RelateAble

Thanks to whoever left this in Ballyannan woods today ❤️🌳

Many of you may by now be aware of the controversy surrounding some of the books available on loan in some public libraries. In NO shape or form do I agree with the direct action style of protests that have been going on in libraries in recent months - I personally don't think it's fair on the front line library staff. I know one book in particular, This Book Is Gay, by Juno Dawson, has been particularly highlighted as being very s*xually explicit. I actually ordered this book myself a couple of months ago from my local library (as they apparently don't keep a copy in house) so that I could see for myself exactly what the book comprised of. In my opinion, a small portion of it is VERY crude and VERY s*xually explicit. I also dislike the whimsical, almost childish overall tone of the book and the use of rather juvenile slang words for various s*xual acts. I know there was a lot of talk about this particular book being displayed in the children's section of Cork city library. I don't know if this was the case in the past but certainly when I popped into the library on the Grand Parade on Monday, it is not in the children's section - for those who may not be aware and for anyone that might be concerned, the children's section is actually a separate and distinct room from the adult section of the library. Within the adult section of the library, it seems to be displayed in a young adult section. I am genuinely unclear as to what age group Cork City Council/library feels constitutes a young adult. The book is slightly puzzling in this regard as it talks about adults The parts of the book that I feel are unsuitable for children and younger teenagers are primarily the parts giving instructions on how to download dating apps and how to engage in s*x acts. I don't agree with the style of protest that has been going on in recent months AND as I have said previously, I started RelateAble as I wanted to empower parents with the skills and knowledge to impart their own values and beliefs to their children. This book is freely available from Cork City library and can be ordered from Midleton library - why not take a look and decide for yourself? Remember, you are the expert on your child ❤️

People often joke about 'The Talk' and I like to say that ideally 'The Talk' shouldn't happen. Rather, it's better for children and in particular for children with intellectual disabilities that a series of regular, gradual, age appropriate conversations take place around s*xuality and s*x as a child goes through various stages of childhood. Children with intellectual disabilities oftentimes need to have new information repeated constantly to help them remember the key learning points.

Happy World Down Syndrome Day! Hope everyone has a wonderful day and gives it socks!!

This is why I advise parents, where at all possible, to teach their child chronologically age appropriate skills i.e. the skills that ALL children/teenagers that age learn. These include closing the bathroom door to go to the toilet, not talking to anyone and everyone about the fact that you are having your period, wearing a bra/bra top, not touching your 'private parts' in public places etc. The harsh truth is that many people outside of your own family, special education school etc. won't care what developmental age your child is or what disability they have - they will just see socially inappropriate behaviour. All these skills can be developmentally adapted to your child e.g. social stories, role play etc. These are the kind of topics we discuss in my 2 hour presentation for Parents/teachers How to Talk to Your Child About S*xuality 🙂

Delighted to have hosted not one but two workshops today at Our Lady of Good Counsel Special School. A delightful bunch of young girls - a credit to both their families and teachers 🤗 We kicked off with a 2 hour Preparing for Puberty workshop for some of the girls earlier today followed by a presentation to parents later in the afternoon on How to Talk to Your Child About S*xuality. Thanks so much OLGC for having me 😊❤️

Did you know that the excellent, plain talking, 'Ellie' books - suitable for young women with Autism and related conditions, also come in a version for teenage boys/young men? The Tom books cover identical topics but from a male perspective. The Author Kate E. Reynolds along with the illustrator, have done a great job of writing a short, very easy to understand and explicit book on Public vs Private behaviour. I highly recommend both versions 👏

I bought this book earlier in the year on . This is a VERY explicit (you have been warned lol!!), straight talking, picture book (with short, easy to read sentences). It discusses ma********on and the concept of public Vs private behaviour (something I also discuss in SOME of my workshops/courses). This is book is aimed at teenage girls and young women with ASD and related conditions and I would highly recommend it.

Watching (age appropriate) cartoons with your child/young adult can be a great way to discuss the various types of relationships we might encounter in our day-to-day lives. The Simpsons runs the full gamut of relationships - from parents to siblings to grandparents, aunties, public relationships (local shop keeper Apu), neighbours (or should I say neighbourooneys 😂) Ned Flanders, Professional relationships (the police officer and the local GP) and many more. Other cartoons that come to mind is The Loud House and for much younger children I absolutely love the positive messages in Daniel Tiger's Neighbourhood 💖🐯

Have you got a daughter aged 9 plus? Does she know what to expect from puberty? Avoid any shocks or nasty surprises and book a place on my November Preparing for Puberty workshop in Cork city :-) Suitable for pre-pubescent girls aged 9+ with a moderate Intellectual Disability, this will be a fun, interactive workshop covering all aspects of puberty and with a particular emphasis on menstruation. €45 per person including light refreshments, certificate of attendance and a goody bag. Places are limited to 10 girls with limited mother-and-daughter rates available. For more information contact [email protected] or PM me here :-)

With Halloween around the corner there's likely to be lots of ghost stories, TV shows and films depicting creepy strangers and things that go bump in the night 😱🦇🎃 But did you know that teaching your child, particularly a child with an Intellectual Disability to be vigilant about 'Stranger Danger' can be counterproductive? There are a number of reasons for this. Firstly, strangers are everywhere 😃 - a bus driver, a supermarket check-out operator, a café/restaurant assistant are, technically speaking, strangers - we often don't know them. If a child or young person with an ID is given the message that they shouldn't talk to strangers, this can be confusing for them and they may take the idea very literally. Generally speaking, parents want their son or daughter to be as independent as possible and teaching your child to be afraid of members of the public as a matter of course, can negatively affect him/her acquiring independent living skills. Secondly, due to the high turnover of staff in Social Care work, your son or daughter may have no choice but to be supported by virtual strangers - temporary, relief or agency staff. Thirdly and very unfortunately, most children are abused by someone they know - not a stranger or a 'bogey man' type character. Probably one of the most affecting things I have read in my study of RSE thus far is the concept of an abuser firstly grooming a parent before they groom a child 😢 This is why it is SO important to be able to talk openly and honestly with you child about s*x and s*xuality. It is also vital to equip your child with a sense of bodily autonomy and to ensure that they understand the concept of privacy, appropriate touch in different types of relationships and who they can talk to if they feel something is 'off'.

For those of you who maybe be interested in my educational background and professional qualifications, here you go :-) I am also Garda vetted, fully insured and I am a member of Social Care Ireland. As well as the above mentioned qualifications, I have also completed Children First training.

A little bit about me!

When you hear the phrase 'relationship' what first comes to mind? If you're like many other people - including young adults with intellectual disabilities, maybe the first thing that springs to mind is romantic relationships. In fact, a relationship can be described simply as a connection between two or more people. It's important that your child or young adult knows the various types of relationships that we can have -family, friends, public (e.g. sales assistants, bus drivers, neighbours) professional (e.g. GP, OT, Physio) AND romantic. More importantly is that they understand the different types of touch that are appropriate/inappropriate to each different type of relationship. This something I discuss in my Relationships and S*xuality (RSE) workshops. For more information see www.RelateAble.org

Happy to announce a November date for my Preparing for Puberty workshop - November 12th, same time and venue (St. Dominic's Meditation Centre, Montenotte, Cork) €45 per person which includes a goody bag, certificate of attendance and light refreshments. Limited Mother-and-daughter rates available - please DM for more details. For more information email [email protected]

Happy Down Syndrome Awareness month!

When people hear the word s*xuality, they tend to immediately think of s*x. So, what is the difference between s*x and s*xuality? S*x can refer to the physical act of engaging in s*xual in*******se. It can also refer to the identity a person is assigned at birth based on one's genitalia - usually Male or Female. S*xuality is much broader and can includes how one feels about their body as well as the s*xual orientation by which ones identifies e.g. homos*xual or heteros*xual. A person's s*xuality also includes his or her attitudes, values, knowledge and behaviour's. People can express their s*xuality in different ways - we are all s*xual beings but not every s*xual being has s*x. To put it another way, it could be said that s*x is between the legs but s*xuality is between the ears 😂 Any questions ? Just ask and I'll do my best to answer them ❤️

A sneak peak into my upcoming workshop Preparing for Puberty on Saturday August 27th. This will be a plain talkin', practical, interactive workshop comprising of a mixture of demonstrations, opportunities for participants to practice, short animated films and group discussions. Places are limited to 10 people and cost is €45 per person which includes a goody bag, certificate of attendance and light refreshments. For more information email [email protected] 😊

Looking forward to hosting my first workshop in Montenotte, Cork on Saturday August 27th. This will be a practical, hands on workshop for girls aged 9+ with moderate ID. €45 per person includes a goody bag, certificate of attendance and light refreshments. Limited to max. 10 participants to allow ease of learning/understanding. For more information email [email protected] 😊

RelateAble updated their business hours.

It's now easier to send RelateAble a message.