Therapy in the City

“Something will grow from all you are going through and it will be you.” 🌺

I unexpectedly received this beautiful bouquet of lilies yesterday from a lovely client as a thank you - she’s mastered her anxiety and passed all her school exams.

I love when my clients see the results of all their hard work… therapy truly is a place for personal development and self discovery.

…on a side note the beautiful fragrance of the lilies is filling my home office! 🌺

Fab to have been asked by The Courier to contribute to their feature article on ‘Sleep Divorce’ in today’s weekend magazine.

Always make time for the things that make you happy. 🌞

After a busy day, it was bliss to take a sunset walk tonight with Steve and Zeke…

‘Appreciate what is right in front of your eyes... The world is full of many wonders, just don’t forget you are one of them.’

You’re in charge of your life and thoughts, what you think today, creates the life you’ll have tomorrow. I recommend starting your day with a self love smoothie made with a large heap of gratitude, a dash of reflection, two large heaped spoons of positivity in a cup of self love.

When we enter into a conscious relationship it empowers us…creating a place of deep connection, refuge and nourishment. These relationships can meet our fundamental needs for belonging, love and security.

However, it requires from us a willingness for self reflection… a deep level of self awareness and a commitment to changing ourselves and not avoiding commitment.

Who you are matters when it comes to not only creating conscious relationships but maintaining authentic connections in your life. It’s important to address your personal issues, have an honest view of your past relationship patterns and regardless of how badly a past relationship ended, by having a balanced view of the negatives and positives it creates more realistic outcomes when entering a new relationship.

We all have the power of choice and you can choose to create the relationship you want , how you want to feel and how you would like to love and be loved. A relationship that is purposeful, decisive and with intention… supporting both yours and your partners needs and desires. This first begins with the relationship you have with yourself.

Unhealthy or toxic behaviours can be unlearnt and there is no challenge that can’t be worked out. So if you’re willing to look within, do the inner work and live without expectations… then there is no reason why you can’t create the conscious, healthy relationship you want and break your old negative relationship patterns for good.

🌺CHANGE🌺 Throughout our lives we all reach points where we can feel ourselves in need of a change.

At times these feelings can manifest themselves as a lack of energy & motivation, an unhealthy preoccupation with the past, a craving for something new or a sense of unhappiness and unfulfilment.

For some of us the changes are necessary to break the cycle of toxic or unhealthy relationships/situations and for others these thoughts are driven by a desire to finally follow a lifetime dream.

Whatever your reason for seeking a change in direction, the ability to follow a new path lies within your control.

🧳 THERAPIST LIFE - April was a busy month for road trips! Holiday to North Wales with friends and then a trip back to The Lake District for me to complete my practitioner skills training in creative art therapy.

So here’s a few pics of our April travels.

TOXIC LOVE ❤️‍🩹

Do you feel like your partner is playing mind games? Perhaps it feels like they’re concealing their true intentions, blaming you for everything to avoid taking responsibility or constantly withholding important information.

Those who engage in emotional manipulation usually have difficulty in recognising and expressing their own emotions and needs.

This behaviour unfortunately leads to unhealthy relationships that chip away at the wellbeing of their partner.

It can be difficult at first to recognise this behaviour in your relationship but once you do, it’s important to remember you are not responsible for it, so can’t change it as it is their behaviour. However, you can make decisions that feel healthy to you in staying or leaving and crucially taking care of yourself.

We all deserve a healthy relationship that is based on mutual love, trust and respect.

How does your relationship feel?

🎨 How can you be creative when you have no motivation? Yet in the same breath how can you be motivated when you just aren’t feeling creative? . . .

At TITC we all agree the best answer is to just do something. It may not be your best work but guess what? ... sometimes the greatest of masterpieces come from the most humble of beginnings. . .

There is no huge secret behind the success of others apart from the fact that they stepped out and took a chance. You never know what you will discover when you aren’t even looking.

Real life is so much more than a highlight reel!

💥Introducing Men’s Single Session Coaching at Therapy in the City… these one off sessions require less of a time commitment and can be booked as little as 24hrs in advance with the option of on the day appointments (subject to availability).

Steve, our Men’s Human Potential Coach can help to get you ‘unstuck’ or even provide the support or soundboard you need to kickstart a project, process or goal when you really need the help and not weeks later after a long waiting time.

These sessions are a great personal development tool that can help you gain clarity, formulate strategy and optimise your strengths.

If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, worried or frustrated… maybe a single coaching session can help you gain that clarity, action planning and self discipline to refocus you. Just drop us an email and we can get you booked in with Steve.

Available in person and online.

Have a great week!

Pay attention to the simple things... Life may not be exactly where you would like it to be right now, but there is beauty in the perfectly imperfect.

Love the life you have been given, be thankful for waking up to another morning, for the sun shining or the rain falling. Smile at those that cross your path, for the friends, family or new faces that help to brighten your day.

Acknowledge your strengths, you may not be an expert at everything but everyone has something, no matter how small, that makes them shine.

Appreciate the chaos that is your own little world ✨

We are all our own normal…

Life is not a one size fits all kind of deal. Your experiences, feelings and  circumstances have established your unique understanding and interaction with the World.

You are in control, you make the decisions and how you are living your journey does not need to be justified or compared to how others live theirs.

Put aside the stereotypical idea of what ‘normal’ looks like and focus on what feels right for you.

🌺 Change is necessary for growth, so prepare for it just like we prepare for the changing seasons. Ease your way into it, once you see all the good coming from that change, you’ll be ready for more!

🌺Self-Hypnosis for feelings of Anxiety🌺

Find yourself a quiet place where you can relax undisturbed for 15 minutes (Please do not attempt while driving): . . .

Close your eyes

Focus on your breathing - breathe slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth

Silently and mentally count down from ten to one (count on every second breath out)

As you breathe out and count each number, allow your body to become more relaxed

As you count ten, focus on your feet and toes, let them relax

As you count nine, focus on your calves and ankles, let them relax

As you count eight, focus on your thighs and knees, let them relax

As you count seven, focus on your pelvis and hips, let them relax

As you count six, focus on your stomach and lower back, let them relax

As you count five, focus on your chest and upper back, let them relax

As you count four, focus on your arms and hands, let them relax

As you count three, focus on your neck and shoulders, let them relax

As you count two, focus on your head and face, let them relax

As you count one, allow your entire body to relax further, feel your body and mind releasing tension

When you feel completely at ease repeat the following positive affirmation at least seven times: . . .

🌿Feelings are just visitors. I accept them and then let them go. . .🌿

Continue to breathe slowly as your repeat the affirmation

When you feel calm, relaxed and less anxious then count up to five slowly and open your eyes on 1. Repeat daily.

Please remember that if you are experiencing an overwhelming sense of stress and anxiety that is beginning to impact your day to day life it may be beneficial to contact a healthcare professional in your area for personalised help and advice.

🌺 You do not need to put on a brave face, to act stronger than you feel, to hide your tears, to cover up your fear or sadness. There is no shame in authenticity, in asking for help, in acknowledging your emotions. You do not need to hide away because regardless of how it may feel, you, in expressing all of your realness, are already brave enough. 🌺

How safe does your relationship feel? When we experience physical, emotional and commitment safety in our relationships it strengthens our bonds.

Having that secure base in a relationship provides a platform for us from which we can explore, take risks, experience personal growth and be more independent in our work, development and goals…

Take a look at the 3 tips above and continue to invest in your relationship… that bunch of flowers, box of chocolates or meal you have booked tomorrow for Valentines (if you celebrate) might be nice but how about giving a gift of relationship safety too?

💝 Why not take some time tomorrow (or even today) and set some couple goals? When couples dream and set goals together, it deepens your commitment to your relationship and each other.

The mind works overtime when it’s trying to deal with problems in life but overthinking and giving meaning to every thought steals your time and your calm. Practice challenging your thoughts and giving yourself permission to reject those that you can’t prove are true.

…this sweetened up my week! Big thanks to my lovely client for this delicious box of treats🧁

The greatest adventure you can take in 2024 is the one that leads to discovering who you are.

What if you could step out from your perceived ‘ideal self’ shaped by the values, expectations of others and instead fully connect with your inner true self, your authentic self?

Finding yourself is an unselfish process, connecting you to the root of everything you do in life. To improve the relationships around you, you have to first improve your relationship with yourself…know who you are, what you value and why you feel the way you do.

This journey of self discovery is right there waiting for you, you just need to take that first step on the path… it might not be clear, it could be difficult at times and you may feel like giving up… but wouldn’t it be great to understand why you feel anxious, lost, sad or frustrated. If you’re ready… why not get in touch and let’s journey on this adventure together ✨

A few pics from our team festive day out on Saturday. ❄️

Also… just a little reminder about upcoming leave in December. We will be taking a two week break over the festive period to spend time with family, friends and recharge our batteries ready to step into 2024 with you.

We will be on leave from 20 Dec and back in clinic from Monday 8 Jan.

My diary is fully booked for December and January is already filling up, so don’t forget to book in now for 2024.

Steve has a few appointments left before he finishes for the holidays for men’s coaching.

If you would like to book therapy with myself or men’s ADHD coaching with Steve, drop our practice manager Jade an email ([email protected]) and she can get you booked in. She will be monitoring emails over the break but not daily, so touch base now before 20th December to ensure you get booked in for the start of the year. 🙏🏻

…wishing you a day as sweet as these festive chocolates in the office for my clients.

Hello December… As we drift gently towards the end of the year, I invite you to reflect on the journey you have taken in 2023… how you have or will continue to deepen your personal awareness, self empowerment and growth.

🌺 I’m reflecting today on the creative expression workshop in Cumbria I returned from this week. A beautiful experience in working with expressive movement to explore the relationship we have with our physical body. A practice I look forward to not only bringing into my work but as a self care ritual for myself.

Another beautiful and creative workshop in Cumbria… this opening had us working creatively with nature, clay and ancestry.✨

🌿 This is such a gentle and organic process, I’m absolutely loving this training and I’m looking forward to offering workshops/retreats and using this expressive art therapy in 2024.

"Behind every mask there is a face and behind that a story."

Creative art therapy can help to articulate your inner world when words fail and help you to connect to your own inner values and resources.

What would your inner self look like? So many of us wear masks daily for fear of what others might think of us or whether we meet their expectations.

Do you feel free enough to be your true self or are you still hiding behind a mask?

The relationship we have with ourselves is the foundation of the relationships we have with others. Are you ready to be seen?

Home from the Lake District and back to work today after an amazing experiential foundation workshop in Person Centred Expressive Art Therapy.

Creative expression has always been a part of my life, so I’m super excited to have stepped onto this path to integrate this approach into my therapy practice…especially as the training has been created from the direct teachings of Natalie Rogers.

Although I have to say it felt a little strange at first using only my left hand (non dominant) for all the tasks but it’s of course a great way to access the voice of your inner child.

Creative approaches can be a really empowering way to deepen your personal growth and healing.

I’ll be sharing my personal experiences here as I continue my journey and move onto Level 1 training during the winter and into spring.

Be your partner’s ally…

…Remember you’re both on the same team. Your partner is not your opponent and working through problems does not have to be a battle.

Work together to tackle and overcome any obstacles.

Two heads are often better than one, so travel the road together.

🌿Self Care Sunday🌿

Sunday is my relaxation time and you will usually find me out in nature, foraging or swinging on our egg chair in the garden reading a book…because for me that’s weekend bliss and vitally I also get to spend quality time with my partner and dog while nurturing myself.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all about the hustle during the week but Sunday in particular is my time to step away from work and just breathe and be fully present.

Hitting the daily grind is great, use your motivation, dedication and focus for all its worth but make sure you are still getting that little bit of time in for yourself.

Working 24/7 may seem like the best idea but burn out will creep up on you all too fast and aside from the impact it has on your mental and physical health it can also negatively affect your relationship with your partner, family, friends and self! So why not grab a little time each week to just relax and connect with your life.

What’s your self care looking like today?

👩‍❤️‍👨 Micro Cheating 👩‍❤️‍👨

How do you define what is and isn’t cheating within your relationship?

Do you use social media to keep in contact with your ex?

Healthy relationships require trust, communication, honesty, transparency and consistency.

Micro cheating is a term that seems to be growing online… so here’s a quick introduction to how small micro behaviour with an ex could be impacting your current relationship.

Whether you consider it a form of cheating or not… the key here is to recognise the lack of open communication in your relationship with your current partner.