Viktor The Mental Health Coach

What is your personality type?

The four temperaments-Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, and Melancholic

Choleric-

This is an extroverted, high-tempered and touchy person. Choleric people are known for their go-getter character that is willing to put everything aside to achieve their goals. They are slow at forming personal relationships because all that matters to them is results from such relationships. They are big thinkers and will pursue high positions of authority for they feel fulfilled while in such positions.

They make calculated moves because, by nature they are result-oriented. Most times they are the people who become social activists and crusaders against social injustices for they like fighting for a cause. They will rarely give in to the pressure of others unless they realize that their push for whatever they desire is becoming counter-productive.

They are opinionated and visionary people who never seem to run out of practical ideas and they make decisions for themselves and others.

Sanguine-

These are extroverted and fun-loving people. They are quickly excited and open to new relationships. It is not a wonder that once you meet a sanguine, you feel like you have known them for long enough already. If you are a sanguine, you are activity-prone and very persuasive.

They are the easiest to please and they easily smile and talk often. They are hardly time-conscious and therefore, they arrive for appointments late. This could also be attributed to their forgetful nature.

In addition to this, they get bored easily as their attention span is determined by the engagement level of the activity at hand. They are known to be poor at controlling their emotions and due to this, their emotions could go out of hand in most cases. They however hate rejection or being seen as unlikeable. Due to their competitive nature, they hate being seen as unsuccessful or losers.

Phlegmatic-

Unlike the choleric and sanguine, these are introverted persons who are relatively calm, peaceful and slow to warm up. They are known for their easy-going and highly-accommodative nature. They make serious commitments to relationships and remain loyal to such relationships though they prefer to have few, quality ones.
They are slow at starting relationships and friendships besides they will rarely break up from such relationships.
It is important to note that they avoid getting overly involved with people and life in general. They are less aggressive and non-competitive.

When it comes to going up career ladders and social status, they do not force their way, they just let fate have its way. They are reluctant to adopt change and new ways of doing things. They prefer their usual and already stable rhythm of life.

Melancholic-

People who fall under this class are introverted, highly-analytical and quiet. They are cautious with their moves and in most instances, they may appear to be indecisive. They are deep thinkers with good memory and always endeavour to maintain high standards in whatever they get down at.

They are easily hurt, and this combined with their good memory, makes them keep grudges for a long time- they are therefore unforgiving. Occasionally, they are paranoid and can be very judgemental.
Due to their unsocial nature, they do not form relationships and when they do, they do not keep them easily. They are perfectionists, inquisitive, hard to please and very hygienic.
They talk less and are economical with money. As a result, they end up being very stingy.

(An excerpt from my book - The Placebo Effect)

Did you find your personality type or of a person you know?

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The Dark Triad personality...

This is very misleading

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Identifying Triangulation in a Family

Triangulation in families is a coping mechanism that temporarily reduces tension but often at the expense of the third party, usually a child.It occurs when a conflict between two members, usually parents, leads them to involve a third member, often a child, to alleviate the tension.

To manage the discomfort and avoid direct confrontation, one or both of the conflicted members draw in a third family member (child). This third party becomes an intermediary or a buffer.The third member, often a child, may be assigned a role such as mediator, confidant or even scapegoat. This role can vary depending on the dynamics and the specific issues at play.

Instead of addressing issues directly with each other, the conflicted members might communicate through the third person. For example, a parent might relay messages to the other parent through the child, creating indirect communication channels.

The involvement of a third party can provide temporary relief from the tension, as the conflict is diverted. However, this often means that the underlying issues remain unresolved and can resurface later.

EFFECT ON THE CHILD

The child may feel a heavy emotional burden, as they are caught in the middle of the parents' conflict. This can lead to stress, anxiety, and feelings of helplessness.

The child may experience loyalty conflicts, feeling torn between both parents. They might feel pressured to take sides or to act in ways that please one parent over the other.

Constant involvement in parental conflicts can interfere with the child's normal developmental processes. They might struggle with forming their own identity and establishing healthy boundaries.

The child may develop issues such as low self-esteem, depression, or anxiety due to the ongoing stress and role confusion. Being a mediator or confidant can make the child feel responsible for the parents' emotional well-being.

The stress and preoccupation with family dynamics can affect the child's relationships outside the family, including friendships and academic performance. They might have difficulty trusting others or managing their own conflicts.

Children who grow up in triangulated family systems may carry these patterns into their adult relationships. They might struggle with direct communication, conflict resolution, and may inadvertently recreate similar dynamics in their own families.

Recognizing and addressing triangulation through therapy and improved communication can help families resolve underlying issues and promote healthier, more direct interactions. For the child's well-being, it is crucial to break these patterns and ensure they are not placed in roles that burden them emotionally or developmentally.

We tend to overestimate how often failure is followed up by success, according to research recently published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General: https://at.apa.org/7f6

American Psychological Association

Risks to mental health at work incl.:
🔸under-use of skills
🔸excessive workloads
🔸unsafe working conditions
🔸limited support from colleagues
🔸harassment/bullying
🔸discrimination/exclusion
🔸unclear job role
🔸job insecurity
🔸inadequate pay
& more

World Health Organization (WHO)

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CHERISHING THE MOMENT

Cherishing the moment means fully appreciating and valuing the present time, recognizing its significance and savoring the experiences, feelings and people involved. It involves being mindful and attentive to the present, without being distracted by past regrets or future anxieties.
This practice encourages a deeper sense of gratitude and enjoyment of life's fleeting moments.

Here are some practical examples of cherishing the moment:

Mindful Eating: Savoring each bite of a meal, noticing the flavors, textures and aromas, rather than eating quickly or while distracted by TV or work.

Quality Time with Loved Ones: Fully engaging in conversations with family or friends, putting away phones and other distractions to be fully present.

Nature Walks: Taking a walk in a park or natural setting and paying attention to the sights, sounds and smells around you, appreciating the beauty of your surroundings.

Meditation or Deep Breathing: Taking a few minutes each day to focus on your breath, grounding yourself in the present moment and reducing stress.

Celebrating Achievements: Pausing to acknowledge and celebrate personal or professional milestones, rather than immediately moving on to the next goal.

Enjoying a Hobby: Engaging in a favorite activity, like painting, reading or gardening, with full attention and without multitasking.

Listening to Music: Sitting down to listen to your favorite music, focusing on the lyrics, melodies and emotions it evokes, without doing anything else.

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This doesn't apply when it comes to mental health. The fact that it is working doesn't mean it is OK. Do not wait until you break down.

What does this Weather Portend for us?

Extreme weather changes can have a toll on our mental health. This can be made worse if the weather is harmful or causing people to lose their lives. As a person not knowing how safe you or your loved one is can cause serious mental distress and anxiety.

According to American Psychiatric Association, Climate-related increase in global temperatures affects populations via circumscribed localized disasters, but also via long-term and often large-scale effects that come from experiencing repeated disasters and their effects on well-being, economic stability and infrastructure in a given region. This might include cumulative community stress, increases in poverty domestic violence and substance abuse and forced migration. Flooding and prolonged droughts have also been associated with mental health conditions like elevated levels of anxiety, depression, su***de, and post-traumatic stress disorders.

The kind of weather we are currently experiencing greatly disrupts daily routines, create uncertainty and may lead to feelings of helplessness or fear. Children are more affected than adults by the disruptions in routine, separation from caregivers as a result of evacuations or displacement and parental stress after a disaster. Children are however often very resilient and reactions to disasters may resolve over time, but they should be monitored for long-term effects of chronic stress for they are likely to have continued trauma-related symptoms after a disaster.

Are you working as a First responder, emergency worker or in any way involved with responding to extreme weather-related disasters? American Psychiatric Association postulates that you are at increased risk for mental health consequences both in the short and long term. As a first responders or an emergency worker, you may be both a responder and victim, required to provide care for the public while managing the adverse impacts of a disaster on your own family. Responders and emergency workers are often exposed to injury or death in the line of work, which can increase negative impacts.

It is crucial that we recognize and address the mental health implications of extreme weather events, both for individuals and for those on the front lines of response. This includes not only immediate support but also long-term monitoring and care for those affected by the ongoing stress and trauma these events can bring. For some people life will never be the same again!

Above all, let us keep on checking on one another.

Viktor The Mental Health Coach

Karani Kiongozi Viktor



Mwenda Karani

Client: Aaah doc, Leo Niko na musheenee😜

Me: 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

HOW DO YOU BREAK BAD NEWS?

A family is going on a vacation, and they ask the boy next door to take care of the cat while they’re away.

Halfway through the trip, they call the boy to ask how the cat is doing. He says, “I’m sorry, but the cat is dead.”

The family is distraught. They tell the kid that he should have broken the news more gently. They suggest that he could have said the cat is on the roof and won’t come down. Then the next time they called him, he could tell them the cat had died. That way they would have been more prepared for the bad news.

The next year, the family goes on another vacation. This time, they ask the boy to take care of the grandmother who is too elderly to travel.

Halfway through the trip, they call the boy to ask how grandma is doing.

He says, “grandma’s on the roof.”

Karani Kiongozi Viktor

Mwenda Karani

Viktor The Mental Health Coach

Are people just b@d and ev;l? Do you find yourself criticizing people for what you perceive as "l@ziness", "ign0r@nce" or "carel&ssn&ss"?

Think about the fundamental attribution theory.

The fundamental attribution error is a cognitive bias that refers to the tendency of people to overemphasize internal characteristics (personality, traits, abilities) when explaining someone else's behavior, while underemphasizing external factors (situational influences, environment).

For example, if someone is late for a meeting, the tendency might be to attribute it to their l@ziness or lack of punctuality (internal attribution) rather than considering external factors like traffic or an emergency (external attribution).

This bias is fundamental because it's a common way our minds simplify complex social information, often leading to misunderstandings or inaccuracies in how we perceive others' actions.

Next time you are tempted to overemphasize other people's perceived shortcomings, look at the whole picture first. Get into their shoes, even for a moment. That way, you will be able to be more empathetic and nonjudgmental.

Mwenda Karani

Viktor The Mental Health Coach

Karani Kiongozi Viktor

One person a day!

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Your well-being matters to us, and we're here to listen and support you.

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🌟 Seeking Emotional Support? It's Free with Viktor The Mental Health Coach !

🌟Are you feeling overwhelmed, lonely or simply in need of someone to talk to? Look no further! The Mental Health Coach is offering FREE, confidential emotional support to help you navigate life's challenges.

💬 Anonymously Share Your Feelings: Pour your heart out without fear or judgment. Our compassionate listeners are here to understand and support you.

👂 Empathetic Listening: Let us lend you a compassionate ear and offer guidance to uplift your spirits.

🌿 Nurture Your Emotional Well-Being: Together, we'll work towards fostering resilience, positivity and emotional wellness.

Don't face your struggles alone. Reach out to The Mental Health Coach today and discover the power of support and understanding.

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🌟 Seeking Emotional Support? It's FREE at Delight Wellness Services !

🌟Are you feeling overwhelmed, lonely or simply in need of someone to talk to? Look no further! Delight Wellness Services is offering FREE, confidential emotional support to help you navigate life's challenges.

💬 Anonymously Share Your Feelings: Pour your heart out without fear or judgment. Our compassionate listeners are here to understand and support you.

👂 Empathetic Listening: Let us lend you a compassionate ear and offer guidance to uplift your spirits.

🌿 Nurture Your Emotional Well-Being: Together, we'll work towards fostering resilience, positivity and emotional wellness.

Don't face your struggles alone. Reach out to Delight Wellness Services today and discover the power of support and understanding.

Get us on whatsapp 0723 659517

THE REMINISCENCE BUMP

Do you as an adult find yourself recalling with ease events that took place during adolescence and early adulthood stages? This could be explained by a phenomenon referred to as The Reminiscence Bump.

The Reminiscence Bump is a fascinating psychological phenomenon where adults tend to recall more memories from their late teens and early twenties than from other life stages. This period, roughly between ages 10 to 30, is characterized by significant life changes, identity formation, and novel experiences, contributing to the heightened recall of memories.

There are several explanations for the Reminiscence Bump:

- Identity Formation: During adolescence and early adulthood, individuals go through significant life changes, such as developing a sense of identity, establishing independence, and forming lasting relationships. These experiences are often highly memorable and contribute to the bump in recall.

- Cognitive Development: Cognitive processes related to memory consolidation and retrieval may be more efficient during this period, leading to stronger encoding and easier retrieval of memories from this time frame.

- Cultural and Historical Factors: Societal norms, cultural influences, and historical events during a person's late adolescence and early adulthood can shape their experiences and memory formation, contributing to the bump in reminiscence.

- Emotional Intensity: Memories associated with strong emotions, such as joy, excitement, or adversity, tend to be more vivid and easier to recall. Many events during the late teens and early twenties are emotionally charged, enhancing memory retention.

The reminiscence bump is the increased proportion of autobiographical memories from youth and early adulthood observed in adults over 40.

Mt. Stupid - The Dunning Kruger Effect

The Dunning-Kruger effect is a cognitive bias where people with low ability or knowledge in a particular area tend to overestimate their competence. This bias is named after psychologists David Dunning and Justin Kruger, who first described it in their research. Essentially, individuals who lack expertise in a domain often believe they are more skilled or knowledgeable than they actually are.

The concept is often illustrated using a graph called the "Mt. Stupid" graph. This graph depicts a person's confidence level plotted against their actual competence or knowledge. It starts with low confidence at low competence levels, rises steeply to a peak where confidence is high but competence is low (the "Mt. Stupid" peak), and then gradually declines as competence increases.

The Mt. Stupid phase represents the point where someone has acquired a small amount of knowledge or skill in a domain, leading them to feel overly confident because they lack the experience to recognize their limitations. As they gain more expertise and experience, they typically become more aware of what they don't know and their confidence levels adjust accordingly.

Overall, the Dunning-Kruger effect highlights the importance of self-awareness and humility in assessing one's abilities accurately.

🔥 Understanding Pyromania:

Pyromania, classified under Diagnostic Criteria 312.33 (F63.1) in the DSM-5, is a unique disorder characterized by deliberate and purposeful fire setting on multiple occasions. Here's a breakdown of its diagnostic criteria:

A. Deliberate fire setting, not for monetary gain or other specific motives.
B. Tension or arousal before the act.
C. Fascination with fire and its contexts.
D. Pleasure or gratification derived from fire setting or its aftermath.
E. Not explained by other conditions or motives.
F. Not better explained by conduct disorder, manic episode, or antisocial personality disorder.

Individuals with pyromania often exhibit a deep interest in fire, may participate in fire-related activities, and derive satisfaction from the process or aftermath of fire setting. However, it's crucial to distinguish pyromania from other intentional fire-setting behaviors or mental health conditions.

While pyromania is rare as a primary diagnosis, it can co-occur with substance use disorders, gambling disorder, depressive and bipolar disorders, and other impulse-control disorders.

Understanding and addressing pyromania require a comprehensive assessment and tailored interventions to ensure the safety of individuals and their communities.