UBU Atlantic

You can’t stop a tornado with a tornado.

This is an announcement of the end of group meetings; and a new more appreciated role in the evolution of transgender support for Atlantic Canada.

(It’s also a letter to you all who cared, and a notice to those of you who just open your mouths when want to make noise. You know who you are, and so do we. I think it would be worth inviting you into a public forum to discuss your views and accusations. Maybe that will be my next project - Jesus do I ever love a project)

It’s been an incredible 13 years facilitating this group for the Transgender community, advocating for sustainable rights and standing against closed fist short sighted activism; being a resource, safe harbour and pathway to your true selves. What a gift, and honor.

Thank you for allowing me to do this work.

When I started UBU, it was because I needed help and couldn’t find it. So, being myself, I decided if I couldn’t find it, I’d make it - UBU was born.

Since that day many moons ago, I’ve been privileged to help myriad people along their journey to their true selves. I’ve spent countless hours in deep discussion with the young and old, the discovering and the coming-to-terms, as well as the anxious to celebrate the freedom of emancipation.

What a gift.

As the founder of UBU Atlantic, I’ve seen much progress for us all and have been lucky enough to facilitate a number of monumental initiatives for our community, including successfully advocating for provincial coverage of gender-affirming surgeries, co-founding the New Brunswick Transgender Health Network, speaking publicly about our experiences, TV interviews, Radio, Podcasts, Public forums, all as a means of education, and, in truth, laying myself bare for all to see hoping perhaps sparing others from having to face the same questions.

I like to think I’ve helped.

Now, however, I find it necessary to announce a significant shift for UBU Atlantic. While I will persist in advocating and providing support to the Transgender community, as I always have, I’ve made the decision to chnage focus from a bi-weekly support group to a more community-minded organization.

Yes, this is in light of recent events and heartbreaking attacks.
(By the way, who are you and what have you done?)

I posted a silly meme to what I thought was my personal FB page. Something people of my age would chuckle at humorously. Well, to my error, it ended up on the UBU page.

S**t, right?

Once I realized the error, I assumed my loving community would support me or even (ghasp) accept my apology, after dedicating well over a decade of my life to helping people just like them.

I was alarmed at how quickly and ferociously some of my favorite people turned nasty, cruel, and frankly into exactly what we've been fighting against for so long. Topic hoppers.

They made no effort whatsoever to communicate with me to understand what happened. Nope. It was straight for the jugular. It took no time, or obviously thought on their part.
These are the same people that I gave my time freely to for over a decade, at all times of the day and night.

After apologizing to no avail, I got pi**ed off.

‘Who are these people talking crap about ME, many of whom never ever bothered sit in on a meeting.’ I thought.

Then it struck me, I had no idea. I don't know these people.
Many in this group I’ve been toiling to help don’t give two sh*ts about me. Just what I can give, what they can get. They didn’t want or need help; they wanted a friend circle. A coffee klatch.
They wanted a place to chat with each other, hang out, and have some laughs.

Hell, I think that’s great. They should have that - deserve that even. Not on my time, though, when I’m already working 80-hour weeks. That’s not why I created the group, not what I’m good at, or what I give up my time to facilitate.

However, the evolving climate has prompted a thoughtful reevaluation of my approach to being of use to the Transgender community. And for me, it’s heavy, and here’s why:

While I’ve always valued constructive dialogue over unnecessary conflict and been cautious about divisive actions, I’m heartbroken over the previously mentioned events.
And while it was just a few hair-triggered, ill-educated soapboxer as****es looking for something to complain about, as these types often do, I stopped and asked myself, why? Why subject yourself to such nonsense and immaturity?

I’ve done a lot for our community. I don’t owe these mouhty diots anything. Let me be clear, I’m not talking about most of the people in my group; rather, it’s the rare few who ruin things for everyone. And I admit it. It broke me a bit.
Saddened me a lot and made me question what I was doing even more.

I will say this; it’s heartening to see our community passionate about defending itself but not at the expense of one another, without context or exploration. That’s just ignorant.

All I ask of you is this.
Moving forward, let’s redirect that sh*tty energy from divisiveness towards unity. In the face of challenges, let’s remember our collective strength and embrace understanding, compassion, and tolerance. Let’s build on the progress we’ve made and avoid becoming what we once fought against: the other, the ignorant, the self-righteous.

Our focus shouldn’t be simply on how we are treated, that's easy, but on how we treat others.

It wasn’t so long ago all we wanted was to be seen as equal to everyone else. Now we communicate how different we are; that’s a noticeable and troubling shift.
Don’t you think this inconsistency in our ideals warrants reflection?

When I founded UBU years ago, it was with the intention of helping people transition comfortably, confidently into society.
So much has changed. While we navigate these changes, I remain optimistic about the future. It has truly been a privilege to share this formative journey with you all, and I hope to continue making a positive impact on this incredible community, just in a different way.

Thanks to a few and more:

Thanks to you:Celeste, Katelin, Alexi, Jace, Dee!, You who’s name is always changing (lol ;p), Jodi, Angie, Aspen, Elija, Maddie!, Alexis, My favorite Ink Apprentice - you know who you are, Rebecca, CYAN and all of you who ever sat in the room. (Well most of you.)I’m never far away. Just drop me a message and I’ll be there.

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Here's the thing. That post wasn't meant for the group.
I don't apologize for it. People of my age can reflect on their pasts and see the humour in it.
Wrong for the group, absolutely. I'm sorry It got posted there. That was my mistake.

That said, after everything I've done for the community, the years of my life I've dedicated to the people who have come to me, after getting surgeries funded and shining a light on the issue constantly, I'm in awe at how fast people pull out their knives and start looking for blood.

I myself feel hurt and disappointed in those of you I've tried so hard to make feel welcome and provide a safe space.
But one thing goes wrong and you all freak out at me.
Well, I think you guys know me well enough by now to know that I'm not going allow that.

So here's where we are:

1) You guys want to leave, then with all sincerity, leave.

2) If you want to say bad things about me or UBU, again, go ahead, we've been around a long time, and helped a lot of people. You guys being pi**ed of doesn't change that.

3) I never expected those who thank me for my efforts and I've made time for would so quickly just turn and attack. I thougth we were better than that. Forgive each other. Not hang each other out to dry.

4) Perhaps I'lll just change how UBU functions. You guys can go ahead and make a new group, support each other, but be careful,, do not slip up or there will be hell to pay.

5) To those of you who took time to comment, I've never heard of half of you before, but thanks for coming out.
Shame on me? Hell no. Shame on all of you for not being loyal enough to allow people to be fallible. To be human and make mistakes. I hope you all hold yourselves and each other to the same standard.

6) Lastly, Don't send witty sharp replies about how wrong I am or how inappropriate things are. I created this group long before you came along. And UBU is my baby. It's important and human centric. There will be no replies to this.
Only know that that you who want to leave, leave. If you need a break from UBU after one mistake, that says more about all of you than it does about me.

Personally this is my free time, and UBU is what I've made it. And now it may be gone, because of quick tempered responses without questions first. I don’t deserve that and you guys know it.

You all may have just weakened your own community.
And I'll say one last thing, what you're doing, the way you're all attacking me, well that's much worse than someone making a mistake. You're attacking me on purpose. The one person who's tried to be there for you all. And to you unforgiving self righteous few who never make mistakes. Fair journey. Don't feel you need to darken our doorstep again.

Feel free to bully me about a silly error. If that's how you respond, you're not UBU people anyway. You will not be missed.

Good night, and good luck.

Yup. See you all Tonight.
6:30.
431 Main.

Two weeks from the19

I have things on my mind. Stuff to discuss. And it'll take a group for proper input. Allys welcome. Parents of kids we haven't met yet. New transgender community members. I need you all.

Is everyone onboard for tonight? Let me know if you can't make it.

Hi All. Our room was double booked tonight due to the long weekend. So group will be back in one week, or two weeks pending you're overall preference. Lemme know!

Don’t forget, meeting tonight! New location. Can’t wait to see you all.

We're back everyone. It's been a while, longer than I intended. However this time as brought clarity and vision back. It's time we get back to work. Together.

UBU
ON HIATUS
2 months to relaunch!!

Sorry last minute problem.
My car is missing.

So no group tonight

See ya’ll tonight!!

Hello everyone.
Yes meetings are still happening.
Tuesday the 7th.
See you there.

So this is where I’ve been been today and not jazzed about this amazing new pneumonia I left with.

So sorry my lovelies.

I want to hear the community’s thoughts.
Gigi Gorgeous (MTF) is going to off her hormones to see if she can’t get her partner pregnant.

I’d like as mamy thoughts on this as possible.

Meeting tonight?
Yay or nay?
Leave your vote in the comments.

See you all tonight

Hiya Gang. Sorry to do this, but I have to cancel tonight's meeting. It's been a difficult few weeks for my family, I hope you all understand.

That said, how about we make our next meeting a potluck of sorts. It doesn't have to be huge, just everyone bring something they like, anything. I think that'll be nice before Christmas. Thoughts?

Meeting Tuesday!
See you there!

Tuesday Oct 18. 6:30 to 8:00.

Hey everyone. It’s meeting night tonight, Tuesday the 18th. I want to have as many of us show up as we can fit in the place.
It’s important we take advantage of each other’s willingness to share and openness to discuss what help could loom like.

See you all there!!!!

Hey gang I was so sick Monday and Tuesday I wasn’t even able to make a post that there was no group.
Actually I only realized
I missed it on Wednesday morning and thought it was Tuesday. . My apologies. The next meeting will be two weeks from this past Tuesday sept 6.
Many apologies

See you all tonight!! Who's coming?!!!