Alma Poljarevic, PhD, LPC, LMFT

RIP Sue Johnson, greatest of all time. We will continue to honor you and uphold your legacy.

From h.e.l.e.n.m.a.r.i.e

Domestic Abuse Texting Hotline Now Open in St. Louis Safe Connections has been providing help for survivors of domestic and sexual violence in the St. Louis area for more that 40 years, and now...

Spanking, threats, yelling, timeouts.⁠
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They can work in the moment. They can stop that bad behavior in its tracks right then and there.⁠
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Why? These punishment-based discipline techniques elicit fear.⁠
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When a child, or even an adult, is afraid, they go into fight, flight or freeze mode: They stop in their tracks - freeze. Or kick and hit you on their way up to their punishment - fight.⁠ Or try to run away from you - flight.⁠
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But, did you know that research shows punishment-based discipline such as spanking actually causes MORE unwanted behavior?🤯⁠
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Yep, if you feel stuck in an endless cycle of yelling/disciplining only to come across MORE bad behavior the next day, you're not alone. You're not a bad parent. Your kid is not a bad kid. We just need to shift the strategy.✅⁠
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We're rejecting the old school way of punishment-based discipline and going with research baby!👩🏼‍🔬👩🏻‍🔬📈⁠
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When we discipline in a way that protects our kids' self esteem, and boosts confidence and connection? That's where the magic happens.✨🌾✨⁠
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✨Short term✨⁠
It's actually a more effective strategy to get those unwanted behaviors to stop. Hitting, not throwing food on the ground, sharing, speaking respectfully. When we discipline while still making our kids feel seen, heard, and important: We avoid the shame and the fear all together. That's where the behavior starts to shift.💯⁠
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✨Long term✨⁠
Someday, when your little babe is a big kid, or a teenager, or an adult out in the world and makes a mistake, you'll be the first person they will call, knowing you will rush to their side.⁠ Knowing that while you don't agree with the mistake, that there is nothing to fear. That you see them beyond the mistake, that you love them unconditionally, and that you're on their team.⁠
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🔅Do you need help disciplining in a way that is both firm, effective AND protects our kid's self esteem? We have a whole discipline module in our course, "Winning the Toddler Stage," that teaches you exactly how and when to discipline your kid in a way that WORKS. Link in bio🔅⁠
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