Lori M. Downing, LMFT Psychotherapy and Counseling Services

Misunderstandings are powerful—they can break a beautiful relationship in just a second, if you let them.

I hope, instead, you will choose to check in, clarify, and give a little grace.

When we are in reactive or defensive mode we have a difficult time taking in new information. Instead of seeing multiple ways of looking at things we only see one.

Often our defensiveness occurs when we feel unjustly accused, attacked, criticized or when we take things personally that have nothing to do with us. Sometimes this is due to our own deep seated insecurities and has nothing to do with the other person. In order to protect ourselves we erect a protective wall that can’t be penetrated. And we close ourselves off. We can’t listen, we don’t listen.

Listen with an open heart—-it is the ultimate spiritual act—-it is the greatest gift you can give…according to Lerner.

It all starts with listening…so Listen Well!

Boundaries

Setting Boundaries to Create Safety: Healing an Emotionally Abusive Relationship If emotional abuse is in your relationship, setting boundaries is crucial. If you think your safety's at stake, learn how to effectively set boundaries.

Intentionality in parenting means making a purposeful decision to spend time connecting with your kids.

https://bit.ly/3WOOWbg

Respond vs react: 5 tips to slow down (and why it's important) — Calm Blog Explore the differences between reacting and responding and why it's important. Plus, 5 tips to help you learn how to slow down and respond versus quickly react.

Listen, Pause, Respond instead of react…wisdom passed down from the scriptures.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19 NIV

This scripture is pure GOLD!!! When we are tried, may we come forth as fine GOLD that shines brightly and warmly for all to see and feel.

Our Model and Our Example. Keep your eyes fixed on Him and follow Him.

What a Little Happiness Can Do for Your Mind More control of your mental abilities, no matter your age.

For those needing a little encouragement and peace

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. Philippians 4:6-7

As the song from Frozen says, let it go, let it go…

How to deal with your EGO. Hint: loving and gently.

Sometimes we just have to sit with it for a while and trust.

My wish for you today….

Choose to build with them!

Self-compassion is key to a happy and fulfilling life. Here are five practical ways to be kind to yourself:

Ask yourself what you need: Acknowledge that your needs are valid.

Validate your pain: Recognize and accept your emotional experience.

Remember you aren't alone: We all struggle; you're not isolated in your challenges.

Honor your humanity: Being human means being imperfect.

Treat yourself like you would treat a friend: Be supportive and helpful toward yourself.

Which of these practices resonates with you today? 💖 Share your thoughts below!

Who, what and where YOU CAN. That’s all. It’s quite simple. Just do that!

Just Do It! No excuses! No Regrets, please!

From www.thehiyl.com

Root Causes of Why You Might Struggle with People Pleasing.

People pleasing is when you prioritize other peoples desires or preferences over your own, but at the same time there is usually an unconscious need within you driving your behavior.

People pleasing can make it difficult, even overwhelming to manage your own wants and needs, while at the same time considering what you PERCEIVE everyone else’s wants and needs to be. Other peoples needs often over shadow your own wants and needs to the point that you lose touch with your own.

If you recognize yourself here, know there is hope! You can change habits and behaviors. The first step is awareness.

Think about that. There is more to come. More people to surround you with love and light over your lifetime. Something to look forward to and something to give back. Completing the circle of love.

Does this sound like you? Parentification occurs when a child is forced into the role of caregiver for their parent, emotionally and practically. If so, continue reading.

10 Common Traits of Parentified Daughters When children are forced to act in adult roles, due to family circumstances or dysfunctional roles, it can greatly affect their ability to have healthy adult relationships.

Stop ruminating over your regrets! What you should have, would have, could have done differently and instead BE EMPOWERED BY YOUR REGRETS. STOP playing & replaying the old tape in your head AND DO THIS….examine and make new choices. Learn from your mistakes. Then forgive yourself and exercise self-compassion. Ruminating will only make things worse, it doesn’t solve anything.

Our past is not fixed. Healing is possible. Growth and change are possible.

People with very little empathy and compassion usually had these 8 experiences growing up As someone who is highly empathetic, when I encounter someone who seems to lack empathy and compassion, I think “How is it possible?” However, by researching the causes of lack of empathy, I’ve learned that these people are seldom choosing not to show compassion. Instead, their low empathy oft...

People with very little empathy and compassion usually had these 8 experiences growing up As someone who is highly empathetic, when I encounter someone who seems to lack empathy and compassion, I think “How is it possible?” However, by researching the causes of lack of empathy, I’ve learned that these people are seldom choosing not to show compassion. Instead, their low empathy oft...