Norah Finn Therapy

FINAL REMINDER
Calling all Instructors and CRTR Certified.
Save the Date: 14 September 2024 for a FACULTY PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT SESSION on THE NEW REALITY THERAPY.

To REGISTER: https://mailchi.mp/wglasserinternational/professional-development-day

THERAPY IS NOT HARD 💜
Therapy is an equal therapeutic relationship of respect, growth, and empowerment between two adult people. A safe and therapeutic space for the client to explore self. Ask anyone who engages in therapy “is therapy hard”, and they’ll tell you no. That it’s the best thing they ever did for themselves. That therapy and their therapist is a part of their support system.

Let’s be careful about how we promote the therapeutic process. Suggesting therapy is hard is not giving the right message about what therapy is really about. Therapy, like anything, is only hard if someone doesn’t want to engage in the process.

Therapy is something a self aware human being engages in. They are there because they choose to be. They are there because they are attempting to understand deeper who they are and why and how they operate as human beings. They are on a journey to free themselves from the unconscious patterns that keep them stuck.

Avoidance is hard. Therapy is not hard. Therapy is a beautiful journey of self exploration and growth. You don’t attend therapy because you’re in a crisis situation, although that can certainly be a reason why you do, but most people attend therapy because they are on a lifelong journey of awareness.

We all benefit from understanding self on a deeper level. Therapists also engage in the process of therapy. Living with repeated patterns that do not serve us is hard. Therapy is not hard. 💜

THE MOMENT WE THINK WE’RE RIGHT, WE’RE WRONG 💜
Everyone’s entitled to their perception of events. We don’t have a right to “fix” anyones choices on how they wish to live. We don’t have a right to change anyones way of viewing this world. When we’re focused on taking personal responsibility for our own life we don’t have the time to be focused on how others are living theirs.

We’re all doing the best we can do with what we have. We’re all trying to live in this world. Wish others well, then get on with your own life. It’s a much more productive way to use your energy. Look after your own business, then leave others alone to look after their business. If our opinion or suggestions are needed, I’m pretty sure they’ll be requested.

Until then, looking after our own business appears to be a compassionate, wise and responsible choice. 💜

What a beautiful season. There always comes a season for letting go in our life. We let go when we accept that things are just as they are. That we cannot change what happened yesterday. That we cannot change how others respond to situations. Letting go involves us letting go of the hope that things could have been different. When we let go we create space for the things that are waiting to come. Keep moving forwards in your life. The pace doesn’t matter, just make sure you keep putting one foot in front of the other. 💜

SMALL CONSISTENT STEPS COMPLETES THE MARATHON 💜
Do you remember the turtle? It’s not important that we win, but if we really want someone, it’s important that we start. Criticizing and blaming others will never get us what we want. Criticizing and blaming yourself will never get you what you want.

Nobody but you is responsible for your life. There are no quick fixes. If we want our life to work we need to make it work. Action! We can talk about our situation, what we want, etc, but if we want it to happen we gotta get up and take action. We cannot talk or think a good life into existence.

I’m not negating anyone’s suffering. The true definition of courage and bravery is getting up after the fall and trying again. If we keep doing what we’re doing we’ll keep getting what we’ve got. If it’s not working, try something different.

September is recovery month. We’re all in recovery. Let’s start letting go of some behaviors that don’t serve us and replacing them with some new behaviors that do. Baby steps. It’s not a race.

Therapy supports us in our recovery. 💜

Advanced students of Glasserian psychology having a well deserved break. Great to be with Choice Theory people. 💜

THE CHOICE IS YOURS! 💜
One set of habits will bring you closer to those around you, the other will move you further apart. You choose!

LETS NOT VICTIM BLAME 💜
It is always wise to look inwards. To ask yourself how you ended up in the situation you’re in. To empower yourself in a way that you have the best chance to not repeat unhealthy patterns.

But that doesn’t mean that you take responsibility for another’s mistreatment or abuse of you. No matter what happens in this life, no one, ever, has a right or an excuse to treat you in a manner that they would not find acceptable for themselves.

If you’ve been abused in your life, that hurt is hard enough to deal with without you abusing yourself by blaming yourself. Nothing you could have done gave another reason to abuse you. They are responsible for their behavior. Do not gaslight yourself.

Education is power. Recovery from abuse becomes clearer when we begin to educate ourself around the toxic power play that takes place in an abusive relationship. Don’t leave this to chance. Until we understand it we cannot break free from it. Without support and education we’ll repeat the pattern. We cannot heal what we cannot see clearly.

Don’t struggle alone. Reach out. Seek support from a trained professional. Make a step to break the chains that bind you. 💜

Choice theory in fast and furious 💜

Choice Theory Fast and Furious 8 Choice Theory from Fast And Furious 8 movie (The Fate of the Furious)Charlize Theron as CipherOther Movie Quotes:* https://youtu.be/KLhXDO6JZ6s?si=PzJ13yemLi...

FOR THE CHILD TO LEARN, LEARNING NEEDS TO BE FUN 💜
We learn what we’re passionate about! Our brain is only set up to retain information that is useful for us. If it doesn’t add quality, then we’re not learning. When we find the subject we’re passionate about, we’ll never have a problem learning about it.

The educator is vital in this process. The student needs to put the teacher in their quality world and vice versa for the process of learning to work. For the child, adolescent, adult, to learn, the school/college and the educator needs to be firmly placed in the students quality world. It is up to the system and the educator to create this learning environment.

We might remember this as we send our precious small humans off to school this week. There is no child that can fail at learning. If they do, it is the system/educator that failed the child. A good educator provides a caring and emotionally safe environment where every student can achieve.

I wish all the parents and their precious little treasures so much fun as you send them off into their learning environment this week. A big time for you all. May they come out of school as happy as you sent them in.💜

CAN YOU DISAPPOINT OTHERS? 💜
We live in a world where not everyone will like us. Can you live with that? If you live your life in ways that you’re working really hard so as not to disappoint others, you’ll end up an exhausted human being.

Approval addiction is soul destroying. Can you say no? Can you say I don’t want to do that? This doesn’t work for me anymore? I don’t wish to continue? I don’t agree? Etc. If you can’t say directly what you want or don’t want then you’re always going to be disappointed.

It’s up to you to meet your needs. To express what your choices are. Those who are comfortable meeting their own needs will love this. It makes for easy living. It allows straight forward honest and clear communication. Anything else is codependency.

Codependency is when another attempts to guilt or shame you for making decisions that are right for you. You do not need anyone’s permission to meet your needs. You are not responsible or accountable for another’s wellbeing.

Can you disappoint another in order to not disappoint yourself? Therapy supports us on our journey of shedding ineffective ways of relating with self and others in this world. 💜

WE’RE ALL DOING OUR VERY BEST 💜
Who are we to judge anyone? Anyone can be down on their luck. Anyone can be unfortunate enough to be in the wrong mindset in the wrong place and time. Anyone can make poor choices.

“There but for the grace of God walk I”. There are none of us above making poor choices just like anyone else. Seeing yourself as morally superior is setting yourself up for a fall. If we don’t humble ourself, life will.

If we don’t develop compassion, this universe will aspire to teach it to us. Therapy supports us in unraveling the shadow side of self. The side of us that we hide from this world.

Those inner judgements of others is only a taste of how we’re judging ourself at a deep and subconscious level. A lack of compassion towards others is a projection of our deep inner self judgement.

Stop the cycle. No one can thrive or survive in an environment of judgement. It murders the soul. Stay humble in real and honest conversations. We are no different than the worst sinner or the greatest saint. Compassion happens in real, open, and honest conversations.

Therapy supports us on your journey. Don’t struggle alone. 💜

If our mindset is constantly negative and fearful, maybe we need a change from who we’re hanging around with. That vibe is contagious. Your life is precious. Spend it with those who light you up. 💜

IT IS HEALTHY TO BE VULNERABLE 💜
Whether it’s abandonment, neglect, abuse, caregivers that were not available, a difficult event, etc, every one of us have experienced some type of trauma in this life. It’s not the trauma that will leave us with psychological damage, but how the world around us responded to our pain and suffering. If the child lacks support from a responsible adult, they will begin to self soothe. They’ll continue doing that right into their adult life perceiving vulnerability to be a dangerous and unreliable emotion.

Relationships require open and honest communication. Vulnerability is a healthy emotion to share with those that you are close with. Unless we work through our fears of being vulnerable, and experiencing our own vulnerability, all of our interpersonal relationships will suffer. Therapy supports us in unraveling the patterns that keep us stuck. 💜

BEAUTIFUL THINGS HAPPEN IN CALM MINDS 💜
Our mind is a tool that can be our greatest friend, or our biggest enemy. We get to choose how we’ll employ it. Our ability to return to what is happening right here, right now, is our superpower.

We cannot change one thing of what this world brings to us today. Our true peace of mind comes when we breathe and know that we do get to choose how we’ll respond to it. Letting it go is always a mentally healthy choice. 💜

Ah Nell. May you journey well sister! Nell was outspoken about women’s rights. The face and voice of Irish feminism and for those who suffered injustice. I absolutely loved hearing anything that Nell had to say. She was unflinching in her values and beliefs. Nell, thank you for all you did for the women of Ireland. In your own words, “Goodnight Sister”. You will be sadly missed. 💜

“YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD CHILD” 💜
We have grown in awareness in parenting children. No longer will we hear people tell a child that they are a “bad” child. We know that label is detrimental to a child’s development of self. But have we thought about the price a child will pay for being pressured or labeled to be a “good” child?

Often the rebel in the family got a lot of focus and attention. The “good” kid behaved so as to not cause further stress to the system. That’s a big weight on a child. Those “good” kids were filled with anxiety. Super conscious of doing everything right and doing the right thing. Those “good” kids were filled with anxiety that they carried alone. Terrified of making mistakes or getting into trouble. They just wanted all the fighting to stop so they made sure that they became peace keepers and problem solvers. Does it ring a bell?

If you took up this role in your family you paid a high price for that. Therapy supports us in learning that it’s ok to break rules. It’s ok to live life outside of the box. It’s ok to say “no”. It ok to do have your needs met too. These patterns, unless addressed, can lead a person on a path of continued stress and anxiety. It doesn’t have to be that way.

You have a right to live your life freely and fully. If some conditioning you got as a child hinders you in your adult life, then it’s time to find a new way of living. You write the script now! 💜

SOBER IS A LIFESTYLE CHOICE 💜
Sobriety is not just about drugs and alcohol. It’s about detoxing from anger, fear, resentment, hate, insecurities, etc. it’s not about giving anything up, it’s about taking everything back. Taking back your peace of mind, personal freedom, your right to choose a healthy lifestyle and healthy relationships for yourself.

Our culture is changing. People are realizing that there’s a lot more to be lived from life than wasting their beautiful life nursing a hangover or a come down from drugs. People don’t want to half live their life anymore. They want to be fully awake. Sober, in every sense of the word.

You do not have to explain or justify your sobriety to anyone. Some people choose sobriety because they know the pain and destruction they’ve caused themselves and others through substance abuse. Many people who were never alcohol or drug dependent choose not to use mood altering substances because they want to be sober in their life.

Whichever your reason for choosing sobriety, it’s your right to choose a healthy lifestyle without having to face an investigation from others as to why. Sober - a way to live life fully while not being intoxicated by anyone or anything! It sounds like a healthy choice to me!

Therapy supports us in looking at the addictive patterns in our life. Don’t struggle alone. 💜

INTUITION IS NOT A MYSTICAL PROCESS, IT’S YOUR BODY DOING WHAT IT WAS BUILT TO DO. 💜
Intuition is a subconscious process that’s constantly taking in information and making split-second decisions.

The enteric nervous system that regulates our gut is often called the body’s “second brain.” This extensive network uses the same chemicals and cells as the brain to help us digest, but also to alert the brain when something is amiss.

Intuition is not something we develop. We’re born with it. There’s nothing mystical about it. Every human has an enteric nervous system. Paying attention and the expression of our feelings is vital to our survival in this world.

Therapy supports us to explore how we feel. The process of turning inwards and paying attention to our feelings increases personal insights and helps us to connect with the subconscious.

It brings home the message “you gotta feel it to heal it”. Don’t let anyone negate your feelings. Our feelings allow us to stay safe in this world. Don’t ignore any feelings you have. Feelings are your inner wisdom speaking to you. 💜

If you can get your hands on this book, amazing! Very choice theoryish. The philosophical approach of viewing your life through this lens invites so much personal freedom, responsibility, accountability. An oldie, but a fantastic book. A book that I’d say is vital to read in this lifetime. Living well really is an art 💜

START YOUR WEEK ON THE RIGHT FOOT 💜
We all need to tell our story. When was the last time you listened to another’s?
We all need to be encouraged. When was the last time you encouraged another?
We all need someone to clap out loud for us. When was the last time you promoted or praised another?

We receive what we put out there in this world. It’s hard to focus on internal misery when we’re on our feet connecting and supporting others. Life ain’t all about us. Realizing that is our personal freedom! 💜

MANIPULATIVE RELATIONSHIPS WILL KILL YOUR SOUL💜
Can you feel the breath of fresh air that will come when you let it go? Letting go is a super power. Be prepared to work for what you have, but if it’s continually hard work, then it’s not working. If you’ve tried to improve a situation and getting nowhere, let it go! Create space for what’s waiting to walk into your life.

Manipulators use passive aggressive tactics to relate. They listen, agree, even apologize, then give a victim story as to why they behaved as they have. If you support them in their tears they’ll believe they’re off the hook. They attempt to induce guilt in you for attempting to talk about the situation while they’re going through such a bad time. If you don’t let it go, they accuse you of cruelty because you approached them when they were going through such a bad time. But not to your face of course. They’ll smile at you, but express how unreasonable you are behind your back. Manipulators rarely take accountability or responsibility to create change within themselves.

The best you can do is uphold your personal boundaries. You’ll need to remind them again and again of what you’ve agreed. But it rarely changes. Manipulators will always please themselves without much regard for you, sometimes they’re not even aware they’re doing this, it’s their way of being. Eventually, it will get to a stage where for your own mental health you’ll need to give an ultimatum. They’ll listen, even agree. When you stand by that ultimatum they’ll act shocked. They cannot believe you’re doing this to them. How could you? They feel entitled to behave as they do. They’ll become angry. Even threatening. Here you’ll see the truth of who they are coming out. This is where you’ll need to keep yourself safe.

You are not a fool for getting caught up in this dynamic. You were conned. It takes time to get to know someone. They didn’t tell you this is how they behave when you met them. Educate yourself around manipulation and passive aggressive dynamics. Get therapeutic support. Unhealthy relationships take a huge toll on your overall wellness. 💜

WHY DOES THIS HELP US GET THE BEST OUT OF OUR DAY? Well, for me anyway, when I have a good hair and make up and nice outfit day, I stay moving. I’m finished work and ready to go again. Why? Because you can’t waste a good hair and outfit day! Happy Friday. I wish you a weekend filled with fun and connection, and good hair and outfit days! 💜

GENERATIONAL HEALING 💜
The next FAMILY SYSTEMS CONSTELLATION WORKSHOP will be on Saturday 7th September, 10-5. Contact Norah on 0851277002 to discuss if this workshop would be suitable for you and to secure your place. Places for this workshop fill up quickly so please don’t hesitate to get in touch if you’re interested.

Our journey through therapy is to heal the past, present, and future generations. Until we heal what’s behind us we’ll blindly carry it forward into what’s ahead of us. We are each responsible to live a life free from suffering. That’s the only worthwhile inheritance we’ll pass to our children.
7 hours CPD available 💜

WE CAN OBSERVE, BUT WE DON’T HAVE TO PARTICIPATE 💜
In a world that constantly speeds up and fills us with distractions, learning to be still and present is a true gift that we can give to self. We cannot live a content life unless we learn to be still and present.

Breathe. We don’t have to fix everything. If we didn’t break it, it’s not our job to fix it. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what’s required. Learn to observe life. Don’t allow yourself become entangled in chaos.

Therapy invites us to slow down. To take responsibility for self and to allow others to take responsibility for themselves. It is not our job to fix anyone but ourself. 💜

WHO AM I? 💜
Therapy is a journey back home to ourselves. It’s not a quick fix, in fact, it’s not a “fix” at all, you are not broken. Therapy is about understanding who you are, how you operate, how you respond in situations, how you express what you want and need, how you relate with others in this world, and ultimately how you relate with yourself.

Do everything that promotes your wellness. If it works for you, do it. Let no one advise you on your life. But don’t overlook the benefits of talk therapy. It’s not something you do for a period of time. It’s something that’s interwoven into your self care support plan. Having a therapeutic space to be able to sit and be heard and work life out is vital to us all.

How do you self care? There is a time to be active, and there is a time to be still. Can you sit with your feelings? Therapy is not about you getting answers, therapy is about allowing you to grow comfortable enough to be able to be still and present. Only then can we listen to our soul. Only then can we access our inner wisdom. 💜

WE DON’T NEED TO FORCE ANYTHING. And definitely not the truth. It will always come out in the end. In the meantime, just move on with your beautiful life. 💜

LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS EASY 💜
Pain is an inevitable part of life. And it generally hits when we least expect it. To recover we need to feel it, sit with it, grieve. We have a right and a need to do this.

But residing there permanently is not good for ourself or those we share our world with. Recovering from traumatic events is about personal responsibility and accountability.

For people who hold a victim mentality, it seems like sinking into negativity is easier than trying to save yourself. At the end of the day, the only one who can save us is ourself. Blaming others is avoidance of what we need to do. We do have the power within us for change.

Taking personal responsibility and accountability for what occurs in our own life is vital for us to lead a happy and stress free life. Help anyone that you can help in this life, but make sure that they’re helping themselves too. And make sure you’ve helped yourself first. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

Therapy supports us on our journey towards change. Spend time with those that encourage and support you on your path towards living your life in a healthy and joyous way. 💜

BEFORE YOU TAKE SOMEONES CHARACTER 💜
Stop and think. How would you like someone to talk about you in the manner you’re just about to engage in? Is what you’re about to say true, or is it just your truth? Be careful what you listen to. If you engage in it you’ll have to digest it.

If someone is talking negatively to you about someone else, it’s guaranteed they’ve already done that about you. Thats who they are and how they conduct themselves. If you listen and engage in that, that’s what you do. You won’t ever have a happy life when you surround yourself with low level toxicity.

There is not one of us that can afford to judge another. Remember that before taking a morally superior position. Moral superiority is when you cannot take responsibility for your own actions. When you cannot look inwards. You must hold that position to allow yourself take a victimized stance. That way, you can blame.

Someone who victimizes themself is in an abusive relationship with themself. How could they possibly have healthy relationships from this place. Living life well is an art. Surround yourself with people who are light, loving, kind, compassionate, and fun.

Therapy supports us on our journey in life. We learn to relate in this world in a way that brings joy and lightheartedness into our life. In this life, pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Stick with those that encourage you to smile and feel good about yourself. Anything less is misery. You can choose not to engage 💜

APPROVAL OF SELF IS A JOURNEY 💜
The only person you need to impress is yourself. It is not your job to please others. It’s not possible for everyone to like you, but when you like yourself you’re not reliant on the approval of others.

Once you approve of yourself you’re not interested in another’s opinion of you anymore. Giving up the need to please everyone around you is a sign that you’re taking care of yourself.

Loving self is a journey. We get better and better at it the more we unravel all the negative messages we received in our earlier life. Therapy supports us on our journey home to self. 💜