Illinois Central Gulf Railroad Company

Just a reminder, ICG is a LGBTQ+ friendly company

Happy pride month friends ❤️🏳️‍🌈

We will be hosting the quarterly shareholders meeting on Monday, April 5th, 2021 at Cellar Gentlemen’s club in Joliet, IL

We will be discussing the following topics:

legalization of ma*****na in the state of Illinois, and our approach to usage on the job

Safe handling and transport of ma*****na within the state

And (REDACTED) State lines.

Attendees should be advised to not come in close contact with the entertainers working at the Cellar, as the safe handling of Methamphetamine, and the delivery of child support transcripts via Mail Train are still pending discussion at this time

We hope to see you all there!

-Mechanical Department Foreman Matt

Dear Chicago Rock Island & Pacific Railroad Company Thanks for giving us keys marked for us with your switch key bit 😘

Admin #2 just got a C&NW switch key from an unknown source. This should be fun.

We've been invaded by BNSF Railway.

SOS.

(Official Application Attached)

Its officially December, let's hope you got your damn shovels, cause were in it for 2 1/2 months of this bu****it!

ICG is now hiring seasonal snow shovelers for the months of December, January, and February! Starting pay is $5 an hour with no benefits. Perfect for felons, children under 16, and that one family member that is hopelessly addicted to drugs and cant hold regular employment.

We would get the conductors to do it, but last time that resulted in the disappearance of 3 of them, lost in a blizzard somewhere near Mendota 🤷‍♂️

Apply today!

Great... Now we got these lunatics following us. I think we're just gonna scrap all of our Dash 9s rather than rebuild them at Paducah.

This week only: save up to 25% on all round trip passenger fares this week when you apply for a loan with the Illinois Central Credit Union!

(ICCU is not responsible for hiked interest rates of 40% or more when you apply, s**t-for-brains)

Ay King Von you know how you said "just got some top from this stripper bitch, she from Kankakee"?

We just got trackable rights into Kankakee, and all they gave us was STDs and a crack rock, what gives?

So, I guess this is a test post since it won't let L&N's admin or I reply to comments. Check in time boys. Southern Railway System Louisville and Nashville Railroad Company

To the as***le who keeps toning up our single dispatcher with their s**tty Baofeng radio, you just caused a derailment across a Chicago Rock Island & Pacific Railroad Company diamond and they're trying to get us to foot the bill. You better watch out, bucko

Whoever's the resident du***ss that stole the horn off our company clown car (we're looking at you Aiden Nies) we will find you, we cant go to the Chicago Gay Pride Parade without it!

Hey Aiden Nies, you got anymore of those stolen locomotive parts for sale? Asking for a friend

L Locomotivepartsllc

We knew our $4m government loan was gonna come back to bite us in the ass, but this is just excessive

Mf crashed through the window screaming "AYO IK YALL GOT THAT INTEREST PAYMENT"

All local shipments have an additional $0.20 this month
Out of state fares have an additional $0.50 this month
(To pay interest and for a new fu***ng windshield)

We couldn't budget in any newer service vehicles, so we have been forced to resort to FB Markeplace

The good news: we now pick up teenage girls with daddy issues and ni****ne addictions no problem!

Update on the board meeting on 02/31/2021: We are currently banned from the Silver Slipper Saloon & Gentlemen's Club after an executive was involved in an alcohol/pool cue related incident (thanks Will 🙄), so we will be switching the venue to the Lamp Liter Club in Ottawa, IL, the meeting will run from 6PM till 10PM, food will be provided by whatever the crackheads dig out of the dumpster, and entertainment will be provided by only the IVs saggiest, pregnant-est women!

25% off all tariffs this week!

The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night

Hey Chicago Rock Island & Pacific Railroad Company, you feeling ok? I looked down the interchange and saw this

I've been on a 2 day long coke bender and I'm currently suffering from the after effects, sorry for the lack of content you greasy di*****ds

-brakenan matt

So we got a damn GEVO. Maybe our crews will quit complaining about not having AC or a working toilet. Fu**in' crybabies.

We left one of out service trucks in Alabama while it was being serviced, and now its TOOTED TF UP CUHHH 😬❄

WE NEED BIG POWER BECAUSE ALL WE PULL IS P***Y

SO WE BOUGHT THESE BIG BI***ES

50% OFF ALL FARES THIS WEEK ONLY

INTRODUCING: The ICG Locomotive Recycling Program!

Our patented recycling technology uses 100% natural products to completely demolish a perfectly functioning locomotive withing 30-40 Decades!

Our #1 motto is "it came from the ground, its returning to the ground"

A board meeting/open house will be taking place that will discuss this in greater detail on Feb 30th 2021, at the Silver Slipper Saloon & Gentlemen's Club in Ottawa, IL

We used the rest of our government loan to pay off the EPA and we are currently 3 billion in debt, h e l p

We left a pair of cab cars in the town of Mendota for FIVE GODDAMN MINUTES and the tweakers STOLE THE GLASS.

WHAT KIND OF CRACK PIPES ARE YOU MAKING THAT REQURE FRA TYPE 2 GLASS?

Whoever has information about this crime can report it to 1-800-PLS-SMFD

-Brakeman Matt

A reminder to all Passengers, jumping out of the top of the bi-level cars is not enough of a fall to kill you.

We've tried, believe me.

-brakeman Matt

Don't think for a minute that we don't see you following our page, CRI&P.

Send one more goddamn car up the interchange at La Salle and i swear to god I'm gonna take what's left of your trackage and sell it to CSX. DO NOT TRY ME.

To whoever is jacking off in the switch tower in Chicago, atleast fu***ng clean up after yourself, your children got the lever stuck and sent 720 into the back of 416 🤦‍♂️

We out in the cold and snow cause we just built different 😈❄😬 you just cant handle our drip 😈😈😈

One of our brakemen, Matt, has lost his switch keys. It would be much appreciated if someone would return them. According to him, the keys are attached to a full sized blow up doll. Thanks,
-Homewood Tower

Introducing the new ICG Locomotive Buyback/Rebuild Program!

Do you have a perfectly functioning and well maintained locomotive?

Do you want to improve those locomotives with updated emissions equipment, added creature comforts, and improved safety?

Well kiss all that s**t goodbye!

We Add:
- FU***NG FROG LIGHTS
-SOME BU****IT FILTERS OVER THE HOOD
-MARKER LIGHTS REUSED FROM OTHER BU****IT
-AND A SICK FU**IN' DINGER

We Remove:
-DYNAMIC BRAKES, BECAUSE WHO NEEDS THAT S**T
THAT'S IT, WE DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE, IF YOU EXPECTED MORE F**K OFF

Plans starting as low as a ha***ob in the Portillo's Bathroom off of Ogden Ave in Naperville

ORDER YOURS TODAY!

Penn Central Transportation Company we're coming for you big guy 🤤