Recovering Roots Therapy, LLC

All upcoming .circle will get immediate access to tons of workshops on mental health for nutrition. Including one of our members favorites with psychiatrist . What we eat has a massive impact on how we regulate our emotions and how quickly we can bounce back from stress. Comment “WAITLIST” then check your DM to get access to this and every workshop we’ve hosted. Enrollment opens Sept 1st— and spaces do sell out

Read more: https://www.amazon.com/Clarity-Connection-Yung-Pueblo/dp/1524860484

Run into it.

Don’t run away from it.

It’s best if others go with you - I almost never recommend someone go alone.

But know this: to truly heal from anxiety, you have to head into the fire. Towards the things that set off your body’s alarms.

You have to be honest about the changes you need to make. The relationships you need to end or begin.

You will probably have to clean up your finances and reconsider your work.

And count on it being painful.

But on the other side of pain...

Is peace.

And you’ll be free.

You’re worth the adventure.

Head in.

Delony

A great technique for couples, friends, siblings, and colleagues! What do you think?

And for you too.

Ready, go!

Delony

Your children need you.

Show up.

Delony

What do you need to change?

So often we stay stuck in generational messes because we don’t believe we are worth anything more.

We often remain frozen because of the paralyzing thought: “This is just the way it is.”

Or we have identities around what we can or cannot do or accomplish.

Or we have deep and searing traumas and we believe the nonsense that tells us a we can never rise again.

We are allowed so much more.

What do you need to change? Post it below.

Delony

Great reminder by !

There is no growth without discomfort.

Stop avoiding.
Stop ignoring.
Stop running.

And start stepping into opportunities to grow and to heal.

Discomfort is not the enemy.
In fact, it is often a great friend.

Delony

Okay, a number of layers here. It’s important that the feedback is coming from a loving and caring person in your life. When that person reflects something back to you, it’s an invitation to step towards your growth and your healing. Their tone matters. How they share the feedback matters. Their timing matters.But let me be clear here — this isn’t easy to make space for. Whew. Feedback EQUALS there’s something wrong with you//you’ve done something wrong//you’re bad — for so many of us. So when that hand goes up to say “hey, can I share something with you?!” we put that armor on and get ready for battle. “That’s not true.” “You’re wrong.” “Do you see what YOU do.” Defenses-Deflections-And beyond.Layers. You grew up in a family system that was super critical. You’ve been in relationships where the other person made you the problem constantly. You’ve had to prove your worth and value through performance. You experienced conditional love. The list goes on.Again, this isn’t easy to make space for, but we can practice and strengthen the muscle that’s needed in order to keep ourselves intact when someone gives us feedback. I can’t stress how important this muscle is needed. When you can begin to exist in this space together, your curiosity and openness can ignite intimacy, repair, and healing. What makes this hard for you? And what can you imagine happening if you can make space for it?

You can’t change people or change their behaviors, but you can change your response to them and how you move on with your life.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments 👇

Oooff so hard but so true. What do you think? Let me know in the comments!

Do you love them or their potential? It’s a hard question, and you may not love the answer. But when you are honest with yourself you open up the opportunity to develop better and healthier relationships.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments!

Just show up.

Your presence means more than you know.

Delony

What you focus on the most and what you think about the most actually grows to become physical structures in your brain. So if you focus on worry, you build worry into your brain.

Instead, when you find yourself worrying try this: set a time (maybe 2-5mins) where you allow yourself to just worry and think all the thoughts. Then, once the time is done and you thought about all the worst case scenarios, set the same amount of time to think about all the best case scenarios. You can even write out some thoughts, or talk them out loud to someone. This quick exercise will help you get everything out so it doesn’t build up, and help you see that the worst case is not the only case.

What helps you with worry? Let me know in the comments 👇

“When a prisoner violates the rules of their jail, they are sent to isolation. The hole. After a judge and jury have removed a person’s freedoms and locked him or her away, there is still one more punishment that can be dished out.

They pull him or her from the presence of other prisoners and make them spend time alone. Completely alone.

Some psychological researchers consider isolation a form of torture.

And now this is all of us. We’re doing this to ourselves.”

From my book, Building a Non-Anxious Life. Grab your copy here: https://ter.li/h300lh

Love y’all,
Delony

“Silence can be a lie too”

Conflict deferred is conflict amplified.

Be honest and speak your needs out loud.

Delony

If there’s anything I’ve learned from being in intimate relationships, it’s that they’re the gift that keeps on giving. Relationships ask us to look internally over and over again. They ask us to face parts of ourselves that come to light while in relationships. The parts of ourselves that become more exposed in relational dynamics. We often forget about that unspoken agreement — or sometimes don’t even realize that there is one. But there is…

No matter the intimate relationship, it will ask you to see yourself over and over again. It will ask you to face parts of yourself you’ve previously denied, rejected, or successfully avoided. That’s both the beauty and the challenge of being in relationships. They ask you to expand and they ask you to expand. lol. Thank you and UGH, again?!?
So light you remember this? Might you explore where the offering is currently? Might you notice where you’re being asked to look and whether you’re willing or resistant.

Let’s go make it happen.

Love y’all,
Delony

Resentment is a beast that can hang around for decades if we’re not careful. You just manage the time away. You just pretend the time away. You just harbor the time away. For some it gives a reason to stay disconnected, for others it supports the narrative that you’re never seen or cared for. Resentment just chips away, piece by piece, bit by bit doing intense damage to the unit and individuals a part of it. If you have resentment in your relationship do you have any thoughts around how it got there? How it’s stayed there? What has kept you (or them) from doing much about it?

From age can come a ton of wisdom.

But older doesn’t mean you’re necessarily wiser.

Wisdom comes from self reflection. Self reflection comes when we’re out of autopilot. When we see the bigger picture. When we learn from our relationships and behavior.

And of course: when we regularly get out of our comfort zone.

Sometimes you’ll see someone very young and think “that’s an old soul.” What you’re seeing is their ability to self reflect and their sensitivity. They’re awake.

Other times you might see someone older that’s quite stuck in their ways. Who refuses to see any other perspective. Who is stubborn and unable to see the role they play in their own lives. They’re sleep waking through life.

From age can come a ton of wisdom.

But older doesn’t mean you’re necessarily wiser.

Wisdom comes from self reflection. Self reflection comes when we’re out of autopilot. When we see the bigger picture. When we learn from our relationships and behavior.

And of course: when we regularly get out of our comfort zone.

Sometimes you’ll see someone very young and think “that’s an old soul.” What you’re seeing is their ability to self reflect and their sensitivity. They’re awake.

Other times you might see someone older that’s quite stuck in their ways. Who refuses to see any other perspective. Who is stubborn and unable to see the role they play in their own lives. They’re sleep waking through life.

Wisdom is not the result of age, it’s the result of being true curious student of life

Coming in hot on a Wednesday. These questions are not for the faint of heart. Brave, courageous, relational questions, my friends. But here’s the thing, feedback requires us (REQUIRES US) to be able to hold ourselves up and receive. Feedback is often an invitation for shame, guilt, embarrassment, defensiveness, etc to enter in. You have to punt that out of your sight. You must hold yourself in regard. You must have compassion and grace for yourself. Not excuse making, but human making. When we ask these questions we’re asking for feedback. Tell me how you really feel. Tell me what it’s been like to be with me. Tell me what I’ve been missing…in you…and in me. Tell me so I can face it and confront it. Not so I can shame myself or go into a space of self-protection. I know this is not easy. And even if you’re not quite ready to ask the questions out loud, notice what the sensations in your body are communicating to you? What are they revealing? Notice your reactivity to these questions and what information it offers to you? What are you protecting yourself from by not asking? Do you know the answers already? Be gentle with yourself here.

Getting angry and yelling doesn’t actually solve anything especially when it’s directed at your little one.

Yes, you will be triggered by your child.
Yes, you will get angry.
Yes, your child will make lots of mistakes.

But when you get angry and yell because they’ve made a mistake, you’re showing your child that you are out of control. You’re showing your child behavior that you wouldn’t want to see in them especially if they begin to yell back at you.

Yes, your child will make mistakes, in fact the same ones and often.
Yes, you will have to repeat yourself again and again.
Yes, your patience will be stretched.

But here’s what I’d like to suggest. I want you to consider a new perspective.

Start with this - think about how impossible it will be for your child to learn while under distress because you are angry and yelling. This will only make your child anxious and nervous and cause them to make more mistakes because now they are stressed and most likely afraid of you. And when fear and stress come into play, it’s when most children will want to hide what they perceive made you angry and they might even begin to tell lies. Not because they want to lie, but because they are afraid.

Every time your child makes a mistake, they will anticipate your anger and yelling. They will take that to mean that something is wrong with them and eventually they will come to believe that they deserve how you are treating them. It will become a cycle that they will have to break free from in their adult years.

Mistakes are a part of life, that’s how we learn. Mistakes are necessary for growth. Mistakes should be welcomed instead of perfection that we tend to so quickly embrace.

When parenting, we can work to develop a new perspective about the mistakes our child will make all through childhood. This new perspective can include seeing our child’s mistakes as an opportunity to gain patience, to be in control of our words and actions, to forgive and especially, to model the behavior that we want to see in them.

After all, when you get angry and yell, you are not being the teacher, the gentle guiding person that your child needs.

Children are people too.

Is it just me, or do children always seem to be held to a higher standard than everyone else?

Think about it:

We yell at them when they can’t fall asleep and “bother us” with their frustration,
expect them to always remember their manners,
and when they’re having a grumpy day, we punish them, even after they apologize.

Can you imagine being punished because you woke up feeling “blah” and snapped at those closest to you?

Because if you're like me, you do that more often than you'd like to admit
and your apologies are met with empathy.

But children? They’re still punished, or “they’ll never learn.”

But children are people too.

They’re little humans who are learning,
and deserve respect.

If we want them to grow into confident, kind, grace-giving adults who know their worth, we need to stop,

shaming them for age-appropriate behaviors like tantrums and being impulsive,

minimizing their feelings,

punishing them for being human,

treating them unkindly,

and expecting perfection when we’re mistake-ridden, too.

Children are people too.

THEY’RE HUMAN.

So, let’s love and cherish them for the flawed people they are.

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