Dante Spetter, Ph.D.

Be stubborn in your goals, but flexible in your methods. If you need help with other part of this, please reach out.

Thank you, , for this inspiring image.

What are you hoping for in 2023? What made you grateful in 2022? It’s a great time to set your path for the next year.

Some great ideas for dealing with holiday stress. Happy Thanksgiving.

And, part of watering it is self care. If you struggle to prioritize your own needs, especially if you care for others, I can help. Caring (childcare, elder care, teaching) is emotionally draining. It can be aggravating, frustrating and hard some days. Let me help you reconnect with the joyous part especially during the busy holiday season.

www.johnlefebvre.ca

As we move into the darker months, and the second half of fall semester, you and our children may be feeling increasingly stressed or down. Try to get outside - the sun will do you good even if it is chilly. And, think about calling me if things seem to be getting worse.

What do you think?

https://www.instagram.com/minionquoutes/

If you are having trouble with remembering, you may benefit from working with a dating coach or a psychotherapist. Call me!

Does this sound like you? If so, you are not alone. If you think you would benefit from a consultation to think about how to move forward, call me.

There's a name for the blah you're feeling: It's called languishing A sense of stagnation and emptiness may be the dominant emotion of 2021.

So many of us are so weary. We fall into habits that rarely bring joy. If you want help flipping the switch, or feel like you are floundering call me.

Happy Scrolling 💕 🦖

As stated here, your child’s pediatrician is a great first stop if you are concerned. S/he can help you decide if you need to go to the ER or need a MH professional. If you are seeking an evaluation or psychotherapy call me.

Mental Health During COVID-19: Signs Your Child May Need More Support Teens can have an especially hard time coping during the COVID-19 pandemic. Here are ways to help parents keep lines of communication open, identify signs of mental health struggles, and how to know when to seek extra support.

Wishing everyone a happy and healthy 2021. This year, skip the resolutions and set goals instead. And, if you tell people your goals it increases the likelihood you will persist in working toward them so shout it from the rooftops.

Does this sound like you? Maybe now, despite the burden of taking care of everyone around you due to COVID, you can (you must?) take time to work on it. Telehealth sessions mean there is no driving time and you will still be home for your family. If it’s time, call me!

Sis, the inability to receive support from others is a trauma response.

Your “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning is a survival tactic. You needed it to shield your tender heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you.

From the parent who was absent by choice or by the circumstance of working three jobs to feed and house you.

From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but no offered no safe haven that honored your heart.

From the friendships that always took more than they gave.

From all the situations when someone told you “we’re in this together” then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when isht got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too.

From the lies. The betrayals.

You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point.

Ultra-independence is a *trust issue.*

You learned: if I don’t put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won’t have to be disappointed when they don’t show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will always drop the ball sooner or later, right?

You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt women who came before you.

Ultra-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak.

So, you don’t trust anyone.

And you don’t trust yourself, either, to choose people.

To trust is to hope, to trust is vulnerability.

“Never again,” you vowed.

But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth it’s your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall.

Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either.

Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming.

It’s trauma response.

The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed.

You are worthy of having support.
You are worthy of having true partnership.
You are worthy of love.
You are worthy of having your heart held.
You are worthy to be adored.
You are worthy to be cherished.

You are worthy to have someone say, “You rest. I got this.” And actually deliver on that promise.

You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy.
Worthy, sis.
You are worthy.

You don’t have to earn it.
You don’t have to prove it.
You don’t have to bargain for it.
You don’t have to beg for it.

You are worthy.
Worthy.

Simply because you exist.

I love you. 🧡~J.

Credit: Original image by Rising Woman, reposted from The Womb Sauna. Commentary by Jamila White, Psychic & Life Coach (FB: http://fb.me/inspiredjamila, IG: .jamila)

Permission to share/repost is gladly granted as long as:
1. It is kept in its original, unedited form; and
2. Full authorship credit is given with my name. A link/tag is appreciated.
Thank you!

Hang in there. Dads too.

💕 You’re not failing 💕

And not every parent can do it all either. In fact none of us can do it all at the same time. Be kind. To yourself and to others.

If you are , we see you. We need you. Thank you.

7 Guidelines for Co-parenting during our health emergency. People have been asking me "should I send my child" and "must I send my child" to his or her other parent....These guidelines are from AFCC, the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts an organization of legal and mental health professionals working with Court involved kids and families.

1. BE HEALTHY.

Comply with all CDC and local and state guidelines and model good behavior for your children with intensive hand washing, wiping down surfaces and other objects that are frequently touched, and maintaining social distancing. This also means BE INFORMED. Stay in touch with the most reliable media sources and avoid the rumor mill on social media.

2. BE MINDFUL.

Be honest about the seriousness of the pandemic but maintain a calm attitude and convey to your children your belief that everything will return to normal in time. Avoid making careless comments in front of the children and exposing them to endless media coverage intended for adults. Don’t leave the news on 24/7, for instance. But, at the same time, encourage your children to ask questions and express their concerns and answer them truthfully at a level that is age-appropriate.

3. BE COMPLIANT with court orders and custody agreements.

As much as possible, try to avoid reinventing the wheel despite the unusual circumstances. The custody agreement or court order exists to prevent endless haggling over the details of timesharing. In some jurisdictions there are even standing orders mandating that, if schools are closed, custody agreements should remain in force as though school were still in session.

4. BE CREATIVE.

At the same time, it would be foolish to expect that nothing will change when people are being advised not to fly and vacation attractions such as amusement parks, museums and entertainment venues are closing all over the US and the world. In addition, some parents will have to work extra hours to help deal with the crisis and other parents may be out of work or working reduced hours for a time. Plans will inevitably have to change. Encourage closeness with the parent who is not going to see the child through shared books, movies, games and FaceTime or Skype.

5. BE TRANSPARENT.

Provide honest information to your co-parent about any suspected or confirmed exposure to the virus, and try to agree on what steps each of you will take to protect the child from exposure. Certainly both parents should be informed at once if the child is exhibiting any possible symptoms of the virus.

6. BE GENEROUS.

Try to provide makeup time to the parent who missed out, if at all possible. Family law judges expect reasonable accommodations when they can be made and will take seriously concerns raised in later filings about parents who are inflexible in highly unusual circumstances.

7. BE UNDERSTANDING.

There is no doubt that the pandemic will pose an economic hardship and lead to lost earnings for many, many parents, both those who are paying child support and those who are receiving child support. The parent who is paying should try to provide something, even if it can’t be the full amount. The parent who is receiving payments should try to be accommodating under these challenging and temporary circumstances.

Adversity can become an opportunity for parents to come together and focus on what is best for the child. For many children, the strange days of the pandemic will leave vivid memories. It’s important for every child to know and remember that both parents did everything they could to explain what was happening and to keep their child safe.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/parenting-isnt-over-when-kids-grow-up-11579323660?fbclid=IwAR3gV-YTPDTpyYEbfWvBY7p8C1_uYpb24Qgm_hvaIYPCfpM-6YtJNvPRd4Y

Parenting Isn’t Over When Kids Grow Up With so many young adults still relying on parents for support, the challenge is how to help them without undermining their independence.

And if you can’t get past your past, call me!

As the mornings get darker, many of us get tired. Do you think you have seasonal mood changes? For most of us, they are mild but for some people they get out of hand. Try to get outside during the day, but if it seems like more than you can do, call me.

Whatever you are working on, be it fitness, being calmer, not losing your temper, organizational and other executive functioning skills or self love, I read this today and I think it applies....
NOT SEEING RESULTS? Feel like giving up? Consider this: the LAST thing to grow on a fruit tree…is the fruit. Keep pushing!
And, if I can help, contact me!

This is GREAT news. This means that just like going to a medical appointment or staying home to care for a sick child or parent, caring for your child's educational needs counts.

Labor Dept rules IEP meetings a valid reason for family and medical leave The opinion gives educators a tool for helping families participate in addressing their children's special education needs.

This is especially true if you are taking care of others. If you are taking care of children. If you are helping aging parents. If your work is teaching, or childcare, or health care. If you are "not good at it" call me and let's work on it together.

I know Rachel and she is the best. This might be right for you.

Post-Divorce Boot Camp with Rachel Greenwald – Canyon Ranch

Think about it.

I agree

So let's help our children be their very best selves, and let's love who they are every step of the way.

I just heard about this... looks like a great option. But please do your own homework to see if it is right for your family.

This Resort Is The First-Ever Certified Resort For Children On The Autism Spectrum Parents of children with special needs have to navigate the world a little differently when it comes to everything from toys to education to travel. Fortunately, there are now more vacation options for families with children on the autism spectrum, thanks to Beaches Resorts by Sandals, as the resort...

Very excited. Talking to someone who wants to donate money to sponsor some important family research this afternoon. If we get the funds, I may be able to offer some free (actually we pay you) services to families dealing with visitation refusal.