The Aunties

Kia Ora lovely community.

We desperately need a double bed or a double mattress at least.

One of the women is in transition re housing and her sleeping arrangements are a bit dire!

You must be able to deliver to Alfriston.

Please message me.

Thanks so much.

I’d love to share some of our good news with you…

1. We’ve almost reached our Xmas fundraiser goal.
2. Our new website is going to be STUNNING.
3. We now have someone on board who’s going to help me make us more sustainable and less heavily reliant on our lovely community of $ donors.

It’s blimmin wonderful!

Kia Ora lovely Aunties, I just need seven more Xmas fairies to make sure that each woman of the Aunties Whanau has two.

We need one for (including mum/nana)

- a whanau of four
- a whanau of five
- a whanau of five
- a whanau of five
- a whanau of five
- a whanau of four
and a single woman, by herself.

If you'd like to step up, please email me [email protected] and I will give you more details.
Thanks so much.

Jackie

Kia Ora lovely Aunties community.

A couple of requests tonight.

One of the women would like a real Xmas tree. And wonders if anyone knows of anyone who’d like to gift her one.

And one of the women is after camping stuff.

She needs sleeping bags, camping gear, and fishing gear.

Please message if you are able to help with any of this, and I’ll give you contact details.

Mōrena beautiful people.

Today is a beautiful day.

And I’m reminding you that if you’d like to contribute to our work and help the Aunties whānau of women to have a great holiday season, you can do that by giving us $. It all adds up to gifting a bit of joy and comfort. We aren’t fussed if it’s $5 or $50, it’s all just a blessing.

https://givealittle.co.nz/cause/aunties-xmas-cracker-bonus-bonanza-fundraiser

Or if you’re averse to givealittle, you can pop that money straight in our bank account.

The Aunties
12-3019-0022633-00

Please tag that with

Thank you so much.
We appreciate everything you do.

Aunties Xmas Cracker Bonus Bonanza Fundraiser! Bringing some joy and relief to the Aunties whānau women

https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/502218/dirty-donations-charity-supporting-domestic-violence-victims-receives-stained-and-torn-clothes

Dirty donations: Charity supporting domestic violence victims receives stained and torn clothes South Auckland charity The Aunties say to ask yourself - 'would I give this to my best friend?' - before donating.

Kia Ora lovely Aunties community.

I rely on you to know our standards of donations. What we appreciate, and what we just have to throw out.
If stuff is excess to our needs, or won’t be used by the community who come to our storage to resource themselves or their clients, then we have a couple of places who need good donations, and Di will take them there.

But this.
This is not okay. It’s never okay. It’s not okay for us, and it’s not okay to pass onto anyone.

We received a couple of bin bags worth of dirty un**es, clothes and shoes.

No.

No no no.

We have plenty of random people who donate to us, and I’m fine with that. It’s almost always exactly what I’ve specified it needs to be.

But because of the number of random donations I obviously need to keep stating this.

Do not give anyone EVER anything that is dirty, ripped, stained, or not suitable for you to use yourself.

EVER.

I have no idea if this was dropped to Kiri’s house or Phil’s.

But no.

No no no no.

It’s not just this is not okay in any circumstances, it’s that it is SPECTACULARLY inappropriate for people who carry compound or complex trauma.

The quality of what they receive can very much be viewed as harming them further if it is not in good condition.

I appreciate your time and love, and care.

Jackie.

Kia Ora lovelies. We need more Xmas fairies!
I was hoping that each of the Aunties whanau women would have two xmas fairies each this year, but so far we only have enough for one, and three women have no xmas fairy currently.

If you want to jump on board, email me at [email protected] and I will let you know what's required. You don't need to be in Auckland.

It's an awesome opportunity to not only spread some Xmas cheer, and bring some much needed joy, you'll also get to talk to some of the most powerful humans you will ever encounter.

If you've been thinking about doing it, then just do it!

Life is not what you alone make it. Life is the input of everyone who touched your life and every experience that entered it. We are all part of one another.
Yuri Kochiyama

If you’d like to contribute $2, $5 or whatever amount you may have, to make this Xmas a really special one for the women and kids of the Aunties Whānau, then you can do that!

Right here!

Thank you x

Aunties Xmas Cracker Bonus Bonanza Fundraiser! Bringing some joy and relief to the Aunties whānau women

Very excitingly we’re having our website rebuilt.
One of the new components is testimonials from the whānau women.
I asked the question, as you may remember:

What has being part of the Aunties Whānau brought to your life?

Some of the answers were long, some were short and sweet.
But all are powerful.

I’m sharing the latest one with you, with permission.
I’ve known this person a very long time and her progress toward healing and self into a place of peace has been just stunning..

Enjoy.

Kia Orana,

My journey with “the aunties” whanau
began with Jackie before she became the founder of “The Aunties” I first met jackie when she was working at the Mangere East Kindergarten. My first youngest was 2 or 3 at the time and I had dropped her off to daycare that day. 2011 or 2012 I believe it was.

Just a little story about that specific day because it helped shape me into who I am today:
I was so lost that day, I was hurt & I was so fuelled with anger yet empty within because I felt neglected and unloved by my
own mother and my family! I was getting hit with the law left right and centre a couple of times that year due to my poor choices regarding a toxic & abusive relationship and my family surroundings.
which I’ve taken full Accountability for & paid my dues to the community & paying off fines.

I lost my best friend, I had recently left a very toxic and abusive on/off 10yr
relationship (the father to my daughter’s) and I had given up my rental home just to get away from him and left Auckland Only to move back to Auckland facing a custody battle and benefit fraud and other charges on top because of him & my poor choices.

So much s**t was going on - the hardships I was facing at the time made me feel unequipped to handle. It just felt impossible to deal with as a solo mother of 3 daughters at the time all under the age of 5. I didn’t have the mental or emotional capacity to even take it all in. Because I was in survival mode just to support my kids.

I was homeless, no car (I sold it so my
Kids father wouldn’t stalk me everywhere I went) then eventually lost my license for driving while disqualified under the influence. (Weak moment) I had no job! because I had no family to depend on that were trustworthy to even help take care of my kids so I could get out there and find a job to work. Subsidy while on the benefit was impossible unless I was doing a full time course or working. But I was able to get my baby in daycare part time to take programs that would benefit me and to pay off my dues for my current conviction.

In this moment of time i was exhausted & distressed. Tbh that’s an understatement! I was at a point in my life of giving up. Because I didn’t feel like I was a good enough mother for my daughters which broke my heart and I couldn’t stop being so hard on myself for thinking that way. I couldn’t comprehend why I was being challenged by these hardships from the very people I loved and cared about.
“whanau”

Family is a very sensitive yet powerful vocabulary for me. A strong value that i hold important to my heart. I’ve never experienced a “normal family life style” I didn’t know what that felt like I can honestly say I had no good role models in my upbringing.

And the day I met Jackie was the day she used her influence that never caused harm or any Ill intensions towards me.
Which gave me comfort and made me feel safe to be a little vulnerable. That influence had a positive impact on my life till this day.

In 2014 Jackie reached out to me on fb or I reached out to her (I can’t remember exactly) I was living in a social housing that managed to get through the help of the women’s refuge that Jackie referred me to.
And since then “The Aunties” have been my whanau through the good & bad.

The aunties have provided experiences by reconnecting us with nature or people who made it easy to express your true self.

*They provided me with support networks when I needed guidance.

*prior to covid we use to have whanau meetings where we all get together have a kōrero and kai at the end to share our own ideas & views on topics discussed etc…

*Whanau days - We would all meet up at a destination as planned in the hui as a big whanau pools, park, rainbowsend, family Photos etc with the other wahine toa’s / mamas like myself and their tamariki from all walks of life. We would come together for a kai, enjoy each others company, fun & play with our tamariki and connecting with one another & more.

The Aunties have been the key point of encouragement & motivation in my
Life and that’s real talk!
Because I am a shiny mother fu**er!! Haha Spoken from the true inspirational women herself Jackie 💜

The Aunties whanau have been my rock for support in so many ways.
I can’t express enough, the gratitude I have for “The Aunties” whanau.

The empathy & caring support shown to us without judgement I’ve never experienced before until I became apart of the Aunties whanau. How swearing is our first language hahaha “can I say that?” Lols

The support from “The Aunties” Whanau especially for our children when it concerned
the most detrimental moments of the year for us mamas. “FAROUT” never thought that type of support was even possible. Straight up!There has been many times I’ve shed some overwhelming tears when they have fulfilled those needs for my tamariki. To witness the excitement & joy on their faces is priceless. And I didn’t feel like s**t or even bad as a mother because of the support they provided for our tamariki. For me it took that worry & guilt feeling away if that makes sense.

The financial stress is real!! The struggle is real!!! And it can be hella intense knowing I’m the only person responsible to keep a roof over my kids head, kai in the cupboards & clothes on their back etc…I felt alone in my worries and actively trying to hide it from them.
Being apart of the aunties has helped me to learn how to ask (and accept) help. In fact it’s one of the greatest skills Ive developed.

Yes, it was very hard at first. Very f**ken hard! It took me many years to accept or even ask for help from the aunties. It was daunting,
I feared being turned down or judged and the list goes on. Now? Over the years I have learned to be concise and specific. I don’t apologise anymore like I used to. I make it more personal rather than transactional and I follow up with results.

The Aunties have provided support with licenses, passports, vehicles, vehicle repairs,
Self healing, educational, health &
Sports resources, advocacy, knowledge,
A whānau movement that empowers our wahine & children. The list goes above and beyond. I never expected this type of support and I honestly I don’t believe any of us women did. They made the impossible possible. They gave me HOPE!

And that has opened my eyes to many possibilities of my personal growth & Connections with others. I have a voice that I am not afraid to use and to speak my truth.

11 years the The Aunties whanau have helped me grow & find meaning in my life. That’s what makes the Aunties so significant in mine & my
Daughtes life today.

My mum. 83 and proudly wearing her Aunties TShirt.

While you're thinking about whether you want to be a Xmas fairy, or if you don't think your budget is up to being a Xmas fairy this year....that's okay! We understand completely that the last two years has been especially rough for people.

But you can still help us. You can.

Each Xmas we try to give the women something extra on top of their monthly vouchers. Because research shows that $ given directly to people are far and away the most useful thing we can do when people are having a hard time.

So you can pop any amount you like on our special Aunties Xmas Cracker Bonanaza Bonus givealittle, and it will make such an enormous difference to us.

These funds will all be spent on a Xmas bonus for the women.

So whether it's $2, $5, $20 or more, every bit counts. It really does.

Thank you my loves.

Aunties Xmas Cracker Bonus Bonanza Fundraiser! Bringing some joy and relief to the Aunties whānau women

And here we are.

Many lovely organisations do Xmas for kids who may not get presents usually, and they bring joy and love at that particular time of year.

We do things a little differently.

Because I have long term relationships with the women of the Aunties Whānau, our Xmas fairies have a very special job.

If you would like to be a Xmas fairy, I will assign you to one of 27 women and their kids.
You will be responsible for contacting the woman you have been assigned and talking to her about what she wants, what the kids want. It may be vouchers, it may be presents. But you will need to be able to afford at least $30 per person in that whānau.

Once you are assigned the woman, you will be expected to contact her immediately.
And drop off or sending the presents will need to happen by the 15th of December.

You will be expected to provide scissors, gift wrap, and name tags.

When you contact me, please specify if you would be okay with doing vouchers and/or presents. A number of the kids are a bit older and would prefer vouchers.

Make it a group project if you like - you are quite welcome to do this as a group of friends or work colleagues or family members, if that’s what makes it more affordable and/or joyful for you!

But if that is the case only one person is to be the contact point, please.

Have a big think about it, and please email me [email protected] if you would like to take part in this extraordinary opportunity to bring some joy and relief to some remarkable human beings.

If you’ve done this before, please specify if you would like to buy gifts for the same whānau as previously.

And let me know if you would prefer/can afford a smaller whānau or a larger one.
Some of the women have 2-3 kids, some have 5-6, some are grandparents.

To be very very clear, I will be assigning each woman with a couple of xmas fairies. This is not so you can go in together, this is so the whānau gets a couple of pressies for each person in that whānau. As ONE fairy (or representing yr family/friends/work group) you are responsible for ONE pressie for each member of that whānau.

I truly look forward to hearing from you.

Blessings on you all.

Jackie x

Illustration by Fern Grant.

Tomorrow morning is the RWC final.
Whichever country loses, the DV assaults will increase in that country as a result.

The violence may be sexual, physical, verbal/psychological.

None of it is caused by the Ruby of course.

All of it is caused by letting a culture of male toxicity run amok.

By holding rugby players up as the peak of cis male form and behaviour.

Cis men keen on rugby often mistake its brutal physicality as “masculinity”.

Masculinity is many things.
That’s a discussion for another time.

But if you are watching the rugby with your mates, and you see the behaviours they display as masculine, I’d ask you to think on. And to call it out if they show you even a glimpse of abusive behaviour.

Have a think about what you do when you’re watching the Match. About the intersections of competitiveness and responses to triumph or loss. How good are you at dealing with disappointment? How invested are you in “toughness”?

Think about all these things and about what it means to be secure in yourself. Your gender expression, your sexuality. And remember that cis male toxicity is exactly so toxic because it’s about fears and insecurities. Because that’s what DV, or any violence, is about.

Power and control is simply projection of one’s own fears or being seen as weak. A manifestation of your own insecurities.
Now enjoy your rugby.
And watch your mates.
You’ll see what I mean.

Once you’re aware, that’s a start.

https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/lifestyle/2023/10/the-aunties-helping-domestic-violence-survivors-rebuild-their-lives.html

The Aunties helping domestic violence survivors rebuild their lives "There's a lifetime of healing."

Many many thanks to for giving us the opportunity to appear on the AM show on TV3, this morning. Many thanks to Leon, the cameraman and to William'waiirua for making the women so comfortable.
To , and for coming to support each other and me. Moeroa, your words were so powerful. As per usual, quietly and impactfully spoken.

I have shared with you a narrative one of the women has written because I’ve asked the whānau women to answer the question: “What has being part of the aunties whānau made possible in your life?” which will be a new section on our new website.

I would like to ask those of you who have been a part of the Aunties community for a while, and donated $ and /or stuff to us regularly over the yrs to contribute your narratives to our new website, in answer to this question:

What has being part of the Aunties community brought to you?

You can answer here or email me
[email protected]

We’re zhushing up the website and I’ve asked the women to write anon testimonials. Good stuff about what they’ve gotten from being part of the Aunties whānau.

I don’t like it.
But as an org who does what we do I know that ppl respond well to specific stuff. Tangible.

I’ve kept away from it mostly. This isn’t poverty p**n.
They’re quite happy to do it.
It requires one on one conversations for the most part so that they understand it’s purposes.
As always it’s a complex and nuanced thing.
Pros and cons.

And that is why social media has been so valuable for us over the last 10 yrs. It’s what’s kept us afloat - the donations of stuff and $, and the connections.

So when you read these testimonials I hope you understand how big a part you have played, and continue to play.

The work I do is trauma led, but power based. In my opinion, it’s the most effective way of framing it and practising it.
I went to one of the women’s houses this morning to drop some stuff off. And everything in that house came from the Aunties community.

She says looking around her house is like looking at all the pieces of you she has now. It’s a jigsaw puzzle of love, that’s what she calls it.
You’re all important pieces of that puzzle.

I m sharing *’s testimonial or narrative in its entirety. It lays it all out in detail.
As she says

“When you see it written down it's incredible what the meeting of practical needs has meant for us, it's immeasurable really because it will be multigenerational, it has changed the course of generations. People probably guess it just makes life easier, which it does, but the real value is the space that it creates for recovery and hope”.

This is her answer to the question…What has being part of the Aunties whānau made possible for you?

“*whole family eats meals every day of the week, even in holidays when there are no free school lunches
* meals are more nutritious, have been able to cook nicer meals that are enjoyed
* can meet more of the basic needs now without as much worry
* kids birthdays “feel” like birthdays, receive toys and things they actually want rather than needs-based items only
* birthdays have been fun, have felt legitimate in turning up to Christmas events because we can give gifts to close friends and family (even though small/token)
* have had mini holidays away and even if “cheap” have created happy memories
* kids can do some things that other kids do if the cost is low
* have felt happiness on my birthday and received flowers
* made my best friend happy with a nice birthday dinner
* had my hair done multiple times and don’t feel I need to hide for that reason
* have had space to learn and deal with trauma, have the time, support and energy to work through trauma even while it is ongoing, even develop/restore values for our family and model these
* be a real mum
* support my kids emotionally and spiritually, including their indigenous identity
* felt peace of mind that we’ll be ok, felt stronger and more resilient, starting to think that intergenerational trauma will not be carried through to our family’s next generation
* feel hopeful about my kids futures
* completed a University qualification
* contributed to multiple news articles, involved in unpaid work, had time and space to become more self-sustaining
* reclaiming my identity including taking back my birth name, cultural values, and a family trip to our pacific motherland
* reconnected with some family
* starting to think beyond survival/trauma and about what I want for my future including joy
* fully acknowledge that I may not have made it here alive

I have a number of people I share my practice with, look to for advice and guidance. Share collegial knowledge with.
People who run refuge organisations.
My professional supervisor.
Other people in this field.
Some of you will know that I have, in particular, one very important person in my life.
Caroline Herewini runs Te Whare Tiaki Wāhine Refuge - Porirua

It’s an astonishing place. Run by Māori women, with a very clear kaupapa.

And surprisingly it’s not really about domestic violence, though that is how people may first access the services.

There’s a plethora of issues around domestic violence. Homelessness is one of them.

If the victim is going to leave, or they want to, there is often nowhere for them to go.

Nowhere safe.

They become invisible.

As long as they’re not there anymore eh? As long as they’re out of the violence…..

The hid­den struggles of home­less women in Aotearoa | The Post Riana Bush is told not to return to one of the only life­lines avail­able to her. At least for the day. She’s sit­ting against a con­crete wall, point­ing at the yel­low dot­ted line she’s not allowed to cross. Bey­ond it is the Down­town Com­munity...

And back we go to the women's needs list.

A* specifically needs

Clothes for a 2-3 yr old year old boy

Size 10 boys Trackpants, un**es, shirts and jumpers

Men’s 3xl hoodies, tshirts and trackpants black if able

Woman’s 18-20 casual and work appropriate.

Size 14-16 girls swimwear T-shirt’s and pants

Many many thanks
Jackie

We would all like to thank everyone who has donated the very specific things that we requested to refill our storage unit. You’ve made us all incredibly happy. Now here’s another list…

Summer Needs:

Dinner Sets
Cutlery
Glasses
Brick a brac (ornaments etc) - the women really love those live laugh love things you hang on your wall. Stuff like that.
Shampoo and conditioner
Sunscreen
Swimming togs ( brand new) for all children sizes
Swimming noodles/floaties
Newborn Girls clothing
Girls size 1-4
Girls size 5-10

Thank you! Please message to get the delivery address in our auto reply

Kia Ora Aunties Community.
Z’s Good In The Hood has started.

And if you’re near Z Roscommon Rd, you can pop in there and you can vote for us to be given some $.

Simply ask for an orange token and pop it in the Aunties container (each service station is supporting four local charities).

Good evening Aunties Community.

A very special request.

Are you in Christchurch? Do you have drawers?

One of our whānau women, T, lives down there now.

And she needs

3x Low Boy 4drawer chest.
1x Low Boy 6drawer chest.

Please message me and I will give her your contact details.

Thanks
Jackie

Kia Ora Aunties community.
Today we're asking for a few random things.

M needs:
net curtains
king single bed base

M cannot pick up.

R needs a chromebook. We are given these from time to time, but we have run out.
This could be couriered to R. She works from home.

M(2) needs a desk and chair.
She's finishing off her Masters, this year, and is also writing and teaching training workshops for social work organisations (she's a qualified SW), so this would be handy!
M cannot pick up, she would need this to be delivered.

If you have any of these things, please message me, and I will give you their contact details.

We are in Auckland.

Good evening, lovely Aunties community.

A reminder that we need these clothes - particularly in sizes 12-24.

We have found that the women of the Aunties whānau are not accessing clothes from storage because they cannot find the sizes or styles they want.

So for the women’s clothes, they would like

Jeans (black or blue)
Leggings
Gym clothes - tights and tshirts
Hoodies
Long cardigans
Sweatpants
Basketball shorts

Bras - esp D cup and above. Sizes 12-20

Womens sneakers size 10-11

We do not want smart office or work clothes, or fancy clothes of any sort.

Think what you’d wear of a weekend.
Casual. Good condition.

Spring/summer clothes only please.
No jumpers.

Today we’re looking for some more unusual needs…..

B is looking for a king bed, base only.
We cannot pick this up. It would need to be delivered.

L is looking for…
A desk and chair.
Xbox games and a PS4.
These, we can pick up.

She also needs:
A double bed.
We cannot pick this up. It would need to be delivered.

K is looking for planter boxes.
We can pick these up.

And a car for her boy, who has saved up $2000. So if you know anyone who’s looking to sell their car, for around this price, we would be most grateful.

We are in Auckland.

Thank you.

Good evening Aunties community.

Today we’re focusing on the needs of F.

- coffee table
- single bed
- drawers

And also of M.

She needs drawers.

If you have any of these things, please message me. We can collect, thanks to a lovely Aunty who has offered to do this for smaller furniture.

Please note.

We are in Auckland.

Celebrity Treasure Island starts tonight!

And Mel Homer is playing to win us $100,000.

That sure would come in handy right about now.

So get watching and support Mel!

(The launch was the other night, and Aunty Phil went on our behalf).

Mōrena, Aunties community!

Another day, another woman's needs.
A very simple one today.

J needs a double bed, please. Base and mattress.
The women prefer beds that are not slatted.

And I'd like to remind everyone we need to restock our storage unit.

We desperately need bedding. Single, double, queen, and king.

Duvets - as long as they are stain free.
Duvet covers.
Sheets.
Pillows - new or unstained.
Pillowcases.

Towels in abundance. New or preloved is fine.

Thank you so much.
Have a wonderful day.
Jackie x

Kia Ora, Aunties community.

Today we're going to focus on L.

She needs

couch -
L shape only

Beds!
King Single x 2
queen size bed
king size bed

2xs draws

And a car for the teenagers to use.

If you have any of these things, please message me. We are based in Auckland (L is in East Akl) and she cannot pick up the beds, or couch. But could likely pick up the drawers if they aren't too far flung.

Many thanks
Jackie

Happy weekend, Aunties.

I’m wondering if anyone would like to be food fairies.
I instituted this in August and it’s going well, but we do need a couple more people to step up. This would mean an ongoing commitment to $150 a month, and you will be assigned one of the women that you would provide this service to. If you want to know more, please message me.

Kia Ora Aunties community

I’ve been struggling a bit with the amount of needs the women have, right now, on the needs list, and how to fulfill those for them in a timely manner. Some of these needs go back two years.

I was going to focus on one set of stuff a day but that didn’t work, so I think we are going to try focusing on one or two individual women’s needs a day.

Today, let’s focus on T.

She needs

- drawers

- a child’s bike (he’s 8)

If you have these things, or any of your circle of contacts has any of these things, please message me and I will give you her contact details.

It would be a great help if you would share these posts on your social media, as they come up.

We also need as much bedding as you can give to us.
Storage is looking bare right now, I popped down this morning to drop some stuff off and the bedding shelves are empty!

Many thanks
Jackie

In very exciting news, it’s Celebrity Treasure Island time again. And guess what? Melanie Homer is playing on our behalf. And we didn’t even know!

So support, support, support!

Activist to TV star: Tāme Iti joins Celebrity Treasure Island cast Prepare for a mic drop as some of Aotearoa's most famous faces are set to battle it out.

I understand that the list I made earlier this week may have been a bit overwhelming with the needs, so we'll focus on one lot a day.

Today that's men's clothes. These are largely for our teen boys, and older, from 12- 23. (A couple of the whanau women have their adult sons living with them).

These are big big boys. And they're tall.

So what we're looking for is men's sizes from L to # # .

Casual clothes.

Trackpants
basketball shorts
tshirts
hoodies
jeans

And big big shoes.

So if you're a masc person, or you have a man person in your life, who's looking to give their clean, in good condition, clothes to some really good homes. I'll hook you up!

Please please share with all your family and friends. Not just on social media, but in person. That's the best thing you can do for us.