The Nurture Nest

It is not unusual for babies to do nothing but fuss and cry unless they are in moms arms. This is NORMAL!

That does not mean you are not going to hear:

"You are spoiling that baby."

"She only does that because you pick her up."

"She is obviously not around people enough."

None of this is true. You cannot spoil a baby.

Babies are learning about relationship and trust. They need us for that. "I cry, mom comes."

Babies have no ability to emotionally self-regulate. They need us to co-regulate with them. (Keep your own emotions in mind when trying to calm a baby in certain environments).

Gatherings that are overwhelming and overstimulating for most adults, are of course going to be the same for babies!

Older babies may also have a stage of playing strange. This is a normal developmental phase of building separation from parents. It makes sense that an overstimulation and overwhelming environment would enhance the playing strange. This is true even with people they already have a relationship with and not just new people.

SECOND NIGHT SYNDROME

Many new parents are quite caught off guard by night number two with their new baby!

After the first 24 hours of sleepiness and even having to "wake baby to feed," baby seems to wake up and discover that they are ravenous!

All. Night. Long. Feeding, then crying, then feeding then crying! It's easy to become concerned that maybe you're just not producing enough milk and your new baby may very well starve. Cue deep feelings of failure (which are then exacerbated because you're exhausted from the birth process and now not sleeping all night!)

It makes sense if you think about all that baby has been through - the physical exertion of birth and their bodies recovering and adjusting can make them exceptionally tired the first day. But by day two, they wake up and bit and realize that things are SO MUCH DIFFERENT than what they are used to.

They are experiencing a rumbling in their tummy that is quite disturbing. They have new textures on their skin, new noises all around, and the brightness of the lights makes them want to keep their eyes closed. The only thing they recognize is mama. The warmth of her skin makes them feel like they are safe. Home.

Another good reason babies seem to have their "days and nights" mixed up that second day is biological: Prolactin (our milk hormone) is highest when melatonin (our sleep hormone) is highest. And our milk supply is a supply and demand system.

Thus: the more your baby nurses at night, the quicker your milk supply will come in!

So mama, just be prepared. Your little one will need some extra attention on night number two!

Hold them close, lots of skin to skin, nurse as often as they desire, and don't get discouraged! You are doing exactly what you were meant to do! You're doing a great job!

Happy New Year!! 🎉

I always have the most amazing clients, and this year has been no exception. Thank-you so much for welcoming me into your homes, especially during these Covid times, and trusting me with your little ones ❤️
It’s been an absolute pleasure getting to know each and every one of you! Looking forward to 2022!

Posted • I’m not here to argue whether sleep training was the right choice for you. If you say it was, I believe you.

But for many parents, listening to their baby cry without going to help them can cause extreme stress and anxiety (or heighten already existing perinatal mood disorders).

So when we hear things like, "You just have to be strong” or "You just have to stay calm"…

it can make us feel like there is something wrong with *us* for spiralling deeper and deeper into despair as each second of our baby crying ticks by.

But in fact nature intended for us to have a physical response to our baby’s crying. We have a strong, biological drive to restore proximity and comfort them when we hear them upset.

There’s nothing wrong with us, and the problem isn’t that parents aren’t "strong" or "calm" enough. The problem is an industry that encourages us to 'go take a shower' so we don’t have to listen to what nature intended us to respond to.

An industry that weakens our parenting intuition by encouraging us to go against it.

Yes, sleep in the early years can be incredibly frustrating. And yes, the lack of support and parental leave that many new parents face is also a big part of the problem.

But the next time you think there’s something wrong with YOU for not being able to listen to your baby cry, remember this:

The mechanisms at play when we use our calm to help calm our babies - resonance behaviours and mirror neurons - they work both ways. We can experience an affective response to our child‘s distress just as they can to our calm.

This is a big part of the sleep training conversation I don’t see getting acknowledged…

I sometimes find it difficult to really explain the benefits of hiring a postpartum doula, and what I "do" as a postpartum doula. Yes there are the "tasks" I can help out with (laundry, baby care, meal prep, etc), but there are also the less tangible aspects of doula care that can make a real difference in a family's postpartum experience. I listened to this podcast the other day, and it describes one woman's postpartum doula experience so beautifully. Please have a listen if you would like to learn more about what postpartum doulas "do"!

https://newbornmothers.com/blog/ashleys-peaceful-and-calm-postpartum-story

Podcast - Episode 65 - Ashley's Peaceful and Calm Postpartum Story — Newborn Mothers You Are Here Because You Believe Birth Is About Making Mums Too. Interview with Ashley Winning

Last meal post for the week, and it’s all about supper ideas! What are your favorite quick & healthy supper meals? I love my crockpot – to me, there is nothing better than getting supper dealt with early on in the day :) This can work well with a newborn if you are “front loading” your day (ie. getting the one or two things you really want to get done that day, done in the morning, when you might have a little more energy). It is also perfectly acceptable to let people know what freezer meals you would appreciate if they are asking what you would like/need as a baby gift or how they can support you Postpartum. When I asked a friend this, she provided me with 3 recipe options, and I LOVED that, as I could pick which one I felt I would do a good job of making, plus it guaranteed that it was something she would enjoy eating!
And of course, you can always do what we do on Friday nights, and just get take-out! 😍

Today let’s talk about lunch! Warming foods are always lovely during the Postpartum period, and nothing says “warm” to me like soup! I love this 13 Bean Soup Mix – just add a few spices, some broth (bone broth for extra nourishment and healing power), any veggies/meat you’d like (totally optional, I add carrot & celery). They also have a “vegi” soup mix that is very similar, with the addition of vegetable alphabet pasta in it.
What is your favorite soup?

Drop an emoji below showing how you feel about meal planning/prep/cooking😩 Cooking is not my favorite thing – I find it stressful and time consuming, trying to come up with meals that work with the diverse taste palates of my family (1 meat lover, 1 vegetarian, 1 semi vegetarian, and 1 who only eats plain food). That being said, ensuring that YOU eat well is super important Postpartum – nutritious meals that give you energy and promote healing. A few essential nutrients are Protein, Iron (it is common to be low or deficient in iron by the time you give birth), and Vitamin C.
Today I’m going to talk about breakfast! It’s my favorite meal to prepare. From basic eggs, toast & fruit, to muffins and puddings, it’s the one meal that I don’t struggle to come up with ideas for. Take Chia Puddings for example. If you have Chia seeds, I can probably come up with some sort of yummy breakfast! The best part is, these need to sit in the fridge for a few hours (up to overnight) so they can be prepared at any time of day, and ready for you the next morning. I made this banana peanut butter one this morning (added some strawberries for extra Vitamin C), and it will be ready for my afternoon snack! 🍓🍌🥜

Virtual La Leche League Regina meeting this Wednesday, October 13th!

Did you know that low breastfeeding rates are a direct result of lack of support? And that out of the approximate 89% of women who initiate breastfeeding, only 1/3 meet their breastfeeding goals? LLL offers free breast/chest feeding information and support. The Regina chapter is currently offering monthly virtual meetings. Check out their page (www.facebook.com/lllcregina) for more info and the Google Meet link. Expectant parents welcome too!

🧠✨Co-regulation is a beautiful thing✨🧠
It’s the ability of an emotionally regulated person to pass on/ share their regulation with someone who is dis-regulated.
Healthy self-regulation is developed through many, many, many experiences of being co-regulated.
As parents, we are gifted with the power to help our babes develop healthy self-regulation by being their co-regulator while they need us so intensely as babies, toddlers and young children.
Responding, soothing, nurturing and comforting all help your love’s rapidly wiring brain to know how it feels to down-regulate in a safe and healthy manner.
How cool is that? 🧠❤️✨

Looking for stories of real people nurturing this way? Check this show out- https://www.littlesparklers.org/Pages/Category/videos-and-podcasts

Check out this awesome image to illustrate-
Original: real nasty
Adapted by: mamidientes

☀️ It’s gonna be a hot week (or two?)! Here are some general tips for surviving the hot weather with a baby:

🥵 Babies become overheated much more quickly than adults, and it can be hard to have infants outside when it’s this hot out. Even keeping cool inside can be a challenge, especially if you don’t have air-conditioning. To keep babies comfortable inside, dress your baby the way you are dressed, or in an undershirt and diaper or diaper only. A fan can help keep the room cool. Fans should never blow directly on the baby and should be out of baby’s reach. If possibly, take your baby somewhere with air-conditioning during the hottest part of the day.

🕶 Infants under 6 months of age should be kept out of direct sunlight, especially between 10am and 4pm, when the sun's rays are the strongest. If the sun cannot be avoided, cover baby in a light long sleeve top, long pants, and a hat.

💧Babies AND mothers/caretakers need special attention in hot weather to ensure that they are comfortable and well hydrated.
Your baby may need to breast or bottle feed more often to ensure they are staying hydrated. Babies under 6 months do not typically need to be given extra water, be sure to check with your doctor before doing so. Try to drink some water every time your baby feeds, to ensure you are staying hydrated as well!

🚘 Check your car seat buckles before placing baby in the seat – the metal parts can quickly heat up in the sun. While you are out of the car you can cover the car seat with a blanket to stop direct sun from shining on it.

If you are outside with baby in their bucket seat and are using some sort of cover over it to shade baby from the sun, be sure to leave the sides open for airflow. You don’t want to create a “greenhouse” effect inside the bucket seat. Check baby frequently for overheating.

**Never leave a baby or child inside a vehicle. Parking in the shade, opening the window, or running the air conditioner will not keep the temperature inside the car at a safe level**

Your baby might be too hot if he or she:
• feels hot to you (check the back of the neck and abdomen)
• is sweating
• has a heat rash (looks like tiny pink pimples surrounded by pink skin)
• looks unwell
• becomes floppy
• is irritable
• has skin that feels dry
• refuses to drink
• has fewer wet diapers than usual

Babies can be cooled down with a lukewarm (not cold) bath or wash cloths. Call the HealthLine at 811 if you are unsure of what to do or think your baby may need medical attention.

How are you planning to keep cool?!
I plan on avoiding direct sun between 10am & 4pm…I handle this heat about as well as an infant 😂

I was just telling a client about this hold! Although I’ve heard it called the “magic baby hold” or “colic hold”. Did/Does your baby enjoy being held like this?!

Tiger in the Tree position

Which I think really should be leopard in the tree as although tigers can climb trees, your more likely to find a leopard doing this!

Anyway I digress

This is a fantastic position for calming a fractious baby. Particularly in those annoying evening "witching hours". You can do all sorts of rocking and swaying, and my last baby actually preferred it if I spun round quite rapidly. (He's a thrill seeker)

You can also safely have one twin on each arm which can be good if you have two fractious babies and one adult!

Today is World Maternal Mental Health Day, and in Saskatchewan, May 5th is officially recognized as Maternal Mental Health Day. This pandemic year has been especially tough on new parents - did you know that peer support is a proven model for addressing mental health concerns? This has been a missing link for so many families, but there are resources out there!

Regina Perinatal Health Network offers free peer support to those who are experiencing or at risk of developing a Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorder. They can also help you access effective treatment options. You don’t have to suffer alone ❤️

I finally did it! I completed the Holistic Sleep Coaching course I’ve been slowly working on for weeks! So excited to be able to provide more education on biological normal infant sleep, as well as practical sleep support in a way that is sustainable for the entire family, and respectful to everyone’s needs. ❤️

I recently took an Enneagram Personality Test. My result was a strong 9. Is anyone surprised?! 😁

Sally was one of a kind. She touched the lives of so many families, and will be greatly missed 😢

It is with great sadness that we learned of the passing of Sally Elliott. Our deepest sympathies to her amazing, supportive family throughout this time.

Sally was truly one of a kind and her legendary impact was felt by so many across the community.

Her passion for supporting mother, baby and family is unmatched and unique in our city. There are so many wonderful stories being shared of her kindness, empathy and fierce support from those she met and supported over the years.

We will remember Sally for her great compassion, fiery strength and tenacity delivered with love and kindness in her intense commitment to the community and the YMCA.

While the sadness of her passing is truly difficult to bear, we are comforted by the amazing life of a very special person who made a deep and lasting impact with those who met her.

Took the kids & dog for a walk and now getting caught up on my workshops!

Diving deep into infant & child sleep this week! Joining the Holistic Sleep Revolution

I currently have availability for March & June! I will be taking some time off in the Summer, but those dates are flexible right now, so if you are looking at Postpartum Doula support during July & August, please get in touch with me ASAP!

www.thenurturenest.ca/services

What are you reading right now? I typically have multiple books on the go at once - an “actual” book, an audiobook, and an e-book 😂. I’ve been reading “Hold On to Your Kids” for months off and on - its excellent, but very technical, so I can only handle little bits at a time. The audiobooks I’m listening to are “All the Light We Cannot See” (WWII historical fiction) and “It’s OK to Go Up the Slide - Renegade Rules for Raising Confident & Creative Kids”. And the e-book I have on the go is “The Wonder Weeks”. It’s a lot, I’ll be finishing up a couple of these soon!

I’m on Instagram! I know nothing about Instagram, so bear with me!

Happy Valentine's Day! Hope your day has been filled with unconditional love ❤️

Pandemic parenting is hard. Pandemic parenting a newborn is really hard. Reach out to a new mom today ❤️

Amanda’s story...💙🙏🏼

“This year, Day, means more to me than ever. This year, I am not just posting as a helper, but as the person who needed help. This year, I became a first time mom in a looming pandemic. This year, I was diagnosed with Post Partum Anxiety.

Typically, approximately 1 in 5 women will be diagnosed with Post Partum Depression or Anxiety. Due to Covid-19, that statistic is suspected to be higher than normal. And I was one of them. My high achieving, perfectionist, type A personality, coupled with social isolation was a perfect storm brewing for me to begin having troubles. This year was hard for everyone, and while all I can do is share my own story, I hope it allows another new mom, somewhere along the way, to feel the bravery to talk real and be vulnerable about their struggles after having a baby.

The isolation was crippling some days. The fear of the pandemic was real. The worry about every little thing my baby did (or didn’t do) was real. My obsession with his health was real. My need to make sure others were okay during the pandemic was real. My need to keep telling everyone I was fine so they wouldn’t worry about me was real. The loss of some relationships was real. The grief of what I thought bringing a baby into the world would be like was real. It was all very real, and it hit me like a tidal wave.

Not every day was bad, and many were even great. The storm has been challenging but I’m becoming grateful for the opportunity to learn new things about myself. This year was a good reminder that I can do hard things. It probably took me way too long to seek out support. But eventually I did, and it’s helping. I’ve found out who and what is truly most important to me, and I’ve made space to let things go that no longer align with my values.

I want my son to grow up to be many things. Kind. Brave. Vulnerable. Fearless. And that starts by creating a world where difficult stories can be told in safe places. I want to create that safe place for him so he’ll never be afraid to talk about something difficult. And so today, I share a small part of my story, to begin role modelling to him what brave and vulnerable looks like.

So on this , strike up a conversation with your new mom friend who keeps telling you everything is “good” and “great.” Or better yet, drop off a coffee, or a meal, or a self care package on her door step. Send her a text letting her know you are thinking of her, or video chat when you can. There might not be more to her story, but if there is, that mom will know you are a safe person to talk to about it when she’s ready.

Love this!

Are you expecting a baby? Check out this new, online, Prenatal Education Series offered by the Regina Perinatal Health Network. It’s free, and starts January 7th! And there is an entire section focused on Preparing for Postpartum! 🙌

Book Online at Regina Perinatal Health Network Having a baby is the most life changing experience you will ever go through and it's something that can affect your mental health. Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders are often present during pregnancy and we want to make sure you have all the tools you need to walk away feeling empowered and above a...

Virtual packages are now listed on my website!

https://www.thenurturenest.ca/services.html

Services I am pleased to offer a variety of packages to suit your needs. All packages are customizable. Al though individual family circumstances will determine the unique needs of each family in the...

I am very excited to finally offer a virtual postpartum support package!

I had thought about offering virtual support when the pandemic first started, but had a hard time wrapping my head around what exactly I would offer - so much of what I typically do is hands-on practical support. But now that we are months into this, and I’m seeing the affect it is having on women who are pregnant or have recently given birth, I know I can be a valuable source of support even if it is exclusively virtual!

I can offer regular, ongoing support & education during those first few days, weeks, and months. Let’s problem-solve sleep and feeding challenges before they become larger issues. If you have a partner or other support person living with you, we can come up with ideas for how they can offer you the practical support that I would typically offer.

My virtual support can include video calls, phone calls, texting, and emails.

Send me a message and we can discuss how pre-planning & doula support can contribute to a more peaceful postpartum period, even during a pandemic!

I’ve been asked this question quite often lately. Is a Postpartum Doula only for people who have postpartum depression (or another perinatal mood & anxiety disorder)? And the answer is, no! The “Postpartum” in Postpartum Doula refers to the postpartum period, generally from birth to 3 months (although I have supported families throughout the entire first year). A postpartum doula is for ANYONE who has recently had a baby! Yes, I do have experience supporting moms who are dealing with a perinatal mood & anxiety disorder (PMAD), but you absolutely do not need to have a PMAD in order to hire a Postpartum Doula. Hope that clears up any confusion!

This is tomorrow! (Saturday, Nov. 21)

If you love the idea of a calm and gentle birth, but you just aren't sure how to get there...
This training is for YOU!

You are invited to join my live training class tomorrow on decoding the secrets to a better birth!

This Saturday Nov 21 at 10am Central Time.
To join simple click on this link: https://birthbliss.learnmore.io/live/

Curious what time the training is where you live?
I got you!
Atlantic Time (Halifax) - Sat 12pm
Eastern Time (New York, Toronto) Sat 11am
Central Time (Minneapolis, Winnipeg) Sat 10am
Mountain Time (Denver, Calgary) Sat 9am
Pacific Time (LosAngles, Vancouver) Sat 8am

You are not alone ❤️

90%...💔 This is why we’re here to bridge the gaps in support and education in our community so that nobody feels alone in their experience and of course, that families find the support they need to remain healthy!



Posted • Almost everyone experiences intrusive thoughts at some point in their lives.

New parents will often experience intrusive thoughts that are focused on harm coming to their babies, and of course this can be SUPER upsetting.

In this weeks episode of Beyond Postpartum, I talk with Dr. Nichole Fairbrother, who is a psychologist and researcher who has studied intrusive thoughts and postpartum OCD.

If you have ever wondered why we have these distressing thoughts, and what to do about them, this episode is for you!

You can find this weeks episode, and more, at postpartum.org/podcast or wherever you get your favourite podcasts.

And remember, if you are having distressing thoughts, you are not alone and you deserve support 💜

Posted •

"Scary thoughts (also referred to as intrusive thoughts) are negative, repetitive, and unwanted thoughts, usually focused on some type of harm or accident coming to your baby, that can come out of nowhere and hit you at any time."⁣

Karen Kleiman () Thanks motherhood understood for the awesome graphic!

This is so beautiful. We can’t always be with our little people, but we can help make the separation easier for them.

Children are not meant to be away from the people to whom they are attached - especially young children.

What does bedtime/night time mean to a child? Up to 12 hours of being away from the people they are attached to.

So how do we help children hold onto us when we are not with them? We use the attachment ritual of bridging. “Bridging involves giving the child something tangible to hold during their separation as well as focusing on the next point of connection... Instead of focusing on separation, the child is encouraged to hang on to something that represents attachment with the people who are closest to them.” Deborah MacNamara.

How do we do this in our home with a little one who has faced more separation than she can handle? With this little lovey she is holding. She takes this little lovey with her to school and to sleep (she will tell you smells like mommy). This helps her to hold on when apart. We also talk about all the things we will do the next morning. We put the focus on our next connection time - I will see you in my dreams, I look forward to our morning snuggle, I can’t wait for breakfast.

If you have a child that is struggling with separation (most children are as they cannot hold on when apart until they are much older and are attached at a deeper level than through the senses and sameness), try bridging. For very young babies, try sleeping on their sheets so they smell like you. Can you move them closer if they cannot see or hear you? For older children, try a photo of you in their room (or in their lunchbox), a lovey, a locket for the daytime. Think of ways to help them stay close to you when they cannot be close.

Remember that it is COMPLETELY NORMAL for them not to be ok with separation, COMPLETELY NORMAL for young babies and children to want you to stay with them at bedtime and parent them to sleep. They want every last bit of connection with you before they drift off to sleep. Pushing a child’s face into separation is only going to make things worse. The answer to a child who cannot hold on when apart is NOT to add more separation (sleep training, time outs, etc.), the answer is attachment. More proximity, more closeness.

An important new resource for Regina families! Check out the Regina Perinatal Health Network page for more info!

WELCOME TO THE REGINA PERINATAL HEALTH NETWORK Hello and welcome! Today is a very exciting day for Regina families! We all know that healthy communities begin well before birth and today, with the support of the South Saskatchewan Community Foundation, we are proud a...

Today! 1:30!

Good morning! I hope you can join us for our virtual PMAD support today at 1:30!
I’ve tried a few Facebook lives in our Facebook group in hopes moms could watch it and connect when they have time but today we’re going to ZOOM! I want to talk “in person”, I want to hear how your week is going, what you’re struggling with today and what you’re doing to take care of yourself this week!
To register, please send me a quick message that you’d like to join us and I’ll send the link your way. As always, you can also join us in our online Facebook group for ongoing support during the week. (Link in bio!)💜
Hope your week is going well and that you can join us at 1:30!

I recently attended (via Zoom) the Le Leche League Canada Breastfeeding Conference for Midwifes & Doulas. And was the lucky winner of 4 new books to add to my lending library! Need info on breastfeeding? I’ve got you covered!

*Silver lining of Covid-19 - I would not of had the opportunity to attend this if it hadn’t been moved online (was supposed to take place in Calgary). 💖

Online Postpartum Support Group for our community ❤️

Mothering through COVID-19 isn’t easy however, mothering through COVID-19 while suffering from a Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorder can be excruciating.💔

While navigating this situation and adjusting with my own little family over the past two weeks, I have also been honoured to connect with and support many new moms in our community who are struggling with mental health during these uncertain times.

As a survivor of PPD/ANXIETY, my heart breaks for moms going through it now during a global pandemic. I can only imagine the extra anxiety that this is causing women and with services currently prioritizing the virus, I know I want to be able to do everything I can to support our community and ensure mothers are getting the help they need.

So today, I’m happy to share that I will be starting a FREE postpartum support group on Facebook along with a weekly zoom group meeting which allows us to connect more personally. As always, private support is always available and you can contact me about booking a wellness session at anytime.

Social support, which is non clinical peer based care, is a backbone to recovery and I’m happy to offer this to our community!

New mothers are already suffering in silence and this current pandemic will only make the situation worse. If you are a new mom and are needing more support, please join us in the newly formed Facebook group.

Just remember...You deserve support. You deserve a community that understands how you’re feeling. And you deserve proper treatment so you can recover!

Is you have any questions, please DM me or send an email to [email protected] and I’m happy to help.

We’re going to get through this together and you will feel better soon. 💜

Join here:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2279665205670935/?ref=share