Hampshire Driving Rants

Absolutely 100%!

Matt Prior: the rise of distracting in-car screens must be stopped | Autocar Our man is fed up with having to take his eyes off of the road to use essential in-car functions

When your insurer tells you there's a £47.80 cancellation fee on a policy that cost less than £85 & has been running less than 5 months...

Daily Echo: New plans unveiled for major upgrade of M3 junction 9.
https://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/19330657.new-plans-unveiled-major-upgrade-m3-junction-9/

New plans unveiled for major upgrade of M3 junction 9 as consultation starts HIGHWAYS England has unveiled new plans to transform junction 9 on the M3 at Winnall.

Who remembers doing these from their childhood?

May be worth familiarising yourselves with them again, just so you can be ready for when we all have electric cars, but still can't get parked anywhere near the house! 🤣

With children returning to school this week we also have the return of the school run traffic.

From the last minute rushers that drop them outside the gate (whilst still in their onesie & slippers) to that one car that always arrives an hour before finishing time so they can get their favourite parking space (& leave the engine running for the entire time), the school run often shows up the worst driving habits.

So if you are part of the dreaded school run traffic, please try to be a bit considerate towards your fellow motorists:

If you're an early bird, switch your engine off while you wait. If you choose to leave it running, we will send your registration number directly to Greta Thunberg

Don't park like a git. That's not just aimed at the ones that block the road when the spaces are gone - Sharon who habitually parks her Nissan Kumquat across 2 spaces is part of the reason the roads get blocked!

When your children come out & you get to the car, bu**er off (same goes for dropping them off)! While you stand talking bo****ks to Tracy & Malcolm because you haven't seen them since that morning or the day before, another 5 cars have turned up, not been able to park & blocked the road even more.

Finally & most importantly, drive carefully when leaving the school area - your little darlings may be safely strapped in, but the image of someone else's child bouncing off your car will haunt your dreams for the rest of your life!

Another stellar example of Andover's many roundabouts that nobody knows how to use.

There have been several accidents here since the revised layout you see here was first used in 2011.
I can near enough guarantee that every time I use this roundabout I will come across at least 1 muppet that can't figure out what lane to be in.

Why? Admittedly, some genius decided at some point to get rid of the 2 lane entrance to the A342 Westbound Weyhill Road (replaced by the chevrons shown here) & failed to amend the signs from the A303 (also shown), but I regularly see drivers weave across 3 different lanes for the other junctions!

How is it that in nearly 10 years of it being used & (mostly) clear signage & lane markings, nobody can navigate this roundabout without making a bo****ks of it or trying to wipe out the few drivers that do use it correctly?

Probably more for the out-of-town visitors (so feel free to share if you know any), but may be a couple of Andover locals it applies to.

The Andover walk-in COVID testing facility is in the Shepherds Spring Lane car park as shown in the picture.

It isn't in either the Hanson or Breedon concrete plants as shown in the other 2 pictures.

Please stop driving into their yards as the lads in the lorries are usually very patient & considerate, but are noticeably starting to get the arse with people driving into their tightly packed yards & crawling past their entrances at a snails pace. 👍

Ran into Doris again.

She must have some points tally on that driving game now.

You get to a busy junction where you need to turn right (many probably recognise the one picture as a right pain to turn right from). There's a steady flow of traffic going both ways. It seems like there's never going to be a gap. Just then you spot a gap in the traffic coming from the left. Nothing to be seen once Karen in the Qashqai has gone by. Now you need a gap in the right turning traffic at the same time.

At this point you could just block that lane, but you're not an ignorant bell-end so you elect not too. No need - there looks like a reasonable gap behind that Hyundai approaching.

Everything feels like a slow-motion replay. Karen's Qashqai is nearly upon you, but wait - the Hyundai that seemed to be bearing down has slowed to a crawl. Is she turning? No indicators yet, but you're ready to go as soon as they come on.

The road to the left is clear, there's a gap to the right if that bloody Hyundai gets a move on. But the Audi driver behind the Hyundai is catching up.

Then you see her. Doris is in the Hyundai. She wasn't turning at all & she certainly wasn't going to let you out. She's let the Audi driver (& another steady flow of traffic from the right) catch up.

The traffic on the left? The gap is gone. The dark blue Transit has a steady line of traffic behind it & you're back to square one. No gap. Just waiting. Again.

& you can swear blind that you saw that bloody Hyundai go past for a second time in the other direction.

Curse you Doris!

How is it that so soon after the law decided that it was too dangerous to allow people to make hand-held phone calls whilst driving, car manufacturers suddenly put so much effort into making sure that you literally have to take your eyes off the road just to change the radio station or turn the heating up?

In Teslas you have to use the giant touchscreen to change the speed of the windscreen wipers & God help you if you try to do that without looking at the screen as you'll probably end up inadvertently changing the satnav to send you the wrong way or enabling the whoopee cushion option!

What was wrong with physical buttons & k***s? In my old Vauxhall I could turn the heat up or change radio station easily without taking my eyes off the road because I could feel the bloody controls!

What prize gobsh*te decided that this was the right way to paint these arrows on the road?
The roundabout at the northern end of King Arthur's Way, approached from Enham. Lane 1 is labelled straight ahead by the arrows, but also states the A343. Lane 2 has no mention of the A343, but the arrow still directs traffic to the 2nd exit (which is the A343 turning). Better yet, the actual turning for the A343 is only wide enough for 1 vehicle at a time (I know this was originally 2 lanes, but these arrows were painted after it changed).
Andover drivers are useless enough on roundabouts as it is - they don't need to have "trick questions" given on approach.
Whoever painted these arrows should be made to stand in the roundabout wearing nothing more than a hi-vis vest & their pants, & manually direct the traffic around it!

Going on a long (post-lockdown) car journey with the family?

Play the "police cars" game with your kids while traveling. Whoever spots the most police cars from the start to end of the trip wins!

Great way to keep the kids occupied while also having an extra couple set of eyes looking out for police cars you might not have noticed.

Doris has been out scoring points again.

Remember that game where you have to c**k up the traffic around you?

You're approaching a long line of parked cars & you spot Doris & the Hyundai coming to the other end of the line. As you're not an ignorant t**t you think, "I'll be nice & let her go".

But funnily enough her speed while passing the cars is about half what it was when she was approaching them. You patiently wait for her to clear the parked cars so that you can have your chance to pass, but it's no good. The closer she gets to the end, the slower she seems to go.

Just 2 cars left to pass & you feel like you're waiting for the start of a race, launch control ready to catapult you past the parked cars, but it's too late. Doris' tactic of slowing down as she passed the parked cars meant that it took long enough for the rest of the traffic to reach the parked cars & you now have to wait for them before you can go. Although a quick glance in the mirror reveals the cloud of dust & tyre marks left in the road where Doris gave it maximum acceleration once she was past.

10mins later & you're still waiting - & could swear blind that Doris had gone round the block to pass the parked cars again, scoring another 10 points!

Curse you Doris!

Where do you put your satnav?

Now & again I'll pass a vehicle & spot the satnav located smack-bang in front of the driver halfway up the screen & wonder how on earth that is considered safe.

Those that share vehicles with other drivers (LGV, van drivers) probably see it quite often too. That tell-tale circle mark from the suction cup in the middle of the screen & right in front of you.

There's enough blind spots in vehicles as it is without adding extra ones!

Is it just me or has anybody else noticed that there's a new driving game going around?

You must know it. Drivers score points by c**king up the traffic around them.

A popular example is (but is not limited to):

Being the last car through the traffic lights before they turn red - you'll be sat in the queue at the lights with mild mannered Doris in her little Kia or Hyundai in front.
The lights turn green & everybody pulls away (usually slowly) & Doris just about puts her hand on the gearstick when the car in front of her moves (not when the lights went green).
The little Hyundai just about starts crawling off, when the lights go orange & before you can say "blue rinse" she's burned rubber & disappeared into the distance leaving you stuck behind (another) red light.

Curse you Doris!

Coronavirus Testing to start in Shepherds Spring Lane car park on Saturday afternoon (16th January).

With the increase in traffic heading up & down that road, it'll be interesting to see if the cars leaving Sainsburys start looking to their right before they just pull out in front of oncoming traffic!

Worth bearing in mind if you're looking to buy or sell a car.

Buying from a dealer 👍
Buying from a private seller 👎

Don't be too surprised to find adverts being monitored...

Car Dealer Magazine: Private used car sales 'against rules' during third lockdown as police report buyer for Covid offences to court.
https://cardealermagazine.co.uk/publish/private-used-car-sales-in-doubt-during-third-lockdown-as-police-report-buyer-for-covid-offences-to-court/212773

Private used car sales 'against rules' during third lockdown as police report buyer for Covid offences to court – Car Dealer Magazine A police force has pulled over a used car buyer and reported them for breaking the rules on essential travel during the third national lockdown. It seems

Boy racers - don't you just hate them?

Whilst it may be true that not all modified car drivers are boy racers, most boy racers do (badly) drive modified (often also badly) cars which then taints the reputation of the grown ups that have modified cars.

Does this mean that the grown ups with modified cars then hate the boy racers even more as they destroy the chances of having sensible, organised car meets by doing burnouts, over-revving engines & leaving litter?

Andover has plenty from both columns.

Why is it that traffic wardens are quick to give you a ticket for going over your parking time, parking in a disabled space or parking on yellow lines, but when people park in loading bays to go shopping they turn a blind eye?
If they aren't going to enforce them, what is the point of having loading only parking spaces?

What would you rather have - a modern car full of technology & driver aids or an older car that was more basic, but didn't need a laptop to fix it?

How is it that a town like Andover that has as many roundabouts as it does, has so many drivers completely unable to use them?
From the ones that aimlessly meander across lanes at Enham Arch & 100 Acre to the ones that think it's acceptable to drive in a straight line across, completely oblivious to traffic alongside them, we have quite possibly some of the worst driving in the South in this town.