Tubers Donuts

On March 22 1991 the theatrical masterpiece Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze graced the silver screen. Each year we celebrate this crowning achievement of cinematic gold by making these donuts. One part tribute to this spellbinding film & one part celebration for one of my mom’s classicly polarizing Jello Fridge “Salads” which is just as delicious as this movie.

Raphberry Pretzel Surprise: Raspberry Glaze, Vanilla Cream Cheese, Pretzel Crumble Crunch Crunch

On sale now🧪

Last up in the February Birthday Cake Donut Series: The Too Many Sprinkles Donut. We hired a team of scientists to tell us the exact right amount of sprinkles to put each donut for optimal bite ratio…..then we added a handful more.

Pineapple Upside Up Cake Donut. Toasty Pineapple, Caramely Caramel Sauce, Valiant Cherry on top. Birthday Cake Month still kicking all the ass, taking all the names, and chewing all the bubble gum!

Spotlight Dance! Carrot Cake Donut: Carrot Juice Glaze, Cinnamon Cream Cheese Center, 3 Sisters Toasted Pecan Topper. Birthday Month Cake Theme still live, in full effect, & totally super hella boss.

We Back! Espresso Donuts & the rest of the Tubeaneers are all here today ready to swashbuckle 🤺

Pour yourself a nice cup of donut

It’s National Burst Pipe Day! And we are celebrating in style with an extra juicy one. Special thanks to all the pipe water that was able to turn themselves into ice then right back to water. They were a blast!

Chocolate Covered Banana Donut: Chocolate Ganache Penthouse, Banana Pudding 1st Floor, Potato Donut Garden Apartment. Strong foundation, lots of updates, good bones……..

but just to be clear these donuts are boneless.

Showing Today at & Donut Reality Agency!

The December Tubers Lineup is a damn holiday dream boat!

Cinnamon Turtle: like it’s fresh out of your grandma’s purse.

Merry Swissmiss: basically a cup of space Hot Cocoa.

Peppermint Bark: all bark and no bite….but then again the peppermint has some bite. So I guess equal parts bark and bite.

Better call your doctor, because I think your prescription for the Lime in the Coconut Donut is ready. Walk in appointments & deliveries are all live right now here at / Donut Medical Center
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Tomorrow Noon is gonna be a shindig! Donuts! Fluft Crust Pizza featuring Camchi & BBQ slathered Braised Bacon! Vegan Pizza! Cheeeeeeese Blasters! And of course a Pizza dedicated to the greatest bar on earth !!!!!

All going down: Sunday 9/17
Noon-3pm (or sold out)

Only at the decade old intergalactic house of chicken

Open today! Donuts are chocked full of potato & 3 day weekend vibes. But you can also request the 3 day weekend vibes on the side at no additional cost, if that’s your cup tea. However, we do charge for cups of tea.

SpookTacular News! We are now open on Wednesdays! Feast on potato donuts at every day of the week 8am-8pm except Tuesdays. Tuesdays we’re closed. Tuesdays we stay at home, eat pizza rolls, and play Nintendo 64. Not all heroes wear capes……..but we do wear capes sometimes……if it’s a little bit chilly outside, but you don’t need like a full jacket.

You get it

RazBasil Donut! Local Jazzy Razzies cloaked in a Basil Glaze dribble. Get em now at our booming donut metropolis inside the mega sandwich palace of

BLuLuberry Donut. Blueberry Glaze w/ a Suggie-Buttery-Blueby Topper. Straight from the lab of our resident Donut Doctor LuLu❣️ She is awesome, her donut is awesome, getting your jaws in this is Jawesome. Make your day really boss by eating it while watching late 90s James Vanderbeek in Jaweson’s Creek

Closed today. Fired up some to celebrate Smith & Goldblum’s 1996 crowning achievement. Happy ID4!

He now, you’re an all star, get your donut game, go play…….at 8am on Saturdays & Sundays cuz we open up early on the weekends now! Smash one with your Mouth with the rest of the early bird daywalkers

You bet your bippy* Moms love donuts!

* bippy was used in place of ass in an attempt to not be crude on their special day. Unfortunately, due to said ass explanations crudeability ratings on this post are off the charts. Lo siento las madres.

Happy Ass Mother’s Day❣️

Lemon Pepper Poppyseed Donut it back! Similar to the traditional mullet, lemons and poppyseeds are all business in the front, but the pink peppercorn flakes in the back drive a Firebird, listen to Whitesnake, & lets you know they like to party.

🍀Tis St Patrick’s Day! 🚫🐍
We got Fries in Your Shamrock Donuts & Porkstrami Reubens w/ Sauerkraut poppin for your classic balanced breakfast.

Oh, the second pic was gonna be this super badass Fried Chicken Rueben Melt running all week at with PowerKraut, but I forgot to take a picture of it so here’s a tiny crockpot that holds the cheesy onions for that Sammie

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Chocolate Banana Donut is live! Chocolate Ganache outtards, Banana Pudding innards, Potato Donut betweenards. We have been tirelessly testing it out here in our fancy new state of the art test kitchen. So tirelessly that we actually put it on the menu last Thursday & just got around to announcing now.

Last week of the RazBiscus Donut. Get ‘em while they’re…….room temperature?

Open at 8am Mondays, Thursdays, Fridays now! You can now eat donuts at what some have deemed to be a socially acceptable time to eat donuts. You can also eat a Golden Girls breakfast sandwich or a loose meat burger at 8 AM here, so chew on that socially acceptable food enforcement patrol team squadron unit!

hot flowing!
frostily flowing!

The RazBiscus Donut. Secret Freezer Stash of raspberries lovingly embrace with Hibiscus 🫶

On sale now at the shanty of love

Fluft Crust Pizzas sold out!

Thundering Thank You Section:
Omega thanks to for having us last night. & you are, & will always be the bestest❣️

Super thanks to for the early bird special showing so they could snag the first pies, and for running pizzas because they don’t know how to “not work”

Fantabulous thanks to for chopping it up so hard we might legally own a chop shop now. Cheapest Cadillac converters in the Cook County!

Fluft Crust will rise again someday at sometime somewhere semi soonish, so set your calendar 📅

You thought all we know how to do is flop dough in a fryer huh?……..well you’re correct. So to celebrate our single skill we are gonna be frying up some of our Fluft Crust Pizzas at tomorrow night starting at 7pm til sold out or utterly burnt.

Come thru, drink all the drinks, pizza some pizzas!

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