Steve Stokes Counselling And Consulting

Some tips to get started on a Drug and Alcohol recovery.
1.Attending a detox to get clean and supporthttps://www.southpacificprivate.com.au/2. Attend Narcotics Anonymous meetings ( free- online and inperson)https://www.na.org.au/multi/meetings/
3. Book: Facing Addiction by Dr Patrick Carnes ( buy it here)https://amzn.asia/d/08KOsjiP
Videos:Understanding the cycle of addictionshttps://youtu.be/2dlg1LYdGCA?si=WYKwMJSOodcrQ_08
Good Daily Plan for Recoveryhttps://youtu.be/97opFHvAaFM?si=OFu5EEWDpUFRadF1
tools of Patrick Carnes for a good recoveryhttps://youtu.be/trGak4PleQg?si=SgyoDZ_ayopfxOCC

Family Support:Alanon 12 step family support ( meetings in person and online.https://al-anon.org.au/meetings/

The great work of Dr Sue Dr. Sue Johnson
https://youtu.be/Hy1iQ4AfuSE?si=sSR-hSTyqpfm-OSd

Affirmations plus Self Esteem -Loving Kindness:

Christopher Germer: Mindful self compassion course:

https://youtu.be/sCccKLjwCwk?si=G-ifBgKaXAo6T3T0

Lousie Hay Affirmation Meditation:
https://youtu.be/Rj-1wF3muco?si=5c7fe_ngQfvwgU8p

Kristen Neff: Mindful self compassion:
https://youtu.be/Rj-1wF3muco?si=5c7fe_ngQfvwgU8p

Loving Kindness to self meditation:
https://youtu.be/9cxtdiXBQDk?si=AJQpqAXZgPpCuBcD

Loving Kindness to self meditation – Christopher germer
https://youtu.be/mILRWPdQPKs?si=IrKCt7aoJfz3c-7l

Who I Am In Christ Scripture reading of list compiled by Dr Neil Anderson.Repeat after me.

Diet and Metabolism:

dr. Chris Palmer: Diet & Nutrition for Mental Health | Huberman Lab Podcast #99
https://youtu.be/xjEFo3a1AnI?si=BvTU47cCMdTAYre6

How to Lose Weight the Scientific Way | Intermittent Fasting | Jason Fung
https://youtu.be/6aiR1mFD7Gw?si=PgxyWZXM4OjKs_r8

The MOST Important Intermittent Fasting Basics for Beginners: MUST WATCH - Dr. Berg
https://youtu.be/1rfzjRoalWM?si=P7k5yP6G5RHmG2t_

Mental Health Issues and Metabolism:

Keto and Carnivore: Schizophrenia, Depression, Cancer | Dr. Chris Palmer | EP 422
https://youtu.be/H_z3ncVYAw8?si=_Wd_KVP3MnkgFVi4

Keto and Carnivore: Schizophrenia, Depression, Cancer | Dr. Chris Palmer | EP 422 Dr. Jordan B. Peterson speaks with author, researcher, and psychiatrist Chris Palmer. They discuss how metabolic and mental disorders might be linked, depres...

12 Step resources:

Step 3 talk by Bob d
https://youtu.be/RlOeW55A2jY?si=0uA04j-sFYC-spZ1

Russel Brand https://www.russellbrand.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/russell-brand-recovery-the-program.pdf
12 steps explained; https://youtu.be/lK083EvyiMI?si=d71hq28W3K7lzbFX
https://youtu.be/biosU3V9hnM?si=473KIrXdfA_jdQjk

Step 3 Joe and Charlie AA
https://youtu.be/uj1gmzqryyc?si=2WNqavODVhR46DtT

From surrender to spiritual awakening. Bob D and Scott L( 12 step process explained)
https://youtu.be/f_r7v3dj3V4?si=UCi9s06ZoTFqBwy7

10 POWERFUL Stories of Addiction (& Recovery) | Rich Roll Podcast
https://youtu.be/kyUF7T-qhMA?si=DQ0SZRtenc-oDekD

Patrick Carnes Interviews.

Patrick Carnes Interview ( early)
https://www.slaa.org.au/meetings/?tsml-day=any&tsml-type=M

Patrick Carnes Last lecture Series:
Part 1:
https://youtu.be/IwFc4GxtVJ0?si=VtyTDKGfM9UmQmsD
Part 2:
https://youtu.be/8asnFSsBNkY?si=x0t4poViQmTUqcVo
Part 3:
https://youtu.be/lXnCd3SDkg4?si=Zbx7Y3YI2cPMonS7
Patrick Carnes Meadows Interview:
https://youtu.be/lh_B70Ch734?si=G4YOb3VEmKAOTVfn
Patrick Carnes . Why Treatment Works. The Heros Journey
https://youtu.be/5aKPI5sl0LE?si=x7EsjE4BWd2wIr-S

Why Treatment Works In a workshop for therapists, Dr. Carnes explains the benefits of addiction treatment and the course of recovery over time. For more information about treatm...

Patrick Carnes Interviews.

Patrick Carnes Interview ( early)
https://www.slaa.org.au/meetings/?tsml-day=any&tsml-type=M

Patrick Carnes Last lecture Series:
Part 1:
https://youtu.be/IwFc4GxtVJ0?si=VtyTDKGfM9UmQmsD
Part 2:
https://youtu.be/8asnFSsBNkY?si=x0t4poViQmTUqcVo
Part 3:
https://youtu.be/lXnCd3SDkg4?si=Zbx7Y3YI2cPMonS7
Patrick Carnes Meadows Interview:
https://youtu.be/lh_B70Ch734?si=G4YOb3VEmKAOTVfn
Patrick Carnes . Why Treatment Works. The Heros Journey
https://youtu.be/5aKPI5sl0LE?si=x7EsjE4BWd2wIr-S

What a great opportunity to listen to Bare Marriage with Sheila Wray Gregoire , and her Husband Keith today in Sydney with Margaret Mowczko talking all things S*xuality and Equality. Lighthouses for a dark subject. Lobe then books and podcasts. Check it out!

This years MOvember is coming down to one big day. Sat 25th. Big breakfast, Big speakers , great themes,Movember donation only. Come in person or join in zoom from anywhere in the world from 930am AEST. John Lee Live from Austin Texas . He is talking on the journey from Hero to eldership. Finishing strong! Then Live from Colorado , Conrad Schottel, Discipleship Coordinator, speaking from the Wild at Heart headquarters on the amazing tools they have to Recover your Heart. Please pass this on to any
Man interested . Just register for catering and zoom link.

Explanation of the effects of Partner trauma from S*x Addiction

The Brain Science of Addiction and How to Manage Addiction Recovery and the Relational Impact This animation shows partners that the addict's addiction was not that she was not good enough. It teaches the couple what recovery tools are needed to maint...

The Science of S*x Addiction explained

The Brain Science of Addiction and How to Manage Addiction Recovery and the Relational Impact This animation shows partners that the addict's addiction was not that she was not good enough. It teaches the couple what recovery tools are needed to maint...

Facing the Shadow: Dr Patrick Carnes
Help them Heal: Carol Jurgenson Sheets.

Betrayal Trauma , S*x Addiction and Disclosure explained

https://youtu.be/blj15mI8_l0

Am I an Addict of not?
Assessment, Treatment and Recovery explained if we think we might be addicted to P**n or S*x https://youtu.be/LcAddo7GB2c?si=qHmfUE8ONLekWiYf

AVR Formula explained to help Partners when they are triggered.
https://youtu.be/ZiGE__piVB4

Helping Her Heal Resources:

Jake porter Stay on the Coaster
https://youtu.be/KRSl8yga_zo

trauma effects on wife
https://youtu.be/IKEbkTN-KjE

avr formula
https://youtu.be/ZiGE__piVB4
https://youtu.be/ZiGE__piVB4

triggers explained
https://youtu.be/w7PvDXfLzng

Pyramid of Intimacy explained:
https://youtu.be/zmsQDqu0FOA

Relationship Check in Resources:

Safer Check In Explained.
https://youtu.be/blj15mI8_l0

FANOS Check In ( good check in format to relieve stress daily)
https://youtu.be/vaHqjrJqWNY

Day 2 MOvember 2022 The FANOS Check in Tool Recovery tool for couples rebuilding trust and intimacy after Betrayal Trauma caused by S*x Addiction. From the Book Courageous Love by Stefanie Carnes

Interview with Jonsey on Addictions for Aussie Bikers program.https://youtu.be/dNf4ut8r_OQ?si=4Ww-taNFzCdjSieC

Good list of accountability software for addicts.

Accountability Software Pure Desire Ministries | Your Safe Place to Find Hope & Healing

PTSD Trauma Links
Dr Bessell Van Der Kolk
http://www.traumacenter.org/index.php
Bessel van der Kolk ----All Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
https://youtu.be/tnKxZqObIWk?si=QI0exsriNJx4LBPT

http://youtu.be/ymOCS5VfHZ8
http://youtu.be/SIZVJ1RrphU
http://youtu.be/N2NTADxDuhA

Peter Levine: PTSD SPECALIST Book: The Unspoken Voice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZpZvxhk8Ew

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hP2KJ3UgDI
Pat Ogden
Treatment of Trauma
https://youtu.be/0fhqFWuQq8E?si=MxpGj6IkD30etK1i

Stephen Porges Book: Polyvagal Theory
Polyvagal Theory. Fantastic to understand the Body’s reaction to Trauma
http://youtu.be/8tz146HQotY

Dan Siegel. Wheel of awareness- Grows new neuropathways.
http://youtu.be/ODlFhOKahmk
Mindsight-Dan siegel---- amazing man, worth a listen
http://youtu.be/B7kBgaZLHaA
www.dansiegel.com Go to resource section. Lots of great work.

Allan N Schore: Affect Regulation and Attachment conditions.
The most important years of our life-effects of Trauma on Childhood development
http://youtu.be/KW-S4cyEFCc’
This guy is a world leader in Trauma treatment
Dr Donald Chilton:
Great lecture on Neuroscience and addiction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2yKslvPfV4&t=2227s

Dr Gabor Maté Live in London | The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture

https://youtu.be/KqgEUjQv_oU?si=x8C8M15qe4P_RHcK

Janina Fisher:
How are Trauma Memories Stored in the Body? - Janina Fisher, PhD
https://youtu.be/sCavy1qoP2I?si=iJ4sfkRLHL8IXGaB
https://youtu.be/sCavy1qoP2I?si=iJ4sfkRLHL8IXGaB
Pete Walker; Healing Complex PTSD
https://youtu.be/JsDq-D_NBfI?si=P7F3paqNQZdumbGY
Pete Walker Fully Feeling
https://youtu.be/hFx2NEFeQew?si=TlN18KT-7wxA_8x-

Pia Mellody:
https://youtu.be/fNZIoZRWA9s?si=XNRfBwdoLtz7yxmk
Pia’s Model
https://youtu.be/9eYmPc3GCd4?si=NXo9cZLjBswwj0lM
Complex PTSD treatment
https://youtu.be/6sbYIKC7-Tw?si=tVFGsbjG_oFYQlqP

Complex-PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving Steven Stokes, Clinical Practice Consultant at South Pacific Private – Australia's leading addiction, trauma and mental health treatment centre – shares his ...

Global meetings list for S*x Addicts Anonymous.
https://saa-recovery.org/meetings/

3 Circle from SAA.
Fill Out 3 Circle Plan
Video on how to do homework:
https://youtu.be/GJ0JCGeKSzs
https://youtu.be/KLZO6s7s0Pw

MOvember 2019 3 Circles Tool for Recovering Addicts The 3 Circles is a toll of the S*x Addicts Annoyous 12 Step Program, but here I add the tones of Alexandra Katehakis , Patrick Carnes and robert Weiss to ex...

Good Recovery interview:
https://youtu.be/nnVKqQiQyTQ?si=2HDiQf0uC03SNXlN

Love addiction/ avoidance addiction explained
https://youtu.be/9IMyUhND0H0?si=fZCQnZEWDKDrKAdV

Addiction Cycle explained
https://youtu.be/2dlg1LYdGCA?si=ulnZE_2Rv0tavl-Q

Addiction, Betrayal trauma and disclosure explained.
https://youtu.be/JTlKn19B73E?si=N1qYs_-wQcJaXFeV

How to Acknowledge , Validate and Respond to our Partners when they are triggered.
https://youtu.be/c4D0A0fSjds?si=DQy77EBfhFcCGCnk

Conor Beaton interview Menswork
https://youtu.be/Ic0FZJtGdGE?si=C_zi0i4fM3sQOj0o

Daily Plan for Recovery
https://youtu.be/oaroUoTkuDY?si=-s7BFxYH45CTcWjW

South Pacific Private Model explained:
https://youtu.be/6sbYIKC7-Tw?si=SMckqZ5ORdV0M4vg
https://youtu.be/cU33PLAtSOA?si=sfzk0pf2Dp-VnQgN

The Model Of Developmental Immaturity: Understanding Developmental Trauma and Recovery In this lecture from Sydney's South Pacific Private – Australia's leading treatment center for trauma, addiction and mental health – we explore Pia Mellody's...

Here is your reminder to be kind to yourself and invitation to practice it as often as you can. 💕

The Power of Being King to Yourself 🙏🏽

• More and more research is showing that self-compassion is a key to living a h life.
• Self-compassion is a source of strength and resilience

The 3 Elements of Self-Compassion:
1️⃣ Self Kindness: we are as caring towards ourselves as we are to others
2️⃣ Recognizing Our Common Humanity: When we understand that we are not alone in our pain through a moment of connection with others and that it is a part of the shared human experience
3️⃣ Mindfulness: Being open to the reality of the present moment [yes, you are here], acknowledging our suffering without exaggerating it

Graphic created by the amazing Johnine Byrne from See Your Words 🙏🏽

😔💔 This workgroup is for you if your partner has cheated, and you're feeling overwhelmed. 🤗🤝

✅ Join our workgroup here:

seekingintegrity.com/workgroups-and-lecture-series/six-week-online-workgroup-for-betrayed-partners-level-1/

Recovery Tools
Celibacy explained in recovery
https://youtu.be/AjBFGtcAYd8
Info found Page 253 Facing the Shadow.

13 Tips to deal with Complex PTSD flashbacks by Pete Walker
https://youtu.be/elMW4oo2TIc

S*x Addiction, Betrayal Trauma and Disclosure explained .
https://youtu.be/JTlKn19B73E

What Betrayed Partners need to know about S*x Addiction and how to treat it by Michelle Mays
https://youtu.be/CrL6vefBR9E

What Betrayed Partners Should Understand About S*x Addiction and How to Treat It **SCHEDULE YOUR FREE CLARITY CALL NOW! https://michellemays.com/schedule-now/ !**Michelle discusses what betrayed partners need to know and understand about ...

Provisional Beliefs to Kick start our Recovery Journey by Patrick Carnes.
https://youtu.be/a0Lb5rUevRw

Daily Plan for Recovery in the Early Days
https://youtu.be/oaroUoTkuDY

Addictive Cycle explained:
https://youtu.be/2dlg1LYdGCA

Recovery Cycle Explained
https://youtu.be/530HHl0K3Gs

Addiction, Betrayal Trauma and Recovery Explained
https://youtu.be/nUyrpLxpgt4

Healthy S*xuality Resources
https://youtu.be/vaHqjrJqWNY

Healthy S*xuality Resources

Day 2 MOvember 2022 The FANOS Check in Tool Recovery tool for couples rebuilding trust and intimacy after Betrayal Trauma caused by S*x Addiction. From the Book Courageous Love by Stefanie Carnes

S*x Addiction Resources for Partners
Books:
Mending a Shattered Heart by Stephanie Carnes
Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
Intimate Deception by Dr Sheri Keffer
S*x Addiction-The Partners Perspective by Paula Hall.
Your S*x Addicted Spouse by Barbara Steffens

Videos:
Dr Stephanie Carnes: https://youtu.be/HBzVfJS2GUA
Dr Sheri Keffer: https://youtu.be/mrAdB9r1Epo
Barbara Steffens: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCFFz4hk3QA&t=93s
Paula Hall: https://youtu.be/H6BDg7nmakM
Vicki Tidwell Palmer: https://youtu.be/0m_3zEvwZjM
Dr Donald Hilton: P**n and the Brain
https://youtu.be/P2yKslvPfV4

Websites:
https://vickitidwellpalmer.com/
https://www.drbarbarasteffens.com/
https://www.paulahall.co.uk/
https://wendyconquest.com/about-wendy/books/
https://centerforhealthys*x.com/ (Alexandra Katehakis)
https://seekingintegrity.com/ ( Robert Weiss)
https://partnerhope.com/about/
http://www.arisecounsellingsolutions.com.au/ ( Sharalyn Drayton -Australian Betrayal Trauma Specialist)
https://www.stevestokescounsellingandconsulting.com/

Resources for s*x addiction, betrayal trauma and healing.

Video explaining Addiction, Betrayal Trauma and Disclosure explained.
https://youtu.be/LcAddo7GB2c
Disclosure and why it takes time and what is the benefits,- Michelle Mays
https://youtu.be/UcXadrzqLrg

Tools to Help our Partners Heal when they are triggered.
AVR Formula explained to help Partners when they are triggered.
https://youtu.be/ZiGE__piVB4

Helping Her Heal Resources:
Jake porter coaster
https://youtu.be/KRSl8yga_zo
trauma effects on wife
https://youtu.be/IKEbkTN-KjE
avr formula
https://youtu.be/ZiGE__piVB4
https://youtu.be/ZiGE__piVB4
triggers explained
https://youtu.be/w7PvDXfLzng

https://baremarriage.com/2023/05/are-we-shaming-teens-for-having-s*xual-feelings/

Are We Shaming Teens for Having S*xual Feelings? - Bare Marriage In fact, s*xual feelings are a normal part of life for adults too! We have s*x dreams (the content of which can sometimes be quite alarming). We can feel attraction to people. We can feel “horny”, for lack of a better word (and the word just refers to erections–which used to be called “horns...

𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐓𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐀𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞

In this episode of Overcoming Betrayal and Addiction, Dr. Rob and Tami talk to a listener who feels trapped because the aggression in s*x with her addict is getting worse and worse.

🎙️Listen podcast here:
https://s*xandrelationshiphealing.com/blog/his-s*xual-fantasies-are-out-of-control-and-its-turning-into-abuse/

✅Join our workgroup here:
https://seekingintegrity.com/workgroups-and-lecture-series/six-week-online-workgroup-for-betrayed-partners-level-1/

*xaddict *xaddiction

June Lake, Master Yallom Facilitator and trainer is offering her one-week instruction course on becoming a Yallom Facilitator. It is simply one of the best courses I have ever participated. I have attended twice over the years and been part of ongoing Yallom Groups facilitated by June. These courses have been an educational crucible that has alchemized me into the Therapist I am today. Please pass this flyer on and consider attending again if you already have. I got a lot doing it the second time around. These chances to learn under June will not be around for ever!