Classic Audio Repair Inc.

PLEASE DON'T SEND US A "VOICE MAIL"~~meaning that you SPEAK into the mic on your laptop or mobile, and an AI translates your message into recorded text. The AI that does this has a very low IQ. We get messages like this:

"Eye have thorns. Oneida n**e cartilage or need ill."

INSTEAD, SEND US A TEXT OR EMAIL, SO THAT THE RE****ED AI CAN'T INTERFERE (the re****ed AI would record "interfere" as "inner fear.")

REMINDER ABOUT OUR NEW BUSINESS HOURS and ONGOING POLICIES~~

[1] We're open to the public Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 10:00 a.m. until 5:30 p.m. Please contact us to make an appointment: 619-292-8642 call or text.

We also accept walk-ins, if you're willing to wait.

[2] We're open Saturday by special appointment. Please contact us for details about this.

[3] Tuesday and Thursday we focus on repairing gear. Unscheduled interruptions make fixing complex problems difficult to impossible.

[4] Self-repairs: If you pulled off the cover plate to have a look, that's one thing. If you engaged in further disassembly to replace parts or make adjustments, we will assess a $50 surcharge.

[5] No customer-supplied parts without our prior authorization.

[6] We do not honor extended service agreements.

[7] Repair authorizations must be in writing.

I THINK WHAT UPSETS ME MOST ABOUT CUSTOMERS . . . are the ones who storm into the store like tsunamis on steroids . . . and issue matching orders as to how to fix their gear . . . yet they're clueless as to how vintage gear fails. They don't understand how rubber parts grow hard or soft and gooey, how electrolytic capacitors lose their ability to hold a charge, how transistors lose their gain and leak current, how plastic parts warp and crack, how lubricants change into bubble gum, how switches and controls oxidize internally, how alignments drift, how vacuum tubes experience the weariness of old age, and how it's harmful to old machines to let then sit unused.

I had a customer on Friday who wanted to be in the driver's seat in every imaginable way. He could't stop telling me how to do my job. It was like telling a skydiver that all you have to do is flap your arms. You don't need a parachute.

Finally, I just walked away, and let my assistant deal with his unbridled arrogance.

Repairs from August 13 to September 20th

WE'VE HAD A TERRIBLE PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE WHO'VE TRIED TO FIX THEIR GEAR THEMSELVES~~

Without listing all the messes created by self-repair, I will say that self-repair tends to waste a lot of our time.

Here are new rules for self-repair sets.

[1] Often, right out of the gate, we'll simply say, "No, we're going to have to pass on this one," as I did this afternoon (15th) to a guy who'd ordered a replacement power transformer for his fuse-blowing SL-1200-series DJ turntable based on inconclusive evidence, following his invasion of the electronics.

[2] Self-repair sets will ALL be taken in on a diagnostic service, in most cases for our standard $100 fee. But that's not all.

[3] We will assess a $50 self-repair charge on top of the $100. You say you didn't majorly disassemble--and yet you did. You say you didn't do any soldering--and yet you did, and it was atrocious. You say you didn't lose any small parts--and yet you did. You say you put back all the screws taken out during disassembly, and yet three are missing---and you have long screws in the short holes and short screws in the long holes.

[4] Finally, we have a monster named Grunglebop that lives in the dungeon beneath the store. It likes to devour self-repair customers. So, be forewarned.

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We're SOOO tired of this. So, when your set malfunctions, don't do self-repair. Bring it to us!

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BEGINNING SEPT 23, NEW BUSINESS HOURS:

Monday, Wednesday, Friday
10am to 5:30pm

Saturdays by special appointment.

We do business mainly by appointment, however we will accept you as a walk-in if you're willing to wait.

Send a message to learn more

Send a message to learn more

This week's repairs

Dunning-Kruger Effect~~

Nearly every day at the store I run into walking, talking, bombastic evidence that the Dunning-Kruger Effect is rampant in the audio realm. It’s not easy dealing with Ignorance on steroids.

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July 26th repairs. Had to be posted separately due to a repeated load failure.

Repairs from July 16 to the 25th

This week's repairs. Short due to the independence day holiday.

NOTICE:

We will be closed for July 4th through the 7th.

We will reopen Monday, the 8th.

Happy Independence day!

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CLASSIC AUDIO REPAIR INC IS HIRING~~

We are looking for a skilled technician familiar with servicing vintage audio equipment.

Candidates should possess:

1. An understanding of electronics theory and can read schematics.

2. An understanding of transistor theory for both bi-polar and FET devices and designs.

3. An understanding of vacuum tube theory and proper operation of tubes in different circuits they are in.

4. Mechanical knowledge and be able to disassemble, service, clean and relubricate a veriety of small mechanisms found in turntables, tape decks, 8 tracks, and reel to reels.

5. An understanding of how loudspeakers work and how to rebuild them.

Applicants may call to schedule an interview anytime during normal business hours. A degree is a plus, but is not required. The demonstration of your skillset will determine pay to start.

Call or text us. 619-292-8642

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This week's repairs.

I do not know why audio repair draws crazies . . . but it does.

I will call a recent crazy CHRIS, since that name (like Pat) implies both genders. Chris brought in a CD player that was making some kind of “scraping” noise. We found that the platter (the disc sits on the platter when its playing) had been forced out of alignment by heavy-handed use--we adjusted this into correct alignment and provided routine cleaning services. We contacted Chris to let them know that the set was ready for pickup.

But Chris couldn’t pay for our work. Chris wanted to MAIL us $20 to $30 over a period of one to three months, contingent on the availability of cash. Reluctantly we agreed to this, though Chris had given us ZERO advance notice that they needed to "make a series of payments" and would show up with the final install when they physically came for the set.

Chris was also emphatic that they lived in North San Diego County, so driving to the store was incredibly difficult.

So, two months out, and after a couple of appointment reschedules, when Chris finally showed up with the final payment and to pick up the CD player, we demoed the set---and it worked normally. We got Chris's signature on the invoice that the set was working well.

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But soon after arriving home with the CD player, Chris phoned and angrily said it was doing the same thing they'd brought it in for. We had done nothing to fix Chris’s set (even though Chris had listened to the CD player at the time of pickup--and had put their approval in writing.)

We were informed that we’d cheated Chris. We were incompetent. We learned that we were bad people. And the worst was that deplorable villain Fred Longworth.

Then ensued a series of appointments made and rescheduled to bring the set back in. On about the third shot . . . Chris made an appointment and kept it.

(When a set is returned under checkered circumstances, we take the set back in on a “no-charge evaluation”.)

I came out to the lobby while an employee was writing up the work order, and Chris immediately began making vicious personal insults toward me. Clearly, the only reason I was born many decades ago was to abuse and mistreat Chris.

Chris wanted to scream. Chris wanted to yell. Chris wanted to jump up and down and wave their arms. Chris was a little bundle of hate.

Chris was obviously aiming for a fight. I told Chris I wasn’t going to play their game, and I walked into another room. Now that the victim had left, Chris seethed with absolute fury.

After my employee finished writing up the paperwork, Chris proceeded to read it with infinite slowness, and wouldn’t sign it. This took half and hour. This was a “f**k you!” Chris was doing this so lure me back into the customer area so that Chris could try to ruin my day.

This was also hard evidence that something was dreadfully wrong with Chris's brain.

At the half-hour point, my employee made it very clear that we wouldn’t take the set in for diagnosis (or repair) unless the paperwork was signed. (By now, I was prepared to call the La Mesa police, if Chris refused to sign the paperwork and leave.)

At this point, Chris left the store and stood on the sidewalk, stopping other customers on the way in to let them know that I was a terrible human being--the kind of monster who would kill and eat small children from third-world countries.

I did not walk outside to do battle. I was too busy devouring a small child from a third-world country. Yum!

Chris was so nutty that our other customers weren’t buying into the invectives.

I was super glad when Chris left our parking lot. By the way, Chris drove the kind of car that you wouldn’t own if you could only pay over many weeks in small bundles.

POSTSCRIPT ~~ The failure in this customer’s machine is one that is usually induced by rough handling of the equipment. We usually make an effort to coach customers on proper handling of their gear, but many customers do not listen to our advice because we’re low-class, blue-collar workmen and they don’t listen to people of low caste.

We think Chris was overly rough with their CD player, and in the interests of social justice should be swallowed by a boa constrictor. Also, out of respect for diversity and inclusion, it could be a python or anaconda.

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The next customer came today without an appointment, and did not care that she was crowding in front of a customer who did have an appointment. “I’m a diva. I get special treatment."

Since appointments have absolute priority, I was not pleased.

She kept pressuring me to leave her set without writing up a formal work order. I informed her that it is ILLEGAL for a repair service such as mine to take in equipment without writing up a work order.

She would have none of this. We were world-class as****es for not letting her just “drop off” her set. She made it totally clear that she wanted to do business with someone who would do everything her way, even if her way violated the law.

She stormed off

Good riddance.

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Last week's repairs!