Many Sparrows LLC

Join Certified Gottman Therapist Dr. Dana McNeil, PsyD on August 3, at 11am Pacific Time. In this one hour webinar, she'll help you evaluate the skills needed to manage couples in conflict, assess your own tolerance for anger and its impact in the room, and better learn how to spot problematic behaviors. We will discuss why it’s important to have a theory when working with couples, how to manage big emotions in couples and current issues such as same s*x partners and polyamorous/CNM relationship styles.

Learn more & save your seat here: https://bit.ly/3xQu5GH

This blueprint focuses on discussing past emotional injuries, often known as triggers, that occurred prior to or during the relationship. It is crucial to avoid being negative when discussing triggers. You both need to speak calmly and understand that both of your viewpoints are valid, even if you disagree. The goals are to gain comprehension of each other’s perspective and to acknowledge that regrettable incidents are inevitable in long-term relationships.

Tomorrow we will share the 3rd and final blueprint of of our managing vs. resolving conflict series.

Learn more here: https://bit.ly/3NryUQh

Looking for support in your dating journey? Join us April 15-16 for Lessons in Love – Gottman Seven Principles for Singles! In this 2-day workshop, individuals who are single or in various stages of dating will learn research-based skills for building a strong relationship. Register today: http://bit.ly/42jt36e

All relationships have conflict. It's how partners manage conflict and make repairs that matters.

When you're in high conflict, the best thing you can do is break the cycle before things get overwhelming.

On the Gottman Relationship Blog, Brittini Carter, LMHC ( Carter Therapy, LLC ) offers tips for self-soothing during high conflict: https://fal.cn/3oHFk

We Need to Stop Romanticizing Our Lack of Boundaries "It's unhealthy, exhausting and potentially detrimental to relationships and mental health."

"...personally and professionally, Gottman’s advice to 'find out your partner’s subjective reality and validate it' may be easier said than done," writes Nicole Schiener (Peace and Possibility). "Accepting influence takes hard work. Still, as we prepare to celebrate our twentieth wedding anniversary, we would definitely say it’s worth it."

Read more about accepting influence: https://bit.ly/3KyTfQc

Don’t be like Icarus, fellas!

We Need to Celebrate New Parents Who Make Mental Health a Priority "Being a new parent is hard enough, but when one must also manage their own mental health issues amid caring for the needs of their baby, it may sometimes feel impossible."

It's time to screen all kids for anxiety, physicians' task force recommends In light of the growing kids' mental health crisis, the group says it's crucial to identify kids who are struggling. The advice doesn't call for su***de screening, which many experts think is needed.

All couples will fight. Not all couples have to fight unfairly.

How to Fight Smarter: Soften Your Start-Up Softening the start-up of your arguments and complaints is crucial to resolving relationship conflicts.

I sometimes forget
that I was created for Joy.
My mind is too busy.

My Heart is too heavy
for me to remember
that I have been
called to dance
the Sacred dance of life.

I was created to smile
To Love
To be lifted up
And to lift others up.

O’ Sacred One
Untangle my feet
from all that ensnares.

Free my soul.
That we might
Dance
and that our dancing
might be contagious.

~Hafiz

How to support a friend or family member who’s struggling with their mental health Every person’s experience is different, so what’s the best way for you to show up for them? Mental health advocate Sahaj Kaur Kohli provides you with 8 dos and 8 don’ts.

Create Shared Meaning: Rituals for the Family Creating shared meaning by establishing rituals of connection is not just for couples. Traditions can bring your whole family together.

How do you handle stonewalling in your relationship?

Stonewalling sometimes occurs when couples are experiencing conflict. When one or both partners feel emotionally flooded, they may shut down and withdraw from the interaction. Flooding is often accompanied by increased heart rate, the release of stress hormones into the bloodstream, and even a fight-or-flight response.

When this happens, it's hard to find common ground and have dialogue where both parties feel heard.

Thankfully, there’s help! The antidote to stonewalling is to practice self-soothing. When you feel your body starting to build the wall, that’s the time to pause. Walk away from the conversation (with a verbalized plan to return) and give yourself a breather for at least 20 minutes. These steps can help you shift conflict conservations into productive dialogue with your loved one.

Discover more tips to self-soothe and navigate relationship conflict with help from the Gottman Relationship Coach today: https://bit.ly/3njDcvD

An affair can shake the hurt partner to their core and cause them to doubt everything they believe.

Although not all partners hurt by an affair will develop PTSD-type reactions, many will experience grief and depression. Hurt partners may become obsessed with the affair’s details, feel powerless with their emotions, and need therapeutic assistance to process their difficult emotions. According to Drs. John and Julie Gottman, if the symptoms persist, then the hurt partner may be experiencing PTSD.

After an affair, a couple may experience many confusing and conflicting emotions. It’s hard to know what to do. If you're experiencing grief or PTSD-type feelings related to an affair, a therapist trained in the Gottman Method can help.

Find a therapist in your area on the Gottman Referral Network: https://bit.ly/2YwlpsA

Please note: The National Su***de Prevention Lifeline provides 24/7, free, and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. If you or a loved one are at risk, dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Our social media posts are not meant to address situations of abuse. For immediate support, please contact thehotline.org.

"John Gottman from the Gottman Institute has done extensive research regarding relationships and what makes them happy.

One of the more interesting findings is about the magic ratio. After examining couples and how they dealt with conflict, it seemed that happy couples for who love lasts show five positive interactions for each negative one.

[...]So, let’s say there is a conflict between a couple where one criticizes the other. Then, to resolve this conflict they can try positive interactions, which for example are showing empathy, apologizing, being affectionate, showing appreciation or interest."

Words and graphic by on Instagram.

Simple Habits That Keep Romance Alive When You're a Busy Parent John Gottman, Ph.D., shares his expert advice