Wild Heart Doula

If you were told this, you were lied to.

Is there a place for induction? Sure. And that place is for you to decide in your particular situation.

But when you’re making that decision you should be told ALL the things so you can make the best possible choice for you and be happy with that choice, no matter how things go.

A few points to consider...

Induced labor is almost always more painful, with less of a break between contractions to recover.

Because of that, you’re more likely to agree to medical pain relief, which can lead to heart decelerations in your baby, which can lead to surgery.

Labor induction is rarely suggested out of actual medical necessity. More often than not it’s suggested out of fear of liability or to accommodate someone’s schedule (usually not yours).

Pitocin, which is lab-manufactured, synthetic oxytocin (what your body makes naturally during labor), is NOT oxytocin. It is a drug.

If you’re induced and your body isn’t ready, you risk a “failed induction”, which means you go through all that pain for nothing. You may choose to go home and wait out spontaneous labor, but, more often than not, you’re taken to surgery.

If someone is suggesting induction based on how long you’ve been growing your baby & the potential for stillbirth, ask for the actual numbers. The risk is very small, but they won’t make you feel that way. Also ask for the risks associated with whatever interventions they’re suggesting.

Also remember that your dates could be off. Or you could just take longer to grow babies. Forcing your baby to be born before they’re ready can result in a lot of unwanted complications.

No other mammal doubts their ability to give birth.

They seek out isolation - darkness - quiet - and they let the process unfold.

It really is silly, after all, to doubt our ability to procreate when it is quite literally what keeps our species alive.

But the indoctrination is real.

From before we can remember we’re told how painful & dangerous & impossible birth is. We’re told how long aunt Sally’s labor was & how many interventions were “required” & how she almost bled to death.

And then, once we start seeing birth on TV and in the movies, it’s always portrayed as a dangerous, intensely medicalized experience with a lot of rushing around, screaming, and machines constantly beeping.

So it’s no wonder that, by the time we get to be pregnant ourselves, we have no idea what our bodies are capable of.

But the truth is, YOU WERE MADE FOR THIS.

For those of you who are about to comment that birth doesn’t always go well & that, even in undisturbed births there can be complications, of course that’s true. My informational posts are always about how the majority of cases go, not the outliers, but I don’t deny that the outliers exist. It’s a waste of your time to argue with someone who doesn’t disagree with you, so please don’t bother.

If we trusted our bodies to birth like we trust them to digest food or pump our blood or do any of the other incredible processes they do without help or even a thought, the world would be in an entirely different place.

Induction 👉 increased pain 👉 epidural 👉 non-reassuring fetal heart tones 👉 "emergency" c-section

Do you see what happened there?

That was the cascade of interventions.

It starts with something that you're told is harmless, like an induction. "It's the same as natural labor", they say. "Aren't you ready to meet your baby?!" they say. "Your baby is measuring big," they say.

So you agree.

But then the pain is too much. The contractions are right on top of each other. You can't get a break.

"If you get an epidural, you can rest," they say.

So you agree.

And you do get some rest, but then your baby's heart rate is starting to dip and not recover.

"Baby's not tolerating labor well. We think we should get them out," they say. They mean c-section. You're afraid for your baby.

So you agree.

"Thank goodness you were in the hospital," your family says. "Those doctors and nurses saved your baby."

But did they?

Maybe. But if they had left you alone, if they hadn't induced you unnecessarily, if you had gone into labor on your own and given birth how you wanted, would there have been anything to even save you from?

I hear this exact story almost daily. Some women recognize what was done to them, others don't. Either way loads of them end up with depression, anxiety, and PTSD from their birth experience, and it didn't have to be that way.

No one--exhausted, overworked mothers least of all--ought to have to associate rest with danger.

Much gratitude for this post by :
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While we are bringing to the forefront, let us also bring awareness to the standard of care being offered after a c-section. Those who have a belly birth deserve better and we need to

Some ways to make sure you are receiving proper postpartum care after a belly birth is hiring a postpartum doula, pelvic floor therapist, and lactation consultant.

Tag a postpartum doula, pelvic floor therapist, lactation consultant below for those in need! 💛

Post from .wellness

"When someone crosses the threshold that is birth, they are at their most powerful and most vulnerable. The words that surround them become their inner voice, and it is up to us, midwives or not, to be their guardians of safety. We must guard against the words that sow doubt and lavish them with words that inspire strength

In the natural course of life, communities rally around birthers and their babies. We don't make them feel guilty for the type of birth they had; we make them feel like warriors for it."—Diana Spalding, MSN CNM

Why this midwife never says 'natural birth: http://m.mother.ly/9HwsAkK

“The mark of a wild heart is living out the paradox of love in our lives. It’s the ability to be tough and tender, excited and scared, brave and afraid — all in the same moment. It’s showing up in our vulnerability and our courage, being both fierce and kind.”

~ Brené Brown
www.brenebrown.com

Art by Lucy Campbell
www.lupiart.com

I know I am not alone when I tell others how exhausted I feel these days.

The last year has been a lot, and for so many, it has required of us what we feel we do not have to give.

I've heard countless people say, "It's just too much."

It is in this context that I have seen so many emails, posts and "friendly reminders" that all of us should be practicing self-care.

For someone who is struggling, using every ounce of energy and willpower they have, just to keep the daily tasks of life and work and family on the rails, these suggestions are the furthest thing from "friendly".

They are loaded with shame, and feelings of inadequacy and isolation.

The problem as I see it, is that this "self-care" revolution has become a convenient and comfortable way for us to discharge our uncomfortable feelings around the suffering and burnout of those we do not know how to help, or are unwilling to invest the time or resources to supporting.

As employers, coworkers, neighbors, friends, leaders, and fellow-humans, there are so many examples where we see messages being sent with reminders to "practice" self-care or share a self-care victory or accomplishment.

The thing is, so many people are feeling beyond overwhelmed right now. When we continue to add to their to-do list or stand by as they struggle, and then turn around and tell these same people to practice self-care, this is not compassion and is often short-sighted and possibly even damaging. If we prescribe self-care but do not reach out to see if there are any tangible and urgent needs that are not being met, or if the person is in a state of well-being even CAPABLE of administering this type of self-resuscitation, this is both insensitive and hurtful. Instead of being a compassionate act of outreach, it instead presents as a self-serving attempt to fulfill our own needs and ego. We feel better for having preached self-care but in actuality we have likely done nothing other than add another task to the list of "shoulds" for somebody who is already unable to cope.

If we are truly looking to care for those who are feeling desperate, burned-out and alone, the first step should always be to alleviate some of the pressure and offer our time, energy and available resources to both determine and meet the unmet needs.

Once people are rested, back on their own feet and standing in their own power, then (and ONLY then) might self-care act as a powerful preventative tool for future burnout.

How was your first year as a new mum?

📷 Baby Chick
⛵ For support in your gentle parenting journey get your copy of the new Summer Issue 41 of The Natural Parent Magazine - get your free milestone journal at Aussie and NZ stockists too https://linktr.ee/TheNaturalParentMagazine ⛵

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the motherhood days we do not talk about that much We make a decision and then come across 18 ways why it’s not the right thing. So we doubt. We read. We try. We feel like we don’t measure up. We buy the coffee from the neighbor kid for the fundraiser because we feel like we need to do that but then it makes our budget tighter and we didn’t fe...

Another example of how our culture has just demonized normal infant behaviour and worked to create a culture of fear around it, here is the new term coming from doctors: "Trained Night Crier".

Folks - your baby will cry for you when they need you.
That's not only okay, it's a good sign.
Now, if that crying is excessive or inconsolible, then something else is likely wrong and you'll need to figure out what that is.

But at no point do you EVER need to worry that you've "trained" your baby to cry.

4 Eye-Opening Things Science Tells Us About Infant Sleep (Guest Post by Alice Callahan, PhD) - Janet Lansbury Respectful parenting is a learning process that requires us to keep an open mind so that we can perceive our children, ourselves, and the relationship dynamics between us with more clarity. As parents, we’ll probably always be guided by our intuitive hearts, but it can be helpful to entertain the ...

This is applicable for both children, and adults. 💕

IG image credit:

I'm a Mom Who Doesn't. You Don't Have to, Either. - Her View From Home A while ago, I told a mom friend I was hosting a sleepover. I confessed to her I rarely let my daughters have them because I always get all worked up about what the girls will do and where they’ll sleep and if, heaven help me, EVERYONE IS HAVING A GOOD TIME. “I don’t do them, either,” she to...

Making decisions in childbirth? Use your BRAIN!

This simple acronym is so useful - in fact it's brilliant for any decision making situation!
But in the birth room, it offers you a really simple, tangible, grounding technique to help you pause and get some clarity.

Unless the situation is a full scale emergency (which is very rare) there is always time for you and your birth partner to pause and consider.

Faced with a decision to make, ask yourself and / or others:

What are the Benefits?
What are the Risks?
What are the Alternatives?
What does my Intuition say?
What if we do Nothing?

These 5 key questions will bring you back to feeling in control and help inform your next step.

What Is Love? Dear Magda, As I read Educaring I get the feeling that the RIE philosophy is rather cold and impersonal. You talk of independence and autonomy for infants, but not of loving them. You emphasize the...

💕Happy Valentine’s Day 💕

Real world conversation hearts courtesy of

Australian actress Zoe Naylor explores why women’s birth experiences are diminished A new documentary from Australian actress Zoe Naylor explores why women’s birth experiences are diminished, rather than celebrated.

An identity crisis is defined as a conflict or confusion about your specific role. In parenthood, things shift quickly and overnight we’re expected to adopt a new identity. This isn’t an easy transition.⁠
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I often hear from the parents I meet with “I feel like I lost myself.” We may question why this is, but when we step back and take a look at what we were doing pre-baby vs. what we’re doing now, we can see that so much has changed.⁠
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Did you know that our occupation can be key in maintaining our identity? This includes motherhood. However, being occupied alone doesn’t provide us with a strong sense of self. We have to be doing something meaningful. I review this in the opening session of my course, Keeping Mommy in Mind where I cover how you can reconstruct your identity.

👉 To be the first to know when the doors open for Keeping Mommy in Mind, you can join the waitlist here:

https://psychedmommy.ck.page/

👉 In the meantime, you can also read my blog post "The Critical Role that Identity Plays in Motherhood" here:

https://www.psychedmommy.com/blog/motherhood-and-identity

Share with me, how do you feel your identity shifted as a mom?⁠

Life changes around pregnancy make pregnant persons and families more vulnerable to mental illness.

The negative cycle of poverty and mental illness impact on a families ’s ability to function and thrive. This may also directly affect the foetus or child, with long-lasting physical, cognitive and emotional outcomes.

Mental health care provides the necessary support to empower people to identify resources and personal capabilities. This can enhance their resilience to difficult life circumstances and support them to nurture their children optimally. Caring for mothers is a positive intervention for long-term social development.

Worldwide, as many as 1 in 5 women experience some type of perinatal mood and anxiety disorder (PMAD). Statistics vary by country, but this is a worldwide concern. PMADs include postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum obsessive compulsive disorder, postpartum bipolar, and postpartum psychosis.

Estimates are that 7 in 10 women hide or downplay their symptoms. Without understanding, support, and treatment these mental illnesses have a devastating impact on the women affected and on their partners and families.

On day let's keep the conversation about Maternal Mental Health going.

Image credit:

https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/locations/

Find Local Support and Help | Postpartum Support International (PSI) Find help in your area. PSI has more than 300 Support Coordinators in every US state and around the world.

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At least 2 years 😜 😂
📷 A Real Mom Story
⛵ For support in your gentle parenting journey get your copy of the new Summer Issue 41 of The Natural Parent Magazine - get your free milestone journal at Aussie and NZ stockists too https://linktr.ee/TheNaturalParentMagazine ⛵

Today is day.

Today, everyday, perinatal mental health needs to be a part of the conversation.

So

It must be part of the conversation

The story of your pregnancy and birth deserves to be counted. Was your birth care respectful and supportive? Or did you experience disrespect, discrimination, or mistreatment? This survey is a part of a first-ever project where community members shaped the research questions. Researchers hope this information will help improve the quality of care of Canadian birthing people. Learn more and complete the survey here: www.respcct.ca