Relationship, Marriage & Parenting

Ensuring the well-being and proper upbringing of our children is crucial. It's essential to recognise that all children, regardless of gender, need guidance, protection, and positive role modelling from their parents.

By nurturing our sons and daughters, we create a harmonious and respectful environment for everyone.

Parental involvement and guidance play a pivotal role in shaping the character and values of our children, fostering a society built on mutual respect and understanding.

Parenting roles are as significant as any other responsibilities, if not more. Just as we dedicate time and effort to our businesses, nurturing and guiding our children requires similar commitment and attention.

Our children represent a crucial aspect of our lives, and our investment in their upbringing shapes their future and the kind of society we are building.

Let's approach parenting with the seriousness and dedication it deserves, recognising that raising well-adjusted and respectful children substantially contributes to improving our communities and the world.

As a parent and father, it is crucial to recognise the evolving needs and boundaries of your growing daughter. Avoid bathing her once she outgrows the toddler stage, and be cautious about permitting her to sit on the laps of individuals referred to as 'uncles.' Let us prioritise the well-being and safety of our children to ensure they grow up in a secure and respectful environment... May we not be unfortunate!

One sign of relationship problems, now or in the future, is when you focus on your partner as the source of the issues in your marriage.

Of course, your partner plays a role, at least to some extent. However, you have much control over what you can do to help your relationship.

You need to be the best partner you can be and do your part to team up with your partner to fight for your marriage.

You must decide to work on your relationship as a team. This means that you agree not to fight destructively, commit to maintaining fun and friendship in your relationship, and make the relationship a safe emotional abode.

Most importantly, marital teams can only succeed if each member contributes his or her fair share.

Think about what you contribute to your marriage; focus on what you put in rather than what you get out of the relationship.

One sign of relationship problems, now or in the future, is when you focus on your partner as the source of the issues in your marriage.

Of course, your partner plays a role, at least to some extent. You do, however, have a lot of control over what you can do to help your relationship.

You need to be the best partner you can be and do your part to team up with your partner to fight for your marriage.

You must decide to work on your relationship as a team. This means that you agree not to fight destructively, commit to maintaining fun and friendship in your relationship, and make the relationship a safe emotional abode.

Most importantly, marital teams can only succeed if each member contributes his or her fair share.

Think about what you contribute to your marriage; focus on what you put in rather than what you get out of the relationship.

Many people mention that women are needy creatures; every man learns this before asking a lady out on a date.

Emotionally, she will require much of his attention, pampering, and understanding.

In essence, women are believed to require treatment like that of a tray of eggs, but does this have to be the case?

Because of too much neediness, it is possible to become too needy to the point of selfishness.

It is possible to become emotionally needy to the point that, even if you are not desperate, your needs and expectations become overblown.

With time, you seek perfection in your spouse, expecting them to meet your needs.

Given that no individual on Earth can achieve perfection, this frequently leads to conflicts inside your marriage, and happiness can only fade further in this scenario.

How much would you defy the norm and be emotionally self-reliant rather than emotionally needy?

To be emotionally self-reliant, you must not expect your husband to be responsible for your happiness because you already have sufficient self-validation.

Being emotionally self-sufficient also implies that you are not jealous because you have mastered and embraced the immense value of trust.

It means you have other things besides your marriage, such as fostered relationships with friends, colleagues, and children.

Being a master of your happiness and having the courage to embrace emotional independence brings a sense of personal freedom and enhances relationships in general.

Emotional self-reliance opens you up to a world of possibility where you are no longer the centre of attention but rather the master of attention.

You can tap into other people's needs rather than focus solely on your own.

Parenting is multi-dimensional. To respond to the varied needs of your children, you must develop both depth and breadth of knowledge, ranging from being aware of developmental milestones and norms that help keep children safe and healthy.

Your knowledge as parents on how to meet your children’s essential physical (e.g., hunger) and emotional (e.g., wanting to be held or soothed) needs, as well as how to read infants’ cues and signals, can improve the synchronicity between you and your child(ren), ensuring proper child growth and development.

Specifically, parenting knowledge about proper nutrition, safe sleep environments, how to soothe a crying baby, and how to show love and affection is critical for young children’s optimal development.

Parents’ attitudes towards parenting are a product of their knowledge of parenting and the values and goals (or expectations) they have for their children’s development, which in turn are informed by cultural, social, and societal images, as well as parents’ experiences and their overall values and goals.

Parental guidance, or discipline, is an essential component of parenting.

When you discipline your children, you are not simply punishing the children’s bad behaviour but aiming to support and nurture them for self-control, self-direction, and their ability to care for others.

Effective discipline requires a strong parent-child bond, an approach for teaching and strengthening desired behaviours, and a strategy for decreasing or eliminating undesired or ineffective behaviours.

As parents, developing your child’s sense of competence is a significant task that must be taken seriously.

Never do for a child what he can do for himself. When you do, you rob your child of the joy of discovery and the opportunity to feel competent.

Most parents do too much for their children; in response, their children have learned to depend on their parents to solve their problems, believing they cannot do it by themselves.

You will never know what your child is capable of unless you allow him or her to try!

As parents, you need to help your child(ren) develop a positive view of “self,” not only by providing the child(ren) with love and unconditional acceptance but also by helping them to feel competent and capable.

Parents should help their child(ren) feel competent by first allowing them to experience what it is like to discover, figure out, and problem-solve.

As parents, you show faith in your child's capabilities by allowing them to struggle with a problem while encouraging them.

But for most parents, allowing children to struggle is complex but necessary for children to feel truly capable.

Helping children develop a positive view of themselves as competent means learning to respond in ways that give children credit for ideas, effort, and accomplishments without praising them.

Encourage the effort rather than praise the product.

Although praise and encouragement both focus on positive behaviours and appear to be the same process, praise fosters dependence in children by teaching them to rely on an external source of control and motivation rather than on self-control and self-motivation.


Praise is an attempt to motivate children with external rewards.


Overreliance on praise can produce crippling effects. Children come to believe that their worth depends on the opinions of others.


Praise employs words that place value judgements on children and focuses on external evaluation.

Encouragement, on the other hand, focuses on internal evaluation and the contributions children make. It facilitates the development of self-motivation and self-control.


If you are an encouraging parent, you teach your children to accept their inadequacies, learn from mistakes (mistakes are lovely learning opportunities), have confidence in themselves, and feel helpful through contribution.


When commenting on children’s efforts, be careful not to place value judgements on what they have done. Be alert to eliminate value-laden words (good, great, excellent, etc.) from your vocabulary at these times.

Instead, could you substitute words of encouragement that help children believe in themselves?


Encouragement can always be given, with effort as the primary focus.

When children feel encouraged, valued, and appreciated, they develop qualities of persistence and determination, making them good problem-solvers.

Wait a minute, how s*xy is your bedroom? Is it inviting unsupervised action, or is it working hard to ruin any potential s*xual mood?

When it comes to marriage, it is necessary to discard the notion that the bedroom is primarily associated with sleep and replace it with something more enticing.

There are undoubtedly better places to check your emails, catch up on current events, and conduct family business.

You don’t have to allow some of these romance killers to destroy the mood. Remember, by the end of the day, this is where the magic of love happens.

Love and intimacy are best brewed behind closed doors in this space. So, if you need peace and quiet, put a "do not disturb tag" on the door.

You see, when the mood is just right for se.x and your thoughts are in sync with the mood, there is no telling how deep you can go with intimacy.

This is not the time to think about your intolerable boss, the clothes still at the dry cleaners, credit card problems, or your other challenges.


Intimacy time entails removing all thoughts that do not belong in your bedroom.

Life is neither perfect nor without challenges; therefore, even when you feel pressured, try to let go of any idea not designed for closeness and bonding.

You can only "successfully spoil your intended special moment" if you have negative thoughts during an intimate moment.

Essentially, the better the mood, the better the se.x!

In a marital relationship, it is easy to dismiss the idea of comfort in your bedroom.

Even though your bedroom is not a luxury hotel, you should still be able to do everything in your power to make it as comfortable as possible so that romance can flourish there.

A marriage takes two people, and so do intimacy and s*x. So when it comes to the bedroom setting, ensure that there are two of everything.

It is crucial to remember that an environment that encourages sharing works best for fostering intimacy and bonding.

It is essential to remember that having two people come together to share their love on the most profound level is necessary for intimacy.

The last thing you need is to make the mistake of sleeping in separate bedrooms.

Bonding can only come from sharing the same room and bed, breathing the same air, and, in essence, coexisting within the same limited space.

When it comes to your marital bedroom, it should be anything but a hassle.

Let's face it: given that life is already full of hassles and bustles, you'll have had enough by the end of the day.

When it's finally time to go home and rest, spend time with your family, and especially with your spouse, it's an urgent call to action to reimagine your bedroom.

First, there must be a complete de-cluttering episode. It doesn't matter how attached you are to everything in your bedroom; many must go.

For God's sake, the sight of a pile of documents you need to work on at work tomorrow isn't a mood booster, nor is your pet occupying the back end of your bed.

Bottom line: Make it a point to keep your bedroom as bare and open as possible.

Space and a neat and ambient setting encourage experimenting and discovering new s*x positions.

You do not want to experiment on the floor with a pile of books all over it, and you won't want to try out the couch if your pet has decided to make herself at home there.

So, declutter and change some rules.

When you read relationship and marriage articles, you will notice that they continuously mention how you could have better talks, s*x, or***ms, and an overall better marriage.

On the other hand, understanding your most profound desires significantly impacts how well a marriage thrives in intimacy.

One reason most women hesitate to ask for certain things in the bedroom is that they are afraid of hurting their partner's feelings.

Yes, many men experience premature ej*******on and erectile dysfunction.

What you don't realize is that when it comes to most s*xual problems with men, you do not have to look as far to find the culprit because she is standing right there in front of you.

As a woman, you can either break or build a man, and the majority of s*xual dysfunctions and challenges that men face are the result of having to tolerate unappreciative, nagging, negative, and accusing women.

Know, therefore, that there is always a better method to convey your displeasure when your man cannot maintain an er****on.

When you criticize your partner's s*xual performance, you contribute to anxiety, which can lead to premature ej*******on and other s*xual dysfunctions.

Why not meet him halfway instead of pushing him over the edge with your high expectations?

Instead of complaining about his inability to keep an er****on, assist him in working on it.

To summarise, for s*x to be enjoyable in marriage, each spouse must be willing to follow through on what works for the other because, yes, your s*xual fulfilment is heavily dependent on your partner's satisfaction.

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As a married couple, to get what you want in the bedroom, you must adopt a give-and-take approach.

Let’s face it: the thought of asking flat out for what you want in bed can be intimidating, especially for a woman.

However, taking the initiative to spice things up in the bedroom can go a long way, whether in a new relationship or marriage.

Funny enough, the reason most women settle for a boring se.x life—the reason they don’t get to ask for what they really want—is because, in reality, they don’t know what it is that they really want.

When it comes to se.x, it remains a learning process. Each day during your marriage, you learn something new about yourself in the bedroom—about your body’s reactions, to be specific.

There is, therefore, a dire need to be attentive to what works for you and what just doesn’t.

Remember that nothing is wrong with not knowing what you want in bed; think of it as awakening, and keep an open mind to learn.

Ahead of you lies an exciting journey with many mind-blowing discoveries, so you better put your seat belt on and enjoy the ride.

The first thing you will need to do is change the attitude you have towards se.x.

Maybe you’ve been lying there every night, every time you have se.x with your husband, having already resolved yourself to the idea of ‘impossible’ regarding se.xual excitement and satisfaction, but it shouldn’t be so.

You haven’t been able to enjoy se.x for the longest time, but because it’s a marital right you owe your husband, you lie there and let him have his way.

Now, this is the wrong attitude!

When it comes to se.x in marriage, it is the obligation of each one of you bound in marriage to oversee each other’s se.xual gratification.

What am I trying to reiterate? That your husband is responsible for your maximum pleasure and due or**sm in bed, and that you owe him nothing that he cannot give back!

In marriage, everything is give-and-take. There is no way to demand respect from your partner if you don’t reciprocate the same.

Just as one must earn respect, one must also earn intimacy.
You’ve got to meet each other halfway down the journey to s*xual pleasure, and whether it means making sacrifices for the other’s happiness, so be it.

As a wife, the reasoning that you alone owe your husband se.xual gratification is insidiously absurd and disturbing.

Regarding intimacy and se.x, each partner has a role to play. Given that women require a lot of time and patience to reach maximum stimulation, a husband should be willing to sacrifice his se.xual gratification and wait for his wife.

A caring husband will look for his wife’s se.xual satisfaction. It is impossible not to notice a sequence where his wife has just been giving herself away to him.

A caring husband will be concerned if his wife cannot achieve an or.gasm on repeated occasions.

A loving husband will strive to ensure his wife enjoys their intimate moments just as much as he does.

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You see, sometimes, because we are so focused on achieving perfection, we often overlook the many positive things in our lives. Our focus on the milestones yet to be reached often causes us to ignore the many positive things happening in our lives.

When you are dissatisfied, you become a complainer. Nothing is ever good enough for you, and you continue to strive for the impossible—perfectionism.

When you ask someone in marriage why they keep complaining when there is always the option of engaging in conversation, the answer is never encouraging.

You'll hear things like, "Of course I have to complain; he never listens!"

In this regard, you see that this person is attempting to meet their wants in all the wrong ways.

True, complaints are frequently the consequence of frustrations, but realising that they push us further away from our ultimate goal immensely aids in making better decisions.

Our most significant need is to attract rather than reject, to build rather than destroy, and to heal rather than injure.

To elicit cooperation from your partner, you know that complaining creates enormous resistance.

Conversation always works. Consider the following scenario: a lady complains to her husband that he never has time for her and the kids since he works long hours.

She can, however, take a completely different approach and, instead of complaining, request to sit down with her spouse to facilitate a productive dialogue.

Instead of raving about how he has failed you when he is right before you, why not advocate and push for a solution?

Say something like, "I think we should do something this weekend; we could maybe go for a lone time together" or "Sweetheart, you know I've realised we haven't had time alone together lately; it seems like a perfect idea to plan for a vacation.".

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Being happy does not include obtaining everything you desire at once; rather, it entails enjoying and appreciating what you have and being grateful for it.

In essence, it is up to you to pick what you see when you look at life—the imperfections surrounding it or the numerous wonders it contains.

In marriage, you must renounce a mindset that holds you accountable for fixing the world and everything else around you.

This thinking style makes it difficult to see the love and goodness in life, and it especially prevents possible happiness.

Maybe your marriage hasn't been working out for a while, and you're starting to wonder why you married in the first place. Or is it perhaps that you made an awful mistake that impacted your marriage negatively and still focused on it, allowing it to hold you back?

You must begin to live with purpose. You must quit blaming yourself for circumstances and situations over which you have no control and begin to breed positivity.

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In your marriage, don’t compare your situation with another person's. Even when every couple faces challenges, the ability to overcome those challenges together can bring about a whole new degree of intimacy in the relationship.

A quarrel or argument shouldn't drive you further apart; it is a beautiful opportunity to explore deeper waters within your marriage. This helps you see it as something beneficial to your relationship.

During conflicts, we learn more about the other person than we would otherwise.

So, knowing that you've made some mistakes, rather than wallowing in self-pity and feeling guilty about spilled milk, why not use them to cultivate a more profound sense of intimacy?

The only way to cultivate a deeper level of intimacy is to make it possible for you and your partner to work through challenges together, overcome them, and move on.

You must never make the mistake of comparing your situation to another person's marriage, regardless of how much happiness you may perceive in another person's marriage.

It is important to remember that everyone is going through their own struggles, and comparing your story to other people's experiences can only add to your disappointment and anger.

Two imperfections may not necessarily make a perfect marriage, but they'll surely make a solid marriage if given the chance!

Despite the idealized version that the majority of us adhere to, marriage is something that two imperfect people make. This is a reality check.

You should be aware that things are about to get extremely messy, but that is the beauty of it. There will be many mistakes, obstacles, and broken hearts. You should be aware that things are about to get quite chaotic.

If you experience humps and cracks along the path, it will only serve to bolster your enthusiasm and determination. Like the most influential leaders, a resilient marriage is built amid drama and victory.

So, you will need to be able to accept both your and your spouse's mistakes and exploit them as a basis for further education.

Those who love are willing to accept tremendous shortcomings; to love is to give in to the imperfections of nature and the unavoidable and to accommodate themselves.

You must cease making such a concerted effort to correct the other person and instead find infinite methods to complement their negative qualities.

Repairing is always a form of internal work, and because we are all like old houses, fixing one thing will always result in another thing breaking. There is no way around this.

Pursue the wealth of abundance by honestly inspiring, appreciating, and loving. You must give in to your marriage and partner and find them perfect despite their imperfections.

It is important to note that when we talk about love conquering all, it encompasses even the imperfections.

Marriage is not a romantic comedy. It is impossible to deny that everything is perfect when it comes to a romantic comedy. It is similar to how a male meets a lady, how he captivates her, falls madly in love with her, eventually gets married, and lives happily ever after. In that fairy tale, what could be wrong with it?

When it comes to the reality of the situation, however, romance films tend to provide an overly simplified version of how things happen. The difficulties that arise here are never genuine and are always straightforward to resolve. Everything works itself out over time.

Unfortunately, we are all aware that circumstances in real life do not operate in such a manner. Because of this, it becomes a real story about real people dealing with real issues.

I am sorry to be the one to break the news to you, but your marriage will not turn out the way that the romantic movie did; it certainly shouldn't! You must understand that there will be trials, difficulties, and heartbreaks.

You will win and suffer for love, and as for that happily ever after, you can bet it won't come cheap. These things are unavoidable.

The good news is that a life grounded in reality is beautiful and liberating. If you try to live your life like you see it in romantic films and television shows, you may feel disconnected and dissatisfied.

You will have to confront the fact that your actual love story and marriage will never be able to compare to what you see on screen.

On the other hand, this does not imply that it is impossible to meet a special person because it is even feasible to marry one for life. It is essential to remember that regardless of how remarkable he is, he will always be human, suffering from flaws and shortcomings, no matter how exceptional and extraordinary.

For this reason, at some point, you will have to let go of the illogical metaphor of a fairytale romance to discover genuine love and happiness.

Let's talk about something crucial in every marriage: Communication Styles!

We all know that communication is the key to a strong and healthy relationship, but did you know that people have different ways of expressing themselves?

Understanding these styles can work wonders in your marriage!

✅ The "Direct and Assertive" Communicator:

This type of person speaks their mind clearly and openly.

They're honest and straightforward, which can be both admirable and challenging.

They're the ones who express love, excitement, and frustration with ease.

To benefit from this style, you must appreciate their openness and be a good listener.

If you're married to someone like this, appreciate their sincerity and be open to their feedback.

Don't take their directness as criticism; they just value open dialogue.

Show genuine interest in their emotions, and be responsive and encouraging.

Remember, they need your support and validation!

✅ The "Passive" Communicator:

On the other end of the spectrum, we have passive communicators.

They tend to avoid conflicts and suppress their feelings to keep the peace.

If your partner falls into this category, encourage them to express themselves more openly.

Make them feel safe and reassure them that their opinions are valuable!

✅ The "Passive-Aggressive" Communicator:

This style can be tricky to handle. These individuals may not express their feelings directly; instead, they might resort to sarcasm or subtle jabs.

If you encounter this communication style in your marriage, create an environment where your partner feels comfortable discussing their concerns without fear of judgement.

✅ The "Analytical" Communicator:

These individuals are all about logic and rationality. They might seem more distant emotionally, but they approach problem-solving with a cool head.

They think things through before speaking, and they prefer calm discussions over emotional outbursts.

To benefit from this style, be patient and avoid pushing them into quick decisions.

Instead, engage in well-reasoned conversations and provide solid arguments when discussing important matters.

Acknowledge their need for data and well-structured communication.

✅ The "Empathetic" Communicator:

This style is opposite the analytical one. These sweethearts are highly attuned to emotions and can sense how others are feeling.

They may not always verbalize their thoughts, but they show their love through acts of kindness and support.

If your spouse is an emotional communicator, be empathetic and understanding.

Don't dismiss their feelings; instead, offer them reassurance and affection.

To benefit from this style, notice and appreciate their gestures, even if they don't explicitly communicate their feelings.

Respond with affection and try to open up emotionally, as this will make them feel safe to express themselves fully.

✅ The "Reserved" Communicator:

This partner tends to be quiet and introspective. They may take time to process their thoughts before speaking up.

To benefit from this style, give them space and time to express themselves without pressure.

Avoid interrupting or pushing them to share immediately.

Create a comfortable environment where they can open up at their own pace, and you'll see a beautiful side of them emerge!

Remember, the key is not to change your partner's communication style but to understand and complement it with your own.

Communication styles may differ, but the ultimate goal is to build a bridge of trust and understanding between you two!

The key to a harmonious marriage is not only understanding your own communication style but also being receptive and supportive of your partner's style.

Embrace your differences and use them as strengths to complement each other.

So, let's celebrate our unique communication styles and work towards stronger, more harmonious marriages! Share your thoughts and experiences below. Let's learn from each other!



Adetayo Odusanya

Today, let's dive into an essential topic that affects many couples out there: "Common Communication Challenges in Marriage."

Marriage is a beautiful journey filled with love and companionship, but let's be honest, it's not always a walk in the park! One of the major roadblocks that many couples encounter is difficulty communicating. Let's shed some light on these challenges to better understand and navigate them together.

✅ Misunderstandings: We all come from different backgrounds, cultures, and upbringings. It's natural to have different communication styles. Sometimes, what we say might be misinterpreted by our partner, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts. The key here is to actively listen and try to understand each other's perspectives. Misinterpreting each other's messages is a common hurdle in marriage. Words can be easily misunderstood, leading to unnecessary conflicts. Let's pause and clarify before jumping to conclusions. Asking for clarification can save us from countless misunderstandings!

✅ Emotional Expression: Often, expressing emotions can be tough, especially when they are intense. Bottling up feelings or not effectively expressing them can lead to emotional distance between partners. Bottling up our emotions can be detrimental to any relationship. When we fail to express our feelings openly and honestly, the emotional distance between partners grows. Let's create a safe space for each other to share our joys and frustrations without judgement.

It's crucial to create a safe space where both of you feel comfortable sharing your emotions openly.

✅ Defensiveness: When disagreements arise, it's easy to become defensive and feel attacked. This can hinder a constructive conversation and escalate tensions. Remember, it's not about winning an argument but finding a solution together. We all have our flaws, but defensiveness can hinder open communication. When we feel attacked, we tend to put up walls, making it challenging to resolve conflicts. Instead, let's try to approach discussions with empathy and a willingness to understand each other's perspectives.

✅ Assumptions: Assuming you know what your partner is thinking or feeling can be a major pitfall. Mind-reading rarely works and can lead to misunderstandings. Instead, ask questions and encourage open dialogue to avoid unnecessary conflicts.

✅ Ignoring Problems: It's human nature to avoid uncomfortable topics, but brushing issues under the rug only prolongs the pain. Let's summon the courage to address difficult subjects with love and respect. Working through tough conversations strengthens the bond between partners. Unresolved problems tend to resurface and can create deeper cracks in the relationship. Confront challenges together and work towards resolving them as a team.

✅ Digital Distractions: In this digital age, constant notifications and screens can divert attention from meaningful conversations. Make it a habit to have tech-free quality time with your partner to strengthen your bond and communication. Excessive screen time can take a toll on face-to-face communication. It's vital to set boundaries and make time for genuine interactions without distractions.

✅ Mind-reading Expectations: Assuming our partner should automatically know what we want can lead to disappointment. Expressing our needs directly avoids misunderstandings and nurtures a deeper connection.

Remember, it's okay to face communication challenges in marriage; what matters is how we tackle them together. Strengthening communication can deepen your emotional connection and make your journey of togetherness even more rewarding.

Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Let's support and learn from each other!



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