FitVentures with BokZy

Lesson 6: Steady Pace Amidst the Hustle and Bustle

Many people are so eager to break free from the traditional 8-5 work hours, I myself included. Well, I must say it's for an array of reasons. For me, I want to be able to spend more time with my son. I want to be able to see his milestones and be able to work during my freetime at home--things which I cannot do before due to long hours of travel. One day and in God's grace, my husband will no longer be far for work. These reasons steer me to the path of freelancing.

In the second week of entering the freelancing world, I am already amazed with all the possibilities I see. Many of my co-trainees in the VA academy I enrolled in are already pros in their respective niches. They already have the skills and they still keep on learning more. One thing I learned the most is to have a steady pace amidst the hustle and bustle around you.

It's perfectly fine if others are already in the insurmountable heights of their careers. They were also once beginners and inexperienced in their fields. The only thing that set them apart from those who stopped freelancing was that these successful freelancers never cease trying to persist until they can get the right formula.

They said that there's no one-size-fits-all strategies, it takes months or even years of trial-and-error. Thus, I should have a steady pace regardless of the bustle I see. When I decided to embark this journey, I already knew that I need to hustle smart.

Now, looking back on my past experiences, I am immensely grateful because I learned values that transformed my mindset in a positive light. I cannot wait for what the future unfolds.

Lesson 5: Be Grateful Always

Sometimes, I cannot help but whine when things go awry like my vividly envisioned dreams;pragmatically set course of actions; and perfectly laid out plans.

I would lash out on God.

I would ask Him, "Why Lord?"

"What do you want me to learn from these things that are happening to me?"

"Why am I not improving the way I should be?"

"Why am I stuck in this mire of problems?"

"Why do I always end up in this kind of cycle?"

"Why do I always think this way?"

And then instantly, God would always remind me to be thankful for what I have:

When I mumbled negatively about the soul-crashing speed of the bus, God would show me a woman who doesn't have complete fingers but clutched onto the headrest with all her might.

I said to myself, "At least, I have all my fingers to clutch a little bit tighter, but here is this woman, who made me feel shameful in the eyes of God. She might not have been able to have a firm grip on the headrest but her determined eyes had no trace of retreat.

Whenever I feel the urge to hate my body for eating just a little bit more, God would let me witness beggars who only have little to no pennies to spare in buying a parcel of food--reminding me of the silent rumbling of their hollow stomachs.

I said to myself, "At least I have food on my table and I can still treat my family and myself to a meal outside. Many are sticks-and-bones for lack of adequate food, yet here I am, miserable about my body.

In all things--from the littlest to grandest of things,God would always remind me to be thankful no matter what the circumstances are.

Then, God would tug my heart and teach me to be thankful for the blessings I am given. He would rebuke the devil that is trying to tempt me to grumble. Little by little I give as I am given. I still extol God's name even if situations are not necessarily on my side. It is a wonderful moment to always count the blessings still either in good or bad times. It feels so good to receive God's goodness and share them to others--to be a channel of grace and mercy to others.

Lesson 4: Be still and Know that I am God (Psalm 46:10)

I think I am in my most turbulent times now in terms of balancing my work-family life. I have been facing a lot of challenges lately.

I don't really voice out my thoughts but sometimes they need escaping so I will be telling them now and how God manifested His existence for the nth times in my life.

When I was younger, there's only one way that I asked God's existence. I told Him that my life was a wreck. Having been raised in a broken home was never easy--everything was pure chaos.There's no joy and no love--so much more so that I believed broken homes meant broken dreams.

I already heard when I was younger that there's God. Although, I was never raised in a devout family, I would see my mother's faith translated into actions. There were always food on the table. Whatever she did prosper. With regard to my father, I dared not ask what's bothering their marriage. All I knew back then was their marriage was on a brink of collapse and when it finally happened, there's no more turning back. I was young and never really knew why couples separate.

Hence, for the littlest of hope I could seek, I asked God if He truly existed, He should manifest in my life by sending me a miracle and for the first time, He showed me that He truly exists.

When I thought all my hope for the future was gone, that was when He manifested who He is. I was able to study for free in an institution, where I found the meaning of love, joy, simplicity, and all other values you could think of. He showed me what 'stillness' looked like. It was my first joyful encounter with God.

After I graduated in High school, I would find myself working while also juggling my studies and maintaining my grades since I had scholarship. It was a roller coaster ride and something that I wouldn't have survived without the aid of the people who are dear to me- my family and relatives and my then-boyfriend-now-husband.

The two of us faced health problems that tested our love for each other. It was one of the greatest storms we faced but looking back now, I thanked God for sustaining us. He showed us that amidst the stormiest of nights, He's always on our side.

There were other storms we faced here and there as if we were drowning but God would always make the waters clear. Our faith sometimes would be weak like that of Peter when he was told by Jesus to walk on the sea, to which he almost drown. They were different scenarios for us but the same analogy--drowning because we lacked faith. Thinking about those times, I am ashamed to face God but He is the God of peace. He made this known to our lives over and over again.

Lastly, as what I've mentioned earlier, I have been facing challenges lately and my anxiety got the better of me. I would cry in my sleep and would ask God, why Lord? Things which you may have asked in some points of your lives. I cried in despair asking God please not my son. Please protect him at all cost. I would always pray to God, please protect me, please protect my family Lord. My son would always face health problems. I would also get sick, too but not the same suffering my son would face. He's young but he was already subjected to different drugs just to cure his sickness. Every other month, he would just get sick.

This has shaken me to my core that I am in my most turbulent state of mind right now. It affected my cadence in work. My momentum was far from when I started. I let this dampen my work life and now I am facing the guilt. The guilt of being mediocre, the guilt of being lackadaisical. I think I am not giving my all in teaching my students.

However, as I was traveling home today, God reminded me of one thing. Although, I just had a glimpse of what He was trying to say. It's as if I can hear His voice. He said, Be still and know that I am God. Yes, It was so clear that I am still sobbing until now. BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.

For the nth times, God always does wonders and yes, I will be still, knowing that YOU are my God. I will do my best not to be overwhelmed again by my fear and anxiety and when I do, I will always heed your word, God. Thank you for giving me an extraordinary stillness right now.

Sometimes, we just need to take the first step.

Lesson 3: Solitude and Silence

Every single day, I gradually like the feeling of being alone. Before, I would find it as saddening but as I grow in years, I have realized how it is becoming rare. It has become a luxury which many failed to see because we are taught to keep up with our daily grinds and networks of people. Do not get me wrong, we can build lasting, meaningful and even impactful relationships with families, friends, colleagues and even with mere strangers.

However, In solitude comes silence. It is in silence that we can express our thoughts, emotions, ideals, and aspirations. It is during these times that we are purified from our negative perceptions about life in general as we feel cathartic witnessing what other people may be going through worse than our own situations. It is during these times that we feel powerfully creative as our inner selves playfully guide us to think about our most brilliant ideas. It is during these times of solitude that we experience life's greatest epiphanies and eurekas. It is during these times of contemplation that we seek our purpose and meaning to our existence.

On the contrary, it is in silence that we are faced with battles no one knows about. It is in silence that we plummet into despair. It is in silence that we mentally fall into the bottomless pit. It is in silence that we fight the demons our minds have created.

Thus, in silent solitude we could either be the best or the worst company of ourselves.

Nonetheless, we should not let our minds be subdued by the darkest of nights that we are experiencing (such as problems, turmoils, setbacks, et cetera) but have unconquerable soul as suggested by William Ernest Henley's poem:

Out of the night that covers me
Black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In times of solitude, we should redirect ourselves to positive imaginings— creating our creative selves to innovate ideas that can serve our purpose in life and can contribute to the greater good of mankind.

I am certain that it is never easy for all of us to think this way but little by little, this redirection will prove valuable in our lives. Therefore, let us savor our moments of solitude for that is when we get reacquainted with ourselves and guard our minds with utmost vigilance and care.

Lesson 2: There's No Harm In Listening to Others: It Could be Life Changing

Yesterday was one of the most inspiring stories I have ever heard from a total stranger. I thought it was a normal travel time for me but I was totally blown away by this amazing woman, who shared her stories ranging from relatable experiences and struggles in commuting to deeper experiences about life, work, and love.

These are my takeaways:

1. God will always make sure to give you hope for the future.

Ate Paling shared her humble beginnings in starting her flower shop. During her teenage years, she worked mainly as a store assistant and for some occasions, helped her boss in doing chores. She got a fixed rate for her wages. However, after she got married, her pay would be determined based on the sales she would gain from selling goods to the customers. Little did she know that it would pave a way for her to start her own business because she was already earning more than she expected. She saved a certain amount and hit a jackpot when she was able to buy her own lot in Cebu City. She then started building a shop and after it was built, she and her husband began selling mosquito nets, angel-wing props, and even pillows and pillow-covers. Many would soon order from their shop. It was truly a humble and inspiring beginning. Her business grew and she and her husband would eventually buy their own house and lot somewhere in San Fernando, Cebu.

2. God will always bless a marriage that is founded in love, respect, and faithfulness.

Ate Paling and her late husband, Kuya Edward are such an inspiration not only for me but also for other couples to work better in our commitment with our partners. Their unfailing love led them to happier and more comfortable life. All throughout almost two decades of their love for one another, they would always stick to each other through ups and downs in their lives. Ate Paling told me that although she was twenty years older and she could not bear a child, her husband remained faithful to her. Through thick and thin, they faced head on all the challenges of their married life. They never faltered in their vows. Honestly, I was sobbing all along while ate Paling shared her life story. It breaks my heart how pure their love for each other that even after death, she would still recall their love and fond memories as if Kuya Edward is still alive.

3. There will be rainbow always after the rain.

When Kuya Edward was still alive, he has already prepared Ate Paling with everything she needed to know. Ate Paling never hinted that it would already be the start of facing the pain of loss. Due to complication from diabetes, Kuya Edward passed away. She was devasted about her husband's loss that she did not want to go to church anymore. She questioned God. Based from her story, I can still see the pain in her eyes. Being a devout Catholic, she and kuya Edward would offer flowers during masses but because of his death, she lost her drive to continue being one until one of the sisters from the said church convinced her of going back to Lord. Being touched again, ate Paling regained her strength after one year of being devoured by the pain of loss. She told me that her life will never be the same again. Facing the tumultuous pain of loss was something that she's always reminded of every time few customers asked her where her husband was. It was a gruelling first year of sorrow. She dared not sleep in their room for it would pain her all over again. However, a year had passed and she just woke up realizing that even though Kuya Edward was no longer around, their happy memories and love for each other still lingers-even after death. She told me that Kuya Edward was irreplaceable--no man will ever equate with him in her eyes. She will always love him for the rest of her life. She learned to let the pain subsides although, it will never be totally gone--all for her sake and all her loved ones, who love her dearly and help her get back on her feet.

4. Continue pressing on even in the midst of uncertainties for there will always be people who will support you no matter what.

Ate Paling, who is now 61 years old faced ordeals when their flowershop somewhere in Freedom Park, was demolished--leaving her no choice but to comply. She started from scratch again but she never lose hope. Yesterday, as we were talking, I can still feel the fire in her eyes to keep pressing on. Imagine every single day, she would commute just to save more money so that she can still pay the bills and provide not only for her but for her nephews, nieces, and grandchildren. I told her that although she was not given a child, she's still blessed with 11 nephews and nieces along with her dogs. She proudly affirmed what I said by telling me that she was absolutely loved by them. She even mentioned her grandchild, who she believes will grow up not only book smart (because she'd always encourage him to study well) but also street smart (describing his bubbly personality in dealing with potential customers). Her late husband's nephew is also working alongside her--supporting and assisting her. I am truly amazed. I was laughing and crying at the same time. Her life story is truly an inspiration. I believe that this is one of my best gifts for my birthday--to be able to meet an amazing woman like ate Paling. As we bade our goodbyes yesterday, I know that all the lessons I got from her will always be remembered. I promise to visit her soon since our conversation was cut short.

P. S. If you want to buy from her shop--just go to Carbon Public Market, the newly built building, where flowers are sold and look for Number 17 Stall: Paling Canete. At least with her old age, we can still support her business.

Lesson 1: Little by little

Today, I feel pain from every corner of my body. This feeling is so new for me.

I remember ten years ago, this was not a big deal for me. The aches I would feel would be from rigorous bodily movements.

Those years, when I could leap as high as I could go deep during long stretches of strenuous but fulfilling many a tasks; Jump easily as though I could hurdle every hump during Sundays when my energy is at its peakest point; Dance gracefully while I'm lost in a trance brought by melodious or mirthful songs.

It was different back then. The vivacity of my youth flashed as of writing. I can only say to myself, "How will I ever go back to how I used to be?"

I bet my sedentary lifestyle right now and my lack of actionable steps to change for the better will eventually haunt me sooner than I can imagine.

Hence, before I succumb to these dark imaginings I fret for myself, I should change inactions with actions, pessimism with optimism and urgency with consistency.

I truly believe that changing for the better takes time—truth be told, everything takes time. I should not dread something that is happening to me now because these were the results of my inactions, fear, and wrong discernment about life.

However, as much as I dwell on my current situation, I should find a way instead. I should slowly take little steps to improve my lifestyle, my choice of people, and my goals. Small steps are still a step and a little progress is still a progress.

"Little by little, " an acorn said as it slowly sank on its mossy bed, "I am improving every day, hidden deep on the earth's away."

These lines from the poem are so close to my heart. I should think of an acorn. I should say to myself, "Little by little, I am improving every day!