Five Rubies

Do you enjoy the start of a new season?

In our part of the world, schools have been back for almost a full week and the weather is finally shifting into the new season. The small signs are here; spider’s webs appearing overnight, dew on the grass, daddy longlegs bouncing around the windows and a fresh, damp edge to the early morning air.

Autumn is my favourite time of the year. There’s a sense of newness and potential. I’m delighted to discover the first shiny conker. I love watching nature change from one rich colour to the next. And there’s a slowing and nurturing as we head towards winter.

This autumn, I’m also heading into a new season of focus. I’ve been writing a novel for a long time, and I’ve realised (with a little help from a coach and friend) I need to give myself more time to focus on the book so I can finally finish it. Creating this space means making some changes for the rest of the year.

I won’t be creating any new content for Five Rubies, although I may repost content I think you might find helpful or inspiring. I’ll be around on social media as I enjoy the connections and community.

Other than existing clients, I’m not taking on any new work until January. I’m always happy to chat, so do get in touch if you’d like to explore working with me in 2024.

Creating space feels a little scary but mostly exciting! I’ll be sharing some of my journey on my personal social media accounts, so follow me there if you’re interested. I’ll pop the links below.

Onwards to 4th drafts, editing, new (and old) characters, adventures and magic. And, of course, lots of coffee and notebooks.

Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/claire_louise_tomkins/

Connect with me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/claire-tomkins/

This month I’ve been exploring the concept of creative flow. It’s been a while since I’ve given myself permission to go down a research rabbit hole and I’ve enjoyed it so much, I’ve written a longer than usual blog post all about it.

I’ve LOVED exploring this topic. Creative flow has wonderful benefits for creativity, business, work, movement, and many other aspects of life. It’s something worth investing in.

So, I hope you enjoy my rabbit hole of creative flow. I’d love to hear your comments. Link below.

https://www.fiverubies.co.uk/blog/the-power-of-creative-flow

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi defined creative flow as, ‘the mental state of being completely present and fully immersed in a task’.

I’ve enjoyed exploring this concept for this month’s blog post (look out for that next week!). It's struck me that everyone’s experience of creative flow is different.

I’d love to hear about your experience - how do you feel when you’re in creative flow? Let me know in the comments 👇

What does the phrase ‘showing up’ conjure up for you?

I think it can sometimes have a negative connotation, e.g., ‘at least they showed up,’ as if it was the minimum effort a person could muster, so perhaps they shouldn't have bothered at all.

I disagree. Sometimes the act of showing up requires maximum effort. Sometimes showing up is the hardest part.

For me, showing up is at the beginning. It requires stepping into the place where I allow myself to be seen. Perhaps by others, perhaps by myself, or perhaps by something or someone bigger than me.

And being seen can be hard. Sometimes, it feels easier and safer not to. Yesterday, I was reminded of this:

When we show up, not only have we achieved something that’s often hard, but whoever we are allowing to see us is glad we’re there.

* When you show up for your writing, the blank page says, it’s lovely to see you.

* When you show up for your clients, you exchange energy and do good work together.

* When you show up for your mind and body, your sacred space welcomes you without judgement.

* When you show up in your content, there's at least one person who feels seen themselves.

Yesterday, I showed up at a zoom writing hour and allowed myself to be seen by others, by my writing and by me. I feel content, grateful and quietly proud that I showed up and this piece of writing is the result.

Where will you show up and allow yourself to be seen today?

A few weeks ago, someone gave me four tomato plants. Green fingers run in my family, but all the evidence so far suggests that gene didn’t pass to me. My superpower is not keeping plants alive.

Fortunately, my fledgling tomato plants appear to be pretty sturdy and need little attention. They’ve been bravely growing in their pots, and as if by magic, the yellow flowers are turning into tiny green tomatoes. All they needed was a bit of water every day and a shady spot on the garden wall. I’m feeling cautiously optimistic and quietly proud that I’ve kept them alive for this long.

Why am I talking about tomatoes? I’ve been working on a blog post about creative flow and considering what we need in our environments in order to create the work we want.

My ideal work environment is calm and without too much clutter. There must be natural light. I don’t mind some background noise (I like to work in local cafes) as long as it doesn’t become too loud or overwhelming. I’ll often have a hot drink and sometimes I’ll light a candle. I find it helpful to work with other people around for accountability, as long as I’m not distracted!

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

What’s the best environment for your work?

I love to write with a good pen. The sort that glides across the page with the effortless fluidity of a pro ice dancer. A good pen connects my mind and body to the page, so it has an important job to do. Of course, any pen (or pencil) will do, but some are created better than others.

My dad also believed in the power of a good pen, so when I started my exam years at school, he bought me a fountain pen. It wasn’t anything fancy, but that pen was my trusted companion through hundreds of words in the years ahead. It left an inky bump on the side of my finger, which is still there now.

Sadly, I don’t know where that pen is now, but my brother bought me a pair of good pens and a notebook for my last birthday (both of which I’m using in the first draft of this post). This one is called ‘Jetstream’ which I feel is a good name for a pen.

A really good pen says, ‘Your words matter and I’m here to help you form them on the page.' That’s why I love to write with a good pen.

What do you love to do?

Last week I had a great time recording a podcast episode with the lovely Anna Woolliscroft about nature, movement and writing. Anna sent me some fab questions to prepare, so I thought I’d share one of my favourites.

‘How has nature supported you in life?’

I loved reflecting on the impact of being in nature and how important it is for my creativity and wellbeing.

Here’s what I jotted down in my notebook:

Nature is a refuge; it soothes, nurtures and restores me.

Nature gives my mind and imagination space to breathe.

Nature is a constant source of inspiration.

Nature helps me to slow down and appreciate what’s around me.

Nature is where I run and process my thoughts.

Nature gives me perspective.

Nature is wild and unhindered, and I have to take it as it is.

Nature is the best teacher.

Nature is always pleased to see me.

How does nature support you in your life?

How confident do you feel about creating and sharing content?

I was talking to a friend this week about how she and her colleagues feel about writing content. She commented that her biggest challenge was confidence. She wasn’t always sure whether her writing sounded ‘right’ or if the topics were interesting enough.

If you resonate with this, here are 5 tips that may help give your content a confidence boost:

1. Try not to overthink it. Your content doesn’t have to be word perfect. The important thing is you're showing up with a willingness to serve your audience and share your message.

2. Get your message straight. If you’re clear on what you want to say, who to and why, it makes writing content a whole lot easier AND you’ll feel great about it.

3. Embrace your uniqueness. You don’t need to talk to everyone and not everyone will agree with you or *deep breath* perhaps even like you. Embrace it! We are all unique and there’s space for us all in this vast online world.

4. Practice. This applies to most things in life. The more we practice something, the more effortless it becomes. Practice writing content and practice how you want to feel about it. It can make a real difference.

5. Your voice matters. Everyone has a valuable and interesting story to share which someone out there needs to hear.

Which tip resonates with you the most?

‘Have you had a good day, Mum?’

My 12 year old asked me this question when she got in from school today. I paused to consider and decided it had been a good day. She asked what I’d enjoyed doing.

I enjoyed working at the table in our recently finished kitchen listening to the rain hammering on the roof windows.

I enjoyed reading the opening chapters to a friend’s book and offering some feedback.

I enjoyed doing the first session with two new clients and seeing a few beautiful light bulb moments.

I enjoyed a run along the muddy riverside path listening to one of my favourite podcasts about writing.

I’m currently enjoying the background sounds of the cricket (with commentary from the hubby and teenager) on the TV in the other room and the reassuring smell of jacket potatoes in the oven.

Why am I sharing these things with you? Well, first to encourage you to reflect on what you’ve enjoyed today. It’s given me a boost (along with the endorphins) and it also reminds me of the benefits of practicing gratitude. Bonus.

And second, showing you what I’ve enjoyed helps you to get to know me.

So here’s this week’s challenge:

Share with your audience 5 things you’ve enjoyed today. I’d love to hear them so I can get to know you, too🫶

Do you enjoy creating content? Is it something that sparks joy (to quote a well-known organizing expert) or is it a chore?

This week on LinkedIn, I share 5 tips to help you find more ease and joy in your content creation. Click on the link below to read the post.

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/claire-tomkins_smallbusinessowners-creativeentrepreneurs-activity-7072598672445730816-Q8Tu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop

I’ve been listening to a podcast this week, where the discussion included practices. One speaker described practices as ‘regular, life-giving activities that are in line with my values.’ For him, these kinds of practices included going to the gym, meditation and cycling in the forest.

Over recent years, I’m come to realise the importance of practices in my life. One key benefit (among many) is they nourish my soul. That might sound a bit out there, but I find when I miss out on my life-giving practices, it has a negative effect in other areas of my life.

My favourite practices include journaling (and coffee), time alone and running.

Do you have any life-giving practices?

Happy half term 😀

Do you experience overwhelm?

Overwhelm is a regular companion of mine. It usually shows up when I face a huge, scary and apparently impossible task. The trouble is, it can be paralysing and makes it hard to know where to begin.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about overwhelm in the context of building project chaos and wondering how I can help overcome it with higher motivation and stakes. That’s what this month’s blog post is all about.

Click below to have a read. I’d love to hear what you think.

https://www.fiverubies.co.uk/blog/increasemotivationandcombatoverwhelm

Talking about what motivates you connects your audience to your values and communicates what’s important to you. All these things help your audience decide whether they resonate with who you are and what you do.

Here’s what motivates me:

I’m motivated by meaning. By the desire to leave this world a little more joyful and hopeful than when I arrived.

I’m motivated by a desire to love and be loved. To impact and serve others through what I create, and to seek courage and contentment.

What about you - what motivates you?

It’s mental health awareness week in the UK and the theme this year is anxiety.

I have to confess until a few years ago I didn’t really understand what anxiety was. Like most things, until you experience it for yourself, it’s difficult to imagine what it feels like.

For me, what I came to recognise as anxiety appeared a few times during pregnancies and after the birth of our third child and again during lockdown. It’s reared its head recently as we’ve been living away from our house during a building project. It’s a horrible feeling which manifests physically and emotionally and can impact my daily life.

I’ve learned my ups and downs are part of me and they don’t mean I’m broken. They’ve given me the gift of understanding and empathy for others who experience anxiety and other mental health ups and downs.

So, if you experience anxiety or other challenges with your mental health, give yourself permission to treat yourself with kindness. Perhaps you could reflect on how you can best care for your mental well-being. Earlier this week, I shared a few things I find helpful here:

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=734388312023814&set=a.396000915862557

My best ‘go to’ is to reach out to someone who can give you understanding and a hug. And here’s a virtual one from me.

How do you best care for your mental well-being?

I find it helpful to focus on these three areas:

💜Connection - with others, my higher purpose/God, and myself through quality time, journalling and prayer.

🌷Self-nurture - being outside, movement, speaking to myself kindly, seeking joy in the small things, eating well, rest.

✨Inspiration - filling my creative well and being creative.

How about you?

I thought I’d reintroduce ‘Story Sparks’! Every Tuesday I’ll post something to spark or inspire a story. It could be a prompt, a quote or an image which you can use to help you create a piece of content, or a story to use in your work context. Or you could use it as part of a talk or presentation.

I’ll grab a notebook and pen and write for 2 minutes based on the story spark. Then I’ll share what I write. I’d love you to do the same if you’re up for it.

Here’s today’s story spark: What have you noticed today that's given you a smile?

Here’s what I wrote:

Today, I’ve noticed all the things in our house that are in the wrong place. Boxes of toys next to piles of clothes. A lampshade alongside the stand for the keyboard. A shoebox housing a packet of nuts sitting on top of the chest of drawers in our bedroom, along with a bottle of maple syrup and a box of peppermint tea bags.

There’s a green Ikea box overflowing with wrapping paper next to a blue Ikea bag with a new rug and duvet set for our daughter. Such is the chaos of life at the moment as we journey through a building project. It’s often stressful, but noticing these things casually sitting in the wrong places next to each other has given me a smile today.

What have you noticed today that's given you a smile?

Today I spent an hour and a half with a lovely friend, walking along the river in the warm sunshine, drinking coffee (or hot chocolate in her case) and sharing stories of what’s going on in our lives. Topics ranged from families to health, spirituality, and building projects. Teenagers, painting, HRT and bad customer service. We both shared the highs and lows in our lives.

‘Life, eh?’ I said, when we stopped to go our separate ways.

‘Yes,’ said my friend. 'But I’m glad I get to do life alongside you.'

It was a beautiful reminder that our stories make up our lives and when we share and listen to them, we practice empathy and connect with others on a deeper level. It was also a reminder that sharing stories with each other can be life-giving.

This applies to stories shared with friends and family, in a work context, with an online audience, or in how you talk about your business.

Whether our stories are about ups or downs, big things or small, they are all meaningful. Not only can stories help form deeper connections, they can also enrich our lives and the lives of others.

So, when was the last time you shared a story? How did it make you feel towards the person (or people) you shared it with?

I’d love to hear about it.

Wishing you a restful weekend and if you’re here in the UK, enjoy the celebrations and the extra day off!

When was the last time you shared a story with someone?

I love listening to other people’s stories. Stories are a universal language that invites us to lean in, connect with other humans and seek to understand our place in the world.

It feels apt that it’s National Tell A Story Day because I’ve been at a conference today and heard lots of stories.

Stories of inspiration and wonder.
Stories of failures and celebrations.
Stories of deep sadness and frustration.
Stories of tears.
Stories of joy.

And the everyday stories we share with those closest to us which may seem insignificant but are actually the most precious stories of them all.

All the stories I’ve heard today have enriched and impacted me in different ways.

So on National Tell A Story Day, why don’t you share a story - with a friend, someone you lead, or with your audience online. You never know the impact your everyday story could have on someone else.

Thanks to the super talented Toodlepip Designs for my awesome tee 🥰

Well, this was fun! It was such a privilege to be asked to record this episode with Kiki Kirby Coaching and I loved our chat.

Here are a few highlights:

🎤 Tips on finding the courage to share your story and where to begin.

✨ Finding inspiration.

💜 What heart-centred means to me.

🌳 Navigating life changes and what helps me slow down.

I hope you find it encouraging and helpful.

Click on the link in my bio to have a listen and let me know what you think.

I was brought up by two champion tea-drinkers.

Our house was littered with abandoned mugs half full of cold tea. I used to think this method of tea drinking was perfectly normal until I got married. Then I released that most people actually finish their hot drinks!

My parents still do this now - whenever they come to stay, half-drunk cups of tea start to appear all over the house. And apparently it’s in the genes because I do exactly the same thing, although I’ve now translated this habit into coffee drinking.

I enjoy a fun fact or two, so here are a few about tea:

1. Britain is one of the world’s biggest tea drinking nations, alongside Turkey, Ireland and China.

2. When tea was first brought to Britain in the early 17th century, the government encouraged its consumption because of the revenue gained from taxing tea.

3. Tea has many different words such as ‘brew’, ‘cuppa’, ‘Rosy Lee’, ‘builders’ and ‘char’.

4. National Tea Day is also the late Queen Elizabeth II’s birthday.

And finally, most things feel a little better after a nice cup of tea.

Happy National Tea Day.

I was interviewed on a podcast yesterday and this was one question I was asked:

What inspires you?

I love this question! Surrounding ourselves with things, people or places that inspire us is so important as entrepreneurs and leaders.

Inspiration gives us energy, it feeds our creativity and nourishes our brains.

But like most things, we need to be intentional about it. Here are 3 things that inspire me:

🌳 Nature. Being outside helps me slow down and notice what’s around me. The inspiration is endless.

🎨 Art. This happens less often, but I find inspiration when I immerse myself in a painting, photograph or sculpture.

🎧 Other people’s stories. Obvs. Reading or hearing stories of ordinary people living with courage is wonderfully inspiring.

Can you think of 3 things, people or places that inspire you? How can you be more intentional about putting these things in your path this week?

Your content should sound like YOU.

Why is this important? Because as an entrepreneur or leader (or both), your content is a powerful opportunity to show your audience who you are and what you're about. Often it's tempting to try to sound like other people. I've been there!

But the truth is, it never benefits you, your audience or your content.

Why? Because your people want to hear your voice, not someone else’s.

Creating content that sounds like you is like giving your audience a window into who you are and what you stand for. It draws them closer and deepens the connection.

So how can you make sure your content sounds just like you and not someone else? Here are a few tips to try:

🌟 Write down 5 words you like to use when you speak. If you’re not sure, ask someone who knows you well. Use those words more.

🌟 Read your writing aloud. Does it flow and sound like you?

🌟 Imagine how you’d chat to someone over a coffee. If you’re not sure what you’d say, start with a couple of easy questions like, ‘What are you enjoying at the moment?’ or, ‘Tell me about what you do?’

🌟 Think about your facial expression as you read your content. Does it feel light and joyful, or more serious? What tone feels best?

🌟 Write about something you want to talk about! If you feel at ease about your topic, this will come across to your audience.

Why don’t you try one of these tips in your content this week? Let me know which one works best for you.

I’ve been off the content wagon for 2 weeks, which has been hugely beneficial. I’ve had a clearer head, more space for creativity and being present in the moment, and less time on social media.

The benefits of unplugging are important. But the challenge for me is plugging back in. I sense a reluctance to get back on the wagon! It feels difficult.

Today, I’ve found myself thinking:

What if I’ve forgotten how to create content?

What if people have forgotten I exist_ (not sure who these ‘people’ are, by the way).

And perhaps worst of all: What if I have nothing to say?

Have you ever had a break from creating (content or anything else) and you find it difficult to get going again?

If the answer is yes, you might find these tips helpful:

- Keep it simple. Today is not the day for a long and complex blog post. A short piece will do just fine. Even better if it feels fun.

- Go back to your content pillars/bank of ideas. If you don’t know what this is, let me know and I’ll write something about that!
- Ask yourself: what’s one small way I can serve my audience today? Do that.

Today, I’m back on the content wagon :)

And the funny thing is once I put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) I enjoyed writing this short piece and it wasn’t as difficult as I feared it would be.

Let me know if this resonates with you and I hope you find these tips helpful.

I’ll be back again soon.

Time for a week off the socials to focus on a creative project… see you in a week or so 👋🏼😊.

I've read some interesting posts about International Women's Day today. On one hand, it feels like it's a bandwagon that shouldn't need to exist. But on the other hand, it's a lovely opportunity to champion and celebrate other women.

I can't name you all, and I won't try! But so many names have sprung to mind today - women who have listened to me, championed me, cared for me and inspired me throughout my life.

So, to all women out there - keep doing what you're doing, keep being yourselves and keep showing up with courage. You're doing a great job. Be proud.

💜 💫 💪🏼

P.S. Pic of me with two amazing women in the making.

Can you think of a time you felt heard? When someone stopped and listened to your story?

How did it feel?

One of my love languages is quality time. Actually, I’d add to that: quality time *and attention*. When someone really listens to what I have to say, I feel valued and energised. And as an introvert, sometimes I need a little coaxing to voice my opinion, as I often find it easier to keep quiet and listen to what’s being said around me instead!

Being heard is a powerful thing. If you’re the one speaking, you might feel valued, understood and given space to express what’s inside you. And if you’re listening, you’ll receive the gift of experiencing and understanding someone else’s unique point of view.

So here’s my encouragement to you today:

1. Be heard. Give yourself the courage and permission today to share your story with someone else. What you share may be the message that person needs to hear.

2. Lend someone your time and attention. Listen to their story with curiosity. You never know how you might connect to what they say.

Happy World Book Day!

Books have always been an important part of my life. I used to read several books a week when I was a child, mostly borrowed from the library.

One of my happiest bookish memories is sitting in the branches of the magnolia tree at the front of our house for hours, completely immersed in the magical worlds I found in the pages of a book.

I think that’s why I love words and stories so much - the best ones can invite you into another world and sweep you away on a journey of discovery.

What’s the most memorable book you read as a child and why?

It’s Share a Smile Day today!

Smiling was one tip someone gave me when I ran the London Marathon last year. When the going gets tough (and it did), remember to smile. It certainly gave me a boost and people smiled back! It’s such an easy yet powerful thing to do.

What was the last thing that made you smile?