Phoenix Legal Solutions

In my coaching practice, this is a skillset that comes once you have YEARS of experience under your belt. In my mediation practice, getting everyone to understand the concept of meeting people where they are can be a bit more challenging. Regardless, understanding this idea that not everyone is capable of getting to where you are at this very moment is about 75% of the battle, the remaining 25% is managing to find resolutions despite all that!

Phoenix is in Denver for a minute. And will you look at this view…..

This is exactly why I acquired my CDFA last year, to enhance my ability to properly assist all my mediation and divorce coaching clients in being fully informed on all divisions that need to take place in your divorce!

Surprises: great for birthdays, not so great for life-changing events like divorce. Yet divorce can be full of them, particularly financial surprises. One survey of women in the U.S. found that 46% of participants reported their divorce brought financial shocks. These included:

💳 Being unaware of their marital debt
🏥 The cost of healthcare insurance
🧒 Assuming that child support would last longer

If you want to avoid financial surprises during divorce, you won’t want to miss this new U.S. News & World Report article.

In it, JB’s Sarah Jacobs weighs in on important steps to take and strategies to consider as you look forward. One insight she shares is this:

"Once you know you’re about to go through a divorce, it's prudent to bring financial professionals into the mix."

Why is a financial professional an important part of your divorce strategy? Read more to find out ▶️ https://bit.ly/3Kt5H6s

Although Narcissism feels so cliche these days, I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about this topic. Almost every dysfunctional marriage has at least one narcissist participating. After a decade of watching this behavior in family law, and being subject to a decade of narcissistic abuse myself, I have a theory on what causes it and why it is so abundant in today’s society. But most importantly, narcissists don’t just stop using you as their victim when you divorce/separate from them, they will keep going until they find their new permanent victim, and I hope it doesn’t become your child(ren)! I have many divorce coaching clients that have an ongoing need for my help even YEARS after the divorce is final…..because the healing AFTERwards is where the most help, guidance and support is needed! Divorce coaching is not just for people in the throes of divorce, it is for the entire time period that you are sitting in the healing stage from divorce and trying to develop a new life and identity after!

Working in the divorce world means you will have to collab with other professionals at one time or another. As a CDFA, I value the Certified Divorce space and love any opportunity I can get to make connections for referrals! I have found a CDLP (Certifed Divorce Lending Professional) that I can bounce ideas off of, and work closely with to help my clients creatively explore ALL their lending options in a divorce! Reach out if you need one, can help! .co

Let’s talk about Parental Alienation Theory…..my state, Colorado, is the first state to discredit this theory enough to discontinue the court ordered use of “reunification camps” as a solution to alienation accusations. What has been discovered is the parent accusing in the Courts is usually the actual alienator, the abuser, trying to deflect from their own abuse and project onto the safe parent. I don’t always trust or believe in family law to successfully or properly manage our lives, in fact I strongly advocate against letting judges and courts decide your life for you, but colorado law got something right finally. Having been accused of alienation myself, I understand the struggle these parents (the safe ones) have been through and am so grateful that this “theory” is finally outed as a tool used by abusers to further abuse the system to gain control again, to the detriment of the children. Mediation is one of the solutions suggested, per usual, to families dealing with this……. https://www.phoenixls.org/

After 10 years working in family law and watching many many people approach their divorce this way, only to become devastated and jaded later because of the shortcomings of the legal system………after being personally drug through the system (aka hell) myself for a solid year and a half…….I vowed to offer an alternative to couples and individuals divorcing. We are our only hero, no one is coming to save us, not even the court. Self efficacy through self determination is what I call it, and I give people a chance to help themselves resolve the marriage they no longer want.

This is one aspect and viewpoint of how an entire population feels during divorce and sometimes during marriage. Because it’s Mother’s Day, let’s put the spotlight on the injured feminine for a minute. While women can feel free from all these harms when they get a divorce, divorce is still a tragedy for everyone involved. Healing is necessary from all the experiences endured, there is just no reason to add fuel to this fire by allowing the court system to ALSO brutalize you on top of everything you’re already going through. When I spent a decade in family law, I realized that most couples Do Not need to drag the legal system into their personal lives……and that the court, the law and judges are actually not fully or properly equipped to even be handling your family division. So what begins as a private family tragedy seems to always end in an entirely traumatized travesty, once the Court process is over. Happy Mothers Day to all the Mothers who have freed themselves from trauma, but if you are a Mother still sitting in this muck, and want to pull out, make sure to research all your options out there before blindly traumatizing yourself and your family even further.

When you work with me, shadow work is inevitable. Fear is the number one reason people come to me for help. Fear of a new uncertain future, fear of scrutiny, fear of incarceration, fear of abandonment, fear of becoming destitute. Finding yourself, standing in your light, discovering hope again become our goals together as we wade through the processes this society requires to untangle your marriage and assets, and build a plan for a new life on your own. Will it be easy? Hell no. Will you be fully satisfied when it’s over? No one ever is. That’s not the goal. The goal is to eradicate the crippling fear you are living with everyday and find hope again.

What I do at Phoenix is called Self Efficacy through Self Determination. You CAN do hard things, you CAN get through your divorce, you CAN beat the narcissist, you WILL be okay eventually. Too many people do not know this and I will hold your hand, talk you through and help you remember who the eff you are during what could be considered one of the most difficult times of your life. Check out my website, on my services tab. If you are in a divorce it’s highly likely I can help you with at least one aspect of what you are going through right now.

2020 was the year I found my gift and in 2022 I finally figured out how to make it my career. That was the same year I decided to charge less than what others in this space were charging, because everyone deserves to benefit from my gift. This is called alignment, and my life is extremely full but also filled with deep satisfaction every day I get to coach or mediate people through this roller coaster called life! Give yourself the gift of finding your special skillset and then be brave enough to give it to your community.

This is a movement y’all, Im not the only one preaching this to couples right now, even the attorneys fully entrenched in the muck are seeing the light. When I walked away from family law a few years ago, I couldn’t deny what I had seen for a decade. I couldn’t deny the travesty we call “justice” in this country. And I quickly wanted to be apart of the solution….this right here makes my heart happy, that someone else in my state is joining this movement and will make a difference in Colorado divorce. Keep going , I SEE YOU and I’m cheering you on!

Many law firms will have you believe that you HAVE to have an attorney “for your protection” during a divorce. This is just not the case and here are all the reasons why you would be better off using a mediator in your colorado divorce. Colorado authorizes mediators to assist in the completion of self help forms and draft a settlement agreement and parenting plan, and the Colorado District Court website provides a very comprehensive road map to Pro Se divorce better than I’ve seen any other state! Do your self and your family a favor and interview a mediator before you interview an attorney!

Many people still don’t know that mediating your divorce is an alternative to litigation! Not only is it a whole lot cheaper and faster……Phoenix, we are also certified divorce financial analysts, meaning we are considered experts on all things “finance” specifically in relation to divorce. We offer free 30 min analysis calls, to see if you are a good fit for our process! Let us help you help yourself!

When your Atty just wants you to be happy, she makes your life better and easier by asking for a “wish list” she can buy you stuff from! 💕

Big exciting changes happening at Phoenix Legal Solutions this week.....

Take A Moment.

The legal world is in a huge influx right now.....some firms are 100% remote and utilizing technology to its max and others are still using old transcription machines and insisting on filing paper in their filing cabinets. While Covid has jump started most firms into technology, there will always be those guys that love their old ways. To be successful in this industry, you HAVE to accept this calamity and always be flexible towards that.

The fact is Paralegals will rarely be fully appreciated for all they do. But that is not why we do this job. We do this job because the client needs us in ways the attorney cannot fulfill. We do this job because it feels good to be apart of a team that helps society with aspects of their life that they can’t help themselves. It’s a fact that the vast majority of paralegals are “givers” and that’s okay because we knew what we were signing up for before we even started......

When you have been trial prepping all morning and your client knows you so well he orders your lunch without having to ask.....

Cuz fridays will always be my busiest day of the week......

It’s simple really.....