Shayna Sander Counselling

When I say we I mean me! New office is located at 37896 Third Avenue, downtown Squamish.

Janet Lansbury 💚

ℹ️🌿 PARENTHOOD: HOW THERAPY CAN SUPPORT YOU |

Parenthood is very often presented to us as one of two extremes: either deeply frustrating, boring and limiting; or joyful, life-affirming and wholesome. When there is an acknowledgement that the reality is somewhere in between, we may be presented with parenting “hacks” to help us achieve a balance between our own needs and those of our children.

Our friends and families come with their own experiences of being parented, and perhaps of being a parent themselves. Governments, health care systems, and even workplaces have an opinion on how we should raise our children and what we should be doing as parents.

Whether you agree with this state of affairs or not, it can be helpful to recognise that our real, individual experiences as parents are happening against this backdrop, and that prevailing outlooks and opinions — whether societal, cultural, religious, family or otherwise — can stop us from talking about or even acknowledging within ourselves, what we are really experiencing.

Read the Full Article: https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/parenthood-how-therapy-can-support-you



📷: raising yourself

🖤

Shayna Sander Counselling A pragmatic and relational approach to therapy, throuth a lens of neurobiology and attachment theory. A focus on treating anxiety, depression, complex trauma. Specializing in perinatal mental health. 🌿

The Regulated Classroom 💕

♡ If you would like to be kept in the loop on everything Synergetic Play Therapy or get resources to support you on your journey, join us here: https://linktr.ee/synergeticplaytherapy ♡

Responsive Parenting Inspirations 💕

♡ If you would like to be kept in the loop on everything Synergetic Play Therapy or get resources to support you on your journey, join us here: https://linktr.ee/synergeticplaytherapy ♡

Happy Mother’s Day 🩵

Attachment Nerd 💕

♡ If you would like to be kept in the loop on everything Synergetic Play Therapy or get resources to support you on your journey, join us here: https://linktr.ee/synergeticplaytherapy ♡

LET'S TALK ABOUT DADS, BABY! VIRTUAL WORKSHOP:
April 30 from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm

This workshop will help Dads-to-be and new Dads reflect on their expectations of fatherhood and how it compares to their reality. Topics such as parenting identity, societal myths about fatherhood, attachment, relationships and parent mental health will be explored.

*For expecting fathers or fathers of infants*

Facilitator: Dr. Rana Pishva, C. Psych., RP Psychology

REGISTER HERE:
https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/mothercraft-ottawa-earlyon-lets-talk-about-dads-baby-virtual-workshop-tickets-872890748727

Maintaining friendships or making new friends as a mom, takes skills, intention, and deliberation. The adjustment to motherhood changes us—and it makes sense that our friendships, along with our values, priorities, and other relationships, might change too. That doesn’t mean we have to leave our old friendships behind, and it doesn’t mean we can’t find ways to make new ones.

This week on The Momwell Podcast, I’m joined by Danielle Bayard Jackson, founder of Friend Forward and author of Fighting for our Friendships to discuss why friendship is vital for moms and what we can do to maintain friendships and form new connections.

See an excerpt from the podcast blog post below ⤵️

Another way to start forming connections and make friends as a mom is to implement some routine into your life.

This can be tricky with small children, but there are often little ways to do so, like going to a park at the same time every day, attending weekly story time, or visiting a coffeeshop at a designated time.

Danielle said that people are creatures of habit—and that we will likely start to see the same people out and about when we implement a routine. These people start to become familiar strangers—and it becomes easier to start to chat with them and open up conversations.

We can also turn to apps, like Bumble for Friends or Peanut, or in local social media groups, to begin connecting with new people and make mom friends.

Danielle also said not to overlook the power of “super connectors,” people in our lives who love making friends and connecting others. They are usually more than happy to bring people together and would be thrilled to help.

We are often hesitant to ask for what we need—but Danielle said that if we don’t, we’re never going to get our needs met. Sometimes we need help—even when making friends—and there’s no shame in that.

Read more or listen to Episode 221 with Danielle at momwell.com/blog

Traumatic memory is a different kind of memory to 'standard' memory. It's encoded differently and it's recalled differently. And that's why it's so hard to deal with and shift. – Carolyn Spring

💜

Are you in the thick of it with a little one?

I am a Perinatal Mental Health Professional and Registered Clinical Counsellor offering in-person counselling in Squamish and virtual services across BC.

My practice is specialized to support clients as they move through pregnancy, postpartum and early parenting.

Some of the things I often work on with clients:

• overall wellness by creating and implementing a holistic and practical plan for mental health through the perinatal period

• Prepare relationship for baby’s arrival & what to expect

• Integrating the new parent part into identity

• perinatal anxiety, depression, and mood and anxiety disorders

• healthy communication/ boundaries

• traumatic birth and processing past trauma that is interfering with the here and now

• grief and loss

I am an FNHA provider and I have some spots open for sliding scale services.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions. ✨

👇🏼

You've Got This! The Canadian Tour - Vancouver, BC https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/youve-got-this-the-canadian-tour-tickets-851064947167?aff=oddtdtcreator

Were you juggling the weight of planning your Valentine’s date this week? You’re not alone.

As a busy mom, it can feel IMPOSSIBLE to plan a date night sometimes.

To coordinate a date night you often deal with:

〰 Finding a trustworthy babysitter
〰 Getting ready while preparing everything
〰 Trying to stay awake
〰 Worrying about your kids when you’re out
〰 Battling guilt about leaving your child
〰 Making the house presentable
〰 Dealing with the exhaustion the next day from being out late
〰 Coping with the pressure to enjoy it due to all the money and effort
〰 Deciding where to go
〰 Teaching the sitter the entire routine
〰 Resentment that all the planning falls on you
〰 Expectations for physical intimacy

It’s no wonder that so many parents find themselves struggling to plan a night out.

It CAN be exhausting, but it’s also so important to carve out designated quality time with your partner.

So many of us find our relationships struggling more after having a baby.

We’re tired, sleep-deprived, and often resentful of the invisible load we’re carrying.

It can be hard to feel connected and present with your partner.

That’s why we created The Reconnect Bundle: How to move past unfairness in your relationship and build real connection

You’ll learn how to:

✔︎ Get on the same page
✔︎ Share the load of parenthood
✔︎ Better communicate with one another
✔︎ Grow closer in intimacy
✔︎ And build a meaningful bond

Head to momwell.com/reconnect or comment “RECONNECT” below for a DM with a link to learn more!

We don’t do enough to prep new moms for how hard the postpartum period can be.

We often enter motherhood expecting some big changes, but the reality can feel like a shock.

The invisible load of the postpartum period often lays the groundwork for a lifetime of invisible work.

Moms are often dealing with:

〰 Learning to care for a little human
〰 Sleep deprivation
〰 Navigating feeding
〰 The pressure to host others (and their opinions)
〰 Managing all of the follow-up appointments
〰 The pressure to “bounce back”
〰 Bleeding, hemorrhoids, tears, and incisions
〰 Researching All. The. Things.
〰 Newborn and milestone photos.
〰 Cracked ni***es and engorged b***s.
〰 Baby blues/hormone shifts
〰 Feeling pressure to do it all

(And that’s not to mention mental health concerns like PPA or PPD, which are SO much more common than we often realize.)

To top it all off, we often see other moms sharing smiling pictures and looking well-rested–and we assume that we are the only ones struggling.

I want you to know that you’re not failing, and you aren’t alone. Many moms struggle in silence during the postpartum period, not wanting to admit it or ask for help.

But you don’t have to struggle silently.

Working with a mom therapist can help!

We offer virtual therapy support for moms across Canada and the United States, serving you at every step of your journey.

Our mom therapists understand what you’re going through. They can help with:

〰 Recognizing your own needs
〰 Adjusting to motherhood
〰 Coping with birth trauma
〰 Letting go of pressure and expectations
〰 Setting boundaries
〰 Sharing the invisible load
〰 And more!

Find out if we serve your area and book a FREE 15 minute virtual consultation. Comment “THERAPY” below to receive a DM with more information or head to momwell.com/booking

Important read.

I recently went to visit a new mama with a two-week-old baby. This mama wasn't a client of mine but rather the daughter of a friend whom I offered to look in on. When I arrived with a pot of soup and some lactation slice in my bag, I found her trying to make a snack for her boisterous three-year-old whilst juggling a fussy newborn in her arms. Her husband was at work and would be till late, there was washing piled up waiting to be folded, she hadn't eaten breakfast or had a shower even though it was nearly midday.

As I took over the snack making duties and put the soup on to warm, I asked how she was getting on even though I had a fair idea just by the look in her eyes. She forced a smile as she spoke about how she was 'ok' and 'a bit tired' but I could see the tears gathering in the corner of her eyes and it broke my heart to see her try to put on a brave face, trying to cover up a situation that was far from ideal. This was a new mother who was alone, isolated, lonely, exhausted and overwhelmed and despite all of this, was still trying to pretend as though she was coping and even enjoying this time.

I also noticed that the house was full of cards and bunches of flowers ...... dead ones ......

When I mentioned all of the gifts, cards and bouquets she said 'yes, people have been so kind'.

Hmmmmmm I thought. They might have been kind, but they've also been completely thoughtless.

This new mother didn't need cards and bunches of flowers to slowly wilt and die on the mantelpiece. She needed support, she needed love, she needed another pair of hands to take the weight off her shoulders. She needed healthy food, she needed a caring touch, she needed a listening ear and she needed practical help.

I'm sorry but dead flowers don't cut it ....

The care of new mothers and parents is so woefully underappreciated and overlooked that cards and flowers rather than support and practical help have become the norm in our culture. However, as I explained to this new mama as I folded her washing and cuddled her baby so she could eat her lunch, if she had lived in India or China it would have been totally different. Historically in these cultures (and in most other indigenous cultures worldwide), there would be no snack making for the toddler or washing to fold. Instead, she would be snuggled in bed resting with her baby as others took care of her every need. She would be having a daily massage and have her belly bound for comfort. There would be delicious and nutritious meals served to her and her toddler would be amused and cared for by others giving her time to rest and recover from her birth and to fall in love and breastfeed her newborn.

The difficult truth is that the leading cause of death for new mothers after birth in most Western countries is now su***de. Let that sink in for a moment.

It is my opinion that this devastating statistic is a direct correlation to our 'bounce back' culture that doesn't honour a 'slow postpartum' but instead insists new mothers rush back into their old lives, their old jobs, their old jeans. Insta perfect. But to what cost?

How have we got it so wrong? And what can we do to reverse this damaging trajectory?

I believe that education is the key. Education about the importance of the postpartum weeks. Education about the fact that a newborn baby cannot be optimally nourished and nurtured by a mother or parent who is exhausted and depleted and whose cup is empty. Education about the value we should place on the care of new mothers and parents so that they thrive rather than just survive the weeks following birth, setting them up for a positive start to their parenting journey.

I'm determined to make this happen. I would love for you to join my Slow Postpartum revolution. Let's make the world a better place, one mother, baby and family at a time ...

With love Jojo # # #

PS: You can find out how to join my Slow Postpartum movement in the comments

The World Health Organization today launched its first-ever global guidelines that support mothers and newborns in the first six weeks after birth.

Regarding Mental Health:

Recommendation 18: Screening for postpartum depression and anxiety using a validated instrument is recommended and should be accompanied by diagnostic and management services for women who screen positive.

Recommendation 19: Psychosocial and/or psychological interventions during the antenatal and postnatal period are recommended to prevent postpartum depression and anxiety.

Recommendation 41: Psychosocial interventions to support maternal mental health should be integrated into early childhood health and development services.

Recommendation 46: Prior to discharging women and newborns after birth from the health facility to the home, health workers should assess the following criteria to improve maternal and newborn outcomes: ... the women's emotional wellbeing.

We at the CPMHC are working hard to make sure these four recommendations and more are part of Canada's reality in each and every jurisdiction.

The WHO guidelines issued have a list of 63 recommendations that governments around the world should aim for a high-quality healthcare system.

Download the report here: https://www.who.int/publications/i/item/9789240045989

😆

That little gift for parents
Our child's daytime sleep
A tiny slice of heaven
Where I can lay down in a heap
Or stare blankly at the wall
Just being me

A brief pause
From the day's chores
And mishaps
I've cried over missed naps
No, really
I have

There was a time when
He would only nap on me
Then something changed
And I was suddenly hands-free

Oh, but what to do?
Should I get all the things done?
This could be my only chance
To finally get my snack on

Tea, toast, biscuits
That staple mum diet
I'll maybe make a sandwich
Really have a riot

Quick, close the curtains
Keep the world at bay
Telly on
Feet up
Kick the toys out the way

But there's always that niggling feeling
That you'll wake up any minute
I guess that's what makes it sacred
There's a sort of thrill in it

It's been at least an hour now
I'm almost feeling sane
Oh no, I hear you stirring

Here we go again...

-------------------------
Words: Karen McMillan (Mother Truths)
Illustration: Joolsannie Art

Words taken from "Mother Truths: Poems on Early Motherhood" Available to buy worldwide: https://linktr.ee/mother_truths

When you're struggling it can be easy to think that you're a bad mom or that your children deserve better.

All that really matters is that you show up - in whatever state you're in - and be there for your children.

However, you also need to make sure that you're taking care of yourself at the same time.

😂

Never the same.

Nathan Usher