Camilla Grainger Cognitive Behavioural Therapist

As many of you are aware the last couple of months have been hard with my dad at end of life with cancer. I have had a lot of time off, and having to cancel last minute and I just want to say how I appreciate everyone at the schools I work at, my clients in private practice and my students at uni you have all been so understanding and kind ♥️ To all my year 6s this week i am thinking of you and so proud of you all.. Hoping to see you all soon and thank you for understanding 🦋♥️

🕊️ Dealing with the loss of a loved one due to alcohol, drug or gambling issues can be incredibly difficult. At DrugFAM, founded by bereaved mother Elizabeth Burton-Phillips, MBE, 18 years ago after losing her son to he**in addiction, we understand the pain of bereavement and offer tailored support to help you navigate this journey of healing. 🕊️

Our specialist bereavement team is here to provide compassionate assistance, whether it's through one-to-one sessions, group support, or our helpline. You don't have to face this alone.

Begin by calling our helpline on 0300 888 3853. Our team is available to listen and support you from 9am to 9pm, seven days a week, 365 days a year.

Remember, healing is a process, and it's okay to seek support along the way. We're here to walk this path with you. 💙

Most definitely 💯

Thank you Roger Lee Quotes needed this reminder ♥️

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

Is most likely an innate feature of ADHD ( neurological and genetic) at present under researched but very common and very painful, and not thought to be caused by trauma.

We all experience rejection or perceived rejection and criticism but for people with RSD it is extremely overwhelming and emotionally painful. The sudden change of being ok and getting on with life then to feeling intensely sad can be mistaken for a mood disorder when in fact RSD is a common ADHD trait especially in adults.
How some cope with this is in two ways, they can become people pleasers or they stop trying and avoid.

What can it look like?

- Intense feelings of depression, anxiety and hurt.
- Self harm, suicidal ideation and self sabotage .
- It can also be challenging in relationships if partner does not understand

What can you do to help someone ?

- More reassurance
- Don’t minimise or ignore their feelings
- Communication needs to be honest, fair and clear

Left on unread 💔
Are they mad at me?💔
They hate me?💔
I’m not good enough💔
I’m damaged💔

Been told you’re too sensitive? Take things to heart too much?

Personally i feel it’s the hardest part of ADHD and the most difficult to explain.

Reminder you are loved ♥️

Photo by Jen Henry ♥️

⭐️New group sessions!coming soon…

Understanding The Impact Of Addiction On Children

Drug and alcohol addiction have just as much an impact on the family as the person abusing substances, it’s a family disease. Children living with alcoholic parents can face various dangers and challenges, both physical and emotional. The experiences that these children are being exposed to or been exposed to is traumatising. That trauma changes their delicate brain chemistry, putting them at serious risk for many later-in-life issues and emotions that they find confusing.
This week I have had two children that I work with feel that they are alone and want to meet others who have been In this situation or are going through it themselves. So I am putting on some group sessions in the new year with my colleague Linzi Gibbs who is also a highly experienced counsellor.

Children who live with addiction can experience tremendous benefits from being in a support group.

If you feel you need any help talking to a child about addiction and need any advice please feel free to contact me.

All my love Camilla 🦋

The drama triangle 🔺

The Karpan’s drama triangle describes dysfunctional relationships where the people in the relationship shift between these three roles

These are the players PERSECUTOR- RESCUER- VICTIM
Usually it’s the victim or the persecutor who enlists a rescuer to play.
In this game, it is about power and it is their response to conflict. Unfortunately this game is harmful as it creates conflict, solves absolutely nothing only more conflict and hurt.

I think we can all say we have been pulled in or even created this game ourselves and it really can be detrimental to relationships.

If you find yourself in this situation you need to come away from the points of the triangle and move towards the centre.

⭐️In this place you can assert instead of persecute

⭐️You can care but not take over

⭐️You are vulnerable but now a victor not a victim

To leave and have a more clear and healthy relationship pattern…

Don’t be a Persecutor 🛑be a challenger and be accountable for yourself.

Don’t be a victim 🛑 Be a thriver and problem solve and state what you need and take action.

Don’t be a rescuer 🛑 Be a coach with clear healthy support. You care that’s fine but others are capable and need their own power.

I use this In so much of my work and it really does help to be aware

Quick drawing I have done to show the roles.

Hope this helps anyone who feels they are stuck in this game

All my love Camilla ♥️

It’s your life 🦋

We have choices… look for problems you will find even more problems…

Choose to focus on what’s going right in your life and that will make you feel amazing 🤩

Photo for attention 🤣 she’s just too bloody cute ♥️

How to make your world a better place to be?

Get a dog 🤣 or if you can’t Check your soil… if a flower was in bad soil, not getting any Sunlight, attention and care it would not thrive so apply this to your life.

The people around you, we want inspiring people who want the best for us not people who drag you down.

Comparing ? Break from social media and remember we are not better then anyone just different.

Sleep and routine is important you should need between 7 and 9 hours. The Amygdala in your brain will be more reactive and your be more miserable.

Your to do list? What can wait..

I will be happy when syndrome

I will be happy when…. I lose a stone..
I will be happy when I get that job I want..

Guilty of delaying joy! ?
Is it really the key to feeling fulfilled having a better paid job?
A bigger house?

No all we are doing is delaying joy and saying I can’t be happy now.
That’s not saying do not have goals as these are important too but live in the moment 🦋
Happiness is an inside job.

It has been a very difficult time for me the last couple of years, but as hard as it’s been this is where I have grown as a person, learnt things about myself and healed emotional wounds.
I know I will have my hard times but I also know I am happy and can get through them. Being grateful is one of the keys to happiness, I encourage all my clients to do this daily. This really does re wire your brain to seek the positive in life and not the negative.
Everyone has their hardships and it’s important to remember even the ones who seem strong hurt too. One of the things I’m grateful for today has been seeing my mums friend Anne who I hadn’t seen for years, a real inspiration and proof that life can be changed and you can start healing and that we are all connected 💫

This is why I love my job 🦋now my client is in a really good place and achieving all his goals

Reference:

I was connected with Camilla Grainger through my company employee support program, when I had reached out for help, regarding a severe work stress situation, affecting my wellbeing. Camilla puts you at ease very quickly and is accommodating and flexible in arranging sessions. The counselling I received from Camilla has made a huge difference to me, providing coping techniques and helping me to rebuild my self-confidence, which had taking a beating during the previous 9 months. I am now much better equipped to be able to deal with stressful situations and I know that if I need further support, Camilla will be there.

On my lunch break I met this lovely lady who works at Breast Cancer Now
The research and support charity.
You can donate if you wish, but I wanted to share this as it is close to my heart. Stacey was my best friend who sadly lost her battle last month, but I also have other friends that have been diagnosed recently so here is a number and email for those of you who are having treatment or someone you love is.

It really does help
My inbox is always open too ♥️

❤️

Onyx the tortoise enjoying his time in sessions and loving his shell being stroked 🤣😍

We are looking for two Teaching Assistants for 25 Hours and 50 minutes per week (5 full days desirable, but there is also the possibility of a job share). The salary starts at £11.59 per hour, with some additional midday supervisor hours on top of the above.

Please be aware that the school is committed to safeguarding and promoting the welfare of children and young people and expects all staff and volunteers to share this commitment. These posts are therefore subject to an Enhanced DBS Disclosure.

To find out more or to come and visit us, please contact the school on 02476 543751 for details and an application form

Closing Date: Monday 30th October at 4pm

Such a lovely little boy 🦋
Now off for a new life in France 💕

Hi Camilla,

I want you to let you know that I have seen such a positive change in Thomas since you met with him regularly after his daddy died. Thank you very much for that, you’ve been a great support and I can only recommend you very strongly.

Kind regards,

Tintin the Therapy Dog 🐕🐾

Loved his hour walk and talk this morning ( Eco -Therapy 💙🦋

Movement decreases anxiety

Regulates mood

Makes you happier!

Lots of benefits including reaping all the benefits of nature 🍀☘️🍃🍂🍁

And helps TinTin to lose all the weight he has put on thanks to Grandad and his daily treats!

Endings….

So many tears this week in schools, with staff leaving and children moving up to secondary schools, separations from family and friends due to illness etc…
One of my favourite books which helps me is The invisible string.

An invisible unbreakable connection, although you can’t always be with a loved one or a safe person, you can feel it in your heart 💕
You are always connected to everyone you love.

Love is the unending connection that’s binds us all 💕

My door is never closed

It’s been a while so thought while the children are on a school trip I would do a post about the window of Tolerance..

Imagine a Thermometer! The best place is to be in the middle. The optimal zone where we feel connected, relaxed and emotionally regulated.

When we experience trauma our nervous system becomes focused on the threat, when this happens we can go into hyperarousal which can make us feel anxious, angry or panic.
We can also go into hypoarousal where we can feel depressed, feel hopeless and just want to hide away and disconnect.

In hyperarousal we need to calm our fight or flight response, so for children this could be drawing, breathing exercises like 7-11 breathing, in for 7 out for 11, the longer breath out triggers our parasympathetic response!
My favourite the hot chocolate, pretend your smelling your hot chocolate and then cooling it down with blowing on it.
Even blowing bubbles with little children works 🫧

In hypoarousal we need connection. So that could be going for a walk, using essential oils (probably my go to as I am an Aromatherapist too! Try it it works!)
Chewing crunchy foods
Movement - Anything just move
Music and even rocking

⭐️ Pay attention to your symptoms

⭐️ Identify symptoms you experience

⭐️Distress Level

⭐️ Identify the cause

Be kind to your self 💕
The more trauma and lack of attachment we have had the more we can swing between hyper aroused and hypo aroused. With traumatised children this can happen several times a day which I see often.

[email protected]
07538550866

Me when I was in my optimal zone
Not so much lately! 😫

Please like and share our brand new course coming this summer for young people. Educating children young about the importance of their mental health is paramount to their future.

Just so chill 😎

Joins my clients for their counselling sessions and ends up like this 😂💙

Source: Kids Connect Psychology