Elevated Life Counseling

Did you know that a constant sense of urgency and rushing can be a response to trauma?

Traumatic events often require us to act quickly without much thought for the long term. These trauma responses can limit our ability to slow down and be mindful of the big picture.

So what can you do? When you notice yourself feeling like you need to figure everything out at once, pause and pay attention to your breathing. Validate the part of you that feels threatened.

Focusing on having the right morning routine and starting the day off right with mental health and wellness as priorities should be an essential part of our lives. So, today, try to remember: YOU GOT THIS!

Being cheated on is hardly ever simple. While infidelity might not be the funnest topic to address with your partner, it’s important to be on the same page about what cheating means to each of you. These open and honest topics of conversation can help you voice your concerns in a constructive manner vs a destructive one. Here are a few questions to help lead a productive conversation around cheating with your partner:

• What do you consider cheating?
• How can we continue to build trust and transparency?
• What other things would betray your trust?
• Outside of our relationship, what would you consider flirting?
• Have you ever cheated on your partner?
• Have you ever been cheated on?

When we feel down, our bodies may be trying to find a source of relief to release bottled up emotions. It's okay to cry! Crying actually has numerous benefits for your overall mental health.

It's a healthy way to express emotion and heal - so don’t hold back those tears 🥹

Repressed emotions are emotions that we unconsciously avoid. These are different from suppressed emotions - the feelings that we actively and consciously push aside because they overwhelm us. When we repress our emotions, they don’t get a chance to be processed, but, they can still affect our behavior.

Sure, bad days aren’t fun, but they can and will most likely happen from time to time. Here are a few ways to prepare yourself to better cope with negative emotions and thoughts:
✨Focus on the positive
✨Change negative self-talk into positive self-talk
✨Try to be present
✨Surround yourself with positive people
✨Be thankful!

When you are able to find the good in the negative, it can make a huge difference in your well-being!

There are many traits of a healthy, family dynamic that contribute to a family's well-being. And some of these can take practice if the emotional and relational skills were not taught to you as a child. Every family is different and it's important to understand that you can still be a strong family unit and have problems at the same time!

Here are a few characteristics of healthy families:
🔹Honest communication
🔹Acceptance of each other
🔹Strong coping skills
🔹Spending time with each other
🔹Having love and compassion

Lying and gaslighting. Both signs of narcissistic abuse. Oftentimes, the narcissistic partner will compose a story about being victimized or mistreated in their last relationship to elicit empathy and caring. When you try to discuss the abuse with your partner, they usually claim to forget their abusive behaviors or will tell you that what you experienced never happened (ie, gaslighting). This can leave you doubting your own perceptions and feelings.

It can take time to realize that something might be “off” in your relationship - and that’s okay. The emotional and psychological effects that stem from narcissistic abuse can lead to the development of PTSD among survivors of this type of trauma.

Some symptoms of PTSD from narcissistic abuse might include:
🔹Inability to feel positive emotions
🔹Reliving the trauma through nightmares, terrors or flashbacks
🔹Feeling the need to avoid anything that reminds you of the trauma
🔹Inability to relax and feel safe
🔹Trouble with sleeping

The ELC team is trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy. This is recognized as one of the best approaches for trauma therapy. It uses eye movement to help change distorted beliefs we hold on to as well as allows us to think about painful events with less emotionality.

There’s nothing wrong with a relationship that might need a little boost - in the bedroom. Many couples that have been together for a long time find it difficult to have a fulfilling s*x life that is just as good as it was at the beginning of the relationship.

Low-s*xual desire in a long-term relationship is a common reason many individuals (and couples) seek out professional help from s*x therapists like myself and the team at ELC. It’s important to understand that just because you might have a low desire, it does not mean that there is anything wrong with you! You can still love your partner and still be part of a fulfilling relationship where you and your partner crave each other s*xually. Our founder and s*x therapist, Erinn Williams LCPC, discussed the topic in her blog: When the Desire Wanes.

When the Desire Wanes — ELEVATED life counseling As a s*x therapist, I find myself reminding my clients that relationships need attention to often remain fun and fulfilling. Both partners need to be invested in rekindling the relationship. This can be awkward and inconsistent for many couples and that’s why it’s okay to ask for help from a tra...

It can be hard to feel hopeful when things are frightening or uncertain. But, having hope for the future can help build our resilience to get through the tough times and also recover from setbacks. If you are struggling to find hope, you are not alone! Keep trying and remember that leaving room for the unknown is a good thing.

Meltdowns. Bursting into 😭, snapping at others or running away from stressful situations. Many of us have them when we become overly-stressed and overstimulated. When we learn to manage the stressors in our lives that can lead us to a meltdown, it can help us press pause in order to take the necessary steps to calm down before we respond to the situation at hand.

Try exploring grounding techniques such as breathing exercises, tapping your fingertips together and sending awareness to your feet the next time you start to feel the signs of being overwhelmed.

Just because painful s*x is common, doesn’t mean that you have to accept or settle for it. Experiencing pain during s*x is a common problem that can affect anyone - and it’s more prevalent than you might think. Nearly 75% of women will experience pain during s*x at some point in their lives. Our founder and s*x therapist, Erinn Williams LCPC, tackled the topic in her most recent blog: Ignoring S*xual Discomfort: There is Hope.

Ignoring S*xual Discomfort: There Is Hope — ELEVATED life counseling Just because painful s*x is common, doesn’t mean that you have to accept or settle for it. Experiencing pain during s*x is a common problem that can affect anyone - and it’s more prevalent than you might think. Nearly 75% of women will experience pain during s*x at some point according to the Am...

Did you know that over-explaining and oversharing can be a response to trauma? When we share an overly personal story that involves a traumatic experience that we’ve endured, it’s called trauma dumping. Trauma dumping can become a way for someone to avoid processing a painful life experience and it can actually be harmful to both the listener and the (over)sharer. Even if you’ve processed or accepted the traumatic experience, it might still be too much for the listener to absorb.

Trauma dumping can be emotionally draining for everyone involved and present itself in the form of unsolicited stories that might include shocking information, one-sided conversations or simply communicating the pain/trauma experience to non-appropriate outlets.

Our desire to be known and heard can sometimes prompt us to share vulnerably because vulnerability can often connect and deepen human experiences and relationships. Sometimes, the line between vulnerability and oversharing can be blurred with trauma, too. Try to remember that sharing a traumatic or upsetting experience with your therapist is ALWAYS a safe space.

Many couples face conflict and find comfort and guidance from a licensed therapist. In addition to couples therapy, you can also engage in many self-improvement techniques and exercises, too!

🎶 Connect through music. Make each other a playlist and include songs that make you think of your partner and the memorable experiences that you have shared.

💃 Take a dance lesson. Moving together with your partner will help you work as a team.

Sometimes, when we feel stressed, angry or hurt, we can react impulsively. This means, our emotions and defenses are driving our behaviors and our perception of the current situation might be altered. This overreaction is called emotional reactivity.

When this happens, try slowing down by putting your own reactions and emotions aside to truly hear what the other person is saying. Try to find calm and practice mindfulness when you are actively listening vs overreacting.

We all have them: intrusive thoughts. Random thoughts with no connection to what you are doing. Many people can brush them off, but for some, they are harder to ignore. Intrusive thoughts can be about relationships, protection of someone close to you, fear of death, thoughts of doing something violent and more.

The key to managing intrusive thoughts is to learn that they are just that - THOUGHTS! If a thought starts with a "what if", it’s most likely an intrusive thought. That means that the thought isn’t coming from you and doesn’t reflect your character. Try to let intrusive thoughts pass by without giving them much attention.

Becoming aware of the different feelings and sensations your body experiences can heighten intimacy. Try to explore each of your 5 senses separately to see what sensations interest you most and why.

👁: write down your favorite body parts and why. Then take a look in front of the mirror
👂: ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) is that tingly sensation you experience from certain sounds - including sensual music, beats or melodies that can help relax your mind and body
👃: try aromatherapy. Certain scents can bring back erotic memories and even make you more at ease
👅: try licking or eating something that you find erotic!
🫴: this can be as simple as touching your arm. Touch different parts of your body and see how it makes you feel

Have fun experimenting and see how your 5 senses can heighten intimacy (by yourself or with a partner)!

Fun fact: foods that are good for your body are also good for your mind! A healthy, well-balanced diet can help us think clearer, feel more alert and improve our mood.

Try paying attention to how you feel when you eat and what you eat. Food journals are a great way to gain insight into your eating patterns!

What are your favorite brain-boosting food and drinks?

What does it mean to “be present” and why does it matter? Being present means being fully and completely in the moment. Not thinking about other things and focusing on the here and the now.

There’s also the experience of feeling your partner’s presence. When you are truly with each other. Being present in your relationship can also increase attraction and has the power to create intimacy, too!

This weekend, try to be more present not only with yourself, but with your partner as well.

Pets can serve a bigger purpose beyond those slobbery kisses and companionship. They can also contribute to your happiness! Studies show that dogs can reduce anxiety, stress, and depression; not to mention encourage exercise and improve overall health! Say 👋 to the 🐶 of ELC!

Today is National Love is Kind Day - a day to celebrate those who have escaped domestic violence or domestic abuse. This day encourages us to become aware of how we are treating people, how they are treating us and how we can become supported and empowered to lead a life that we all deserve. Here are a few ways to participate:
💜Celebrate independence for all victims that have gotten out of domestic violence and domestic abuse situations
💜Recognize your right to be treated with kindness
💜Realize that kindness can lead to healthier and safer relationships
💜Give a voice for hope and support others who might still be silently suffering
💜Spread messages of kindness

People do love you - even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

✨Your coworker who loves seeing you at company outings
✨The Uber driver you made small talk with
✨The cashier you asked how their day was
✨The little kid you smiled at
✨The man you let have your bus seat
✨Your neighbor you always wave to across the street
✨Your childhood classmates who remember you happily

You are worthy of love!

Raise your hand if you feel like you’re on autopilot 🤚 Try to slow down, pump the brakes and notice the things that you’ve been neglecting. When we press pause, we can start creating the space we need to start paying attention.

S*x can be pleasurable experience for many of us - but the benefits of a healthy s*x life can extend beyond the bedroom, too! S*x can also help:
🙌 Boost your libido
🙌 Reduce pain (thanks to or***ms)
🙌 Improve sleep
🙌 Ease stress
🙌 Improve your immune system

Life can be difficult. Don’t let yourself feel like you’re the only one on the island! There are people who will fight for and with you during the ups and downs you might be experiencing. A mental health therapist is there to help you create a healthier, happier and more productive life!

Roughly 1 in 5 adults will experience a diagnosable mental health condition during their lifetime and many never seek help or treatment because of the stigma surrounding mental health. Don’t be afraid to educate yourself, start a conversation and ask for help when you need it

Did you know that African Americans are 20% more likely than non-African Americans to experience depression, ADHD, PTSD and su***de attempts? Or that Asian Americans use mental health services 1/3 as often as whites and Latinx Americans 1/2 as often? WOW.

July is BIPOC Mental Health Month.

It gives us the opportunity to use this time as a catalyst to start having intersectional discussions and share resources about the lack of public awareness of BIPOC mental health issues - in addition to improving access to mental health treatment and services for these diverse communities and populations.

Check out our recent blog from our founder and psychotherapist Erinn Williams LCPC ⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️

BIPOC MENTAL HEALTH MONTH: REFLECTION AND EVOLUTION — ELEVATED life counseling Did you know that African Americans are 20% more likely than non-African Americans to experience depression, ADHD, PTSD and su***de attempts? Or that Asian Americans use mental health services 1/3 as often as whites and Latinx Americans 1/2 as often? July is BIPOC Mental Health Month. It gives us th

Depression symptoms aren’t always crystal clear. You don’t have to be crying or stuck in bed to be depressed. In fact, many people are still able to be productive and function in their day-to-day lives.

Be sure to check in on your loved ones, because appearance doesn’t always = reality.