Brigid Dineen

"Maybe you could start this week with a brave heart,
Leave the failures of the past on your pillow when you wake.
Maybe you could start this week with a clean slate.
Fresh eyes,
And hope in your soul.
Maybe you could start this week by congratulating yourself on getting through,
So many weeks.
So many times.
So many wiped slates.
So many bold new beginnings.
Maybe you could start this week,
With kindness.
For yourself,
First."

-excerpt from New Beginnings by Donna Ashworth

This poem is giving me gentle fresh start for spring vibes.

You too?

Take a step that direction by joining me for RELAX & RESET, my free workshop next Friday.

👉 Comment RELAX & RESET below & I'll send you the details.

The season of social demands is upon us. 🥂

Invitations start coming at you from everywhere, and if you’re not careful, you’ll be signing up for burnout before you know it. 😫

When it comes to saying "no" without feeling guilty, much of the time, we simply don’t have the words. We don't know how to let people down gently, so we say “yes” to avoid conflict or feeling weird, and resent it later.

💜 I want better for you.
💜 I want you to feel like you’re in charge of your time & energy. Because you are.
💜 I want you to feel empowered to bow out of things you don’t want to do so that you can feel good about your schedule and your life. When we talk about balance, this is often the missing link. Saying “no” with confidence changes everything.

When we’re young, we’re taught to say “no” forcefully to strangers, or when someone is being blatantly inappropriate. But there was a serious lack of guidance around what to say to people you love or like or when it's not a blatant violation. So how do we communicate boundaries in a more chill way?

We normalize “no.”

Here are some scripts that might come in handy if you'd like to practice normalizing "no" this month.

To Social Stuff...

👑 “Thank you so much for the invitation! I won’t be able to make it this time. Thanks for thinking of me! Have a great time!”
👑 “I’d love to celebrate with you, but I’m less into crowds and more into one-on-one hangouts these days. Can the two of us meet for a drink instead?”
👑 “I’m honoured to be invited! Thank you! Unfortunately, I’m maxed out on social commitments that week. Let’s make a point of getting together in the new year once things settle down a bit.”

To Food & Drink...

👑 “I couldn’t eat another bite. Thank you, though. It was delicious.”
👑 “No, thank you.”
👑 “It looks amazing. Thank you. You go ahead, I’m good.”

To Unwanted Hugs or Physical Contact...

👑 “I’m more of a handshake kind of woman.” (extending your hand)
👑 “I’m not a hugger.” (stepping back)
👑 “This is a no hugging zone.”

These are just a few ideas, and of course, this list is by no means exhaustive. I’d love to hear from you. What's something you'd like to say "no" to this season?

When willpower isn’t enough…

Is there some change you’ve been wanting to make in your life and yet can’t seem to stick to it enough to make it happen? You are not alone. 💜

We live in a “just do it” culture that tells us that if we don’t meet our goals, it’s because we don’t want it badly enough. We rely on willpower to get us through. And that might work for some people, which is great.

But so many of us are left behind by this thinking.

What if you want something really badly, but you seem to keep sabotaging yourself? Each time you get derailed, you chalk it up to personal weakness and steel yourself up for the next try. But if nothing changes…then nothing changes.

How do we set ourselves up for success when willpower isn’t enough?
How can we make following through easier? More likely? Almost inevitable?

How about...

Environment Design:

Create an environment that supports your goals. Stock your kitchen with healthy foods, lay out your workout clothes the night before, and remove temptations that can hinder your progress. Think of minimizing friction and reducing the number of steps it takes to get into the action you want to take.

Habit Stacking:

Connect your healthy habits with existing routines. For example, if you want to meditate daily, do it right after brushing your teeth in the morning…or even while you’re brushing your teeth .

Play to your preferences & tendencies:

There are no hero cookies for doing things the hard way. You’re far better off indulging your preferences where you can in your wellness routine than you are if you try to force yourself to stick with something you don’t enjoy because you think you “should” do it. Anything that ticks a healthy habit box and brings you joy? Bonus points. Dancing for cardio, anyone?

Support:

Sometimes you just need some help. It might be time to consider working with a coach who can help you embrace change and overcome your personal challenges so that you can find your own rhythm. DM me for more info.

Ah, the freshness of starting out on a new path. Motivation is high, intentions are good, and the bar is set….unrealistically high?

Can you relate?

When things are humming along, it might be easy to reach your commitment of 10,000 steps a day or lifting weights 3 times a week or batch-cooking food twice a week so you’ve got healthy things on hand.

But what happens when you don’t get a good night’s sleep?
What happens when a brutal migraine hits?
What happens when there’s a work or family crisis?

Something’s got to give, and that’s often the plans we make that are for ourselves alone. Our wellness priorities quickly drop to the bottom of the list until things “go back to normal.”

But have you noticed?

“Normal” is actually more like this cycle where sometimes your day is your own, and with some predictability, some days simply are not. It may surprise you or seemingly come out of nowhere, but stuff inevitably happens and gets in the way.

What might it be like if you planned for real life when you were starting off on a new journey?

What if you made a commitment to yourself to let it be easy and sustainable, even in the context of real life, so that you don’t burn out or give up?

What would happen if you approached your journey with a “something is better than nothing” approach, giving yourself credit for mini workouts or short practices on days where time didn’t permit a deeper dive?

My friend, you’d be writing a new story. One where you follow through on goals that are important to you.

Enter the "minimum effective dose."

“Effective” means different things depending on what you’re going for. But when it comes to making progress with your wellbeing, a universal truth is that frequency is the most important factor. Small doses help to keep you in the groove and stop you from feeling like you’re starting all over again.

A ten minute walk at lunch, adding more veggies to one meal a day, doing 3 minutes of breathwork, or going to bed 15 minutes earlier….these kind of changes add up.

If you’re looking for help? You’re in luck. I have a few spots opening for one-on-one wellbeing coaching starting in the New Year. Message me to learn more.

It’s so easy to fall into an all-or-nothing mindset, and to feel critical of ourselves when we can’t seem to keep up with what we know is good for us, and what we truly do want to be doing.

But an all-or-nothing perfectionist mindset will not lead you to the promised land of lasting change. In fact, failing to notice our successes and dwelling on our so-called failures is a sure way to deplete our energy and keep us stuck.

Carol Dweck, PhD, tells us a tale of two mindsets: Fixed & Growth.

When you’re experiencing a fixed mindset, you may find yourself...

😳 giving up
😳 avoiding challenges
😳 feeling doomed to stay the same
😳 seeing effort as pointless
😳 feeling closed off or defensive

Have you ever been in that mindset? I think we all have at one point or another.

When you’re experiencing a growth mindset, you may find yourself...

✨ embracing challenges
✨ feeling motivated by a desire to learn
✨ persisting in the face of setbacks
✨ viewing effort as the path to mastery
feeling open and willing to learn

Of course, mindset is not static, so chances are you’ve had moments of each of these, and you may notice patterns around which one is the norm and which one shows up less often.

The good news? Mindset is a practice…so you can practice!

If, when you reflect on your self-care landscape this year, you give yourself credit for your wins, acknowledge where you didn’t meet the mark, and give yourself compassion for that along with being curious about understanding yourself and your tendencies a little better….that’s a growth mindset. You’re already there.

On the other hand, if, when you reflect on your self-care landscape this year, you dismiss the wins for being too insignificant, dwell on what didn’t work and decide that it’s a character flaw, and end up feeling a tinge of shame about your shortcomings…my friend, that’s a fixed mindset pile-on! And you deserve better.

So, where can you give yourself some credit today?
Where can you show yourself some compassion?
Where can you find a little lesson and turn it into a teeny tiny piece of your self-care strategy puzzle?

Comment below and let me know your answers to those questions. 👇

How did it get to be November already? 🍂

With the colder weather setting in at this time of year, and the new year just around the corner, I find myself slowing down. I slow down and I reflect on where I’ve been this year, where I’m headed, and what I need for my personal ecosystem to feel sustainable.

This year, I’ve noticed a need to go back to basics in my life.

Certain habits are deeply ingrained, while others have ebbed and flowed throughout the years. And I find myself wanting and needing to restore some fundamentals.

How about you?

When you reflect upon the year, how would you say your self-care is going?

✅ I get adequate sleep most nights.
✅ I participate in strength training at least 2 times per week.
✅ I engage in moderate cardiovascular activity for at least 150 minutes each week.
✅ I eat a healthy diet 80% of the time or more.
✅ I have daily/regular practice that keeps me stress-free and out of overwhelm.
✅ I am in touch with my needs and know how to get them met.

Did you run down the list going “Check, check, checkity check?”

Or are you feeling a little like how I looked on Hallowe’en when I dressed as a deer in headlights? (pic below 😂)

The truth is that most of us struggle to be consistent with foundational self-care habits from time to time. And it’s easy to forget how crucial they are to our wellbeing. Every single one of the items above contributes immensely to our physical, mental, and emotional health. I’ve heard from a lot of folks that the mental health aspect is becoming the biggest motivator to staying consistent with these things. I feel the same way.

With New Years around the corner 😱, you may have some thoughts in the back of your mind about engaging in some kind of revamp. That’s a wonderful thing! AND, sustainable change is incremental and you deserve to start feeling better now.

So, in the spirit of baby steps, your challenge - should you choose to accept it - is to choose one of the items above and take one teeny tiny step to improve it just a little this week.

💜 For example, if your sleep is lacking, could you see yourself unplugging to wind down 15 minutes earlier than usual?

💜 If you’ve been neglecting strength training, might you try adding 10 bodyweight squats and 5 countertop push-ups during your morning routine in the bathroom?

💜 If you haven’t been getting your steps in, could you commit to doing one errand on foot this week?

💜 If nutrition has been no bueno, can you add a serving of veggies to your lunch?

💜 If your de-stressing habits aren’t actually relaxing, could you take 5 slow, deep breaths and see how you feel?

💜 If your needs have generally gone out the window, could you identify one thing and follow through with it?

As a bonus, comment below, and let me know which one you’re working on, and I’ll offer some suggestions on how to set yourself up for success with it.

To your wellbeing.

TL;DR: Self-care can seem hard when you’re trying to do . Small steps have a big impact. Try one little thing today to experience the difference it makes.

This is 44! 🎉

Through life’s ups & downs & everything in between, I’m grateful for the love of family & friends, the warmth of sunshine on my face, moments of joy, and the feeling of aliveness in my heart.

Thanks for being part of my world! 💜

If you struggle to set boundaries that honour your wellbeing, it’s likely that you’ve got an underlying fear that it won’t work out.

💜 You’ll lose an opportunity or future opportunities.
💜 Someone will get mad.
💜 They won’t respect your boundary.
💜 They’ll think you’re selfish.
💜 They’ll be disappointed in you.

And I also have a sneaking suspicion that there’s been an instance or two when you were brave enough to set a boundary in your life and it worked out.

I’d love to hear about it.

When I do this work with my clients, I call it, “The Sky Did Not Fall.” (Does anyone else remember Chicken Little? 🐥)

I mean, you’ve likely got some horror stories that are fuelling your fears. Hesitation often comes from lived experience, and is totally understandable.

AND…you probably also have examples of things working out. Our minds prefer to warn us of impending danger though, so it can take some intentional thought to remember the times things went well.

When did you set one and it worked out better than you thought?

Let me know in the comments. 👇

PS - there's still time to join EMBODIED BOUNDARIES FOR ENTREPRENEURS, my free series to help you get clear, confident and courageous about your boundaries. Because your needs matter.

www.brigiddineen.com/embodied-boundaries or link in bio

💜👑THREE CRUCIAL SKILLS FOR BEAUTIFUL BOUNDARIES👑💜

✨Self-Awareness
✨Self-Regulation
✨Mindful Communication

Beautiful boundaries don’t happen by accident. Setting boundaries that honour your limits require certain skills. And that’s great news, because it means you can learn how.

Let's break these down...

Self-Awareness:

First, you’ve gotta get clear on the boundaries you want to set, and where that’s not happening. You can get started by asking yourself, “If everyone would understand and be on board, I would set the following boundaries…” and see what comes up.

Self-Regulation:

Second, you’ve gotta get skillful about dealing with the waves that come when you’re a human being with old patterns of reactivity and spicy feelings about taking chances and doing things differently. Our beliefs & feelings get in the way of our boundaries and we become reactive. When we’re reactive, we don’t communicate as well, and we also tend to jump to conclusions. So if you can learn to be with the discomfort that arises when you consider setting and upholding your boundaries rather than going into a tailspin, you’ll free yourself from past habits and make room for new possibilities.

Mindful Communication:

Of course, setting and upholding boundaries involves communication. We’ve got to state the boundary in the first place and address it when it gets ignored or violated. When you have confidence in what to say and how to say it, it gets easier to speak up for yourself and advocate for your boundaries.

Which one comes most easily to you?
Which one is the hardest?
Let me know in the comments. 👇

If you'd like to brush up on these, check out my upcoming freebie, EMBODIED BOUNDARIES FOR ENTREPRENEURS, coming up on from September 11-15.

www.brigiddineen.com/embodied-boundaries or link in bio

💜👑 THE HIDDEN COSTS OF SOFT BOUNDARIES 👑💜

TIME:

Precious hours of your finite availability vanish when you reluctantly agree to take things on.

ENERGY:

All energy is not equal. Doing something you’d rather not do is extremely depleting and leaves even less for the things that matter most.

MONEY:

Soft boundaries often result in doing more work without more pay, creating a cycle of over-giving and creating the expectation that scope creep is ok, or the team can rely on you to work on the weekend. It can be really revealing to do the math on this one.

PEACE OF MIND:

If you say “yes” when you’d rather say “no,” that’s likely not the end of the conversation. An inner tug-of-war plays out between your Inner Critic and People Pleaser leaving you conflicted.

If you struggle with soft boundaries (the kind that lead you to give more than you’ve got), what else is it costing you?

Let me know in the comments below. 👇

Join me for EMBODIED BOUNDARIES FOR ENTREPRENEURS, Sept 11-15.

www.brigiddineen.com/embodied-boundaries or link in bio

Where do you feel hardest hit when your boundaries get fuzzy? Drop the emoji beside the one that resonates with you in the comments.

When I don’t uphold my preferred boundaries, it costs me:

⏰ Time
🔥 Energy
✨ Wellbeing
💰 Money
💜 Peace of mind
💯 All of the above
🤷🏻‍♀️Something else

Most entrepreneurs are drawn to the life because of the freedom they anticipate it will bring.

But sometimes? Boundaries are HARD. Maybe even harder than when you weren't your own boss.

If you're an entrepreneur who struggles to set boundaries that work for you, here are 5 reasons it might be happening.

#1: Fear of missing out

Of course you have a strong drive to seize opportunities and make your businesses successful. And...this fear of missing out can make it difficult to set healthy boundaries and ultimately lead to burnout.

#2: Desire to Please Others

Do you have a strong desire to please your clients, customers, or team members? You may fear disappointing others or being seen as uncooperative, leading you to sacrifice your own needs.

#3: Fear of Conflict

Setting boundaries often requires assertiveness and the ability to handle conflict. If you have a hard time tolerating other people's feelings, you might find yourself sacrificing your boundaries to keep the peace.

#4: Perceived Pressure to Always Be Available

In entrepreneurship, the stakes are high, so you might find yourself falling in to the mindset that you've always got to be available.

#5: Identity Tied to Work

Do you know where your business ends and you begin? If the line gets blurred, you're not alone. Perhaps your business is your baby, and it's the vehicle to express your passions and fulfill your purpose, so yeah, it can be hard. But my love, there is a "you" beyond your business, and your needs matter.

If you feel any of these, and if they're burning you out, you won't want to miss Embodied Boundaries for Entrepreneurs. It's my free series coming up in September.

www.brigiddineen.com/embodied-boundaries

“Each one of us is alone in the world. It takes great courage to meet the full force of your aloneness. Most of the activity in society is subconsciously designed to quell the voice crying in the wilderness within you. The mystic Thomas a Kempis said that when you go out into the world, you return having lost some of yourself. Until you learn to inhabit your aloneness, the lonely distraction and noise of society will seduce you into false belonging, with which you will only become empty and weary. When you face your aloneness, something begins to happen. Gradually, the sense of bleakness changes into a sense of true belonging. This is a slow and open-ended transition but it is utterly vital in order to come into rhythm with your own individuality. In a sense this is the endless task of finding your true home within your life. It is not narcissistic, for as soon as you rest in the house of your own heart, doors and windows begin to open outwards to the world. No longer on the run from your aloneness, your connections with others become real and creative. You no longer need to covertly scrape affirmation from others or from projects outside yourself. This is slow work; it takes years to bring your mind home.”

-John O'Donohue

This quote hit me right in the feels today.

Just under 3 years ago....

💜All of a sudden, the city stopped.
💜All of a sudden, it was quiet.
Although I also felt a lot of fear...
💜All of a sudden, it became much easier to inhabit mySELF.

Now that the city is humming again (albeit not at the same velocity as before), I rely on certain practices to help me drop beneath the noise on a daily basis so that I can start from HERE. I begin in my own heart. I bring my SELF to my pursuits.

Sometimes the hum of the world drowns us out.
Sometimes it feels like the ground falls away from beneath our feet.
We get swept up, caught up, burnt out.

In those moments, our work lies in coming home to ourselves.

“...as soon as you rest in the house of your own heart, doors and windows begin to open outwards to the world.”

I think it's time. My free workshop on Friday morning, EMBODY YOUR VALUES, is a great place to start.

I'll pop the link in the comments to join. ✨

💜👑 MY 2023 WISH FOR YOU 👑💜

As a recovering perfectionist, I often pressure myself to know all the answers. I mean, I should have it all figured out by now, shouldn’t I?

Do you ever feel that way? Does the voice in your head ever criticize you for not having everything figured out, nailed down, or tied up in a bow?

A few years back, I worked with a writing coach for a bit, and she taught me an approach to writing that turns out to be an invaluable approach to life.

Don’t worry about needing to know the answers. Ask the big questions.

Here’s the thing. When we start with the questions, we open up to curiosity. There’s a flexibility in our minds and hearts that leaves room for what’s possible as well as for the unknown. (If you’re into personal development, you might recognize that this concept serves a dose of growth mindset as it helps us to unhook from rigid thinking.)

So, rather than coming to you this January purporting to have all the answers, today, I come with questions. I wonder if you might be pondering them too.

What really matters?
How can I make room for what matters?
How can I return to what matters when I get thrown off course?

Whether we realize it or not, most of the time, we don’t need to "figure out" what matters.

It’s about remembering. Or simply noticing.

The signs are there. The glimmers and shimmers of what lights you up or lands right in your heart are calling you. Sometimes in subtle ways, other times like a flashing neon sign. Maybe you notice them, or perhaps the noise of daily life drowns them out or makes them difficult to see.

Do you remember? What matters to you? How has it been calling you?

I think with the dawning of a new year, we can often jump a few too many steps ahead as we formulate plans and choose goals. Many folks set resolutions based on social expectations, feelings of obligation, or in an attempt to satisfy their Inner Critic once and for all.

I think there’s a better way. I think it’s time to drop beneath the noise of what everyone else expects, what might look good on paper, or who the perfectionist in you wants you to be.

So, here’s my wish for you for 2023.

👑 May you come home to yourSELF.
👑 May you create space for yourSELF.
👑 May your life be an expression of your true SELF.

If this resonates with you, you might be interested in my free upcoming workshop, Embody Your Values. I’ll be going deeper into what these three wishes mean and how to make them come true. Then, I’ll share a powerful embodiment practice to help you tap into your presence and power so you can lead your life from the heart, guided by your values.

Will you join me?

I'll pop the link to join in the comments.

💜👑 BEFORE & AFTER 👑💜

Before boundaries, I would have stayed home.
Before boundaries, I would have ended up with someone who wanted me to stay small.
Before boundaries, I would have missed out on adventure.
Before boundaries, I would have missed out on my own vitality.

With boundaries I step into my fullness.
With boundaries, I honour my desires.
With boundaries, I follow my path.
With boundaries, I am ME.

Where will you create space for yourSELF next?

If you’re accustomed to putting yourself last, saying “yes” when you’d rather say “no,” and generally being a people pleaser, the very notion of setting better boundaries might induce panic.

I mean, it sounds like a recipe for conflict, doesn’t it? When you imagine yourself starting to set boundaries, you might see yourself sheepishly communicating your preference without making eye contact and maybe even wincing in anticipation of the backlash you’re expecting to receive. You might imagine carefully-balanced relationship dynamics being thrown completely off-kilter. Will it be too hard? Will my relationships be ruined? Is it even worth it?

Allow me to paint you a picture of what’s possible. Because the truth is that with better boundaries, a brighter future awaits.

Recently, I took some time to reflect on the summer that had just passed. It was a really fulfilling one for me. I had my fair share of challenges throughout it, but overall, it was pretty great.

Most notably, I took up the sport of sprint canoe. It’s a pretty full-on sport, with practices multiple times a week and long summer Saturdays, and sometimes full weekends, away for races. The whole experience was really fulfilling for me in ways I can only begin to describe.

So, there I was reflecting and feeling all that fulfillment. Then I turned to my husband and I said, “So did you miss me all those evenings and mornings I was out paddling?”

“Of course I did,” he said. “Mainly on Thursdays because I was used to our ritual of sitting on the balcony together in the evenings listening to music. But mainly, I’m so happy that you found something you love so much. It’s really great to see you doing your thing.”

To many, this might seem like a perfectly natural interaction. Nothing notable here. But for me, it was exceptional.

It was a clear sign that when it comes to boundaries, I’ve come a long way, baby.

Read the rest over on my blog. I'll pop the link in the comments.

Today's the last day to get your early bird ticket!

ENVISION YOUR BRIGHT FUTURE: Set Your Intentions for a Fulfilling Fall is right around the corner.

Join me for this inspiring workshop where we'll:

✨Move a little to shake up our energy.
✨Settle in for a guided visualization of your Bright Future so your intuition can shine its wisdom on your true desires.
✨Interpret your vision and choose some specific goals to pursue in the coming months.

Then, I'll share my framework to help you build and maintain momentum in your inspired action so that you can see it all the way through.

After all, consistency is the key to success. 👑

It's time to drop beneath the noise & obligations of day to day life to get clear on what you really want to create for yourself in the coming months.

Register today: link in bio or https://bit.ly/intentionalfall

I’ve got a ticket with your name on it. 👑

ENVISION YOUR BRIGHT FUTURE: Set Your Intentions for a Fulfilling Fall is coming on September 13th.

Will I see you there?

Early bird tix on sale until Tuesday.

Link in bio or https://bit.ly/intentionalfall

WHY I INCLUDE MOVEMENT IN MY GOAL-SETTING SESSIONS:

When you’re feeling stuck, you’ve got to shake things up….literally.

Stagnant energy leads to stagnant thinking, which is not where dreams are born.

When we move, we literally shake off the heaviness that’s been depleting us. We release the tension that’s been holding us up. We give ourselves the momentary feeling of freedom & possibility so that our minds can follow suit.

Ready to get unstuck and reimagine your vision for your life?

Join me on September 13. Link in bio or https://bit.ly/intentionalfall

Does your inner critic set your goals?

Mine used to. It’s no wonder it didn’t work.

My “goals” were really a long list of “shoulds” that outlined the various ways in which I was supposed to be getting my s**t together. My motivation lasted as long as my inner critic stayed on her high horse.

Inevitably, something (aka life) would happen, and the wind would get knocked out of my sails. I’d find myself at square one, starting all over again, with even more ammunition for judging myself harshly.

There is a better way.

If you’re ready to give yourself space to dream about what’s possible, beyond the “shoulds” and “buts” and “I could nevers,” this workshop is for you.

Shake off your obligations and give yourself the freedom of a blank page. Fill it with what lights you up and makes you come alive. Connect to an inner motivation that honours your wholeness and stands for the full expression of your soul.

Less criticizing, more creating.
Less shoulding, more dreaming.
Less “as if,” more “what if.”

It’s time to come home to yourSELF and reconnect with your vision.

Join me on September 13th for Envision Your Bright Future, and together we’ll set our intentions for a fulfilling fall.

Link in bio or https://bit.ly/intentionalfall