David Ruybalid

January is Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month!

January is "Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month".
Reflecting on how purity culture can inadvertently lead to religious trauma and spiritual abuse.

January is Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month.

This image reflects my experience growing up in high-control Christianity, where I endured spiritual and sexual abuse. Silenced, I felt unsafe, processing overwhelming childhood trauma alone. Surviving in that context meant being silent, leaving deep wounds and shame.

No one, especially children, should feel alone in an environment claiming the name of Jesus. Since opening up about my abuse, some (even close to me) dismiss or downplay it. I unapologetically speak out against abuse in Christian contexts, aiming for healing of others. This has given me opportunities to walk with victims, write for publications, and be a guest on radio shows and podcasts.

In 2020, the top Christian broadcasting company in the nation invited me to discuss spiritual abuse on a radio show. Recently, I discovered my episode vanished under new management, because they were uncomfortable with it. This silenced an important conversation.

Ignoring spiritual abuse won’t make it disappear. We must address it. If you’re a Christian not wanting to talk about it, or you downplay the experience of victims, you’re in denial. It’s rampant in the church, from toxic leaders to harmful theology, that you may be knowingly or unknowingly following.

If you’re a victim, message me for support and resources. No one should feel alone in the name of Jesus.

January is "Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month".
Exploring the subtle signs of spiritual abuse within churches. Let's foster environments of love, empathy, and genuine spiritual growth.

January is "Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month".
Uncovering the negative responses to spiritual abuse allegations in many toxic churches and leadership cultures.

January is "Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month".
Navigating the delicate balance in pastoral care: Recognizing the dangers of mistaking a dysregulated nervous system, often masked as a triggered trauma response, for divine conviction. Understanding these nuances is crucial to prevent unintentional harm and foster genuine healing.

January is "Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month".
Exploring the intricate web where spiritual abuse intersects with other forms of harm, shedding light on the hidden connections that demand awareness and healing.

January is 'Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month.' Many people are processing difficult dynamics that they experienced over the holidays with their families. Let's engage in a conversation about understanding the dynamics of spiritual abuse within some families.

I have heard Brian Zahnd say, "fundamentalism is to Christianity what paint by numbers is to art." I strongly agree!

There's a healthy way to practice and an unhealthy way that can lead to religious addiction. Let's open up the conversation and find balance on our spiritual journey.

Shining a light on a crucial issue – not all churches practice love and support. It's time to address abusive church discipline.

Exploring the intricate web of consequences as authoritarianism casts its shadow on certain Christian communities, shedding light on the challenges faced and the resilience shown in the face of adversity.

Forgiveness can't be rushed. It can't be forced. It is a beautiful gift to receive when we have hurt someone, and own up. When timing is right, it is also a beautiful gift to free our soul.

Join me in praying for the dedicated staff and lay leaders nationwide who navigated the challenges and joys of the season. They poured their hearts into preparing for Christmas Eve services. In some ministry leadership cultures, the weight of expectations was overwhelming, leading to an excess of effort and unhealthy demands.

From “On the Incarnation”. I read it every Christmas.

Merry Christmas!!!

It is crucial to approach discussions about pain and God's plans with sensitivity. Check out seven ways certain phrases might unintentionally be perceived negatively.

A Critique on the Harmful Theology of Suffering. Let's foster empathy, understanding, and support in the face of adversity.

Here is a part of a prayer from a well known Neo-Calvinist author, after he fell and broke his hip a few years ago:
"Physical weakness is a
moral battleground
where “I don’t deserve this”
anger wars with “I deserve worse”
gratitude.
Lord help me."

What belief (or beliefs) does this statement perpetuate that are commonly seen in purity culture and/or cause us to be blind to abuse?

I will share my thoughts later.

Why the delay?
Discrediting survivors by asking, 'Why didn't they come forward sooner?' oversimplifies the complex reasons behind delayed reporting. Victims of sexual abuse, r**e, and assault have unique experiences, and the decision to speak out is deeply personal. Let's break the stigma and support survivors with empathy.

Exploring the profound connections between Dietrich Bonhoeffer and the African American community in the United States—a dynamic mix of faith, activism, and shared resilience.

What can we learn from the advice that Job's friends gave and how similar types of harmful advice can occur in our Christian environments today?

Join the conversation on the power of words in Christian environments – exploring unintentional harm and fostering mindful expression for a more inclusive and empathetic community.

Here is something I wrote a few years ago, but I believe it is a message that is a good reminder.

“A few years ago, I went to a conference with church communications teams from around the nation. A prominent business coach was speaking the first night. He kept telling us, “you need to get to more, and you need to get to more before anyone else!” Church leaders were taking it all in and applauding him. “Join the hamster wheel! Stress out your teams! Make them feel that it is on them to “wow” people!” This is what was being felt in the room. This is what I have felt in ministry over the years.”

The Most Amazing Christmas Message Ever!!! – Thoughts for Ministry Teams Every year as a pastor Christmas Eve comes around. Ministry teams work hard knowing that they will have guests coming to church. It is a great opportunity to connect with people who traditionally o…

Recognizing gaslighting is crucial not only in biblical narratives but also in our lives. If you've ever been a victim of gaslighting, seek support to rebuild your confidence and sense of reality. It's not a part of a healthy relationship, but a destructive one.

Spiritual bypassing is a term that refers to the unhealthy use of spiritual practices to avoid facing and dealing with the challenging and often painful aspects of life. It involves seeking a superficial sense of spirituality or enlightenment to bypass or escape from the necessary process of confronting one's own emotional, psychological, or existential struggles.

Anti-intellectualism is the rejection or distrust of intellectual pursuits, critical thinking, and knowledge, often leading to a disregard for evidence-based reasoning and scholarly exploration.

Here is how anti-intellectualism plays out in common Bible reading:

Thank you REBEKAH drumsta!

10 Tips to Surviving the Holidays With Religious Trauma — Rebekah Drumsta Let’s be honest, the Holidays can be rough. There are so many expectations - dinners to make, parties to attend, attire to select, gifts to buy, family to see, pictures to take, lawns to decorate and trees or tables to adorn. Add in the journey of faith deconstruction or religious trauma recovery ...

From authoritarian leadership to the cult of personality, understanding the seven common tactics that control and manipulate followers of spiritual abusers.

Why Some Churches Prioritize Their Organizations & Leaders Over Sexual Abuse Victims...