Kyle Ayers

A couple tweets for the folks who like tweets. Share em to defeat the algorithm.

If you wait too long to shop for your dog’s Halloween costume all that will be left is “employee of this business”

Catrick Mahomes

Kansas City buds. Doing a show tomorrow (Sunday) at Knuckleheads. Great lineup. Chiefs are on a bye, so come out.

Off The Rails Comedy (Live from Knucklehead's Saloon) The Barrel is stock full of the best comedy shows in KCMO. Find a show near you or travel to catch one because these are all can't miss!

If you sub to our $15/mo tier on patreon you'd be getting these Before & After stickers in the mail shortly!

Sleepless in Seantzle. CrueLa La Land. Theory of Everything Everywhere All At Once.

Plus bonus pods, ad-free Never Seen It, shoutouts on NSI +more!

http://patreon.com/neverseenit

Been off my feet and in my head a lot lately but it was lovely to tell some jokes on ’s wonderful show. 📷

Don’t care that it’s the wrong joker or a bus, it’s fun.

Santa Cruz! I'm around Thur-Sat this week doing shows and the Santa Cruz Comedy Festival! Details at dnascomedylab.com DNAs Comedy Lab

Sad story but hilarious time to cut the article off and ask me to subscribe.

Long tweet the Queen.

Up on the patreon with I talk with Mike Carrozza Comedian about my broken foot and other broken bones past, plus a stupid game about targeted t-shirts.

The Kyle Ayers Show 01 - Mike Carrozza | Kyle Ayers and Never Seen It on Patreon Official Post from Kyle Ayers and Never Seen It

Always wonderful seeing (who obviously took this)

Look he’s the worst dude there is but come on you laughed at this a little bit.

I hope she finds closure and peace.

Imagine someone walks up and says to you "You had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year."

Like, ok?

I watch the hot dog eating contest because it's the only sport left where I am younger than some of the athletes.

Denver tonight! Come out! Only show I'm doing in town, one night!

https://thegrawlix.ticketsauce.com/e/grawlix0622

The Supreme Court is just any regular court but with sour cream and tomatoes.

Denver! See ya Saturday!

https://thegrawlix.ticketsauce.com/e/grawlix0622

Denver! I'm headlining THIS SATURDAY 6/25. Amazing lineup. Grawlix are the funniest people anywhere. Come out! Ticket link in my bio.

Wearing two shirts at the same time at the live Never Seen It show a couple weeks ago at Dynasty Typewriter.



📸 .feiner

tried that AI generator wtf

Had a birthday yesterday and I don’t feel two days over 34. Hope everyone is well.

Live in LA this Sunday! Come out folks! First live one in a long while. Check out this lineup.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/never-seen-it-ft-maggie-maye-steph-tolev-danny-jolles-more-tickets-328362831067

People are telling me I waited until the last minute to do my taxes like there's not hundreds of minutes left before they're due.

SF / Bay Area folks I'm gonna be at the SF Punch Line featuring for
Shane Torres tomorrow through Saturday shows. Buncha shows. Come out! Tell a friend!

https://punchlinecomedyclub.com

When I worked at the Genius Bar at the Apple Store people would tell me their phone broke too easily and I'd tell them to take that up with the kid who made it.

When I get on an airplane I immediately pull out sudoku and fill a puzzle in as fast as I can. Person next to me doesn’t know it’s wrong, they just think they're sitting next to Good Will Hunting

The Masters and Opening Day on the same day? What a day for sports my dad loves and falls asleep watching.

Spotify's algorithm is great. Do you like these eight songs? Great, here they are forever in various orders.

The night where Hollywood shines.

I recently started running and I found a really great way to set a personal record for a mile is to have eaten this shredded chicken burrito I made 20 minutes before my run.

Everyone gets into comedy for one of two reasons. 1) To become president of a country and lead them through a war 2) get fake-killed by the most famous musician in the world in their claymation music video

Hello I am now officially a published poet, please adjust how we interact accordingly. I’ve got six haikus in this wonderful book alongside some legendary comedians. Put together by Gabe Henry to benefit Comedy Gives Back. The book comes out tomorrow, find it on Amazon!

I've got a new pod where I ask my friends one very dumb questions. It's only on patreon, and there's a few episodes up already.

Here I asked Caleb Synan and Mike Carrozza: "With all of your knowledge, if you could go back in time, what is the most recent year that you think you could be the world's best magician?"
Got a few tiers on the patreon now, including one where I mail you new stickers and handwritten jokes every month.

https://www.patreon.com/posts/61581910?fbclid=IwAR0avdrV74rvO3WljGvvIVYTwV9gedqvSS8LrtdC6MUyTpke3azJK1UM6aw

One Dumb Question - World's Greatest Magician | Kyle Ayers and Never Seen It on Patreon Official Post from Kyle Ayers and Never Seen It

Very excited to have some haikus in this book along with all of these incredibly hilarious folks. Proceeds go to Comedy Gives Back, a charity that provides mental and physical health resources to comedians, and so much more.

Go check it out! https://www.amazon.com/Eating-Salad-Drunk-Haikus-Burnout/dp/1250774217/