Hopeful Marriages

August 30, 2020

If I have asked once, I have asked a thousand times. I am like the kid in the back seat that keeps asking are we there yet. Relentless. Persistent. I ask God over and over to heal my husband’s heart and restore His relationship to Jesus. More than anything, I want to see my husband return to being the godly man he once was. I also ask God to restore our marriage. I pray that one day my husband will come home. But it’s been so long and I see no change in his heart. If anything he appears to be pulling further away.

There are times when it becomes increasingly hard to keep pressing forward. Some days it’s like everything and everyone is against me. This whole thing just doesn’t make logical sense to me. I can only imagine that this is how Noah must have felt when he was building the ark. God told him to build a huge ship on dry land. He told him a flood was coming. Noah was obedient, but I can just imagine what it must have been like when people came by where he was building. They must have thought he was crazy, building a boat so far from water. And a flood was something that had never occurred before. It had never even rained before the flood. The idea of a flood coming was inconceivable.

People must look at me like they did Noah when I tell them I am standing for my marriage. They see my husband so far from me, moving on with someone else. It just doesn’t make sense. Why would someone hang onto a marriage that is obviously dead? Why would someone not just give in, let go, and move on? It certainly goes against culture and world view.

Even though Noah must have faced ridicule and many hardships, he didn’t give up. He just kept building his ship. He kept moving forward even though it still wasn’t raining and there was no sight of any rain. I’m sure that people kept thinking he was crazy. But He kept pressing forward and didn’t give up.

That is exactly what I feel is necessary in my situation. I must keep pressing forward. I cannot give up just because people may tell me my situation is impossible. Nothing is impossible with God. It eventually rained. I’m sure all those people who thought Noah was crazy quickly realized how wrong they were and that Noah was standing on God’s word to him. Eventually, my husband will come home and people will realize that I have been standing on God’s word to me.

Many will see and know that the Lord is God. They will know and glorify Him. It may not look like that right now, but the rains are coming and when they get here everyone will know that there is one true God in Heaven and that He does what He says He will do.

In Peace, Not Pieces

August 29, 2020

God’s timing can be one of the hardest things to wait on. Too many times I get frustrated because God doesn’t seem to be moving as fast as I think He should. I know that God has shown me He will restore my husband to Him and to our family. I believe with all my heart that He will come home. The real problem is that I don’t know when and I get impatient waiting for God to move.

My impatience does not move God any faster. I am certain that God is not in heaven looking down at me and saying, “Well, she’s getting a little impatient. I better hurry up and change her situation.” No, the reality is He is probably thinking just the opposite; He needs to let me wait a little longer to teach me some patience. Either way, God is going to move in His time, not mine.

The thing about God’s timing is that it’s perfect. Never too soon and never too late. Always perfect. Even though we might see it as taking too long or being too late, I can assure you it is not.

See, God is in the waiting as well. God knows that if He delivers you too soon you may not learn to lean on Him. When you get what you want, you may start setting Him to the side for other things. You may become a bit prideful and you could abandon your relationship with Him.

But God also knows that if He takes you through the fire for just the right amount of time you will come out stronger than before. You will know you need to keep your eyes on Him and how much you need Him to see you through.

God doesn’t want you to set Him aside. He wants you to continue to see Him in the storm and after the storm is over. He will take you through and bring you out on the other side at just the right time.

All you have to do is trust His timing.

In Peace, Not Pieces

August 28, 2024

There were many days during the nine years I stood that I felt weary. Sometimes it was just downright exhausting. Especially when I looked at the circumstances or listened to people with a worldly view. The problem was me trying to do things in my own strength and trying to control things I couldn’t control. It wasn’t until I learned to surrender it all to God and trust that He would take care of me that I finally found a place of peace and rest.

I thought about giving up more times than I would like to admit. I trusted God, but I didn’t really trust Him. I guess what I mean by that is I trusted that He was real and that He loves me, but I didn’t trust that He was going to work things out for my good, especially when everything looked the exact opposite of that.

I learned so much about trusting God during those years standing, and yet I still have moments of struggle. I saw God move and change everything, but still, even now, I have moments where I wonder if God is going to work in my current circumstances. That’s when I remind myself of all God has done in the past. If I didn’t learn anything else, I learned not to give up. I didn’t give up then and I won’t give up now. I won’t give up praying for friends and family to have a relationship with God. I won’t give up praying for prodigal spouses to come home. And I won’t give up asking God to use me in mighty ways to help others.

I won’t give up and neither should you. I know how tired you are. I know it’s hard for you to see the things your spouse is doing and believe that it can all turn around in an instant. But I also know how quickly God moves. I know that there is no circumstance He cannot overcome. I know that He sees you and your spouse and is working it all out for good. I know that He has a plan and I trust that plan completely.

And so should you.

In Peace, Not Pieces

August 28, 2020

I am so tired. I know you are tired too. This war we are in over our marriages. It’s exhausting, mentally and emotionally draining. And if you are like me, you have thought about giving up. Just walking away and never looking back. In my mind that would be so much easier. But in reality, nothing would change except that I would then be running from God just as hard as my husband currently is.

Giving up is really not an option for me. The Bible tells us not to give up, we will reap a harvest. All we have to do is keep standing strong. At just the right time God will come through for us and it will be AMAZING!

There will come a day when every tear will be wiped away. All the hurt will be erased. We will wake up one day and realize that God really was working all things for our good. And we will look back and realize that it was all necessary to bring us to the new place that we will have arrived.

We will have a new song of joy in our hearts. Peace will rule in our lives. We will have finally come to the place of trusting completely in Him. We will have a new understanding of how deep God’s love truly is for us and we will walk in the confidence of His power and love.

All of this is just on the other side of not giving up. It’s right there at the end of the race that we have run with endurance. And it’s the place where we are striving to be.

I know that right now all this may be difficult for you to see. Right now your heart feels like someone is ripping it out. You constantly have a nauseous feeling in your stomach and you are just tired. It’s completely understandable. But it’s time to take your eyes off of your circumstances and put them on God. Lay your spouse at the foot of the cross and walk away. Let God deal with them.

I know this is easier said than done. I’m right there with you, dear brother and sister. But this is what you must do in order to reach that place of peace. God will work it all out. I promise. All you have to do is let go and trust Him to do the rest.

And don’t give up.

In Peace, Not Pieces

August 27, 2024

I needed to re-read this morning’s post from 2020 as much as anyone. As many of you know, I have been working on a second book and I am really struggling to find time to write a daily post, work on the book, and juggle my business. Throw in keeping up with home and kids. I have been kind of down on myself and haven’t been able to see the beauty in all God has created. But then again, I have not been taking time to slow down and look.

Perhaps that is why God sent the bird.

Let me tell you about the bird. Early in the week, this beautiful white bird showed up at my house. I have no idea where it came from, but it’s not scared of me. I thought it might have been injured, but it’s not. I was not even sure what kind of bird it was. It looked like a pigeon, but it was white and it has these feathers growing on it’s feet. So I did what anyone would do and I googled it. Turns out this bird is a rare breed of pigeon and even more rare because it’s an albino.

I haven’t been taking time to look at all the beauty around me, so God sent this beautiful bird to get my attention. I apparently haven’t quite gotten the message God wants me to get because the bird is still here…pooping all over everything. That’s a story for a different day.

My point is, no matter what is going on in our lives, we can all get side tracked and forget to stop and smell the roses. We can get so caught up in the messiness of living that we forget to stop and enjoy the beauty God has created. The beauty is still there regardless of how ugly our circumstances are. God is still worthy of our praise regardless of how messy our lives get. We just have to choose to stop, take in the beauty, and praise God for it.

Right now you life is a mess. Your marriage is in champles and you cannot see any way for things to work for good. Stop looking at the circumstances. Take a deep breath and take time to look at the beautiful things God has created around you. Praise Him and thank Him for the good. Then trust Him to work out all the bad. I know it sounds easier than it is, but I promise if you give it time God will work it all out.

In Peace, Not Pieces

August 27, 2020

I am truly in awe of God and His mighty works. I have discovered that if I stop looking at the world through my circumstances and brokenness, I can see a whole world of beauty out there. I see God’s hand in everything. He created the birds that fly and the trees that grow. God made the moon, the stars, and the sun that sets, creating a beautiful scene on the horizon. God’s handy work is all around us.

And we should praise and worship Him because of it.

Even when our lives are in shambles and we cannot see our way out, we can still see the beauty in God’s creation. We can still observe it and praise Him for it. We just have to open our eyes to it. We have to look past the circumstances that are right in our faces to see beyond what is right in front of us.

You really don’t have to look far to find something beautiful. All too often we just pass it by as if it’s not there. God created the world and everything in it to glorify Him. The Bible says that the earth and everything in it should rejoice. That includes us, we are supposed to rejoice and praise Him for all He has created. God created us to worship, praise, and glorify Him.

Regardless of how you are feeling, look for something to praise and celebrate God for. If it’s storming outside, thank him for the rain that will make the flowers grow. Look for the rainbow after the rain. Stop and take in the beauty of the clouds before the rain. Take time to really look at a tree. Look closely at it and how beautiful it is with its roots that grow deep down in the ground. Look up at the stars and the moon and praise God for the beautiful night sky, or praise Him for the warm sun that shines so bright and provides light to the world.

There is something beautiful in all of creation. You just have to open your eyes and look for it. Don’t let the weight of your circumstances keep you down and blind you from the beauty of God’s creation. Even if you have to force yourself to look, find something beautiful today and praise God for it.

You will be amazed at the changes you will see in yourself if you will do this one simple thing.

In Peace, Not Pieces

August 26, 2024

I can remember how impossible my circumstances appeared to be like it was yesterday. Everything that was happening in my life appeared to be the exact opposite of what I believed God had shown me. Family and friends told me to give up because it was hopeless, yet I kept hoping and believing.

When I wrote the words, “When God turns this impossible situation around,” I didn’t know that He was going to do it in just a few short months. All I knew was I couldn’t give up hope because God was the one who had given it to me. I was going to believe Him as long as it took. I knew that He would do what He said He would do.

And He did.

God restored my marriage. He brought my husband home. And it certainly was all for His glory. It was all Him. The only thing I did was keep praying and believing that He would follow through on His promise to me. I didn’t give up. I just kept believing.

The Bible says that faith can move mountains. I can testify that is true because that is all I had. Nothing about my circumstances would have led me to believe my husband would ever come home. My faith is what sustained me through to the end. And that is what will sustain you as well.

Don’t give up. Keep believing. God will do what He said He will do. Hold on to that mountain-moving faith until you see that mountain move.

In Peace, Not Pieces

August 26, 2020

Let’s talk about impossible situations. That made me let out a little Ha even as I typed it. Mostly because I am currently in an impossible situation. For time's sake, I will just say that my husband hates me, we haven’t spoken in months except for a short exchange where he told me how horrible I am, and there are pending divorce proceedings. And that’s just an overview.

Even though things look impossible, God said stand so I am standing. Some days I wonder why. It really looks as though this situation will never work out. But that’s what the enemy wants us to think. He wants to convince us all that our situations are hopeless and that they will never change. He wants us to see just how impossible our situations are.

This week I found comfort in the story of Gideon. Gideon’s story is so appropriate for me and all the things I have lived and am going through. I have been struggling with my circumstances, they seem impossible. Reading Gideon, His circumstances did not make a lot of sense either. Gideon had a huge army of 32,000. God told him his army was too large and he sent 22,000 home. That left Gideon with an army of 10,000. However, God told him that army was too large as well. He sent home all but 10,000. However, God told him yet again that his army was too large. He sent home all but 300 men. The Lord was going to defeat an enormous army with only 300 men. THat made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

That’s how I feel right now. It seems impossible. It doesn’t make sense to be taking a stand for my marriage. I can’t see any possible way for things to work out. It seems impossible just like it seemed impossible for Gideon to defeat the Midianites with just 300 men. But there is good news, God specializes in the impossible. Sometimes God’s plan doesn’t make sense to us. But God’s plan is always perfect.

God has a plan for my life. He has a purpose for my pain. He is creating a testimony that many people will see, and they will know that He is God. The one and only true God. The Alpha and Omega, beginning and the end.

When God brings turns this impossible situation around, it will glorify Him.
Stop doubting today. Start believing. Know that God can and will work a miracle in your life. It may not look like what you think, but it will be part of God’s perfect plan and it will bring Him glory.

Because God’s way is perfect!

In Peace, Not Pieces

August 25, 2020

During my quiet time with God, I could hear his ever-so-still small voice whisper to me. I heard him say sacrifice your marriage. Immediately the story of Abraham going up the mountain to sacrifice Isaac came to mind. I sat still and I asked God to please clarify. Am I hearing you right God? You want me to sacrifice my marriage? The same marriage you told me you were going to save? The same one you told me not to seek a divorce from? All this time I’ve been standing and now you want me to just walk away and sacrifice my marriage?

So many questions flooded my mind immediately. I was trying to make sense of it rather than just sitting and listening to what God was trying to tell me. I believe that God was communicating with me, but I believe I was not hearing exactly what He was saying. The longer I sat trying to listen, the more clear it began to become.

Yes, God was asking me to sacrifice my marriage. But the key thing I did next was look up the Bible verses God had brought to my mind. I began to read about how Abraham walked his only son, the one he loved dearly, to be sacrificed on a mountain that God was going to show him. Abraham didn’t question God, he just obediently went to the mountain. When they arrived at the mountain, Abraham told his servants, “wait here. We will travel a little farther and worship there then we will return.” When Isaac asked about the sacrifice, Abraham simply told him that God would provide the sacrifice.

Abraham was being obedient to God but all the while was confident that God would provide a sacrifice other than his son. He told the servants, “We will return.” That meant both him and his son Isaac. Abraham didn’t complain or even try to reason with God. He simply obeyed. He did what God asked him to do. That is all God wants out of any of us, obedience.

I believe that God will heal my broken marriage. I believe He will provide a miracle. However, in the meantime, God wants my obedience. I believe that God is telling me to sacrifice my marriage, but that won’t look like I think it will. I believe that just like with Abraham, God will provide the sacrifice. He is asking me to blindly follow Him. And my answer is yes.

I don’t know exactly what this sacrifice will look like. I believe it’s simply a surrender. I am surrendering to God’s will. I am letting go of my husband and marriage and giving every bit to God. And God will provide. He will provide the miracle just like He provided the lamb.

I am currently facing divorce. I have struggled with this because I have believed God told me there wouldn’t be a divorce. However, now I’m hearing Him ask me to sacrifice my marriage. I'm not really sure what to expect, but my answer to him is yes. Yes I will sacrifice my marriage for Him. Yes, I will surrender my will to His. I am walking forward in obedience to Him fully trusting that He will provide the sacrifice. I believe God will restore my husband back to Him and restore our marriage. And just like Abraham knew He would provide a way, I believe that God will provide a way for me.

And just like He will provide for me, He will provide a way for you too. Just keep walking in obedience to Him. Everything else will work out. Because God is our provider.

In Peace, Not Pieces

August 24, 2024

In today’s world, there are so many voices that we can listen to and they all have different opinions. Many claim they consult God’s word and are an authority on a certain topic. It can all be very confusing. I believe this is exactly what the enemy wants. He wants us all so confused by all the different voices that we can’t hear God’s voice when He speaks to us.

That is why we have to seek God and His answers for ourselves. We have to read His word daily and pray for discernment. We have to find a quiet place and listen for His voice to speak to us. Yes, it is important to consult with our elders but we have to be discerning. We have to know God’s word well enough to know if what someone else is telling us aligns. We can’t just take someone else’s word.

Right now you are most likely being inundated by many different opinions. People who you know love the Lord may tell you to walk away, stating how God would never want you to be unhappy. They are entitled to their opinion, but the one that matters most is God’s. You have to learn to discern what God is telling you for yourself. You do that by reading His word daily and seeking Him.

I’m not telling you to ignore everyone, what I am telling you is to consult God before making any decisions. Ask Him to show you what He wants you to do. Ask Him to give you discernment. He will. He will give you the wisdom and understanding you need to choose the path He wants you to take. All you have to do is ask.

Don’t give up. Seek God and ask Him about your path. Then wait for His direction that surely will come.

In Peace, Not Pieces

August 24, 2020

There’s a voice that has been whispering in my ear. Lately, it’s been a bit louder than it used to be. I’ve been ignoring it for a long time, but it seems that the longer I ignore it the louder it gets. It’s like that kid in the store that keeps saying, momma. He starts out low, but if momma doesn’t answer he gets louder and louder. Eventually, he is so loud that everyone in the store is thinking the same thing, “Would you answer that kid, already!”

The voice that I’m hearing is not an innocent kid calling his mother’s name. No, the voice that I’m hearing is far from innocent. This voice keeps telling me to give up and walk away. There are days that it’s relentless. I hear a thousand reasons to walk away. This voice would like nothing more than to see me quit and walk away from my marriage. It’s the voice of the enemy and he wants to put an end to my marriage. He wants to put an end to all marriages.

If I were listening to that voice I would have quit a long time ago. But I have not quit because I belong to Christ. He is the voice of reason. The Bible tells us that His sheep know His voice and they follow Him. That is how I block out the voice of the enemy. I know Jesus’ voice and I follow Him.

In this world, it’s easy to get confused if you are not careful. It’s easy to listen to the wrong voice, especially if you don’t know Jesus’ voice. The only way to know if the words you are hearing are from Him is to study His word. Knowing His word is a must for knowing His voice.

Sometimes the enemy can sound a lot like Jesus. He is very cunning and will even throw some scripture in there to encourage you to go the wrong way. But if you know God’s word, you will quickly recognize that there is something off about the scripture the enemy is giving you. Most times it is a partial truth or a twisted version of truth. If you don’t know the Word of God you can easily be led astray. However, if you are deeply rooted in God’s word you will quickly realize when it’s not His voice you hear.

Today you may be hearing that voice that is trying to encourage you to give up. That voice is not from God. God’s word says over and over, “Do not give up.” God might move you in a different direction, but He’s not going to just tell you to give up. Those words are from the enemy. Keep seeking God for your answers, but most of all, don’t give up. No matter how cunning the enemy is, recognize him for who he is. Tell him to get packing. And no matter what, don’t give up.

In Peace, Not Pieces

August 23, 2020

Yesterday I went for a long walk. Something about walking outside in nature just helps me clear my head. And my head has needed a lot of clearing lately. Sometimes it seems like I just can’t catch a break. Things just keep coming at me from all directions and all I really want to do is hunker down and shelter in place.

As I was walking, I noticed a huge old tree along the path. That tree has been there for years. It’s old and looks wise. I giggled to myself as I thought about the idea of sheltering in place. I thought that this tree would be the perfect place for shelter. It was tall and the trunk was huge. It would take at least 3 people to get their arms around it. This tree had deep roots and had stood the test of time, storms came and went but that tree still stood strong. It stood there so perfectly as if to say, “Nothing can take me down.”

I want to be like that tree. I want to stand tall and have deep roots. Only I don’t want my roots to grow down under the ground. No, I want my roots to grow deep down into God’s love. I want to wear wisdom like that tree so those who pass by will see me and know that I provide a safe place. Maybe they would even come to me when they were in trouble or had a need. Not because of me, but because of Jesus. I want my faith to be so evident that I stand just like that tree, strong and immovable.

Life’s storms come and go, but in the end, I will still be standing strong just like that tree. I will have the confidence of Jesus to be able to say, “Nothing can take me down.” Not because of me, but Because of Him. He will protect me because of my obedience and impact for His Kingdom.

Maybe you are struggling today. Maybe you don’t know what your tomorrow holds. Maybe you are feeling weak. I would like to encourage you to take a walk. As you are walking look for trees that are the symbol of strength. You might even want to go lean up against a tree and enjoy its shade. Think about how your life can compare to that tree. And when you get up, remember who you belong to. Then you will know that you are strong and immovable, just like my tree.

In Peace, Not Pieces

August 22, 2024

Four years ago I wrote about being powerless to change my circumstances. It was true then and still true today. I am still just as powerless today as I was then. I still depend on God as much today as I did four years ago. The biggest difference between now and then is I have seen God use His power to completely turn my situation around.

I didn’t give up when things got tough. I didn’t quit because of the circumstances. I didn’t walk away when everyone told me I would be better. I believed that God would provide a miracle at just the right time. And He did.

It’s hard to think of ourselves as powerless. We want to think we have control over our circumstances and the direction of our lives. And we do to a certain extent, but ultimately God is in control. We have to come to the place where we realize that depending on Him to work everything out for our good is the only true control we have.

Right now you are looking at impossible circumstances. I get it. It would be so much easier to take the bull by the horns and walk away. Trust me, I’ve been there. But that is not what God is asking you to do. He is asking you to surrender it all to Him and let Him work it out. He knows what’s best and is orchestrating His perfect plan. All you have to do is let go and trust Him.

In Peace, Not Pieces

August 22, 2020

I have a problem I cannot fix. I need a miracle.

There. I said it. I admit it. I am powerless. I have no power at all on my own. I feel completely and utterly helpless.

I am exactly where God wants me to be; powerless, helpless, at the end of me.

When we reach that place where we look around and we know that there is absolutely no way without a miracle, we have arrived. We have arrived in the place where there is no doubt that God was the one who performed the miracle. We have arrived in the place where He will receive the most glory. We have arrived where God can make the impossible happen and everyone will know it was Him.

And that’s where I am.

I am waiting for God to show up and show out BIG. Because that is what He does. Lazarus had been dead for days and was rotting in the tomb, yet when all hope seemed lost Jesus showed up and called Lazarus out of the grave. He showed out BIG. Jesus fed 5000 people with only five loaves of bread and two fish. Not only did he feed them, but they had baskets of leftovers. He showed up and showed out in a BIG way!

And that is exactly what he is going to do for me and for you. Now that I am at the end of me, in a place where I cannot control anything, Jesus is going to show up with my miracle. He didn’t show up right away. No, He could have shown up right away, but He had to wait. He had to wait to make sure that enough time had passed, enough time for the old to die. Just like he waited until after Lazarus was dead. He waited long enough to show that it was indeed His miracle. The perfect time.

It may seem like all hope is lost. It may seem like your marriage is dead. But remember, Lazarus was dead.

God is ready to perform a miracle. He wants to perform a miracle in your life. All you have to do is wait on Him. Wait for Him and His perfect timing. And then give Him all the glory.

In Peace, Not Pieces

August 21, 2020

As I am sitting here writing this, there is a strong thunderstorm, you might even consider it an electrical storm because of all the lightning. There have been multiple strikes very close by and the thunder is so loud it’s deafening. I know I am safe indoors and I know this storm is happening outside, but I am still startled by the loud noise of the lightning and thunder. Each loud pop causes fear to well up inside of me even though I know I am safe and I have to remind myself that I am indoors where the lightning cannot harm me.

This is exactly how it is with the enemy. We are safe under God’s protection. There is nothing that the enemy can do to harm us. All he can do is try to cause us to fear. Most times he uses shock value to instill that fear. He knows if he can catch us off guard he can strike fear to our very core.

That is why we must immediately turn to the Father as soon as we receive that first terrifying blow. The loud noise of the situation cannot be allowed to have control. We have to keep reminding ourselves that we are safe and that we are covered by God’s protection. Nothing the enemy can do can harm us.

I’ve been in this storm for quite a while now and every time lightning strikes near me I am still startled. You would think I’d have gotten used to it by now. I can be clicking along just fine and when something new comes my direction it still startles me.

This is not how God intends things to be. He wants us to rest safely beneath His wings. He wants to cover us and protect us. And if we are honest with ourselves, we will tell you that there are times when we get upset we lose sight of what God has for us. We begin to focus on the storm instead of our God. A little lightning and thunder cannot hurt us.

Turn to God today. Allow Him to protect you. Don’t be frightened by the storms, they can’t really hurt you. They can only scare you. Lean into God and let Him protect you. Sing His praises, read His word, and pray. Then you will know that He is God and can be Trusted.

In Peace, Not Pieces