Tobias F. Cabral, PsyD: Serenity Psychology Services

This is on the Short List of the wisest things I've ever heard during my span on this Marble.

James Darren as Vic Fontaine - Star Trek DS9 s07e10 "It's Only a Paper Moon" #startrek #startrekds9

You are ALL better than you fear, and worse than you hope.

So, let's get on with what we CAN do!!

You are ALL better than you fear....and worse than you hope.

So, let's get ON with what we're able to do!!

So, I know this is targeted to therapists (quite a few bits from my own toolbox in there).

But it also doesn't suck when it comes to parents trying to pierce the "I Don't Know" response from their teens.

And the accent is just delish!

Therapy With Teens: "I Don't Know" : Counseling Skills and Techniques You Need To Know There's a free worksheet to accompany this at https://www.mypeoplepatterns.com/idontknowCounseling teenagers can be difficult when traditional talk therapy m...

Whenever I do Zoom calls, virtual sessions, etc., I make it a point to bounce my eye-line against the camera.

In my books I have tele-presence algos that enable eye-tracking, along with displays that comprise transmitters and receptors along their entire volume (Like Orwell did with his "Telecreens," back in the day).

I just find it a mite off-putting when even the most engrossed interlocutors seem to be speaking to my chin...

Paradoxically, I expect some folks might find my "eye contact" off-putting (which is why I always make it explicit with my clients).

I see it as trading moments for moments, evolutionarily [eye contact] / deliberately [looking at a camera], in the interests of empathic verisimilitude.

I just want everyone to have the adventures for which they long.

And, 'failing' that, to have the adventures which reveal their truest selves.

And that they'll make their BEST choices therefrom!

So many of my clients seek partners and don't find them....then comes a time when they're focusing on themselves, NOT seeking, and suddenly they have SEVERAL painful options.

Life's like that, I reckon!

BE someone who would attract someone to whom you would BE attracted!

The rest kinda tends to take care of itself.

You never know....

Cmdr Lovell: saved by the algae Tom Hanks, as Apollo 13 commander Jim Lovell, relates his Korean War experience in an F-2H Banshee where he was bingo fuel, thinking about ditching in the Se...

Think of the mind as a gigantic dark warehouse...where consciousness (what we're aware of, now) is a teeny-tiny control room, equipped with very bright but narrow spotlights.

You're *never* gonna See It All (thank the gods!).

But if you let go, allow yourself to trust the forklift-folks in the darkness, the useful bits will find their way into the focus of your spots!

Takes a light touch on the controls, but that can be learned!

There are those who will see any smallish bit of success in another as an Affront, as a sign that some slice of a finite pie of Mojo has been Taken from them.

There are those who will celebrate it, since positivity sends ripples to all shores.

Cultivate the company of the latter!

Just now, outside my office.

Someone asked for advice for singles.

My response:

"Be who you are, meet PEOPLE, *not* "Prospective Mates."

Leave your ego at the door, and close the door behind you.

Remember that EVERYONE has insecurities (you don't have a monopoly on them).

Have *FUN!*

(Awkward Silences are occasions for shared comedy!)"

Once, a while ago, one of my clients--a young fellow on the Spectrum--told me I communicate unusually well.

I have held this honor close to my heart ever since!

Grief is Weird.

It can be like thermite, burning us deeper than even the densest of bones could endure.

But it can be like fresh-baked bread, conjuring memories so sweet, no present experience could compete.

It is what we are, because there is always loss.

It is what we've been, because the past is ALWAYS gone.

It is what we hope, because "What is grief, if not love persevering?"

Grief is Love and Loss and Memory.

It is a fundamental Reality of being.

And, if we vector it JUST right, it propels us--like a gravity-assist slingshot maneuver--DEEPER into Life.

DEEPER into Love.

Absence implies the PRESENCE that perceives it.

And it is that PRESENCE which is the essence that preserves what's been lost, and what PERSISTS.

Change is Scary/Weird!

Its absence is Sad.

We evolve.

We adapt.

Or we die.

(Well, we do the latter anyway....so, WTF?)

At the risk of repetitio, Mood:

(Kinda perpetual, so no surprises)

Arcade Fire with Owen Pallett - Song on the Beach; Photograph Her Original Motion Picture ScoreComposed by William Butler (aka Arcade Fire) and Owen PallettTracks:Song on the BeachPhotograph

'Tis what 'tis....

Whatever's Awesome about you, you go on and REVEL in it!
Seriously!

And if it makes anyone ELSE'S Mojo sing, then you go on and take the Bonus Points for that thing!

Life's too short and haunted by Hoodoos to do otherwise!
So RISE!

(and lend your breath to others' flight!)

Life is inevitably a combo of construction and constraint.

Regardless of your mood (construction), the coffee table in the dark room (constraint) will *reliably* damage your calm.

But...the next time you stub your toe, CONSCIOUSLY relax every muscle.

Pain will fade (unless of course, you've actually fractured something!).

Seems holding on to pain, when there's no unrecoverable damage, makes it last longer.

Sucks, dunnit?

(Analogy to mood/consciousness/vibe is obvious, I trust..)

Feelings are indispensable data for choices.

We must NEVER discount them!

But they are not the ONLY data we must consider.

They can mislead us.

But so can "reason."

Feelings are the soundtrack, reason the screenplay.

It'd be a pretty poor movie without BOTH!

Trust invariably involves the danger of betrayal.

One MIGHT say the rational choice is never to trust.

But that's a trap.

"Risk is our business."

"No courage without fear."

Quotes aside, we reap the benefits of trustworthiness ONLY by risking deceit.

https://youtu.be/0Yo9CNdXn_Y

Advice on trust and betrayal Riker helps Data with being used and learning to trust again.

I just had the MOST Lovely conversation with a rep from Sprint/T-Mobile.

Need to upgrade my phone, and I entered into the conversation with no small trepidation.

Unanticipated positive interactions can SO brighten a day in peculiarly satisfying ways!

Find your Power-Ups wherever the universe presents them!

Tobias F. Cabral, PsyD: Serenity Psychology Services updated their business hours.

Sooth!

Take heed!

Things that come out of my mouth during sessions (Shared with consent):

(Re: Love in a Time of COVID)

"Yeah, I'm in a long-distance relationship."

(Where does she live?)

"Across town."

Things that come out of my mouth during sessions (cleared to share):

"It's fair to question the 'Obvious.' That's how we discover the unexpected."

Kind of figured this would come up eventually.

There are many good points in this article. Introverts recharge in solitude (which doesn't mean they don't like company); Extroverts recharge in company (which doesn't mean they don't like solitude).

The Venn diagrams *can* overlap nicely...but they're not identical.

Knowing your temperament/style gives you the chance to brief others on it, so that introverts don't leave extroverts feeling abandoned, and extroverts don't leave introverts feeling Flooded.

It's important to find ways of telling people: "I just need some recharge time," if you need a break...or else "Hey, I'm getting itchy without some company: who's around?"

These have *always* been useful skills! But now more than ever, while we do our socializing through a succession of digital keyholes, it's become still MORE so, as non-verbal social cues become scarce.

If nothing else, we may all come out of this at least slightly better communicators!

Lockdown was supposed to be an introvert’s paradise. It’s not. This was supposed to be the moment for introverts—the disaster preppers of our new, covid-ravaged social lives. Those who cherished their time alone at home were already experts at voluntary self-isolation. Once, backing out of happy hour at a bar to read a book made you a bad friend. Now it’s p...

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Time for self-examination and self-improvement.

One more way to take it and use it!

Nikon is offering free online photography classes for all of April All 10 photography classes in the Nikon School are free until April 30th.