New Clarity For You Coaching

COACHING CLIENTS THROUGH HIGH LEVELS OF UNCERTAINTY

Thank you members for another inspiring collaboration on this topic. Clients often come to coaching looking for support in dealing with change and the uncertainty it brings.

Our brain does not like uncertainty and it triggers our threat response.

Some people find uncertainty harder than others, which leads to an Intolerance of Uncertainty. They have “an underlying fear of the unknown”(Carleton, 2012).

They perceive situations as threatening rather than safe.

In coaching sessions we can help our clients in a number of ways such as;

* Normalising
* Sitting with it
* Noticing their thinking
* Identifying what they can control
* Psychological flexibility
* Exploring Limiting Beliefs

Helping them move forward and think more clearly 😊 More details are on my blog:
https://www.newclarityforyou.com/blog/coaching-clients-through-high-levels-of-uncertainty/

Story
3 years ago this month we had the crazy idea to do a collective marathon. It was during lockdown, so we couldn’t even run as a group.
We started on zoom to say hello, then ran/walked our 5k then met back on zoom. 151 of us from London to USA, running 755 kilometres in total which is 17 marathons.
We’d love to do it again and make it an annual event! Meeting at Ruislip lido if you’re local and zoom if you’re not. 4.30pm 30th April.
Delighted to be raising money for the amazing charity CLAPA (cleft lip and palate association). Just in time for CLAPA awareness week.
We’d love to see you there.
https://www.justgiving.com/page/nicola-osullivan-1681143346195?utm_source=sms

Great to celebrate the end of the year at our final Coaching Community Coffee Shop this month. We used these questions (Best Year Yet - Jinny Ditzler) to share our reflections and get set for this year ahead. A challenging year for many, yet the time to pause really helped. Bring it on 2023!

Looking back on 2022 ask yourself the following questions and write down the key factors;
 
1. What did you achieve? (Even a tiny step forward)
2. What are you proud of?      
3. What did you learn?  
4. What does this tell you about your own abilities?
5. What are the parts you want to let go of that are no longer working? (this could be attitude, bad habits, old ways of thinking etc)
 
 
The exercise above allows us to learn from 2022 and go forward into 2023 with planning and insights. So imagine it is December 29th 2023 and you are looking back on the year you have just had.
 
1. What have you achieved?
2. What else? What else?
3. What are you proud of?
4. What else? What else?

Wishing you and yours a blessed new year

Great to see you at the Coaching Community Coffee Shop this month, to discuss, share and inspire each other around The Coach’s Journey.
Not just attracting clients, but “attracting the right clients” and not just completion but “powerful completion”. Looking forward to next month for our chance to reflect and celebrate our year!

Thanks to everyone at the Coaching Coffee Shop last week, for sharing your ideas and resources on how to help our clients deal with Burnout.

Burnout is defined as “physical, emotional or mental exhaustion, accompanied by decreased motivation, lowered performance and negative attitudes towards oneself and others” (APA Dictionary of Psychology).
It can often be at the end of a continuum that could see someone being overwhelmed, stressed and then have burnout.

There are often physical, emotional and behavioural signs. (It is always advisable to see medical advice and or/therapeutic intervention if one is feeling severe signs of burnout).

When people are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, the limbic system is switched on. The brain senses danger and the fight or flight response is activated. It enlarges the amygdala, the part of the brain that controls emotional reactions (www.psychologicalscience.org/). This then impairs cognitive function in the pre-frontal cortex. So you might a get sense of not being able to think clearly.

A sample of the ideas and tools we discussed to help our clients were;

1. Notice what’s going on - Help your client to notice the specific triggers. Then name their own physical, emotional and behavioural reactions. To name and label it can calm the limbic system down.
2. Healthy Mind Platter - Using the Healthy Mind Platter can help create more balance.
3. Values and Purpose - Helping clients to tap into their values and purpose can help refocus them.
4. Yerkes -Dodson Law - Using the Yerkes-Dodson Law to help clients identify where they are and where they’d like to be. Read more about these tools on the website blog link in bio

The International Coaching Federation (ICF 2021) stated that “As the estimated market size is expected to reach $20 billion USD by 2022, the coaching industry is one of the fastest growing sectors in the world”.

ICF research, talks of 3 trends that will shape the future of coaching which are;

1. Increased Demand for Coaching Services
2. Great Coaching Opportunities in Niche Sectors
3. Confirmation of Qualifications

At this months Coaching Community Coffee Shop we discussed current trends we are seeing in our field.

Follow the link in the bio to my website blog for more information

Whow what an inspiring article. It’s about a woman and daughter who escaped Ukraine 3 months ago. A story of bravery, hope, love, growth and clarity.

Loved the part about her view on “sadness”;
“The Chinese character for "sad person" helps me. It is a picture of a man walking backwards. I have decided not to be that sad person. I am turning my face towards the future, towards life, and I feel clarity, lightness, and energy.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/heal-the-mind-heal-the-body/202206/when-loss-trauma-and-anxiety-lead-transformative-growth?amp

When Loss, Trauma and Anxiety Lead to Transformative Growth A psychologist describes 7 insights she learned after acute trauma.

The updated ICF Competencies include a new one called “Embodies a Coaching Mindset”. They define it as ‘Develops and maintains a mindset that is open, curious, flexible and client-centred’. (https://coachingfederation.org/credentials-and-standards/core-competencies).

This is about you as a coach and your professional practice. Who you are becoming as a coach.

Reflective practice is not just a cognitive process, it engages many areas of our brain such as the corpus callosum, which plays an important part in performance. The corpus callosum is a thick band of nerve fibres that connects the left and right sides of the brain. It is transfers information between the brain hemispheres.

Use the link in my bio to read more on my blog, about the five key elements to consider to create effective reflective practice.

Great to see familiar faces and new at the Coaching Community Coffee Shop this month

“The goal is not to be better than the other man, but better than your previous self” (Dalai Lama)

The image of an iceberg demonstrates Freud’s theory well. Freud said we can consciously and visibly see what’s above the water line such as our actions and behaviours, however underneath the water line is the unconscious mind and what we’re not consciously aware of. The feeling and thinking elements that can unconsciously drive what’s above the water line in our behaviours. So thinking I wish I could get more motivated to go out and get more clients, could unconsciously be driving our procrastination.

As coaches, using effective questioning can help tap into the unconscious feelings and thoughts. This can help us be more aware of our behaviours and the results we really want.
Results – What results do you want to achieve?
Behaviours – What behaviours would you need to develop to get those results?
Feeling – What are the feelings/emotions that would help you to embrace those behaviours?
Thinking – What thoughts or beliefs would create those feelings?

This topic created an interesting discussion at this month’s Coaching Community Coffee Shop. The ICF in their 2020 global survey found that "inability to measure the impact of coaching" was an issue for 42% of their respondents (full details on my blog via the bio link). One key element we found was the value of seeing “measurement” as a process both before, during and after the coaching engagement. How do you measure yours?

Great to see you last week at the Coaching Coffee Shop and we missed those of you who were not there. Hope to see you in the new year.

You can find some of the powerful questions we coached each other on in the link below. Some reflection on the past year's successes and looking forward to how we'd like it to be for the year ahead. Enjoy!

https://www.newclarityforyou.com/blog/your-best-year-yet/

Your Best Year Yet! | New Clarity For You positivity in looking ahead. Effective questions such as What have you achieved. What else.What are you proud of. What is your best self.

The Motivation to Stay on Track

You set a goal to lose weight, eat healthy, get fit, but you keep getting off track?

Neuroscience says it might be because your why is not sticky enough!

I work with people post bariatric surgery who often say “I know what I should be doing but just can’t seem to stay on track. I’m ok for a few days then just lose my motivation to keep going”. This is very normal, however it can lead to real frustration and beating yourself up.

Neuroscience and psychology say it can be helpful to not just focus on the how of your goal but the why.

This links to the two types of motivation called Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation. The how of the goal is the extrinsic motivation, the external factors such as the numbers on the scale, the amount of broccoli you know you “should” eat to be healthy. However the more powerful of the two is your Intrinsic motivation which is your inner drive and is natural in essence.  It’s the real reason you want the goal to lose weight/be healthy. It’s your why.

Helpful questions to think about are;
* What difference will it make to your life when you achieve your goal?
* What impact will it have on you and those around you?
* What will it enable you to do that you’re not doing now?

When asked, some people say I’d like to lose weight so I can be healthier, which means I’ll have more energy, which means I’ll be able to go on long walks with my husband or play with the grand kids more. Keep going till you find your core why. So here it’s family. This is the stickiness of the goal and will help you stay on track.

Inspiring!
https://apple.news/AmP0Fq13aQkaSfgds0w-vSQ

Helen Glover hopes she inspired her children to 'take risks' after fourth-place finish in Tokyo Olympics — The Telegraph Full schedule: plus key events to watch each day Tokyo Olympics 2020: live updates from day six

Whow! Helen Glover takes fourth place in the Tokyo Olympics and hopes she’s encouraged her children to “take risks and to take chances, with no fear of failure”.

She returned to training during lockdown with 3 kids under the age of 3!!!! She’s made history as the first British rower to compete at an Olympics after giving birth.

"I just want to say, you can do whatever you want to do. Trying and failing is no problem, as long as you try. And that's not just for my children, that's for everyone out there.”

Full article by Tom Cary -Telegraph in bio link Facebook

Intuitive Coaching is coaching at a deeper level. It uses the skills of Coaching Presence, Active Listening, Direct Communication and Trust & Intimacy (ICF core competencies) to help raise a person’s awareness.

Active Listening – ‘Ability to focus completely on what the client is saying and is not saying, to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of the client’s desires and to support client’s self-expression.’ (ICF core competencies).

Listen at a deeper level with your client by using their own words, sharing when you notice a shift in energy, tone of voice and stretching them with questioning – “I noticed you looked really excited when you discussed that option, your face lit up. What are your thoughts when you hear this back?”

Thank you Coaching Community Coffee Shop for another engaging and collaborative session today. Intuitive Coaching is coaching at a deeper level. It uses the skills of Coaching Presence, Active Listening, Direct Communication and Trust and Intimacy (ICF core competencies) to help raise a person’s awareness.

Coaching Presence – ‘Ability to be fully conscious and a create spontaneous relationship with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible and confident.’ – (ICF core competencies). As coaches it’s important for us to manage our own inner space to ensure we are able to hold the space for our clients. We can do this in a number of ways, such as before the session by getting centered, with breathing or “clearing the mental space” (see bio link to blog - Declutter your mind). Also during the session by noticing when your inner dialogue may be hindering your coaching presence. For example “I don’t know what question to ask next….” use this as a positive nudge to self that you have lost your coaching presence and bring it back with a strong clarification of what you have just heard. This helps create more flow and presence in your coaching (see bio link to blog - Flow and Coaching Presence).

Article to go with the latest post 😀

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sweet-emotion/201408/why-labeling-emotions-matters

Why Labeling Emotions Matters An at-home experiment on emotion labeling.

Spoke to so many people last week who were feeling “overwhelmed”.

“Can’t think clearly”, “Can’t see the wood for the trees”, all things people might say if they feel a bit overwhelmed. It’s not your fault, you are part of an ‘amygdala hijack’!
The amygdala forms part of the limbic system and has shown to play a key role in the processing of emotions. From evolution it is primed to sense danger (lion in the cave) and can send us into a “fight, flight or freeze”. The down side, is that in order to do this, it takes resources away from our Pre-frontal cortex (PFC), which is the area of the brain where we do our best thinking and problem solving. So helpful if there is a lion, however not so helpful if you feel overwhelmed and need to think clearly!
One way to calm down the limbic system and this emotional brain, is to use Cognitive Change Strategies such as Emotional Labelling. This increases arousal in the PFC and can dampen down the arousal in the limbic system.
One study that illustrates this is by Matthew Lieberman and some colleagues. They asked thirty participants to view pictures of angry, scared, or happy looking faces. The fMRI scans showed that when the participants labelled the emotional faces using words, less activity occurred in the amygdala—so a reduced threat response (Lieberman, M 2009 -The brain’s braking system and how to use your words to tap into it - NeuroLeadership Journal Issue Two).
In essence, it follows 3 steps (it works best with low-level threat and low-level emotional states, so emotions like “anxious” as opposed to “terrified”);
* Pause, stand still, take a breath
* Describe the emotion in one or two words
* Consciously chose to put that emotion to the side.
You are not ignoring the emotion, you are dampening down the arousal in the limbic system and increasing arousal in the PFC, so you can think clearer!
You can read more detail about it in my blog via the bio.

Reminded me of what one of my coachees said in their final coaching session. “I will never be the same. Thank you for this gift! I look forward, as there is no going back to that place I was coming from. I’m coming from a more positive place now”.

When we look upwards we change our patterns of thought.
Our visual brains have several distinct systems. One of them is specialised for the visual field above the horizon. Neuroscientist Fred Previc says that looking up activates the same area of the brain activated during religious experiences, meditative activity, dreaming and creative activity. So looking up is good for you.

Look Up: The Surprising Joy of Raising Your Gaze When we look upwards we change our patterns of thought.

When we look upwards we change our patterns of thought.
Our visual brains have several distinct systems. One of them is specialised for the visual field above the horizon. Neuroscientist Fred Previc says that looking up activates the same area of the brain activated during religious experiences, meditative activity, dreaming and creative activity. So looking up is good for you.
Full article on my page

Happy bank holiday weekend and enjoy your “Down Time”. It’s one of the seven daily essential activities necessary for optimum mental health according Dan Siegel and David Rock, two leaders in neuroscience

Announcing the Healthy Mind Platter The healthy mind platter for optimal brain matter.

Happy bank holiday weekend and enjoy your “Down Time”. It’s one of the seven daily essential activities necessary for optimum mental health according Dan Siegel and David Rock, two leaders in neuroscience. They say Down Time is “when we are non-focused, without any specific goal, and let our mind wander or simply relax, we help the brain recharge”.
They created the Healthy Mind Platter which also includes Focus Time. Play Time. Connecting Time. Physical Time. Time in and Sleep.
Read the full article on my Facebook post in the bio.

One of the new ICF core competencies
“Embodies a Coaching Mindset”
This post highlights the value of focusing on yourself as a coach and provides guidance on how to invest in “being” a coach alongside “doing” the coaching.



https://coachingfederation.org/blog/embodies-a-coaching-mindset

A Powerful ICF Core Competency: Embodies a Coaching Mindset - International Coaching Federation The coaching profession is growing globally and rapidly to meet the evolving needs of our world. As more people make coaching their full-time career, investing in yourself as a coach is even more important now. To support coaches on their journeys, the International Coaching Federation (ICF) has int...

Neuroscience and Positive Psychology tips to increase Flow & Coaching Presence during the Coaching Session

Use your structure to top and tail your session, so you can be in the flow in the middle. So a clear context at the start and a clear completion at the end.
Reduce your note taking to actions and insights and key words
Regulate emotion during the session too and check in like you did at the start

Thank you to another lovely group attending the Coaching Community Coffee Shop last week. The topic was Flow and Coaching Presence. Great collaboration of how to create more flow and presence in our coaching sessions.

Before the session;
* Check in with your own presence
* Clear any mental distractions
* Label the Emotion
* Get centred

During the session
* A clear start and end to the session so the middle is the coachee’s agenda
* Regulate emotion during the session too. Notice. Let it be your friend as it’s a signal you’re not as present as you could be. *Breathe and reconnect. Clarify often to show you’ve heard.
* Enjoy and be curious

People with Imposter Syndrome often play down their achievements.

Play big, be proud, acknowledge and remember your wins.

Think of a success and note down how your actions and traits made it happen. I was able to do X because I am/did Y. So I was able to do the presentation really well because I prepared, I persevered, I asked for help, I am brave.