Jade Spielman, LMFT-Emerald Ridge Therapy PLLC

Home | Center I'm Dr. Jo, founder of the international NGO the MISS Foundation, author of the award winning best seller, "Bearing the Unbearable: Love, loss, and the heartbreaking path of grief", Professor at Arizona State University and director of the Graduate Certificate in Trauma and Bereavement Program there...

To all you Mamas who don’t have those babies here with you, you are STILL their mamas.

Listen, I work with moms EVERYDAY and no matter why I’m seeing them the subject of them questioning their parenting almost always comes up at some point. This is HARD! So re-read this a few times and let this sink in and then share it with a mama you know needs the reminder!

Reach out, find the help you need. If you don’t feel okay, it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Photo credit: The Postpartum Support Center

Pregnancy loss no matter how far along you are…infant loss no matter how old they are…you can’t bear it alone.

Hello and Welcome to Emerald Ridge Therapy PLLC, now in Greensboro, North Carolina! If you are interested in learning more please read below or feel free to message, email or call for more info.

I work with children, adolescents, adults, couples and families on a variety of issues, with concentrations and specializations in grief and loss therapy, the postpartum phases of life and pregnancy/infant loss. Whether it is the loss of a person, loss of a job, or loss of a dream that you had once hoped for; I am trained and dedicated to providing a safe and compassionate space to process the phases of loss. In addition to grief and loss issues; I treat clients with a variety of issues including depression, anxiety, stress management, trauma, chronic illness, abuse, phase of life issues, marital/couple conflict and divorce.

I am specially trained in Perinatal/Postpartum mood disorders and pregnancy and infant loss. Many individuals I meet with are experiencing challenges with bonding, work/life balance, family stress, and/or hopelessness. In addition, I support individuals and couples with grief related to fertility challenges or pregnancy and infant loss.

I offer a therapy space that is reflective, collaborative, and non-judgmental. I use a client centered approach to ensure that each of my clients feels respected, understood, valued, and accepted. I am passionate about walking alongside my clients as they seek growth, create happiness and balance in life.

To all the dads who are grieving also💙

Happy 'HOT' Wellness Wednesday, Mamas!

I wanted to do something a little different today as we approach Fathers day this weekend. Sometimes as loss Moms, we struggle to know how to support our boyfriends, husbands, or significant others as they grieve the loss of their sons and daughters also. As dads, the expectations society places on them can be difficult, as if their grief is unwarranted or less important. BUT, of course it isn't!! The loss of a baby is a whole family issue instead of just a women's issue. Here are only a few helpful tips that can begin to help us to support dads and work toward slowly shaping a culture around Men's pain and need also.

1. Understanding that Men grieve too. Even if you don't see it, it is true. Sometimes grief is hard to identify when we are in it ourselves, but as we grow forward we begin to put language to the experience. A man does this too, sometimes needing more time, sometimes needing less.

2. Invite conversation about his grief. Ask open ended questions about his grief and make sure to be okay with whether he wants to answer or not. When he does want to talk, listen to understand, without imposing your view or grief on his.

3. Try to notice ways he is supporting you in your grief. Acknowledge and thank him. This is very hard when you are hurting, but do your best so you knows you care and appreciate it.

4. Ask him if there is something he would like to do to help say 'goodbye' or celebrate your baby. Maybe a ritual or a memorial that is his idea. Do not just tell him what you are doing but include him and create ideas with mutual input.

5. Remember that everyone grieves differently. Give grace just as we want others to give grace to us. Don't ever judge or accuse him of "not grieving enough" or "not caring enough", or any other "enough" or "at least" statements. These are hurtful and never productive.

6. ALWAYS remember him on Fathers Day or any other days that may be significant to him.

7. INVITE him to join our private NFTS Dads group. A safe place for him to share + grieve + celebrate with other dads. www.facebook.com/groups/342376260569780/

And Lastly,

7. Lean into your marriage or relationship. Grief can be so incredibly isolating so taking steps to lean in toward each other when its hard is crucial. Walking through this loss together could be one of the most bonding experiences of your relationship or it can also be something that creates a large rift. So, if possible, and safe, when you are hurting, lean in and turn toward your significant each other.

Do any of these resonate with you? Or other things you have found to be successful in supporting or connecting with your significant other through loss?

Remember to hold space this Fathers day weekend for all the men who are grieving and hurting for their sons and daughters also! We can do this TOGETHER!

Jade Spielman, LMFT and NFTS Angel Mom

Happy Wednesday Mamas! Jade here.

"On Mothers Day, I can think of no other mother more deserving that a mother who had to give one back". --Erma Bombeck

As I am sure we are all aware of (though it is okay to be in denial too), Mothers day is this weekend. Mothers day.....a day I think we can all agree is an emotionally loaded holiday. Whether we have earthly children with us or not, we will always remember that our baby/babies are missing on this holiday. We may grieve the missing homemade cards or the meals they prepare because they swear it is your 'fave'. We may grieve all the future mothers days without our children on earth.

I want to remind you to be gentle with yourself, to listen to your body and do what it is nudging you toward. Maybe its crying alone, laughing with friends, screaming into a pillow, going out with family + distracting yourself with fun activities for the day, or just taking some time for yourself. Listen to your body + listen to what your grief is telling you on this emotionally trying day.

Also, have grace and compassion with yourself and these feelings. There is nothing you are 'supposed to' or 'not supposed to' feel. There is nothing normal about having to grieve the loss of your child/children on Mother's Day. Treat yourself this weekend just as you would treat someone you care about who is grieving their own loss.

So mamas, a gentle reminder for this weekend that you are seen, you are held, you are understood, and while you mamas certainly do not deserve this type of pain; you do deserve to be loved and supported through it.

May compassion and strength surround you. Please reach out if needed.

Let yourself feel your grief....and reach out if you need support! I will walk a long side of you.

"Learning to be still whilst in emotional pain is incredibly hard, but it is a skill worth striving for. One's senses tell us to fight the pain, to struggle for survival, but actually, it is when one submits to the agony and lays on the floor saying 'I am done', that the brain allows you to process the pain". --Zoe Clark-Coates

Jade here. Its Wellness Wednesday!

Can any of you relate to the quote above? Our bodies go through so much physical, emotional and mental fatigue while we are grieving; especially in our very early grief. All of the feelings encompassed in our hearts and minds are HARD and confusing. Sometimes we think it may be easier to not feel them at all. It is tempting to push our grief down and ignore it, or busy ourselves with tasks or throw ourselves into other activities. When we are doing other things, sometimes it is actually possible for our grief to be silenced temporarily. While we want to do other things and function, we also want to ensure balance. A space to grieve AND a space to occupy ourselves with other things. When we push down or ignore our grief for too long, we end up with delayed or complicated grief which can be more difficult to process.

When the grief process has been delayed, it will typically start, or restart, in its own time and often in unexpected, unpredictable ways. It might emerge when someone experiences another loss. For example, the loss of a pet may trigger memories of a relative’s death that wasn’t grieved fully at the time. It might be triggered by an event or item relating to the loss, such as finding an old photo, hearing music from a funeral, or going to a place that echoes with memories. The grief might begin when things have become more settled, and a person has more time to think and reflect.

Grief takes its own time. It cannot be forced. The good news is, that when delayed grief ends, the grief can still be experienced in normal and healthy ways. A person’s grief may be intense for awhile, just as it would have been when the loss first happened, sometimes making it feel harder because the support people in your life have moved past despite you needing their support in your grieving. Self-care and stress management strategies can all be helpful. When it becomes overwhelming, you can reach out to your support networks, joining a group like No Foot Too Small Moms group or by seeing a therapist.

If you are reading this post, it means you are a part of the No Foot Too Small family, and no matter when, where or how hard your grief hits you, we are here for you. Reach out to other mamas who know your grief, connect to an Angel Ambassador in your area, and as always, please reach out to me with any questions or just to chat. We are walking WITH YOU...

Jade Spielman, LMFT and NFTS Angel Momma

www.nofoottoosmall.org

Happy Wellness Wednesday Warrior Mamas--Jade here.

I read an anonymous quote the other day, "I dream of a world where grieving isn't hidden away or suppressed but rather where we can mourn, remember, honor, and celebrate together."

Yes- 100% right?!? But also, this is the beauty of NFTS. A group that allows space and the privilege to not have to hide or suppress our grief. Thank goodness for this place to share + celebrate our stories! When we push down or suppress your grief it comes back harder, stronger, and more intense than ever. You DESERVE to grieve your babies + the secondary losses that come from losing your babies, and the dreams that are lost.

Your reminder for today (or whenever you might need it), is this:

You deserve to be surrounded by people who do not shame you for feeling the way you feel about the greatest loss(es) of your life.

You deserve to be surrounded by people who care about you + love you deeply.

You deserve to be surrounded by people who acknowledge what you have been through and what are you STILL going through... those who don't make you feel guilty for not being the person you were before your loss.

You deserve to be surrounded by people who don't expect you to keep quiet about your grief and about your love.

And you deserve be surrounded by people who wrap you in love...people who know in the depths of their hearts what this pain is like - an ebb and flow, a constant dance of sorrow and joy, pain and sweet love.

Hang on, mamas, we are these people, NFTS is full of your people. You aren't alone as together we can do this…together we can do anything.

Jade Spielman, LMFT and NFTS Angel Mom

Come and join with us tonight, 7pm, connecting with other moms on this similar journey!

If you have experienced pregnancy or infant loss, no matter WHEN it was, you are welcome. Share your story or just listen along. Wherever you are in your story, we welcome you!

Join us for our March's Virtual Mom's Group tonight!

Log on in jammies or head-to-toe-sequins.
Log on with tears or with smiles.
Log on with wine or with water.
Log on and share or just to listen.
Just log on.

Join us. C E L E B R A T E your angel(s) + U N I T E with other bereaved mamas. We see you. We hear you. We welcome you.

See you tonight! 👩🏻‍💻👩🏼‍💻👩🏽‍💻

https://fb.me/e/4abksohWB

Virtual and in-person options available🙌🏻

Check out this amazing line-up for our upcoming Good Grief Conference on April 16th! Some of the area's best speakers on grief + loss will share the stage with keynote speaker, Nora McInerny!

All are welcome. Join us!
https://www.nofoottoosmall.org/events/

Jade Spielman Robin Boudreau Lindsay Leahy Courtney Misener