mistakes, and enact positive change. Through self-reflection, you'll discover your strengths, values, and dreams. Let's embrace growth!

Practicing mindfulness can provide a pathway to inner calm and clarity. I value mindfulness because it gently encourages me to slow down, breathe, and appreciate life's beauty. Here are a few tips to relish this well-deserved moment of stillness: Start by taking a few deep breaths before you sleep or as soon as you wake up. You can also establish a routine for yourself or go for a walk with your loved ones or alone.

I hope these small tips are helpful for you.

Ever feel like your thoughts sometimes pull you away from the present moment? But what if we could untangle ourselves from these mental lines and focus on the now? Our thoughts have incredible power—they shape our feelings, decisions, and actions. They can lift us up or bring us down. It's time to unhook ourselves from these mental lines and embrace the present moment.

Unhooking from Thoughts: A Mindful Journey to Present Living – Doctor Alla Demutska In the vast landscape of our minds, thoughts can often act as invisible hooks, pulling us away from the present moment. Much like a fish on a line, our minds can be led astray, taking us on a journey through the past, present, and future. Many people struggle with their thoughts and how they affect....

To all the incredible women making a difference every day: You are powerful, inspiring, and appreciated. Remember to prioritize your mental health every day.

Happy International Women's Day!

🧠Elevate Your Mental Well-being with Expert Guidance! 🌟

Transform your life with personalized therapy and coaching from a seasoned Clinical Psychologist! With over 12 years of diverse experience, I have empowered individuals to overcome challenges and lead fulfilling lives. 🌈

🔍 Explore the benefits of working with me:
✨ Expert in Anxiety, Depression, Self-Esteem, Panic Attacks, Relationship Difficulties, Trauma, and Stress.
✨ Utilize evidence-based interventions: CBT, ACT, DBT, Schema Therapy, EMDR, and Mindfulness.
✨ Online therapy (telehealth) and in-person sessions available.
✨ Comprehensive approach, fostering self-compassion, building inner strength, and enhancing self-awareness.

🌐 About Me:
As the Clinical Director, Counselling and Psychotherapy at The School of Positive Psychology, and an experienced clinical psychologist, I bring a wealth of knowledge and passion to my practice.

🤝 Why Choose Me?
I tailor my approach to your unique concerns, actively listen, and provide insights that lead to transformative outcomes. I adapt to your pace, ensuring a comfortable and effective therapeutic journey.

🌟 Ready for Positive Change? Book a Session Now! Link in Bio ☝️

🌍 Culturally Inclusive | Globally Experienced

Doctor Alla Demutska | I am here to guide you to create a full life by building healthy relationships with yourself and othersDr Alla Demutska, Clinical Psychologist Contact Me Today! Welcome Hi, my name is Dr Alla Demutska. Welcome! I am excited to see you here. I am a clinical psychologist and I provide online and in pe...

Please share with your network, free help in Singapore

chatgroup link (https://chat.whatsapp.com/GlEco1HLbR2JFZ0V4nfpVd)

Вот ещё очень хорошее упражнение, когда сильный стресс. Пожалуйста, поделитесь.

Вот ещё один ресурс, который может помочь вам и вашим близким. Пожалуйста, поделитесь с тем, кому может понадобиться. Сейчас люди в сильном стрессе и не знают, что делать, поэтому нужны конкретные шаги и стратегии, просто и ясно написанные.
#стресс #стрессоустойчивость #психологическаяпомощь #войнаукраина #войнаукраинароссия

Hi everyone, here are some links to organisations you can donate to support Ukrainian people.
https://novaukraine.org/
https://www.globalempowermentmission.org/
https://www.icrc.org/en/where-we-work/europe-central-asia/ukraine
https://www.unicef.org/

Please share and thank you.

Шок, грусть, страх... Вчера целый день прорыдала. Как такое возможно? Что это значит для моего народа и моей страны? Никто не может ответить на эти вопросы. Мне так больно думать о людях в Украине, видеть изображения моего города и осколки ракет на улице.

Посмотрите ресурс в карусели, и передайте друзьям и близким этот ресурс, его подготовила моя австралийская подруга психолог, очень правильно все написала. Я перевела на русский, переведу на украинский и тоже выставлю. Всем сердцем сочувствую людям в Украине.

Shock, disbelief, sadness, fear... I couldn’t stop crying the whole day yesterday. How is this possible? What does it mean for my people and my country? No one can answer these questions. I feel so much pain thinking about people back in Ukraine, seeing images of my city and bits of missiles in the streets….

Thank you Dr Amy Finlay-Jones Amy Finlay for putting this resource together.
Please share!
I will share in Russian and Ukrainian as well.

A while back PTs at my fitness club were telling me how in January the gym is usually booked out, and in February it is back to normal again. When we make New Year's resolutions, we often do not take into account reality, live in a world of illusions and fantasise about how great it will be when we achieve our goals. Such illusions are often much sweeter than reality, where you have to overcome obstacles and work hard. And when we start doing what we set in our New Years resolutions, the reality turns out to be very different from this fantasy, and many quickly give up. Others don't even start.

I recommend to my clients to work on small, realistic steps to change their lives, not major life changes that will never materialize. Of course, small goals are not as lucrative and don’t allow us to brag to our friends about them. We want something big so we can shine on Instagram. But if you have never worked out in the gym, telling yourself that from the new year you will go there three times a week is not realistic. If you are a size 48, then imagining yourself in a new size 38 dress is also a fantasy.

Of course, there are people who manage to make significant changes straight away, but they are few. You need to understand where you are starting from, where you want to go and what successive steps to take. This can be a daily 10-minute walk with a gradual increase in duration.

By setting unattainable goals, you will feel more insecure when you fail to reach them. You will begin to criticize yourself, which will reduce the motivation for change. The problem will not be your weak will and low motivation, but the fact that you have set unrealistic goals.

Daily work and efforts are important - not necessarily tied to the start of the next year. Each new day is already an occasion to orient ourselves towards how we want to live our life.
It is also important to understand that we do not like changes, and in general, change is difficult for us. We prefer the familiar to the unfamiliar, even if the unfamiliar is objectively better for us.
👉👉👉

Does the idea of “celebrating” with family make you want to run and hide?

For many of my clients, Christmas and New Year spent with their families is quite a difficult period. Old wounds from childhood come close to the surface. The way certain family members behave can hit raw nerves. I suggest to my clients to carfully plan how they spend this time with their family to minimise the level of difficulty for themselves.
I ask them - What has helped you in the past? What were the most difficult moments? What could have helped at that time?

✔️Don't expect your next celebration to be different from the previous ones. Psychologists say that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. On the one hand, this is sad, on the other, it can help you to realistically assess the situation and develop an action plan.

✔️Try not to stay alone with family members who are especially difficult for you. Figure out how to get away from them when required. Ask someone from your support network to be around these family members with you. 

✔️Think about how you can spend time safely with certain family members - maybe you can play board games or go to a movie with them instead of face to face communication.  

✔️Prepare your answers to criticisms or questions that you usually hear and find triggering. Consider your responses or actions. You can pretend that you have an urgent call and remove yourself from the conversation. You can use breathing techniques, or count to ten silently before answering. Write down your options and practice in advance.

✔️Think about how you can leave the event and prepare an excuse if it becomes especially difficult for you.

✔️Don't drink too much! A sober head will help you stay in balance, assess the situation realistically, and protect yourself more effectively.

✔️Ponder the funny side of the situation. If you were filming a tragicomedy about your family, what would you show? What are the funny moments?

✔️Remember that often you are just a decoration in someone else's story, and the attacks on you do not really reflect on you personally, but are related to this person’s own baggage.

Anger is an important emotion. Anger can lead to destruction, but it can also help us survive. For example, anger can get us ready so we can protect ourselves in threatening situations. However, often anger can serve as a cover up for more vulnerable emotions such as fear or shame. 

How does this happen? There can be many reasons for it. As a child, you may have been told not to cry and to be strong. Maybe showing your vulnerable side was not safe for you - you were ridiculed or threatened. Or your parents did not model healthy emotional expression and you have not learnt to manage vulnerable emotions such as sadness and hurt. So now, instead of feeling vulnerable, you feel anger. Often, anger comes when another vulnerable emotion is combined with assumptions and interpretations about unfairness, being unimportant, disrespected or inferences of bad intentions.  

Anger provides you with short-term relief from recognising and feeling your vulnerable feelings. Anger gives us a sense of power and righteousness, energises us, and allows us to blame others. It can be easier to feel anger than vulnerable emotions such as sadness or shame, which pe*****te deep into our soul and sometimes leave us feeling like a little child again, not able to defend ourselves, powerless and helpless. 

Why is it important to understand what is behind your anger?

Read more in the profile link 👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾

Why is it important to understand different types of social support?

There are many different situations when understanding the structure and types of social support around you can be particularly helpful. For example, if a client who is depressed comes to me and claims that they don’t have any social network at all, or vice versa, a client says that they have many friends, but still feel lonely as if something important is missing, I talk to them about four types of social support:

-Practical - when there are people around who can provide you with tangible help - move house, fix your computer or bring medication when you are sick.

-Informational - when there are people you can turn to for advice, who can inform you about a recent book or tell you about an interesting topic that makes you think.

-Emotional - you have someone to whom you can show who you really are, who accepts you and understands you and shows empathy when you need it.

-Companionship  - there are people around with whom you can go to the movies, play sports or do some other fun activities together. 

Understanding that there are different types of social support can help us to see where we may have ignored support we already have, or conversely, to understand what types of support we need to develop. You might also want to start asking for a specific type of support you feel you’re lacking. For example, research shows that in couples, emotional support is more important than informational support, so you may wish to ask your loved one to just listen instead of problem solving your difficulties for you. 

I am trained in many different therapies such as Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), mindfulness and compassion-based therapies, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT),  and use them on a regular basis. These therapies have different theoretical underpinnings and use different methods to help clients achieve well-being. Most effective therapies incorporate working with thoughts, emotions, body sensations and behaviours, both in session and between sessions.

How do I choose the way I work with a particular client? I take time to understand my clients and their concerns. I listen, ask questions, explore what is working and what is not working in their lives. I listen to their goals and what they would like to change. I listen carefully to their answers to see if I can identify unmet needs, underlying emotions, and unworkable behavioural patterns. We discuss expectations, I share my understanding of their problems and my plan on how I can help.  I also work at a pace that suits my clients and regularly check in with them on their progress. Sometimes, the solution I propose can seem counterintuitive or paradoxical. For example, I might ask my clients to engage more with a feared situation that they have been trying to avoid. I present my rationale so clients can understand my suggestions. 

My goal is to help my clients understand themselves better, be more compassionate, to build strength, be less reactive and more aware of their inner experiences and choices so that they can create a full life. Ultimately, I want my clients to not need my help anymore!

It is normal to feel anxious before your on-line session. Your psychologist should explain to you how on-line sessions will work and answer your questions to make it easier for you. These tips below can make your on-line experience more comfortable: 

✔️Make sure that you set up your Telehealth session in a quiet, private space for the duration of your appointment, without distractions (eg mobile phone, other devices, family members, pets). 

✔️Make your space as pleasant as you can - set a comfortable room temperature, have water, tissues, possibly a blanket or wrap around you.

✔️Make sure the device from which you are accessing Telehealth is fully charged or you have capacity to charge your device during the session without interruption.

✔️Check the link, camera and audio before the session. Have an alternative way of contacting your therapist (e.g. their phone number) in case you experience technical difficulties.

✔️To prevent non-participants from joining your confidential session, please do not share the link that is sent to you with anyone.

Carl Jung said “what we resist, persists”. While pain is an inevitable part of life, suffering is optional. When we resist our experiences, we increase our suffering. Pain is associated with unpleasant physical or emotional sensations, while suffering is often linked to denial, struggle, anger, and worry surrounding pain.  

How much we resist pain determines the amount we suffer. For example, not long ago I fractured my knee.
I created a lot of drama, worry,  and “doom and gloom” scenarios about my inability to stick to my normal routines, on which I rely heavily for my mental and physical health, making the whole experience much worse for the first couple of days. When I stopped resisting, all I was left with was physical pain and discomfort which was much more tolerable without the barrage of thoughts and fears. The same is true for our emotions. If I hate my anger or sadness instead of allowing it to be there and accepting it as part of being human, I bring more disturbance to my internal world. Dropping resistance and accepting discomfort and pain helps us to move away from suffering. Mindful acknowledgement of our painful experiences, without judgement or struggle, gives us the opportunity to stay open to this experience instead of shutting down, and creates space within us to breathe and accept these experiences. Your painful experience is there already - whether you want it or not - and you can’t get rid of it by pushing it away. 
I am not saying that acceptance is easy and natural for us. Often what we are required to do is the opposite of what we have been trying to do unsuccessfully. Getting rid of or avoiding something unpleasant often works in the external world - we can avoid a person we don’t like or food we do not fancy. However, this doesn't work within our internal world. You might need support and guidance to learn how to accept and proceed at your own pace.

Often, my clients come to me with the goal of stopping the negative thoughts or worries that come into their minds. It can be extremely debilitating to experience these thoughts on an ongoing basis. If I could stop them, I would. However, no one has control over the thoughts that enter their minds, even the most experienced meditators don’t have this superpower. The difference is that experienced meditators can notice when a thought has ‘hooked’ them into a daze and can shift attentional focus onto something else - for example, breath or body awareness.

I teach my clients how to:

✔️become aware of their thoughts

✔️choose whether to follow certain thoughts, giving them their full attention, or to disengage

✔️relate differently to their thoughts, looking at their thoughts rather than from their thoughts

✔️choose whether a thought is real and true, helpful or not helpful