Pen's Ink

When everyone finally decides to care, I hope it won't be too late.

Maybe we're meant to shine up there.

One of my biggest regrets in life was not holding on to my friends tightly enough.

The sad truth is, after giving it your all, people will still crave more.

And when the time comes that I become silent, that is when my soul has already found peace—the kind that cannot be taken away, for it's eternal.

Of course, no one would ask. No one would care. No one would lend a shoulder and an ear. No one would come.

While everyone's rejoicing in their own homes with their loved ones, I am once again letting rain pour on my pillows. Oh, what a great way to celebrate.

No one would dare to dive into waves this big.

I have never felt so lost in my own home.

Nothing's merry about this day.

I am being taken for granted, but I always fail to stop showing kindness, afraid that I'll be left behind if I do so.

At the end of the day, I have come to learn that I am my own self's only companion.

I thought I'd be okay with not receiving the same amount of energy I give.

Why does it have to be this heavy every time?

Oh, how I wish for this storm to never end
So that my tears will continue to be one with the tides
So that my sobs will continue to be silenced by the howling winds
So that my broken soul will find belonging in the shattered pieces of my home

Maybe the world will start paying attention after I put an end to everything.

same feelings, same thoughts
just three years apart

Now we sit in silence.

This world is too beautiful to have me in it. I am not worthy of the opportunity I was given.

You know what's funny? It's when they pretend to sympathize and don't take the blame for what they did wrong. It's when they refuse to take responsibility for the damage, the very reason why you can never be whole again.

It's kinda funny how people can invalidate feelings just because they weren't the ones who had been in that situation.

I am really grateful to those who know how to recognize efforts, those who are aware of how hard I've been trying just to keep up with people's expectations. I've sacrificed a lot just to juggle my responsibilities. I don't deserve to be treated like trash that gets thrown away after being used.

I am quite familiar with this feeling of being left out. I've been here multiple times. I just did not see this coming at this age. I thought I'd understand people better if I got older. I thought I'd choose to see the bigger picture first before letting my emotions take over but I was wrong. This is by far the ugliest feeling I've felt this year. Not being there when you pulled all-nighters does not make me insignificant. I thought I'd let you know.

It's okay to not have anyone by your side during dark times. Maybe the people you're expecting are also carrying their own baggage and are also in need of someone to help them carry their load. It is not always about choosing not to be available for you. But yes, I know sometimes it's hard to accept, especially when you just want them to sit with you and just be there. No words needed. But just so you know, you're not asking for too much. You're human too. You're bound to ask for company especially when you need it the most.

Nights are becoming much longer for me this summer.

Certain memories are bound to stay even after people leave. They are the only ones that are permanent in this world where people come and go as they please.

In spite of receiving nothing from people whom you have helped, still choose to be kind and giving. In spite of receiving hatred, still choose to be that person who forgives, the one who still sees the good in people. Besides, the world needs healing, even the people in it. So be that someone with a good heart. The world needs more people like you.

I do hope that when people choose to enter your life, they will also choose to stay.

I was so busy loving other people that I have forgotten about myself and that I am also worthy of that love.

Rain pours for a reason. And most of the time, I believe it's to lead lost souls to their homes and prompt them to seek shelter.