Leigh Daniel, Advocate of Positive Change

Wishing all dads out there a Happy Father’s Day! Today, we celebrate you! 👨‍👧‍👦

True or False:

A postnuptial agreement can address child custody and support.
Let us know what you think below!

One more week of sales at .99 on Kindle. And in a few more days, the paperback will be live.

I read the book over again last week once it was live and this week with my new consultations I noticed the questions most people have are all in my book! I keep saying, "You need to buy my book". Then I realized, if everyone who just wanted information bought the book first, they wouldn't need even need a consult.

My book made it to #3 bestseller in the UK and next week I will be over in London promoting it (I'll be visiting friends but you better believe I'm going to promote it!).

If you or anyone you know have any interest on info before, during, or after the divorce then please buy now.

Thank you for your kind words, Michael. We appreciate your recommendation. ✨

If you've bought my book and read any of it, then you may notice some words are used repeatedly. I decided to give it another read myself and thought, I should have found synonyms instead of using these words so much! When I was writing, I wrote in bits and spurts and these words just came to me often:

1. Heartbreak, which speaks for itself.
2. Inference, defined as, a conclusion reached on the basis of evidence and reasoning.
3. Self care. This can mean different things for different people but one thing I know is that it's valuable whether we are going through a divorce or not.

Some examples may be spending time in nature, meditation, massage therapy, working out, taking time out for yourself, being committed to a wellness practice, or even watching something on TV that you really enjoy.

When I grew up, I saw my mom work fulltime and then spend the rest of the time doing yardwork, or cleaning, and making meals. I never saw her sit down. The only thing she did for her was talk on the phone to her friends.

Taking time for ourselves is even more important when we are feeling burned out, stressed out, or emotionally fragile.

Don't forget you are as important as all the people you are taking care of.

What are some things that are self care for you?

This is exciting! Thank you everyone who has purchased so far. I'm a best seller in two categories.

I really appreciate the support so much!

Here we go! It’s launch day. I’ve set some goals and I’m excited to see them come true!

https://www.amazon.com/This-Not-Legal-Advice-Practical-ebook/dp/B0CW1FTKLL

Special thanks to Maggie McReynolds and her book coaching and Dina Behrman and her publishing skills, and Christine Evangelides Dodd for editing help, and Jenn Greenlee Besaw for helping me keep all the chapters organized (harder than writing), and thanks to all the clients who’ve trusted me.

This Is Not Legal Advice: Practical advice for before, during and after divorce This Is Not Legal Advice: Practical advice for before, during and after divorce

May 30th! I will have links to purchase the Kindle version on Amazon for $.99!

After my post about my mom the other day, I called her and warned her about the upcoming launch and the FB posts that may mention her. She laughed and said she was excited for me. This wasn't always the case. When I told her I had chosen family law to focus on, she told me I was doing "The devil's work". Over the years, I have told her about some of the situations my clients have faced. She has come around and acknowledges now that I have helped a lot of people get through to a more positive outcome.

When I was visiting recently, she and I sat down over chips and salsa and she said, "Things have changed a lot since the old days." I agreed but told her that for the people going through the challenge of divorcing their spouse, things have continued to be difficult. I can't speak for everyone but most folks don't enter into either marriage or divorce lightly. I don't know anyone who has walked into my office glad to be getting a divorce.

It's a tough time. But there are things that can make it easier, and I go over those tactics and strategies based on my experience. I hope you will be sure and pick up the book on Thursday.

Today we honor the brave souls who made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. 🇺🇸 Their courage and sacrifice will never be forgotten.

The book launch is May 30th and you can get your very own copy for $.99 and by doing that you will help me reach so many more people who really need the "Not Legal Advice".

I named my podcast and the book this because I am doling out so much advice about a myriad of subjects. One of the most frequent questions I hear is, "Am I too old for divorce?". There has been a surge of divorce in the over 55 crowd and I've seen people who are much older seeking a divorce.

I met with one woman who was so frail she looked like she could break into pieces. Her skin so pale her veins shown through her tissue-like skin. When I came in the office, she looked at me with eyes brimming with tears. As I asked her how I could help her, she began to tell me the story of her forty plus year marriage.

Her husband called her by a pet name and lavished affection on her. He gave her everything she wanted. She had a life filled with social engagements and hobbies. She told me about the grand staircase in their home. As she recounted it all, she had a wistful look on her face, as if she was in another place. I just listened.

She stopped talking. Taking a deep breath. All of it had stopped. He had reconnected with an old girlfriend and he was giving her the attention. Calling her the pet names, visiting her out of state and talking of moving out of the expensive home they owned to the pursue a different life.

I tried to reassure her that the assets they had, she would be fine. He wasn't leaving her high and dry. But he was leaving her. After forty plus years, she said she wasn't sure she wanted to go on living. I felt her sadness and began to talk to her about her many friends and the charities she volunteered with. She was an animal lover like me and we bonded over our respective rescues. Her face had lightened momentarily as we chatted about things other than her marriage.

As she left, I reminded her of the many good memories she had made. I told her she wasn't alone and she had so many people who cared for her and depended on her. I told her that I knew she would be ok.

For those who have been married for a long time and are nearing retirement, it can seem like there is nothing else. But there is, and in the book I give suggestions on how to move through this transition time and settle into a life alone.

Does this sound familiar to any of you?

My book is launching Amazon on May 30th and until then I'll be sharing a bit about the book in hopes that by the launch date I will have a lot of people who will be interested in the book or that will just spend $.99 to support me!

One of the things I address in the book is shame. I grew up in Tuscumbia, Alabama and no one I knew was a child of divorce. In fact, I didn't know a single person who had been divorced. I was also taught that divorce was a sin and with a strong Christian upbringing, the last thing I could imagine was getting a divorce. Towards the last semester of my senior year of college, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. We had some issues, but I attributed it to being in Tuscaloosa. Things would change when we got married and settled down. Right?

He had a substance abuse problem. I didn't realize he had been in rehab and had failed out of University before I met him. During our engagement, the alcohol and drug use were unable to deny. He went to rehab. All the while, the wedding was in the works. The day before my wedding, I told my mom and my best friend, "I don't think I should get married". My Mother's advice, pray about it. God will take care of it. Cue, "Here comes the bride".

I want to give plenty of credit for God getting me through the next several months when I was praying for safety as my husband drank to excess and insisted he drive us. And for God seeing me through studying for the Bar exam as my husband threw things at me from my closet floor. And for God for giving me the ability to leave him when I lost to ninety pounds due to the ulcers I had.

But I knew it was the right thing to do, even though I knew I would never be able to pursue my career, or feel safe in my marriage, I still felt so much shame.

I wasn't able to pray enough. I was a failure. I was a Christian, and God didn't want me to get divorced. I was going to be humiliated in front of my friends and church. I wasn't good enough for my husband to choose me over alcohol. I hadn't done enough begging or negotiating. Shame. Shame.

It was so hard to tell my parents about my divorce. I carried my shame with me into law school and was one of the only students who had been married (and divorced). Shame is an insidious companion. Sneaking around you causing the feeling of unworthiness.

Thirty four or five years later, I still see clients who are filled with shame. Sometimes for what they have done. Sometimes for feelings of failure. Sometimes for staying so long in a bad situation. Having been through my divorce filled with the same thoughts and feelings, I can relate to the people who feel that way. Divorce is much more common now. But it can be deeply ingrained in us, "Divorce is bad".

In my book, I describe tactics to help banish those feelings. I tell people to focus on all the wonderful things they have accomplished. I remind them not to let it them define them.

How has divorce impacted you? Have you experienced any of the things I describe?

Coming May 30th to Amazon! I've packed thirty years of advice into my book so it seems fitting,

What are some challenges you’ve faced in co-parenting arrangements regarding child custody?

Let us know in the comments below. ⬇️

Wishing all the mothers out there a Happy Mother’s Day! 🌷

Thank you for your review Bonnie. We're glad to hear that Leigh Daniel and her team, particularly Deborah Burch, provided you with supportive and efficient service during such a crucial time. ✨

Why should you settle your divorce through mediation?

If you meditate, you can fashion the agreement in a way that addresses your individual concerns and issues.
Learn more about this on our blog:
https://www.leighdaniellaw.com/blog/why-most-cases-settle-in-mediation/

Question Time!

What is the one piece of advice you wished you had received before going through a divorce?
Let us know in the comments below! ⬇️

Why is it advisable to enter a cohabitation agreement?

People in these relationships don’t have the same legal rights as those who are actually married.
We go over this in more detail on our blog:
https://www.leighdaniellaw.com/blog/cohabitation-agreements-in-alabama/

Amid the chaos, let's take a moment to breathe. April marks Stress Awareness Month—a reminder to prioritize self-care, destress, and find moments of calm amidst the storm. 💆‍♂️💙

Happy Easter from all of us at Leigh Daniel Law! 🐇🌷

Before you make the decision to embark on couples counseling make sure you are very clear about what outcomes you desire.

Read on to find out more: ⬇️
https://www.leighdaniellaw.com/blog/couples-counseling-before-filing-for-divorce/

Happy St. Patrick’s Day from Leigh Daniel Law. 🍀🌈

Thank you for the positive review, Samantha. ✨ We are glad we exceeded your expectations.

How can you find hidden assets in a divorce?

🔹 Financial discovery
🔹 Look at household expenses against the outgoings
🔹 Employment documents
🔹 Tax records
🔹 Forensic accounting
We go over this in more detail on our blog:
https://www.leighdaniellaw.com/blog/finding-hidden-assets-in-divorce/

What is a no-fault divorce? 💍

In a no-fault divorce, the party seeking a divorce does not have to prove that their spouse is at fault for the breakdown of the marriage. 💔
Find out more on our blog:
https://www.leighdaniellaw.com/blog/alabama-no-fault-divorce-state/

We want to hear from you! ✨What do you think is the most common age for divorce?

Let us know your thoughts in the comments below! 👇

Celebrating Valentine’s Day with the one who makes every day special. 💖🥰

We understand that going through a divorce can be trying and very complicated.

Read our blog to get a better understanding of divorce settlements.
https://www.leighdaniellaw.com/blog/complex-issues-in-divorce/