The Bat & Ball Bags

A quick update on how the Bat & Ball bags became your Summer league champs!

There’s a story to be told here and it all starts on Sunday when the black caps s**t the bed.
Many of us armchair commentators couldn’t have been more disappointed at the abysmal display shown by our elite cricketers, what do kids these days have to look up to?! With an ever growing dad population we knew we needed to do better.

After several warm up beers we were ready to throw down a few balls in the nets. We knew we were in for a game after I sent down 3 balls on the stumps during the warmup, these are unheard of scenes, so really seen that it inspired me into winning the toss, also unheard of, like punctuation at this point.

Sent into bat or wait actually choosing to bat I was left with dissent in the ranks, the iconic GavDav combo balked at being sent out first leaving the team in disbelief. The only way to solve this was by dragging bell bag out to open with me, lead from the front they said. Can’t say that did us to much good.

Facing the first ball I did Latham proud with an inside from so far outside off stump it was probably wide that slammed back into the stumps. Great start. And it was tough going from then of for bell bag and I as we found runs as easily as we found wickets tapping out for a nice round 0 and leaving the next 3 partnerships like we hadn’t even turned up to play.

GavDav having seen the error of their ways new some redemption was needed, a solid 50 or so to restore balance to the system. Well they fell short, 42 runs was all they could muster with some safe shots and questionable running they keep the wickets to a minimum and the runs somewhat flowing. Must say since Nips has started doing yoga his game has improved back to what it was when he first joined the bags as spirited young teenager. Babes was out of sorts after wrangling signs all day on a lovely Wellington day, he’d need to put the effort in the field.

42 gave Hayden and Pete a headstart though and honestly not sure if they lost a wicket or not but they certainly played the side net. Nice safe innings from the lads with some good run accumulation scored maybe in the high 30s or thereabouts. Either way we had more runs than the first partnership.

Baghdad and Greater than had the daunting task of closing things out, usually good for the odd collapse the bags knew they needed more than that tonight. Again playing solid innings to leave us on 107 all out after 12 overs. A very ba***ag like innings of 1/4 and 3 other vastly different ones. The backnet seemed like the end of the runway tonight with Ol mate in the bandys catching or stopping every fu***ng ball.

Set 107 to chase the bandys thought they had this in the bag, little did they know that we’d actually learned how to field, although not evident really for the first 8 overs.

After a sensational warmup, I was chosen to bowl the first over, apparently everyone still inspired by my batting performance thought that best. New ball in hand I somehow found some movement on the very first ball only for it be put down under difficult circumstances behind the stumps. Not deterred I sent the next ball down only for it to be blasted Hayden who somehow got enough hand in the way to make me think I could catch it and catch it I did. And that good reader was the downfall of their innings this one moment in the game, and certainly not the 7 they got off the next ball. After restraining their open partnership to 30 odd runs it was game on.
Things were going back and forwards through the second partnership but towards the end of it wickets started to be taken.
By the time the third partnership came out the bags were taking wickets not usually seen! Catches were being made and rumours were being missed. None more iconic than when the bags thought they were the Harlem globetrotters and passed the ball between it least 5 players only to end in greater thans hands who showed unfounded mercy and decided to not break the stumps.

Things were starting to come undone for the bandys at this stage and that’s when babes decided that he had 4 seasons to make up for and couldn’t start life as a dad coming second. Things get blurry here but suffice to say babes took 5 wickets and took a hat trick on a very questionable no ball run out.

With the last partnership needing some 57 runs the pressure was really on the bandys to slap some backnet and that they tried and failed at. Wickets tumbled faster than a black cap collapse with the last partnership finding themselves well in the neggys for most of it. Nips left with with 69 runs to protect in the last over was still unsure if that was really enough, safe to say it was and the Ball bags were crowned your 2024 summer champions!

Exact course of events may or may not have been accurately accounted for.

Ballbags vs the Punters

Early in the week the bags thought of pulling out but unlike Baghdad they stayed true to the course. After scrounging up a team to play, minus topnet who needed the power hour to charge his EBike. They turned up for a 9pm game was no mean feat. After losing the toss as per usual the bags were sent in to bat first.

GavDav up first had something to prove tonight and prove it they did. Nips scored 0 wickets probably scored some runs but no one cares about that. He fed the chief though and Gav scored a stunning 24 singles and he would’ve had a 7 but he made a new hole in the top net for 0 runs. First partnership total of 0 + 24 = 56.

After a great opening partnership Hayden and Socky went in next aka Tall Timber. Wanting to develop there sapling partnership into a mighty Totara they started horribly with Socky giving away an easy wicket and it looked like the luck may not be with him tonight. That all changed in the second over with a couple of 7s from the big man and some pure shots from the business casual end the ball bags got back on a roll. This roll snowballed all the way to 46 and cleared the 100 for the first 2 partnerships.

There was a third partnership, somehow I find myself writing this last so I’ll keep it short and also I don’t remember. Logic says that the Nightman and Nath the fill in with Socks went out next. Needing some runs to keep the innings going the went out swinging and in no part thanks to some average fielding amassed another 36 runs.

After 3 great partnerships and some great captaincy all good things must come to an end and that was right now. Bell Bag and Rhino tasked with getting 26 to keep the trend going, dug themselves a hole in the first over. With wickets falling to every good ball and runs being scored on wides only its amazing these two got to 6 runs… in total but that’s just what they did, finishing the inning’s strongly.

Setting the punters a punishing total of approx 169 give or take a few runs the bags had some runs to play with.

Nips opening the bowling picked up a wicket straight away and got the bats off to the start they needed. Followed up by Nath with a stunning deflection to run out that had the opposition reeling. Rhino into bowl next and Hayden on the back net takes a stunning one hander and then drops a sitter in the next over. Babes finishes off the partnership literally with a Babality.

Second partnership kicks off with the injured nightman sending down a few pies that weren’t gobbled up. Socky brings some heat in the second over and is rewarded with a wicket for his efforts.
Hayden brings his usual steady the ship bowling style and sinks one wicket. The nightman closed out this partnership.

Bellbag opens things up with some sharp pace, a bit of bounce and no wickets. Rhino with a head of steam after 16 beers in the office produced nothing for his efforts. Nath comes in after 2 overs or we’ll nothing and the wickets start falling. Bell bag closed out the partnership with a solid wicket maybe.

With the game on the line the 4th innings had 100 odd runs to protect, no pressure here. You’d also hate to lose it from here.
Babes kept things tidy in the first over and Socky fresh from the pokies mid innings sent down a few chances which he cashed in on. Nips came in, during the toilet break I can only assume that he carried on with his batting form and got 0 wickets. Hayden the closer finished off with a solid over that produced chances none more so than Babes back handed dribbler that made its way like a snail towards the stump and somehow bet the Hare that was chasing it down.

With the Ball Bags achieving redemption and myself achieving what only Foster is dreaming about this weekend, we say good night.

Up against our arch nemesis team the Mixed vege things started off well with me losing the toss. Put into bat first the bags under legendary coach and injured player lefty sent a new opening partnership to test out the waters.

Bell bag and Socky got off to a great start by losing wickets left, right and center! I’m pretty sure if there was a way to lose a wicket these guys lost it (like Socky’s luck at the pokies it was yet to eventuate). That was until the last over which went for like 25 runs and that’s what they got!

After hectic scenes in the first partnership a reshuffle was called for and GavDav was brought into bring some runs. Well that was a s**t show too. KFC was the enemy on the day with these too teeing off straight into every fielder. 3rd over comes round and it was like they hit the jackpot that Socky is always searching for, Ozzies over. Somehow from the depths of Taira they emerged with some 30 odd runs just to lose a few in the final over and come out on 26.

3rd partnership had next to no pressure on them, they’re pretty much brothers and yet somehow they produced one of the best opening overs ever giving away 4 wickets in the first 4 balls and ultimately 5 in the over you couldn’t ask for anything more. Az and Awos had everything going for them after that, one of the most high scoring innings in every way. Not sure how they managed it but they got to 13.

Starting the 4th innings with 60 runs in the bank we looked to quickly go backwards and a score of 69 seemed a far, far way away. But with a bit of luck and some solid 5s every second one added to the score… Ayds and Rhino continued with the same form we’d seen earlier in the innings, chaotic. Somehow defying all odds we batted our way to 86.

It was clear to see at this point that the bags do not handle a late game well.

We’re not going to talk about the first 8 overs as it was a complete s**t show that gave up 106 runs. However indoor cricket is a game of 4 quarters and there were still 2 to go.

All of a sudden it was like beer started doing it’s job and the bags kicked into life. Defending 13 runs in the 3rd innings it seemed like a stretch. After a few quick wickets the game was back on with the bags choking them out and claiming a skin.

Coming into the 4th partnership the game was well lost however the skin was on the line and again the bags pulled there s**t together to claim another valuable point in the grading matches.

With the end result being 82 - 127 the bags have a bit of work to do before the finals. As I’ve learnt all good coaches don’t admit there faults, they wait 5 days hold a press conference and sack there assistants, expect big news later this week. Once again this game day report was bought to by Behemoth proud sponsors of the Ball Bags.

For next week
Raging bull: Bell bag
Cap: Nips (assistant coach)

First update in about 10 years. Turns out it’s been a lonely 10 years but the ball bags are still here and have been competitively social for that period. Expect more reports that you didn’t want from a game you didn’t need to know about 😂

18th July 2022

The Bat & Ball Bags up against the Brooklyn CC Highwaymen were always in for a challenge. Clearly this Brooklyn team thought they were clever by CCing in the Highwaymen, the outcome of this extra team was yet to be known.

After turning up early and finding the nets empty the Bags as per downed a few BEHEMOTH (sponsored) beers. Then set about showing the one sole person from the Highwaymen that turned up early what they were in store for.

After winning or losing the toss, one will never know the Bags were fielding first. The CC’s sent in 2 of there best to open and did well to see out an opening onslaught of aggressive bowling by the bags in the first partnership. Happy to hold them to 27ish in the first innings things were off to a shaky start.

I took the ball to begin the 2nd partnership after Nips thought he might have a bowl and backed that up with some terrible bowling that resulted in a runout and 2 run over. That was the fire the bags needed with a couple of strong overs restricting them to just 7.

The 3rd partnership was a s**t show - for the bags that is. After giving away a 7 on the first ball I tactically bowled 5 more wides to restrict them to just 18 in that over. This time around Nips actually nipped and may have taken a wicket or two again unknown but probable and slowed the runs down. This partnership got away to 39 and it looked like we could be losing a grip on this game.

4th Partnership was a game in the making with a few clutch moments including a run out from Jamie and an unlikely catch in the front of square slips from myself. The Nightman stepped up for the last over - interesting play by the captain but it paid off with a few brilliant stumping by Socky (may or may not have happened in this over but they did happen)
With the Bags restricting the CC’s to 91 it seemed like we were in for a chance.

Nips and the Import aka the Bat man aka Jamie went out to bat first and started strongly before a few bizarre moments aka wickets left them stumbling. Looking to close out the skin they came just short at 20 something runs. While this was happening on the court mutiny was happening on the benches with the batting order being decided without the skip.

After much debate Hayden and Socky went into chase down the daunting 7 run total for the 2nd wicket. What an innings from Hayden who played the steady hand, powerful back net hitting without giving away too many chances. Socky played his usual style with the full arc and resulted in a few wickets caught, but a huge improvement in not being run out this week. The glory of this innings 20 something runs may have been less? was when the big fella (Socky) took one to the ba***ags and is the law will continue to wear the cap next week.

With the game in the balance Rhino and myself went out to chase down the 39 as we had already decided around over 2 it was go big or go home, no thought was given to the overall run chase. With a blaze of glory and many missed opportunities we batted our way to a solid 35 with us just missing out on capturing that skin, thwarted by the ever present top net.

We’d set up a classic “hate to lose it from here” moment with the last partnership needing 14 runs. It was on the edge the whole time with ol mate ghinger chucka khan hurling down some skidders to get through Nathan (Dave’s mate who’s definitely better than Liam but probably not as good as Jamie) with one over left there was a 6 run buffer which was held to end with us playing powerfully and flexing our cricketing prowess over these CC’ers to take the win 102 - 91. And with that the ball bags kick off the winter season in style 💪

Crowning moments for next week -
Cap - remains with Socky
Raging Bull - Nips