Insight Counselling Centre

There are three types of people ...
1. Who recognise their dysfunctional habits and make efforts to rectify it.
2. Who knows something in their life is not ok and just blame others for it or blame themselves.
3.Who absolutely refuse to admit there is some problem .

Which type are you ?!

Emotional addiction !!

We all have heard of drug/substance addiction, food addiction,physical addiction,movie addiction,gadgets addiction,TV addition ..The list can be endless..

But what about "emotional addictions"?

Yes! ,based on my professional experience and to some extent observing my dear n near one's lives I can tell you that this is the most self destructing addiction which may lead to other visible addictions mentioned above.

Emotional addiction is a state of mind where the person is emotionally vulnerable for many reasons and they easily become pray to some unscrupulous people who will be waiting to take advantage of such people in whatever way possible. The tactics they usually use will be flattery,sympathy,fake love and concern.
And the worst part of it is,most of the times the victim understands(by gut feeling ) that the end result of such relationship is nothing but hurt and disappointment but still gets engulfed in this emotional manipulation / battle... like an addiction 😞

The only 3 ultimate solutions for this are...
1. To love and accept ourselves for whatever we are instead of depending on others for our happiness.
may sound difficult but possible. 🙂

2.Never ever have or encourage a relationship of any kind which needs to be kept secret from your family members, dear and near ones.

3.Never get into self blame /self pity mode as a person's emotional vulnerability is an outcome of many factors like environment, interpersonal relationship, family dynamics.

instead, just take it as a learning experience and move on with a determination that you will not allow it to happen again :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR ONCE AGAIN ❤️to all my friends from all over the country :)

Shubho Nobo Borsho :-)💐
Happy Vishu 💐
Happy Rongali Bihu (Happy Assamese New Year) 💐
Baisakhi diyan vadhiyan (Happy Baisakhi)💐
Vishu asamsakal (Happy Vishu aka Mallu and Tulu New Year) 💐
Puthandu Vazthukal (Happy Tamil New Year)💐

It's unfortunate that the whole life has become a number game !
Why does everyone want to quantify every aspect of life ?! 🙄

Popularity is measured by the number of followers one has on Instagram and twitter, the number of friends on Facebook friend list,Than real friends !
Beauty is measured by the dress number and waist number (size),than the beauty of the heart !
Intelligence is measured by the number shown on the answer paper, than the life skills one has !
Work needs validation by the number of likes one gets for the social media projection,than the ground realities !
Success is measured by the number of zeros in ones's bank account ,than how many lives are transformed/touched by kindness!
Richness is measured by the number of cars /houses one owns,than the richness of human values!
Relaxation is measured by the number of places visited ,than being at peace with oneself wherever one is!

But, I beg to differ. I'm not a number, neither is my life.I'm much more than just a number. 😐
Stop for a minute and think about it....😇

10 Two & three liner short stories :-

1) She was very excited today, after all the school was re-opening after a long summer break.
Now, once again, she could start selling stationery at the traffic signal to feed her family.

2) She, a renowned artist and a strict mother, often scolded her 6-year-old son for he could never draw a line straight.
As he breathed slowly into the ventilator, she begged him to make one more crooked line on the ECG.

3) "Everyone goes with the flow… but the one who goes against it becomes someone remarkable.”
Before I could explain this to the traffic police, the man issued me a Fine.

4) Their love was different; She was happy every time he kicked her in the stomach.
Every time he kicked she loved him more. She waited for the time she would hold her baby for the first time.

5) All my toys are yours...!
Read her brother’s death note.

6) They took his father,
and only returned a flag.

7) At 25, I became a mother of one; at 27 I became a mother of two; and today, at 55, I have become a mother of three!
My son got married today, and brought home his wife!

8) “Born to rich parents, this boy is so lucky,” exclaimed the neighbors!
Somewhere in heaven, three unborn sisters cried.

9) “You ruined my career, I was supposed to be an executive director,” she thought to herself.
The little angel held her finger tightly and she forgot everything; A mother was born.

10) Once a 5-year-old boy was standing barefoot in the shallow water of the ocean.
He was repeating the same sentence to the waves – “Even if you touch my feet a thousand times, I won’t forgive you for taking my parents away.

This is just my humble effort ,based on my experience as a psychotherapist and a family counsellor,to reach out to people when they want to vent out their feelings and address their life's challenges.

This page is dedicated to address emotional challenges which individuals face at their personal lives/professional lives.This is a page which brainstorms to understand the possible reasons behind human behaviour.
This forum is an initiative to facilitate better emotional management and to provide emotional support whenever required in a most objective way.

In case of personal issues, you guys can share it on my personal messenger to discuss the same.
CONFIDENTIALITY WILL BE MAINTAINED NO MATTER WHAT.

Have a great day ❤️

REASONS BEHIND SARCASM/CRITICISM .

Did a close person criticize you?
Do you feel bad?

If I were you i would have not felt bad for myself simply because the person who criticized you is the one who is in need of help. read this article and you will discover that people who are overly critical and sarcastic are the ones who should feel bad not the ones they criticize.

Why Are Some People So Critical and sarcastic?

A normal Human being should have a balanced behavior. It is not uncommon for someone to criticize someone else or to be sarcastic every once in a while but when the critical comments start to flood everyone surrounding the person and when his/her sarcastic behavior starts to hurt the close ones around him ,he/she becomes insensitive to this bad behaviour and starts justifying it in the name of joke or humour when confronted,then it is an indication that the persons has an internalised issue which has become his/her negative personality and they need help .

Here is why overly critical and sarcastic people need help:

1.Criticism And Anger:
Have you ever noticed the negative thoughts that pass in your mind while you are angry? If you did then most probably you already noticed that you were so critical to everyone at that time. When we become angry we tend to become overly critical and sarcastic. Some people are haunted by anger as a result of the past experiences they have been through. People with unmet goals, some people who were emotionally abused and people who are angry at life because of the bad things that happened to them may end up living with anger. They live a miserable life and curse everyone they find in their way as if others carry part of the blame for what happened to them.
2.Being overly critical and Your Inner Child:
Some people are overly critical because this is just how they were treated as children. If a child was always criticized then he might develop a negative unconscious pattern of thinking that lets him criticize everyone around him. The negative messages that this child constantly received turned into a way of thinking that lead him to become an overly critical and sarcastic adult. (see Parenting mistakes that affects the child's personality
3.Criticism and Lack of self confidence:
The difference between a confident person and a person who feels inferior is their way of thinking. while the first tends to praise himself the second keeps putting himself down. The mind of the person who lacks self confidence is usually full of negative messages and that’s why the excess negative ones reach the other people around him in the form of criticism. The conclusion is, The overly critical person usually lacks self confidence
Are you Still Feeling Bad?

From the few previous paragraphs its clear that the person who always criticizes others is emotionally wounded, lacking self confidence and angry at the whole world.As a result they always end up talking negative about every person ,more focussed on what is lacking than what is good and can never appreciate others from the heart !

If I were you, I would focus my attention on helping that person who criticized me instead of feeling bad because that I was criticized.

If you think you can't do that for some reasons then the best next option is to ignore or give a big smile to them :)

Sharing my thoughts :)
Usha Madan (UM)