Affiance

One of the great insights of psychoanalysis is that relationships are never just a matter of whether two personalities match. We project our fantasies on to the other, then react with shock when it turns out they’re a real, flawed person – then, often as not, we leave to project the fantasy on to someone else. The problem with real-world relationships is that the truly good ones have bad parts and the truly bad ones have good parts. Deep down, you probably know which yours is. That’s not to say certain kinds of experts – therapists, mainly – can’t help you see what you already subconsciously know!
That's why a good pre —marriage course can be an invaluable method to face your flaws and your partner's flaws.

Hopefully the relationship with your loved one of whatever gender, is a healthy one. If not - walk!
Check out ’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/Womens_Aid/status/963682559006789632?ref_src=twcamp%5Eshare%7Ctwsrc%5Eandroid%7Ctwgr%5Edefault%7Ctwcon%5E7090%7Ctwterm%5E0

Women's Aid Ireland on Twitter “Women’s Aid is highlighting the dangers of dating abuse with a new campaign, Too Into You. Share our online quiz at https://t.co/xfikZH6aRI to help others spot the danger signs of an unhealthy relationship with a boyfriend or ex. https://t.co/JXOvWnXDRa”

I totally agree with this article, providing that you still treat each other in a respectful manner.
https://www.facebook.com/theguardian/posts/10156548951576323

Couples who argue together, stay together, research finds Bestselling author of Crucial Conversations says the biggest mistake couples make is avoidance

True love will always find a way 😍
https://www.theguardian.com/books/gallery/2017/mar/29/the-lovings-in-pictures?CMP=fb_gu

The Lovings, a marriage that changed history – in pictures In July 1958, Mildred and Richard Loving were arrested for in*******al marriage. Photographer Grey Villet spent time with them, years before their case brought down the law. Here are some of his images of the heroic lovers

Thich Nhat Hanh is a wise man, a great practitioner of Mindfulness who often has gems of wisdom for those considering marriage. This article has such advice. Take a few minutes to read and enjoy....
https://www.lionsroar.com/after-the-honeymoon/

After the Honeymoon Falling in love is easy, but staying in love takes work. Thich Nhat Hanh offers advice for cultivating a relationship that’s loving and strong.

Good communication is everything!The most politically incorrect pre-marriage course ever, but it still makes me laugh.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=upBOOlageUY

Gay Friendly Pre-Marriage Course - Foil Arms and Hog Gay Friendly Pre-Marriage Course - Foil Arms and Hog SUBSCRIBE: http://www.youtube.com/foilarmsandhog For LIVE GIGS & more check out FOIL ARMS & HOG on: WEBS...

"On a good day I am commited to you,
On a not so good day I am committed to our marriage
On a bad day I am committed to the commitment I made you"
Couples, gay or straight deal with exactly the problems in their married life. Marriage doesn't discriminate, it's tough for all to navigate! That's why a marriage preparation course can be invaluable. I'ts a massive commitment that you as a couple are making to each other. Regardless of how long you have been together as a couple, how long you have shared the same bed, emptied the same dishwasher, or argued over whose turn it was to clean up the dog poo in the garden (The s*xy stuff!) when you decide to make a legal commitment in front of family and friends and in the eyes of the state, that's a big undertaking, a public commitment, and it involves hard work from both parties.

I was listening to the radio this week about the positive news coming out from Australia regarding enshrining into law the right of gay couples to marry. Hopefully I am not being ageist when I write that a gentleman being interviewed on a 'vox pop' was a 'mature' age, he contended that gay and straight couples planning to marry had nothing in common. It was like comparing 'bananas and cucumbers' (I kid you not!). I thought long and hard about this...about 20 seconds, and deduced the following..

1. Married people are much happier and likely to be less unhappy than any other group of people.
2. Married people live up to eight years longer than divorced or never-married people.
3. Married people suffer less from long-term illnesses than those who are unmarried.
4. Married people are less likely to engage in unhealthy behaviour such as drug and alcohol abuse.
5. Married people have twice the amount of s*x as single people and report greater levels of satisfaction in the area of s*xual intimacy.
Gay or straight human beings have the same needs, wants and hopes, and marriage is still tough and rewarding for all human beings.

I have always been a big fan of TED talks, this is one of their better talks on the dynamics of relationships.
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10159592372010652&id=29092950651

The real reason why people have affairs Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be?

Marriage is such a complex situation for two people, with love playing a role but perhaps surprisingly not the only role. Take a few minutes to listen to this TED talk.
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10159485526795652&id=29092950651

How to build a marriage that truly meets your needs Most of us haven’t thought seriously about what we’re seeking from our marriage.

I have always found that the best way to head off a conflict suitation in a relationship, is to acknowledge the fact that your partner is seeing things differently from you. No one is right, no one is wrong, just a heartfelt opposite belief. Affiance courses help you both to see this.
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=883039891844496&substory_index=0&id=512914785523677

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Ok, so you are having a civil wedding in the next twelve months, you have been living together for years, and I think that you should do a secular pre-marriage course! Why? What could you possibly find out about each other on a course that you don't already know?
I am asked that question so often by couples, who come to me not 100% convinced that it's worth their time and effort. My rather simple answer is that you never stop changing, your relationship is never static ( or at least it shouldn't be ) and often quite unexpected issues arise for couples, and it can benefit you both to talk through these issues with a trained person.

Oftentimes problems arise, not from the big crises you encounter along the way, but rather from the small, mundane problems that couples ni**le each other over. Such as... " I did bathtime two nights running", "Yeah, but I stacked, AND emptied the dishwasher all week" If you allow your relationship to be only about the essentials, and lets be honest, sometimes dull essentials, and make no effort to re-connect with why you fell for each other in the first place, you can lose each other somewhere along the way.You need to sit down and talk to each other, no distractions, and find that spark again

Sometimes it's the keeping calm part of love that's the hardest part!

These ' Conflict Resolution' steps I use regularly with couples stuck in conflict situations that keep reoccurring, never truly resolved. Check out this short clip.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lRnrzoQ3GU

www.youtube.com http://www.monikahoyt.com/problem-solving-techniques-the-art-of-negotiation-in-relationships/ Conflict Resolution Steps that will help you resolve age-old a...

Donkeys, rightly or wrongly have a reputation as being stubborn. In relationships, stubbornness can play a big part in conflict between couples, often to the detriment of what could be a loving relationship. How do we stop our tendency to stubbornness from causing unnecessary or prolonged rows?
Well if we follow the example of our two donkeys here, we see that they are both hungry. Which means that they both have the same goal, to get to the hay.
However they are both tethered, so really neither one will get to taste the hay, unless of course they both sit down and negotiate. This they do, they reach a compromise, they both get what they want!
Human relationships are rarely about eating hay, but human relationships have to be about compromise to live together.