Tiger Cub Therapy

Dysfunctional patterns exist in all types of families and cultures. Which of these behaviours resonate with your upbringing? It could be time to question the norms that you grew up with as well as the values that you may have inherited. Autonomy and freedom of choice may not always be options within traditional Asian families. In most these cases, we learn to upkeep adaptive healthy boundaries in order to live as our authentic selves.

TIPPs to help you calm and soothe yourself or someone you care about.

If Banana could help, Banana will help. This image helps you get to know CBT from skin deep to skin on top!

We are an accumulation of experiences that aren’t simply represented based on how we may appear to others, especially on Social Media. Sometimes we can lose our sense of self and our needs to heal if our drive for keeping up appearances keeps us too distracted from the version of us that’s inside. Others may judge a book by its cover and it’s possible that you may judge your own cover too. Self discovery can be a journey to get back to your authentic self, so that the people that matter around you can also get to know your true self and support your dreams of growth over a lifetime.

Get to know where you are in this circle, so that you can get to know yourself on a deeper level. Understanding and working with attachment styles can help create and foster more awareness in ourselves and in all of our interpersonal relationships.

In traditional Asian homes, children sometimes take on roles that require their early independence or caregiving for their parents and siblings. Parents in these families could be less emotionally available, have less capacity due to work, stress, or mental health, or are unable to fulfill their duties to care for the child and regulate themselves. Not only is this intergenerational, it is also a cultural norm in Asia. This is a tradition based on family social hierarchy and filial piety, which creates pressures for the child to conform to cultural norms of tradition. What isn’t talked about enough is how mental health can be impacted from this experience. Adult children are more likely to develop issues of depression, emotional compartmentalization, dissociation, people pleasing, lack of healthy boundaries, and anxiety.

Take it one step at a time. Harmony might not be an easy task for many of us when we are with our families. Follow this workflow and seek out these solutions for your peace of mind this holiday season. Save this map!

There are people out there, who would say things like “you can’t blame your parents for everything” or “so what if you had a tough time growing up, it’s over now, move on.” According to Science (yes, proven by numerous studies globally), the brain is developing from infancy to about age 25, and facing trauma literally rewires your brain for negative core beliefs, conflict/communication style, attachment style, and emotional patterns. So, the family you were raised in has so much to do with who you are.

Tiger Cub Therapy isn’t about blaming parents. It’s about making sense of who we are, making sense of why we are this way, and the choosing of change in our lives so that we can get out of the patterns that have hurt us and taken us further from our hopes and dreams.

Emotional suppression is a pattern where we put away our emotions that trouble us, such as anger, sadness, hopelessness, frustration, jealousy, and more. Negative internal experiences are framed as scary, out of control, shameful, and unacceptable, so we compartmentalize these feelings into our mind and body. This creates the basis of anxiety and depression, where emotions are trapped and we stop listening to our gut feelings, ignoring the important messages that our emotions carry. This can lead to digestive issues, chest and shoulder tension (other chronic pains), migraines, sleep disturbances and insomnia, addictive behaviours and more.

Have you experienced these signs of childhood trauma? As humans, we grow to become versions of ourselves carved by the lived experiences of our past. When the past pain is brought on by those who should love, accept and care for us, we carry this pattern of suffering into our adulthood.

Have you been dreading spending the holidays with difficult family members? Sometimes our obligations leave us feeling drained before it even starts. This is anticipatory stress and we can learn ways to cope by easing our thoughts and emotions in therapy!

養精蓄銳系畢業

Threats make us feel unsafe, but the follow through of threats will create anxious fearfulness, distance, and teach us lessons that need to be unlearned. Threats at home can follow you into intimate relationships, where a partner uses threat to force their way.

A lesson in life and death.

So much fear of failure and feelings of insufficiency were instilled in us during our schooling years...how do these feelings show up in your relationship and work life?

Help.. I'm having flashbacks 😭😭😭😭😭

My inner critic sure is loud today..

Grief comes with all kinds of loss - not only the death of a loved one. You could be going through grief when you lose your job, go through a break up, or when your best friend moves to another city.

Sorry, sorry, sorry (stop saying sorry) damnit sorry..

14 Signs You Grew Up With A Toxic Parent & Didn't Know It Growing up with a toxic parent isn't always obvious. Certain traits that come out in adulthood can be signs that your parents were toxic as a kid.

When you learn about and connect the life of your parents and grandparents, patterns will come to light to deepen your self understanding. You have the power and choice as an adult to courageously foster the curiosity to seek this knowledge without judgment.

My generation grew up different.

What are boundaries?

boundary

http://squarmies.shop/

Living based on expectations of other's can add to our stresses and make us feel like their needs are more important than our own, including our goals, hopes, and dreams. Feelings of unworthiness, insufficiency, and failure can arise, especially if we are more compassionate and kind to others than ourselves. Take a second to think about how you would kindly speak to a friend or young child if they are struggling. Notice your empathetic, calm, and considerate verbiage. Now, take a second to think about how you usually talk to yourself when you're balancing what you want vs. someone else. For instance, it could be about what you're going to study in university; or how you are raising your kids; or what you do for work. It could be as simple as picking where to eat dinner. Who is heard? Who is recognized? Who receives kindness? Tiger Cub Anon, age 20, said, "I feel like a failure when my parents praise my cousin’s accomplishments and ask me when I’ll get there. She’s in med school and struggles with social anxiety, but they don’t see it." The pressure from our parents can be hard to ignore without being disrespectful, but we need to find space for ourselves to be heard and seen, and recognize our own wants and needs.

To begin the journey of feeling less pressure within ourselves and from others, we can try to first identify what we want for ourselves and what we want to do with our lives. Exploring our own interests of what we might want to pursue will then give us ideas on how to put ourselves first. It will relieve that pressure we feel from trying to uphold other people's goals. By relieving that outside pressure, we are then able to relieve that pressure within us, too.

Putting yourself first before others and their opinions takes practice, but you can do it. Like and follow us for more advice and support on how to navigate healing as . We're here to help!

Parental cruelty (and absenteeism) affect their children's ability to recognize hurtful love. If you've chosen verbally or physically violent partners who do not manage how they express their anger, disappointment, or frustrations, you are not alone.

Unloved Daughters and the Struggle to Recognize Cruelty Recognition often needs to be sparked by a third party.

As a tiger cub growing up in a criticism-centric household, I grew up as a perfectionist always looking at how I could do better and where I can improve things. I'm always looking at mistakes, and what I could have done to do something better. I talk negatively to myself when things aren't perfect or go as planned. I grew up with this seemingly constant criticism going around in my head because its also how my parents spoke to me. I would hear criticisms and picture my parents pointing out the things they would change about me, including my life choices. I replay things and feel so insufficient at times. I'm now on my own healing journey and try to practice self-compassion when my negative inner voice comes up. I talk to her kindly and gently. I witness her emotions and sit in that discomfort until she feels felt, heard, and seen. I work on trying to be less of a people-pleaser, and work towards meeting my own needs and expectations before others. Do you relate to this?
As an adult and capable of seeing things differently, I know now that nothing and no one is perfect. I am a recovering perfectionist, who is learning to choose to be considerate of myself and my own feelings first. It's taking lots of unlearning, but this journey has been life changing. I have never felt less depressed. Much of my feelings of insufficiency are getting reprocessed with kinder words and understanding towards myself. I've started to make new life choices that move me closer to the life I want and the person I want to become. If we explore giving ourselves the grace to live by in our own standards and what feels right to us as individuals, then we will be able to find the patience and words to respond to the critical voice in our heads. That voice wasn't the authentic me. I'm just finding myself now, everyday.

This takes a lot of work and practice, but any effort to strive for being less perfect and more ourselves should be celebrated. Like and follow us for more advice and support on how to navigate healing as . We're here to help!