Conrad Counselling

Now Accepting New Clients!

Find out what counselling is all about by booking your free consultation today at https://conradcounselling.com

✅Evening appointments available
✅Convenient online booking
✅Appointments available in-person or online

Naming, processing and communicating your feelings is a skill. If you were never taught how to *safely* attend to your feelings, you may find yourself experiencing symptoms of anxiety, depression, burnout and overwhelm.

Learning to identify, express and regulate your emotions is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself 💝

I have been following The White Hatter for a few years and appreciate the ways in which they promote online safety for youth. I highly recommend checking out their website and downloading this app!

We have updated our FREE app for teens – it now includes a tab with a resource guide to help teens takedown intimate images (n**es) that have been posted or distributed non-consensually online. Also included - a checklist as to what to do if being sextorted online because of an intimate image or n**e. We have now also added a new icon for a Human Trafficking Helpline, for both Canada and the USA, as well.

This FREE app has over 50 resources, under 10 specific categories, that youth and teens can connect with in a time of crisis if needed. Not only are teens downloading this free app, but so are parents, teachers, counselors, principals, and law enforcement.

This app was created because of the feedback we heard from teens stating that in a time of crisis, they didn't know where to turn to for resources if they couldn't connect with a parent or caregiver for help.

https://www.thewhitehatter.ca/mobileapp

I came across this metaphor awhile ago. If you find yourself struggling with life transitions, school stress or feelings of "not having it all figured out," please read on…

Right now you’re like a mystery seed of a tree. It’s been planted. You don’t know what it will grow into.

You want to know because you’d love to be a big oak tree, or a delicious apple tree. But you just don’t know.

You look at the ground where the seed is buried and you see nothing.

Anxiety makes you dig the seed up to constantly check on it and you compare it to the other trees you see growing around you.

Depression makes you judge the seed.

All that checking and all that judging prevents the seed from growing.

What that seed really needs in this moment is to be allowed to be a mystery.

And even though it’s unknown, it still needs water and food and sun.

It needs permission not to be figured out. It needs care, compassion & patience. It needs to remain a mystery for now.

-written by Tim Hall

Mental Health should not be solely defined by a list of functional/acceptable behaviours and emotions. Many of our so-called "maladaptive" behaviours are in fact normal responses to adverse or abnormal events. Ensuring that your therapist is trauma-informed is key for restoring dignity and learning about your specific needs for support.

If you've ever thought "mindfulness doesn't work for me" or cringed when someone suggests that you take a deep breath or meditate when you're in distress, you are not alone! Mindfulness and meditation are helpful, but somewhere along the line I think we lost the plot. This article helps to explain how mindfulness works to promote mental health. If you don't have time to read the full article, then this sums it up well:

"Meditation is not a tool to get rid of the difficult stuff. It’s a way to learn to better engage the whole of life. You can learn to feel whatever you are feeling, think whatever you are thinking, sense whatever you are sensing, remember whatever you are remembering without being dominated by your feelings, thoughts, sensations, or memories. This is hard (not hard in an effortful sense but hard in that tricky sense of staying aware and in balance) — and it’s a lifelong practice."

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/get-out-your-mind/202202/why-meditation-might-not-be-working-you?fbclid=IwAR0ACzYtmjVRzS8GUa8CN_iDDDq3RmOSLAPvicRx3cvc9d6UTu8dDmwhLq4

Why Meditation Might Not Be Working For You The rise of "fast food" meditation.

It's time to normalize crying!! This is why we cry when we feel happy, grateful, sad, stressed, angry.

Overwhelming feelings ➡️ Crying ➡️ Nervous System Regulation

Bird by bird.

A few months ago I was reading a book synopsis that described a young boy who had become overwhelmed by his school project on birds. He had taken several books out of the library eager to start his research, however, as the days went by, he became immobilized by the enormity of the task and by the amount of information that he needed to learn. So much so, that his dad found him sobbing at the kitchen table the night before it was due with books opened up all around him and a look of defeat on his face.

After the boy explained to his dad that he was overwhelmed and discouraged, his dad pulled up a chair and sat beside him. He picked up the first book, looked at his son and said, "Bird by bird buddy. Just take it bird by bird." (From the book Bird by bird ~ Anne Lamott)



This phrase has popped into my mind on occasion whenever I feel stuck or overwhelmed with a task. And it's also occurred to me that this story is reminiscent of what therapy can feel like at the beginning - when you are going through significant changes in your life internally or externally and you begin to look more objectively at the experiences that brought you to this point. This exercise can feel a lot like sitting at a table with a pile of books open with no clear plan on how, or where to start.

If this resonates with you, I encourage you to consider the message here: 

Understanding the challenges you've faced that have brought you to where you are today is an important piece of the puzzle. Moving from our past/current experiences towards a story of healing and growth requires resilience, patience, self-care, flexibility and...more patience! Taking it one boundary, goal, insight, behaviour, thought, and feeling at a time. 


Bird by Bird.

When you take a step back and look at the bigger picture and the systems that we are living in, it becomes clear that we were never intended to live in a world in which our worth is defined by our productivity.

*this photo is shared, author unknown*

A friendly reminder as you start the week:)

Negative Belief Systems are generally a bi-product of being a living and feeling person in this world. In some cases, these systems are replaced by more adaptive experiences, however often these systems take root and grow outside of our awareness, negatively impacting our experiences, relationships and self-worth. The good news is that once we are aware of these internal beliefs, we can work toward changing them.

There has been some incredible research done in the field of trauma and how it impacts us in our day-to-day lives. It does not always surface as memories or "flashbacks." More often than not, trauma can be observed in the way our nervous system perceives our environment as either safe or unsafe and mobilizes our bodies and minds toward protection. Building skills in self-awareness, curiosity and compassion make a solid foundation for sustainable healing and post-traumatic growth.

As the topic of mental health and therapy has become more mainstream, education about what to expect in therapy is limited and often confusing. Here is a simple explanation that demonstrates that therapy has many components…and I would definitely add a few more!

If you’ve come across this in your search for free or low-cost counselling support you are not alone! Having worked and volunteered in a number of community health organizations I can attest to the fact that the need for mental health services far exceeds the funding and number of staff available.

This is one of many reasons why I choose to hold a few spaces in my private practice for reduced fee counselling. If you or someone you know is unable to afford mental health services, it may be worth it to ask a counsellor in private practice whether or not they offer a sliding scale or reduced fee.

Waiting to see how long people can struggle with their before doing anything

requires doing something

Translation: "mad" means mentally ill in British English. The artist, Rubyetc, is from the UK. Please see beyond the word to understand the message. The point is clear: it seems that no one in society cares about people with mental health challenges and disabilities.

A little Q&A to start the week!
This is something that comes up a lot in conversations with people about their counselling experiences. I believe that counselling works best when it's a collaborative process between a therapist and a client - one that recognizes and honours each client's unique perspective and experiences.

With the rise in demand for mental health services, many extended benefits plans have opted to add Registered Clinical Counsellors to their list of providers. This makes counselling support much more accessible. Make sure to check your plan for updates!

Employee extended benefits plans are all different, and when it comes to coverage for mental health services, there are important distinctions. Here are some tips for determining the type of coverage you have for mental health services in B.C.

Research in attachment theory has shown us that when caregivers are unable to tune in to children's emotional and physical needs, a child's core beliefs about themselves and their value in the world develop under a constant threat of rejection and abandonment. This may lead to responses such as "people pleasing" or "over explaining" as a way to reduce the risk of rejection. Working with a therapist can help to identify these patterns, and transform the core beliefs that sustain them.

We internalize the messages we hear growing up.

Many of us have heard those dreaded words "I am disappointed in you" at some point in our childhood - probably after making a not-so-favourable choice. But the problem with that statement is that it takes a choice or a behaviour out of context and plants seeds of self-doubt and shame.

There are so many other ways to teach our kids about accountability, resiliency and growth...and it all starts with unconditional love.

Learn more about me and my counselling practice at https://conradcounselling.com

I love getting notes like this from my clients:)
*Shared with permission*

Gentle parenting doesn’t “ruin” or “spoil” children. Rather it teaches them about accountability, honesty and trust. I became a way better parent when I stopped trying so hard and worrying so much. It’s not an easy job, so reach out for support if you need to.

It’s important to note that “gentle parenting” doesn’t mean a lack of discipline. It’s possible to do both.

I spent this past weekend in a training for EMDR - an evidence based therapy that helps people re-process their trauma in order to come to a place of relief and healing. There was so much information that I am still digesting, but the facts about trauma are quite clear: It's not what you experience, but HOW you experience it that matters.