Cristi Leyva Mindset Coach

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."
- Epicurus

The best thing we can do for those we love is heal. Maybe it will be enough maybe it won’t. Either way, in the end we heal and that’s what matters most. As healing occurs, maybe just maybe you’ll stay up at night thinking how to be better for you

Mindset Tip: Practice self-validation. I know, this isn’t always easy to do. I struggle with this and have to be very mindful of it. I am exceptional at giving it to others.Yet, when it comes to me, I can be so hard on myself and my own personal standards way too high and struggle with feeling arrogant and undeserving when I do. Understand that’s just old wounds talking. By practicing self validation, this skill will help us to not rely on external validation and praise alone and build confidence. Learn to acknowledge your own efforts, progress, and accomplishments. Say to yourself: "I did a good job," "I handled that well," "I should feel proud of myself for trying." Self-validation builds your self-esteem from the inside out and makes you less dependent on others to determine your self-worth. Even when times are difficult, find ways to strengthen your connection with yourself through self-compassion and words of encouragement. Just like you cheer others on with excitement and nonjudgmental care. You deserve to be your own best cheerleader too.

Be happy,
Cristi

Understanding Your Triggers

Triggers are emotional reactions that come from past experiences. We all experience them but we don’t always understand them.

Benefits of recognizing and understanding our triggers:

- Self-Awareness:Recognize and understand your emotions better and now able to name them
- Improved Relationships : Communication gets better with others because we can put into words how we are feeling and resolve conflicts more effectively.
- Mental Health:Reduce stress and develop healthy coping mechanisms because we understand the cause.
- Empowerment: Gain control over our emotional responses because we understand the who, what, when, how and why behind our emotional reactions

Take gentle steps toward self-reflection because self accountability isn’t always easy nor revisiting painful memories, but it is worth it.

Here are some questions to ask yourself to get started. Hope this helps.

Be well,
Cristi

Bullying is the CHRONIC (persistent) psychological or physical harm to another person. When we talk about teens and kids we call it bullying. As adults we call it abuse.

Parents some of your kids are ABUSING others and you are enabling. I am so sick and tired of the stupid excuses: it’s just little girl drama, boys will be boys, they’re just petty it’s all harmless.. . Or how about the gaslighting? If your kid wasn’t quiet, weird, stood up for themselves… it would not happen.

When i meet kids that are little adult abusers bc that is what they are, they usually have parents thst are just as bad; entitled, self righteous, abusive, petty, and ego driven to name a few.

As a culture we need to stop being bystanders and watching these little human abusers continue with their destructive behaviors. Parents if your child is being bullied stand up and make noise.

Bullying is NOT normal. Bullying another person is NOT normal behavior for a human being at any age! Abuse is NOT normal.

Bullying is abuse that destroys people. Kids/ adults self harm bc of bullying. They committ su***de, they self isolate, they have a harder time establishing healthy relationships and keeping jobs as adults. If you are an adult bully- get help
If your child is a bully- get them help. If your child is being bullied make noise and get them help!

Be freaking nice! For everyone else whostands by and watches it happen- shame on you. Tell these kids to stop, tell their parents… stick up for these kids and adults.

Ugh this is such a frustrating conversation that takes every ounce of strength that I have to not bully people back.

Whatever adversity you are experiencing in your life. I know it’s hard and scary living in a dark and heavy place. My heart goes out to you because I understand this pain. But I have learned to understand that we do have a right to say: ‘I don’t deserve this pain’, ‘why can’t I catch a break?’ ‘my heart can’t take this anymore’

Shame is a powerful thing. Usually it comes from trauma of sorts. Shame tells our mind we must have done something wrong , we must be bad, we must be unworthy, or else we wouldn’t be experiencing what we are going through. So we must deserve adverse events. Because we are bad, unworthy, ect.

Some people may disagree with me. But what if you don’t deserve the pain? What if you are a good person who simply makes mistakes and aren’t bad- just human. Fight the urge to give into the mindset that questions your value as a human being.

We can feel bad, sad, angry, frustrated, terrified, anxious, lost, defeated

We can feel all these “negative “ emotions and at the same time have hope and continue to fight for ourselves and our happiness. Our feelings are real and they make us human, not weak or bad. We can take it as slow as we need to and move forward at the same time.

Breath and repeat:

When you open your heart to another, you make yourself vulnerable. If you have ever loved and experienced the destruction of loving someone; I’m sorry. But you have a choice… do you run away and keep your vow to never be hurt again or do you muster up all of your strength and be brave enough to let love heal and restore you?

My advice: Be brave and have faith in someone and allow yourself to be vulnerable. I heard this saying, being loved makes you strong but loving someone makes you brave. Be brave and you will be rewarded with great intimacy, compassion, kindness and a life partner that will fight the devil himself for you. Just understand that this type of love requires courage.

What if I get hurt? Fair enough but what if you don’t?

That’s it Queen 👸🏻

I think when we love people the greatest fear we face is losing them to death.

When we are faced with the possibility of death or dying we realize how much we are going to miss those we love.

In both scenarios we realize the fragility of life and how much we truly love them. The heart aches and breaks, the spirit longs for more time to love, and the mind wishes we had loved harder, cherished and valued them more, and spoken all the beautiful thoughts we felt but were too afraid to say.

“You can’t live forever “

Maybe just maybe we should be brave enough to love as if death was near.

Be well
Be brave
Be loving

~ Cristi

After so much work and back and forth! I finally finished my website! Check it out!

Cristi Leyva As a mindset coach, I help couples rekindle their bond through love, forgiveness, and communication. Individual sessions focus on self-awareness and empathy, while joint sessions enhance communication and conflict resolution. The goal is to nurture love, deepen connections, and overcome obstacles wi...

Thank you 🙏🏽

To all the moms Happy Mother’s Day! May this day honor you and be filled with the joy of the family you created.

To my single moms, moms who have lost children, and those who have lost their own mothers:

You are loved. You are needed. You are enough.

Mother's Day reminds us of the profound love between a mother and her children. For some, this day may stir up feelings of loss, longing or loneliness. I want you to know that you are not alone in your experience . There are others who share in your joy and pain.

Though your circumstances are unique, the bond you share with your children transcends everything else. The love between a mother and child is eternal, unchanged by time or events. You gave life, and in turn, were forever changed. That gift, and the memories you have made, live on forever.

For the single mom, you show up each day with a courage and selflessness that deserves to be celebrated. You hold it all together, often without thanks or praise. I know it gets lonely and this day can remind you of that. Know that you are a shining light, and your children are so very lucky to call you Mom. Hang in there… your day will come.

For those who have lost their mothers, I hope you find comfort in sweet memories of her love and support. She shaped the woman you have become, and though she is gone, the lessons she taught live on through you. Her love continues still.

For the mom who has lost a child, no words can ease your pain. Your child is with you still, and always will be, in your heart and memories. They know your love, and you will meet again. Find solace knowing you will forever remain their mother, and they your child.

To all moms everywhere, you have the most important job. You are heroes, leaders, healers, and the heart of your families. This day, and every day, I celebrate you. You are loved beyond measure for all that you sacrifice and all that you are. My wish is that you find moments of comfort, joy and peace this Mother's Day. You deserve nothing less.

Men, you too, deserve a soft place to land ❤️‍🩹

Ser madre, significa tener una razón de ser para el resto de tu vida. Ser madre es querer ser tu mejor versión y aprender a escuchar tu instinto. Es ser fuertes, cariñosas, luchadoras e incondicionales.

Feliz Día de las Madres

It’s not easy being a mom, especially being a single mom or one in a partnership that makes you feel like a single mom. Regardless if you are single or boo’d up the pressures to be the best mom are high. We always want to do, fix, provide, protect and it never feels like it’s enough. Most if the time, we got this but sometimes we break in the dark. Just know, that you are a good mother and your kids see that. They may not say it as often as they should but you are so loved, so needed and so cherished. Good job mom 👸🏻

Many trauma victims are some of the most kindhearted and compassionate people I have known. However, the cruelest people will abuse their kindness, innocence and trusting nature to hurt them. To be clear, someone does not become a victim because they were kind, trusting or innocent (naive). They become a victim because an abusive person decided to take advantage of their kindness, trusting nature and innocence.

If you were abused, let this sink in: You did not deserve that! Under any circumstance, you did not deserve what happened to you and I hope with all my heart you are ok 💕

It’s not easy to move forward with transformation and actually confront what we are fearing and feeling without running away.

It’s so easy to ignore our fears, the little voices inside our head that always seem to be whispering that maybe we aren’t enough, that we don’t deserve to be loved. The voices that tell us that maybe we would be better off alone because we’re unable to be or become a person worthy of being loved back. The voices that tell us that we are a failure in everything that we do.

Often times these voices have been those of others towards us. Whether verbally expressed through similar words or expressed through actions, or in the way we have been treated. The problem is that sometimes this mistreatment has happened so many times that we start internalizing these voices as being a confirmation of the voices in our head. We then accept them as our own thoughts of ourselves without questioning their validity. The more external confirmations we receive the louder these voices get and the harder it is to replace them with something kinder, compassionate and actually true.
Trying to be more compassionate and positive towards ourselves is something we try and try to practice but it doesn’t always work. The amount of energy it takes can prove to be too much when we factor in everything else going on in our lives. From relationships, work, and other responsibilities,sometimes, we simply don’t have the capacity to practice self care, mindfulness and the energy it takes to work on replacing these limiting beliefs. Instead, we start to ignore them, supress them and pretend they aren’t there. We get busy with fixing, with doing, with showing up for others in hope that this will help us overcome those fears and prove the voices that confirm that we aren’t worthy of love and we aren’t enough wrong. Each and every time we do manage to get ahead of these thoughts and debunk any truth we think they hold, things become good for a little bit. Then we get triggered by something that slightly threatensour happiness, confirms our fears (whether consciously or subconsciously) and the ugly voices come back with ease. Cont..👇🏼

It really is okay… so take it easy on yourself. This goes for men too. Your mental health matters just as much as everyone else’s. You don’t always have to be “strong”.

It’s not easy to move forward with transformation and actually confront what we are fearing and feeling without running away.

It’s so easy to ignore our fears, the little voices inside our head that always seem to be whispering that maybe we aren't enough, that we don't deserve to be loved. The voices that tell us that maybe we would be better off alone because we’re unable to be or become a person worthy of being loved back. The voices that tell us that we are a failure in everything that we do.

Often times these voices have been those of others towards us. Whether verbally expressed through similar words or expressed through actions, or in the way we have been treated. The problem is that sometimes this mistreatment has happened so many times that we start internalizing these voices as being a confirmation of the voices in our head. We then accept them as our own thoughts of ourselves without questioning their validity. The more external confirmations we receive the louder these voices get and the harder it is to replace them with something kinder, compassionate and actually true.

Trying to be more compassionate and positive towards ourselves is something we try and try to practice but it doesn’t always work. The amount of energy it takes can prove to be too much when we factor in everything else going on in our lives. From relationships, work, and other responsibilities,sometimes, we simply don’t have the capacity to practice self care, mindfulness and the energy it takes to work on replacing these limiting beliefs. Instead, we start to ignore them, supress them and pretend they aren’t there. We get busy with fixing, with doing, with showing up for others in hope that this will help us overcome those fears and prove the voices that confirm that we aren't worthy of love and we aren’t enough wrong. Each and every time we do manage to get ahead of these thoughts and debunk any truth we think they hold, things become good for a little bit. Then we get triggered by something that slightly threatens our happiness, confirms our fears (whether consciously or subconsciously) and the ugly voices come back with ease.

Fixing, doing, serving, suppressing is all a bandaid, a quick fix, not a long term solution. We have to decide that we are actually ready to transform and do the work necessary. We have to decide that we want to believe that we are loveable, worthy, deserving and enough. We have to decide we want to fight for ourselves. As uncomfortable as it may be we need to go deeper than just looking at our thoughts and discover the source. The goal is to become more patient with ourselves, more compassionate, self regulated, authentic, and ultimately free to be who we want to be.

If you need help and this resonates with you. I understand one hundred percent. I get the struggle and the pain. Let’s do the work together. Reach out to start one on one coaching.

Be well ❤️‍🩹

Loyalty creates accountability within partnerships. Loyalty extends beyond fidelity and can be difficult to maintain in bad times. No matter how angry or hurt you are by your significant other, if they are self deprecating don’t feed their negativity by allowing their negative inner voice to take over. In the moment, your ego might agree but in the end it does more harm than good. You might say: well maybe they are? That’s fair and maybe in that moment they are, but if that were truly who they were consistently or at their core why be with them? Negative self talk is really powerful. Keep your partner accountable by staying loyal to the version of them that you know they are and they are striving to be. In the end it builds trust as they know they can fail and not be judged and it leaves room for personal growth. People will change when they feel it is safe to do so. A partner who is willing to do the work is much more respectable than one who isn’t. And by extending this type of grace, the more respect and admiration you get from them. Who wouldn’t admire and respect a partner with this much empathy, compassion and grace? If you really care about your partner, don’t endorse the self hate but extend grace and compassion. After all, when the emotions pass, do you really want them to think you also see them that way and watch them shrink in confidence and self respect?

1st Team All District! You did it! Never doubted you for a second. So proud of you London! Your hard work is paying off! PREP1 .nld couldn’t have done this without you Coach G!

Life. What can we say, but that sometimes it feels like there are so many mountains to move and all we have are those cute little toy beach shovels to move them. It feels as comical as it sounds. It feels impossible. It’s scary, it’s lonely, it’s exhausting. Keep going.

It’s easy to forget all those other mountains God has helped you move in the past. Remember, all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed and the will to not give up. It’s easy to forget who you are. So let me gently remind you:

You are a star. ⭐️ Within each mountain moved lies great strength. When pressure builds, your light shines brightest. God will use you to prove that impossible things can be done. Keep going.

Explosions may seem frightening, but from the ashes of difficulty, new beginnings arise. Do not lose faith in darkness - you are filled with God’s light 💡

Please remember, you’ve got this, Starbright. 😉 You really do.

Be brave and of good courage. Don’t be afraid. For God is with you - Dueteronmoy 31:6

Here is a cheat sheet on love languages. What they love to do for you what hurts the most. ❤️

❤️

When we think about boundaries, we often see them as a tool to protect ourselves from the wrong people from entering our lives. However, what if we shift our perspective and consider boundaries as a way to ensure the right people stay in our lives?

Hopefully, the people in our lives or those we want to be in our lives are there because we've chosen them. More than likely there are many reasons as to why we like or love them and if we’re honest we don’t want them to go anywhere. This is probably one reason why we might fear setting boundaries. The fear that expressing our needs might drive them away or lead to our needs being dismissed, and it might. But, what if it doesn’t ? What if the key is simply to change our mindset from keeping people out to keeping the right ones in?

Instead of focusing on exclusion, which can lead to building walls that prevent genuine connections, we change our mindset so that we can keep the right people in. By practicing this shift we communicate: Because you are important to me and because I want you to stay in my life, it’s important to me that you respect my need for X. Again, the message is: I don’t want you to leave, I want you to stay. I want us to last.

Had a wonderful date night at the Peterson talk. Feeling grateful and inspired after learning and laughing together. Even better, I had the pleasure of experiencing it all with one of the best men I know - my partner who is also my best friend, lover, and feels like home.

Sharing this talk with him was awesome on so many levels. One being that we are both fans but knowing that making me happy is important to him takes the cake. Coming from relationships where emotional safety was non existent, having a partner that makes an effort to see me happy makes me a priority is really a beautiful gift. He’s a busy guy. Being a business owner, I see the long work hours he puts in and all the duties and fires he deals with, how he’s always learning to be the best in his field, and most importantly how he is always striving to be a great father, brother, son, uncle. ( nothing beats a family man)

Peterson touched on what makes a great man and how rare they are. I couldn’t help but feel so proud and lucky that I snagged one and as tired as he was, he was right there holding my hand.

All in all a great night❤️ ❤️

This is true for every aspect of our lives. For example:

If we THINK we are not enough then we will FEEL like we are not enough and as a result ACT like we are not enough.

Now, think about it and ask yourself: How do people behave when they feel they are not enough?

If we BELIEVE we are not loved then we will FEEL unloved and as a result we will BEHAVE how unloved people behave.

Now, think about it and ask yourself: How do people behave when they feel they are not loved?

This is why mindset is so important. If you are curious why your behavior or someone’s behavior has suddenly changed ask yourself what are they or I believing to be true that wasn’t true before?

If you need help unpacking or changing your mind schedule a free phone consultation to see if I can help you

London’s So proud of my Prep 1 Athlete! ⭐️🥎
Belief in oneself is the first step to success! But having strong leaders, coaches and mentors who see your value and greatness is something else. PREP1

Thank you for believing in London’s _01 .nld best. ⭐️🥎

Couples, remember, you only have a limited amount of time to love each other. Don’t waste it by holding grudges, fighting, or living in your ego. Let go of the past, forgive each other, and focus on creating a present and future filled with love and happiness. Remember, time is precious, so make the most of it by cherishing each other every day.

If a man does not feel respected in a relationship,eventually love will not be enough.
If a woman does not feel safe in a relationship, eventually love will not be enough.

Men, what are some ways you feel respected by a woman in a relationship ?
Women, What are some ways a man helps you feel safe in a relationship?