LUMA-Luxury Matchmaking, Chicago

Yesterday, I read an article about how many women are opting out of dating and embracing celibacy.

My beliefs don't align with most of the claims made in the article, but the writers got one thing spot on:

Dating apps have ruined dating. 🚩

Both men and women are becoming increasingly frustrated with the algorithms and disillusioned with the true nature of online dating. As I've said before, dating apps gamify love in an unproductive and unfeeling way.

However, I know that some folks are hesitant to delete their dating profiles because they believe online dating is the only option for a chance at love in our modern world.

That just isn't true. Although much has changed about how people form and nurture connections in the past 20 years, dating apps are far from the only way to find dates.

Ultimately, connecting with potential partners the old-fashioned way - meeting them organically through real-life connections - is still the most successful way to start a relationship.

If you are more comfortable getting to know someone virtually before meeting in person, using social media to connect with other singles can be productive and fulfilling.

You can use most social sites to communicate with people with similar interests and get to know them through their profiles and aesthetics.

Of course, it's imperative to keep in mind how to respectfully initiate conversations via direct message, but this approach has proven to be successful.

If you're on the fence about dating apps, I suggest you consider the data and anecdotal evidence around their efficacy. However, if virtual dating is working for you, kudos and stick with it!

Did you meet your current or past partner somewhere out of the ordinary? Share your story with me in the comments! ❤️

Are you tired of being ghosted by men for no apparent reason?

Do you often find yourself stuck in situationships that lack any form of commitment and security, only for the guy to break up with you anyway?

As an expert Matchmaker, I know so many women can relate to being rejected or sidelined during early to mid stages of courtship. 💔

If you’re dedicated to securing a long-term relationship, it’s time be honest for a minute:

Relationships get stale without a continual effort to increase intimacy. 💑

Yes, even fairly new relationships can tire quickly, because men are goal-oriented and competitive by nature.

Without solidifying a strong bond with your partner through intimacy, men tend to disvalue the relationship and move on to the next challenge to conquer.

I’ve discovered a few simple techniques to naturally increase intimacy in any relationship - from puppy love to lengthy marriages.

If you’re ready to substantiate the bond between you and your love and make him commit, check out my blog: https://lumasearch.com/blog/tips-to-increase-intimacy-in-your-relationship

Mastering the art of being vulnerable and intimate with your partner will set the foundation for your entire relationship. ❤️

Without forming a deep, lasting connection, it’s all too easy for men to feel unfulfilled.

Nearly 70% of relationships fail to survive their first year. 💔

We undoubtedly recognize that not all relationships deserve a happy ending, but that statistic is certainly sobering.

Romantic partnerships are one of the greatest sources of joy and fulfillment when they’re nurtured and cherished.

But when a relationship goes south, it can be deeply painful to acknowledge that the spark has faded.

Oftentimes, we ignore the signs of a failing relationship until resentment and contempt make it impossible to ignore.

Instead of allowing these negative emotions to fester and grow, focus on accepting when it’s time to call it quits.

Relationships are something we invest time, effort, and emotions into.

Lingering in an unhealthy relationship is extremely detrimental to your wellbeing, especially if cheating, addiction or abuse is involved.

It’s challenging to evaluate the longevity of your relationship, but doing so will allow you to grow out of unhealthy habits and toxic people, making room for who you’re meant to be with.

If you want to evaluate your own relationship, check out my blog here to see if it’s time to move on: https://lumasearch.com/blog/signs-a-relationship-is-over-and-its-time-to-move-on/

When you find the right person, you’ll be glad you left a partner who wasn’t ever going to be what you wanted. 🫶

Nearly 30% of online daters will experience being catfished. 🛑

While online dating can be rewarding, with 10% of matches leading to marriages, dating apps can be exceedingly difficult to navigate.

For anyone new to online dating, it can be time consuming, confusing, and just plain scary.

Until you meet your match in real life, it’s almost impossible to tell if they’re even a real person.

Very few online dating platforms require background checks for their members, so it’s your decision whether it’s safe to meet someone in person.

Aside from keeping safe online, it’s important to consider what steps you can take to make your profile stand out from the crowd.

On average, women receive 5 matches per day. 👩‍❤️‍👨

For tips on how to strategically craft your dating profile to increase matches, facilitate conversations, and encourage long-term relationships, check out our blog here:

https://lumasearch.com/blog/the-dos-and-donts-of-online-dating/

Have other tips for online dating? Share them below! ❤️

Over 70% of Americans still believe that in heterosexual relationships, the man should pay for the first date. 💵

To the younger generations, that might seem pretty old-fashioned.

It’s definitely not a new concept!

I’ve heard it argued that whoever asks for the date should be expected to pay, or that women should take pride in paying for first dates.

Well, I guess I’m old-fashioned.

I still believe that men should offer to pay for their lady. 💗

I don’t mean that a man is expected to always give and never receive, or that he isn’t deserving of special treatment.

When a man offers to pay on the first date, it signals that he’s a gentleman looking for long-term love.

However, I think ladies should also offer to pay on the first date as a show of their generosity and true intentions.

Finances are tricky to navigate in relationships, and when both partners sincerely offer to pay, it builds trust and respect.

Things get even trickier if you aren’t having a good time on your first outing with a new love interest.

I firmly suggest that if you have no intention of seeing the person again, you should push to at least split the bill.

No matter how you choose to approach the bill on first dates, it’s crucial to come at it from a place of fairness, kindness, and respect.

No one wants to feel like they’ve been taken advantage of, and whether you see your date as a potential life partner or not, remember the Golden Rule. 🌟

Who do you think should pay on the first date? Let me know in the comments!

Just because you spend time with your partner doesn’t mean it’s quality time.

That’s tough to hear, I know.

But if we dig deep, most of us are already aware that running errands and doing yard work aren’t necessarily the most intimate ways to strengthen the bond with your significant other.

There has to be more than the mundane, typical tasks of adulthood to keep the spark in a relationship.

And really, there’s no need to hire a sitter or break the bank to make meaningful memories together!

Organizing an at-home date night is a great way to nurture your connection with your partner without having to make so many pre-planned (and often expensive) arrangements.

I could probably write an essay on this, but here’s my shortlist of at-home date night ideas:

❤️ A candlelit dinner is a perfect way to create a warm and cozy ambiance that instantly sets the mood for a comfortable conversation. The flickering flames have a way of setting an intimate and romantic atmosphere.

❤️ Couples trivia games can deepen your understanding of each other and your relationship. Games like “We’re Not Really Strangers” provide a comfortable way to dive into deep topics.

❤️ Challenging your partner to a cook-off is deliciously fun! You can choose a specific meal or component to cook, such as pickles, and challenge them to create a unique dish or three-course meal in each stage.

❤️Hold a gaming tournament if you and your love are into video games. This is the perfect at-home dating idea when you’re a gamer. My husband and I do this regularly. It’s great to play something tried and true or something new to both of you.

If you want more inspiration for at-home date night ideas, you can check out a blog post I wrote: https://lumasearch.com/blog/date-night-at-home/

What are your favorite ways to stay in and bond with your partner? Let me know in the comments!

🚩Nearly 40% of unmarried partners will end up cheating. 🚩

I know, that statistic seems bleak. The average drops to 25% in married couples, which is less alarming, but doesn’t change the fact that in order to find our spouse, we have to put ourselves out there in the dating game.

It can be very difficult to tell when someone is cheating. Really, it depends on how good the partner is at hiding it. I’ve heard first-hand from people who were cheated on for 10 years before discovering the truth.

I know a lot of us try to give others the benefit of doubt. I don’t think anyone should abandon compassion and understanding, but it serves us all to be more diligent in recognizing tale-tell signs that someone is stepping out of the relationship.

Here’s my short list of red flags to watch out for if you suspect your partner is cheating:

Secretive Phone Use: Are they always guarding their phone or laptop? Do they suddenly get defensive or anxious when you're around while they're on their devices? It could be a sign that they're hiding something, like messages or emails from someone else.

Becoming More Distant: Have you noticed a shift in your partner's behavior? If they're emotionally withdrawing from the relationship without a valid explanation, it's worth addressing.

Unexplained Expenses: Money matters can reveal a lot. If you start noticing unexplained charges on credit card statements or cash withdrawals that don't add up, it's essential to have a conversation about it.

Altered Schedule: Has their routine changed unexpectedly? While it's normal to have a busy schedule, drastic changes without a reasonable explanation could be a bad sign.

Now, these signs don't necessarily mean your partner is cheating, but they're worth paying attention to. If you're feeling uneasy, it's crucial to have an open conversation with your partner. Trust your instincts, and don't ignore any gut feelings. 💎

When I’ve asked my male clients what they think women want in a partner, they typically give me a detailed explanation of a conventionally attractive man’s features.

Thankfully, that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

When I ask women to describe what they think are the sexiest qualities in men, rarely do they describe physical attributes.

With serious, successful singles, substance reigns supreme. Women don’t just want a dashingly handsome man who lacks character. Real women want real men.

If it’s not just good looks, what do women find irresistibly sexy?

Here’s my shortlist of common qualities that women find undeniably attractive:

🌟Confidence: There's something incredibly magnetic about someone who knows their worth and walks with pride. Confidence isn't about being flawless; it's about embracing imperfections and owning them with grace.

😄Sense of Humor: Laughter truly is the best medicine, and a great sense of humor can light up any room. Women love someone who can make them smile, someone with whom they can share jokes and banter effortlessly.

🧘Mindfulness: Being self-aware shows maturity and authenticity. It's attractive when someone knows themselves well, understands their strengths and weaknesses, and is constantly working on self-improvement.

🌹Chivalry: While modern times have redefined traditional roles, acts of chivalry still hold a special place in most women's hearts. Opening doors, offering a jacket when it's cold, or simply being courteous - these gestures stand the test of time.

🩷Kindness: Kindness is a language that everyone understands. It's about showing empathy, compassion, and genuine concern for others. Women are drawn to those who treat everyone with dignity and respect.

🧠Intelligence: Smart is the new sexy! Women appreciate intellect and someone who can engage them in stimulating conversations.

What other qualities do you think women find irresistible? Share your thoughts below! 👇❤️

I just read this story about Katharine Hepburn...
❤️It's better to give than receive is a statement I truly believe in & probably what led me into a profession of helping people find love.
🫶🏼
Also, this mindset is critical when on a first date. Too often I see people show up on a first date, expecting something instead of giving their date a great experience.
🥰
In Katharine Hepburn’s own words…
“Once when I was a teenager, my father & I were standing in line to buy tickets for the circus.
There was a family w/ 8 kids, all probably under the age of 12, in front of us. You could tell they didn't have a lot of money by the way they dressed, but their clothes were neat & clean.
The children were well-behaved, standing two-by-two behind their parents, holding hands. They were excited about all they would see and you could sense they had never been to the circus before.
The ticket lady asked the man how many tickets he wanted, & then stated the price.
The man's wife let go of his hand, her head dropped, & the man's lip began to quiver.
The man didn't have enough money. How was he supposed to tell his 8 kids that he didn't have enough money to take them to the circus?
Seeing what was going on, my dad reached into his pocket, pulled out a $20 bill, & then dropped it on the ground. (We were not wealthy in any sense of the word!) My father bent down, picked up the $20 bill, tapped the man on the shoulder & said, "Excuse me, sir, this fell out of your pocket."
The man understood what was going on.
He looked straight into my dad's eyes, took my dad's hand in both of his, squeezed tightly onto the $20 bill, & with his lip quivering & a tear streaming down his cheek, he replied; "Thank you, thank you, sir. This means a lot to me & my family."
My father & I went back to our car & drove home. The $20 that my dad gave away is what we would buy our tickets with. That day I learned the value of giving. The Giver is bigger than the Receiver.”
~ Katharine Hepburn

By embracing an active approach to dating, prioritizing meaningful interactions over superficial checkboxes, and communicating openly with your dates, you can break free from the single status and welcome meaningful relationships into your life.

Remember, it's about embracing the journey and connecting with the person in front of you.

Are you tired of being single but can't seem to figure out why you're still flying solo? You're not alone. Many singles find themselves in the same boat, wondering what's keeping them from finding love.

Fortunately, understanding the underlying reasons can help you break free from single status and open yourself up to meaningful connections!

How to navigate those first date chats like a pro 👉

Excited to hear April share her insights on finding luxury love in the latest episode of "Gurus and Game Changers" podcast!

Her expertise is sure to unlock secrets we all need to know to find luxury love!

Check it out!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVY4ajRDrjo

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Marketing or "selling" yourself isn't something that we are taught usually. 🤔 This is why I see the most genuine, successful, and intelligent men who are not the best at meeting women.

They're not slick salesmen 👔 (who are usually not the best in relationships). Often times these men are in leadership roles and are "HR aware". They don't want to creep women out and are especially sensitive since the Me Too movement so they're going to hesitate making that first move.