End of Life Doula, Misty

Hospice History:
Today (June 11, 1974) 50 years ago, Florence Wald, and a group of nurses, doctors and clergy opened the first US hospice 50 years ago hospice was opened in Branford, Connecticut.

Anderson Cooper reflects on his personal struggle with unexpected grief, sorting through family memories and advocating for breaking the silence around loss. https://cbsn.ws/3TTAL4W

Of course the very first place I visit in Mexico is a former hospice. 💜

Concise explanation of the work I and so many others are doing for those nearing the end of their lives.

What an End-of-Life Doula Can Do for You Death doulas, also known as end-of-life doulas, are becoming more and more popular for the services they offer during the dying process. Here’s how death doulas differ from and work with hospice care to ensure a person’s experience with dying is positive.

Excellent article.

Three conversations to have about end-of-life care How and where Americans die has drastically changed over time. Until the 20th century sudden death was the most common way to die, and home the most common place. After being superseded by hospitals for decades, home has reemerged as the most common place for Americans dying of natural causes.

What is Advanced Care Planning or Advance Directives?
Advance directive is a general term for any document that contains instructions pertaining to a person’s wishes related to medical treatment if they can not make care decisions on their own.

What are included in Advance Directives?
There are several types of advance directives, including (but not limited to) living wills, health care powers of attorney, do-not-resuscitate (DNR) orders and physician orders for life-saving treatment.

What are Advance Directives important?
Advance directives are essential for patient autonomy. They empower a person to have their wishes honored in the event that they’re no longer able to speak for themselves.
What’s more, the use of advance directives is linked to higher utilization rates of palliative care (health care for people living with a serious illness), reduced stress toward end of life, improved communication between health care teams and patients’ families, and reduced health care costs.

Who should complete Advance Directives?
Everyone over 18 should have an advance directive to increase the likelihood you will get the care you want. It is particularly important to consider or reconsider your directives if you:
* Have been diagnosed with a terminal illness;
* Have been diagnosed with an illness or condition that could lead to incapacity;
* Are entering into assisted living facility or nursing home;
* Have been admitted to the hospital and are over 65.

How can I help?
When I start working with a client, I make sure they have completed, reviewed and understand their Advance Care Directives.

If you are considering completing your own directives and need guidance or looking to open up discussion with a loved one about completing there own directives, please let me know. I have tools and resources available to assist you.

Meet the adorable Chicken, the volunteer therapy dog who is providing comfort and companionship to hospice patients and their families. What a remarkable little dog with an amazing backstory! 🧡

Hospice therapy dog bringing comfort, hope to NYC families A dynamic duo is making a difference for dozens of hospice patients and their families across New York City. Chicken the dog has captured the hearts of families in their toughest moments.

An end of life doula is a great resource for anyone who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness and/or at the end stages of life. This includes anyone who is facing a life-threatening illness or in hospice care. People who are interested in death pre-planning may also seek my services for educational purposes.

“All that we know about those we have loved and lost is that they would wish us to remember them with a more intensified realization of their reality. What is essential does not die but clarifies. The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude.”

― Thornton Wilder

Social scientist believe we are all hard-wired with a driving force to leave behind a legacy. That legacy can come in many forms. A beautiful option is a legacy letter.

Sometimes referred to as an “ethical will,” a legacy letter is often a written document used to pass along personal memories, family stories, core values or life lessons with loved ones and future generations. The “letter” can take on many forms; a handwritten letter, book, audio recording or video. The writer can create one or multiple letters which can be shared with loved ones before or after death.

In addition to creating this meaningful legacy, it also provides an opportunity to express gratitude, request forgiveness or make amends. Legacy letters are a wonderful gift for loved ones and the writer. At its essence, legacy letters are a gift of love.

As an end of life doula, legacy projects, including legacy letters, are a valuable service I provide to my clients. Other examples of these projects include scrapbooks, photo collages, forming a scholarship or charitable fund, writing a memoir, documenting family history, art projects and any creative idea that feels relevant. Memorializing a person’s life helps loved ones reconnect with loved one in a meaningful way after their death.

Developing a mantra with my clients is something I have found to be profoundly beneficial not only for the dying but also for the caregivers and family.

This is a simple saying, I created with a client based on her strong desire to die at home in her own bed (not a hospital bed). When she was overtaken with anxiety and unable to speak, we would recite this to her and remind her to breathe deeply. It was a simple tool we utilized repeatedly to provide comfort as she made her final transition.

And so much more. Please reach out if you have any questions about how I serve as a doula.

When someone you love is dying, it can be incredibly difficult to know exactly what to say. It can feel awkward and uncomfortable. You may worry you’ll say the wrong thing or upsetting them. These are all normal and appropriate feelings.

During the final stages of dying, be aware that every “goodbye” could be the last. Don’t hold off on your “goodbye.” End each conversation with a goodbye you won’t regret later. Remind your loved one how much you care for them and how important they are to you. It need not be overly sentimental but make your goodbye meaningful.

Additionally, don’t forget to show your love through physical affection and touch. By holding their hand, hugging and kissing them or simply placing your hand on them, you are communicating that you are there for them.
Remember, the very best thing you can offer someone you love at the end of their life is your time and attention.

End of Life Doula, Misty updated their business hours.

When someone you love is grieving don’t allow your own fears about saying or doing the wrong thing stop you from reaching out. Remember, this time is not about your own experiences with grief. Stay in the present moment and hold space for the person to grieve in the way they choose. One of the best things you can offer is to simply be available to listen. Additionally, offering practical support can be very helpful - delivering a meal, picking up groceries, offering to watch children or pets. Continue to maintain support in the weeks, month and year after the funeral. Grief is seldom subsides at the funeral. Remember everyone grieves differently and each timeline of grief is different.

Hello and welcome. My name is Misty. I am a trained End of Life Doula serving New York City and the surrounding communities.

I was drawn to this work because I deeply believe the end of our lives is just as sacred as the beginning. I aim to empower my clients about their end of life choices and educate them to lessen the anxiety and fear surrounding death. Throughout, I strive to be an informed, calming and compassionate presence. I am here to assist with your questions and help navigate the path forward.