Michael Picucci Holistic Psychologist Private Practice

True gentleness in healing has a warrior like quality to it. A gentle warrior — but a warrior nonetheless.

Our practitioners in Focalizing have to often educate our clients around the benefits of taking a gentle approach. And we have to learn to embody this ourselves for this to feel safe and available to our clients.

When we do this we are steering our clients away from two things that can get in the way of sustainable healing.

1. The desire to ‘heal fast’

This is when we, as practitioners, see clients seeking cathartic experiences or even looking at the practitioner as the 'one with all the answers'.

‘The slow way is the fast way’ is a phrase Michael often used and it describes much of the atmospheric feel of a Focalizing session.

This slow and gentle atmosphere is often the opposite energy of the velocity of the traumatic event that a client may be working with.

This velocity is often what fuels the desire to fix quick and to go against that desire takes a gentle determination from within both the practitioner and the client.

A radical act of gentleness.

2. The toxic wellness messages of ‘fixing’

It is hard to look anywhere in the wellness industry without seeing marketing messages heavily geared towards fixing.

Sure, many of your clients may want or desire to have more conscious relationships, easeful lives etc but the idea of fixing simply adds more shame and goes against one of the core conditions in Focalizing – no blame, no shame.

To go against this message of fixing takes a compassionate and curious practice — and a practitioner with a gentler approach to healing that doesn’t see healing as fixing the individual.

Core to Focalizing is that the practitioner is a human meeting another human with the belief that the individual’s innate inner wisdom can be brought forward in order to heal.

Another radical act of gentleness in healing.

Thanks for reading. If you're a therapist, coach, wellness practitioner or bodyworker, there's an opportunity to get trained in Focalizing practices in the new year. The Focalizing Practitioner program is a 10-week certification course in using trauma informed embodiment tools to help clients get unstuck, heal unprocessed trauma, and connect with life in a more purposeful manner. Starts in February and more information can be found here: https://www.theinstitute.org/the-practitioner-course
- The Focalizing Institute Team

For wellness practitioners, therapists and coaches of all walks, burnout is quickly becoming one of the most common challenges clients arrive with.

Even if recovering from burnout isn't the primary goal of a person's healing process, it's often lurking around it.

Deep states of burnout can feel like the joy has been sucked out of life. It can feel like not having the energy for any of the things we used to love. It can make us socially reclusive, losing contact with friends or family. And it can sometimes be mistaken for depression or anxiety.

From a somatic perspective, burnout is nervous system dysregulation caused by chronic stress.

It is an imbalance whereby our output has far surpassed our inputs. We are giving away much more than we are taking in.

**A Focalizing Informed Way of Addressing Burnout**

When Focalizing Practitioners work with trauma, we start by understanding a person's level of resource. Does this person have the capacity to even be with the parts of them that are dysregulated, emotional or overwhelmed?

If not, it's time to focus on building up resources. The same is true for burnout.

**Step #1 - Examine Your Resources**

What are you presently using to rest and recover? Are they truly allowing you to recharge? Next time you engage with them, bring some curiosity in. At the end of watching a TV show, calling up a friend, or scrolling on your phone ask yourself, was that stress reducing, stress neutral or stress increasing? What's your nervous system telling you? Reduce what isn't helping you regulate wherever possible.


**Step #2 - Consider Bringing In New Resources**

Because burnout is a form of nervous system dysregulation, some of the most helpful resources are going to be ones that bring your body into experiences of safety, playfulness and presence.

If burnout is causing high activation (buzziness, anxiety, racing thoughts, trouble sleeping), look for down-regulating resources:

Examples: baths, yoga, massage, acupuncture, Reiki, creating art.

If burnout has you collapsed (joyless, no energy, no passion) look for up-regulating resources:

Examples: singing/chanting, intuitive movement and dance, light exercise, Qigong, cold plunges/showers.

Healing often looks like running a series of experiments and seeing what fits. In Focalizing for burnout recovery, we're looking for the resources that help bring more regulation to the nervous system.

What allows you to feel more yourself? What allows you to enjoy the present moment? What helps you have the energy to be social again? These are signs you're on the right track.

**Step #3 - Engage In Self Inquiry Around What Got You Here**

It is also helpful to take some time with a journal, a therapist or a coach to examine what got you here. For many, burnout is the end of a long road that started with feeling a deep sense of unworthiness.

In this instance, hard work becomes a strategy to attempt to overcome feeling unworthy. In essence, giving us a way to try to 'earn our place' in the world as if we didn't have one already.

This inquiry process deserves plenty of gentle compassion as it goes right to the core of our earliest experiences in the world. And at the same time, it sets us up to make better decisions when faced with the prospect of over extending ourselves in the future.

**One Last Thing: An Often Overlooked Opportunity For Resource...**

One of our favorite resources is utilizing our sense of smell as a playground for re-regulating our nervous system. For many, certain scents are enormously resourcing. A flower essence, a candle, an incense, or a favorite soap can all ground us in our senses and recalibrate our system.

This is important because deep states of burnout are essentially dissociative states. We dissociate from our senses and the world around us. Mindfully engaging with pleasant smells can be a shortcut to re-association, reconnecting with the present moment.

You likely know the saying to "stop and smell the roses" as a metaphor for appreciating life. There's a reciprocal effect to this that we witness in our nervous systems. Stopping to smell the roses also sends a signal back to our system that we're safe enough to be playful, connect with our surroundings, appreciate a moment free of hyper vigilance.

Next time you're feeling dysregulated and disconnected, consider a conscious pause to take in a resourceful scent. Notice what it does to your state and let it guide you back to yourself.

Thanks for reading. If you're a therapist, coach, wellness practitioner or bodyworker, there's an opportunity to get trained in Focalizing practices in the new year. The Focalizing Practitioner program is a 10-week certification course in using trauma informed embodiment tools to help clients get unstuck, heal unprocessed trauma, and connect with life in a more purposeful manner. Starts in February and more information can be found here: https://www.theinstitute.org/the-practitioner-course

- The Focalizing Institute Team

Good Morning,

Today we are excited to share that in the coming weeks this page will be posthumously sharing content from Dr. Michael Picucci and the non-profit he co-founded.

Dr. Picucci co-created Focalizing, a body-focused trauma healing modality which built upon his work with Authentic Process Healing and Somatic Experiencing. He went on to co-found The Focalizing Institute 501(c)(3) (theinstitute.org) which has trained Focalizing practitioners working in 12+ countries.

This page will continue to promote his legacy, his unique healing process, and share upcoming opportunities to learn Focalizing for yourself.

Please join us in celebrating this next chapter ♥️

- The Focalizing Institute 501(c)(3)

Today we’re writing to announce that Dr. Picucci’s non-profit, the Focalizing Institute, and trainer Nick Werber, are presenting a practitioner training starting in early 2021.

This is a 10 week certification course designed to teach students how to integrate Focalizing as both a self-healing practice and as a modality that can be facilitated for others.

Focalizing is the healing modality Dr. Picucci coined and co-developed along with several members of the Authentic Process Healing Institute many decades ago. It is a powerful modality that supports participants to develop a new relationship to their body; tapping into an innate wisdom that lives within it.

This holistic, body-based practice has helped hundreds of people struggling with the effects of trauma, addiction, sexual barriers, and more. Dr. Picucci’s no-shame, no-blame approach remains a breath of fresh air in a world where shaming and blaming has run rampant.

This program is designed for individuals seeking self healing, therapists, coaches and others currently working in helping fields. And is great for those who want to integrate new practices that are effective both online and in-person.

If you’re interested in learning more about Focalizing and this certification program, please visit the program page here: http://www.nicknwerber.com/focalizing-training-course

Here's an update regarding Dr. Picucci's memorial along with his obituary which was published in the NYTimes this past Sunday. Read on for more information.

Dr. Michael Picucci's memorial will be held at The New York Open center on Sunday January 13th from 3-5pm. Location and directions can be found on The Open Center's website located here: www.opencenter.org.

----- Michael's Obituary -----
PICUCCI-Dr. Michael. Passed away peacefully at his home in Samsonville, NY on November 26, 2018. Michael was a pioneer in addiction, recovery and trauma resolution, especially in the LGBT community. He died of a cardiac event at 73 years of age following a long history of heart disease, said Dr. Elias Guerrero, his life partner of 26 years.

Born in Astoria NY, on September 25, 1945, Michael was raised in Bethpage and Amityville, NY. After a successful career in advertising and after recovering from a near fatal bout with AIDS-related Burkitt's lymphoma in 1983, he changed his life's direction and studied to become a counselor, eventually earning his Ph.D. from The Union Institute in Ohio.

An innovative psychologist and leading voice in his field for well over 35 years, Michael gained early recognition for his research in addiction and recovery, and as a trauma therapist trained in Somatic Experiencing. He was a co-founder of the LGBT Center ("The Center") in New York City and developed " Focalizing," a syncretic process influenced by his life's work and experience, in 1990 cofounding the Institute for Authentic Process Therapy, now the Focalizing Institute.

Dr. Picucci authored a seminal work on Stage Two Recovery, "The Journey to Complete Recovery" (North Atlantic) in 1996. He maintained a private practice for over 30 years and led workshops and retreats throughout the Northeast.

Dr. Picucci's clients, students, mentors, and friends cherished his enduring qualities of humility, humanity and a generosity of spirit. A memorial is planned for Sunday, January 13, 2019, at a location to be determined. Please check back at michaelpicucci.com for updates. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to two projects very close his heart: a gofundme campaign for one of his student's scholarship fund(www.gofundme.com/mindfulness-in-sports-for-kids) and the Focalizing Institute (www.theinstitute.org).

This obituary along with a guest book can be found on the NYTimes legacy site located here: https://www.legacy.com/obituaries/nytimes/obituary.aspx?n=michael-picucci&pid=191065038

My name is Nick Werber, the project director of the Focalizing Institute and a colleague of Dr. Michael Picucci. I'm posting on his behalf.

I regret to inform you that Michael Picucci passed away on Sunday, November 25, 2018 after a long-time battle with a series of health challenges which included heart disease and the effects of four complex surgeries in the past three years. He was 73 years old.

Michael passed quietly in his home with his life partner of 26-years, Elias J. Guerro, MD at his side.

Following his wishes, there will be a memorial service in January 2019 at a location to be determined in the West Village. If you desire to speak with someone or have questions, you may reach out to me directly at [email protected].

If you are a client and are looking for therapy options, please contact me at the same email address and I can help direct you to the appropriate resources recommended by Michael.

In lieu of flowers, Elias and the Focalizing Institute are asking people to make donations to two worthwhile projects that were near and dear to Michael's heart:

First is Sam Faeder's 'Mindfulness In Sports For Kids' research fund (https://www.gofundme.com/mindfulness-in-sports-for-kids). Sam has been a brilliant student of Michael's for numerous years. His tenure as the director of a popular youth sports program in NYC inspired him to complete Ph.D. research on how mindfulness and complementary technologies like Focalizing support the social and emotional development of children. This is a worthy project for anyone who is interested in supporting the vibrancy of young lives.

Another beautiful tribute to Michael would be a donation to the Focalizing Institute in his honor. The Focalizing Institute is the non-profit Michael co-founded in 2000 and has existed for nearly two decades training therapists, teachers, and coaches in the Focalizing healing process. A donation to the Institute not only honors Michael's legacy, it enables the Institute to continue to train others in the life-changing approach Michael helped pioneer. Link: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=CKG6WHE3HR8ZG&source=url

Thank you,

~~~Online Therapy makes the cut.
Since 2003 I have witnessed how convenience, a deeper privacy, and a healing circle can be and is achieved doing virtual therapy.

As a Holistic Somatic online psychologist; my emphasis is 'Transcending Talk Therapy.' As the author of Focalizing, I utilize Skype, Facetime, and/or Zoom teleconferencing technology.

In-Person sessions are available near Woodstock, Ulster Cty, New York; also for retreats or training, PM me. Looking forward to meeting you. Check me out on Yelp.

Testimonials of Online Therapy: https://tinyurl.com/y89bc6xd

Online Therapy with Dr. Michael Picucci Dr. Michael Picucci's clients share their experiences with online therapy. Clients shown are from around the US and across the globe. To contact Dr. Picucci ...

Announcing the early bird special for the upcoming weekend healing retreat and training on Focalizing!

If you register for this program before September 7th, you'll receive $100 off the total program cost: https://www.theinstitute.org/foundations-of-focalizing

Join a group of healers, therapists and individuals seeking personal growth who will sit in circle and learn how to apply Focalizing to themselves and others for life affirming healing benefits.

At this retreat, you'll learn why Focalizing is a lifeline for those who have struggled to find relief doing years or even decades of traditional therapy.

By the close, you'll leave refreshed and empowered to use the foundations of this healing modality as a self-healing approach or means of supporting those around you.

Part of what makes this retreat so special is the location. This all takes place at the historic and absolutely stunning Garrison Institute just 50 miles north of New York City.

To learn more about the program, schedule a free Focalizing demo to try it first, and to register for the retreat, follow this link: https://www.theinstitute.org/foundations-of-focalizing

Announcing a new blog post about the challenges couples face if they choose to stay together and rebuild after an affair is discovered.

When a couple decides to do the work of healing and fostering trust again, redeveloping intimacy is critical to the longevity of the partnership.

However, it's also one of the toughest challenges they will face...

Click the link to learn more about healing after an affair and how zero-intimacy is not an option if the relationship is to survive in the long term.

https://www.michaelpicucci.com/blog/2018/8/14/how-intimacy-develops-after-an-affair-for-couples-who-choose-to-stay-together

How Intimacy Develops After an Affair For Couples Who Choose To Stay Together For couples who choose to stay together after an affair, one of the most challenging aspects of the healing process is figuring out how intimacy develops again.

The intention of this program is to enable you to facilitate the core elements of Focalizing for yourself and others. You'll learn why Focalizing is a lifeline for people who have struggled to find relief around issues of trauma, anxiety, depression, intimacy issues and more. And along the way, you'll develop your ability to integrate this healing technology into existing practices that you may already be doing on your own or with others.

We're so excited to be able to be hosting this event at the incredible Garrison Institute in the heart of the Hudson Valley. And as part of registration, all meals and lodging is included.

This program will not only give you a new tool for your toolbox, but a transformative personal journey that will leave you renewed and energized by the end. We hope you join us!

For more information and to learn how to register, please visit: https://www.theinstitute.org/foundations-of-focalizing

PS: We are offering free 40-minute demo Focalizing sessions for anyone who is considering the program. This way, you can receive a first-hand experience with the healing approach before you register. A blue drop-down appears at the link above that will show you how to alert us that you're interested.

Nick Werber finds the best bits to share.
This one revolutionized my life at just the right time.

Whatever you’re feeling has a right to be. It belongs.
So much of Family Constellation healing work revolves around the simple understanding that every member of a family inherently belongs. And the moment this is violated like when a family member is ostracized or otherwise shunned, it creates a rift in the family. What’s surprising is that this rift actually continues to affect future generations in a variety of ways.

I’ve written about this idea in context of family and ancestry many times but here’s what I haven’t shared with you: The energy of a family system moves identically to the energy of your emotional and physiological systems.

What that means is that when we ostracize or otherwise resist a feeling we deem unworthy, it sticks around and continues affecting us. Allowing for feelings and giving them permission to be as they are (just like people), is what allows them to move towards existing in a healthier harmony.

Applying this to our emotions is counterintuitive to most of us, but it’s actually a major key to creating healing movements in our lives.

If you are struggling with a tough feeling, mental health issue like anxiety or depression, or even a physical challenge, try this and see if it starts a shift in your body and mind:

Close your eyes and connect with how your body feels.

Locate where in your body you feel the emotion or issue most.

Bring your awareness to that location in your body and learn a little more about the shape, texture or movement of it in your body.

Then say this to the feeling, either aloud or in your mind: “I honor your right to be here, you belong”

Then take a minute to honor it and give it permission to be. You can honor the feeling by watching it and giving it space with no agenda to change it, just like you would a child. Then just watch what happens.

This all comes back to that clever rhyme “what we resist, persists”

Give your feelings full permission to be, then watch how they change.

Telemental Health:

A new choice for clients to heal with an award winning psychologist: Convenient, globally-private, and holistically-oriented producing tangible results. This process also has unique healing affects with our 'homebound' (for whatever reason) brothers and sisters. You are not alone.

[email protected]

Online Therapy with Dr. Michael Picucci Dr. Michael Picucci's clients share their experiences with online therapy. Clients shown are from around the US and across the globe. To contact Dr. Picucci ...

One of my colleagues, Nick Werber, is returning to Brooklyn to host a powerful workshop on healing the inner blocks and barriers that prevent people from creating better relationships to work and money. Click the link below to sign up or read on for more information. If you're thinking of signing up, do so sooner rather than later because this sold out last time it was held:

https://www.maharose.com/collections/workshops/products/saturday-july-28th-work-money-the-soul-a-family-constellation-workshop

The focus of this workshop is to create a change in your life by helping you unearth the root causes of patterns you have with work and money. When you witness the core of why you're engaged in repeating patterns of not making or saving money, switching jobs regularly or finding yourself in toxic work environments, you're enabled to create profound change that seeps into your daily life.

So what's behind your current work patterns? What sits at the root? It can be many things. But one of the often overlooked pieces of the puzzle that plays a large role is where you come from. In a sense, your family of origin was the first 'organization' you were ever part of. And you carry that template into your experiences with clients, bosses, and coworkers.

This template is not a life sentence. But if it's not consciously seen and worked with, it can leave you feeling defeated and unable to be the person you want to be. For Nick, it all goes back to this Carl Jung quote:

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."

Click the link to learn more and join Nick for a process of exploring your inner world in a way you may never have experienced. The group will work together to help you leave with a clearer understanding of how you can align yourself with your goals around your job and your connection to money.

https://www.maharose.com/collections/workshops/products/saturday-july-28th-work-money-the-soul-a-family-constellation-workshop

Back by popular demand, Nick Werber will be facilitating a longer version of his workshop "Work Money & The Soul" this month!

The response to these workshops has been so positive that he's been asked to return to facilitate this powerful healing experience for a larger group on July 28th. Link to register: https://www.maharose.com/collections/workshops/products/saturday-july-28th-work-money-the-soul-a-family-constellation-workshop

More about the workshop:
The intention of this workshop is to help you see and experience how your family of origin creates an inner template for how you move through the world as an adult. It affects so many parts of your life and one of the often overlooked ways it plays out is in your relationships to work and money.

For all people, how our family acted as role models, used money, supported themselves and nurtured us is a starting point by which we form so much of our identity and understanding of the world. The issue becomes how can we be the person we if we want to be if it's different from where we come from?

Many people choose to reject their family on some level because they don't want to repeat what their parents did. The unfortunate thing is, rejection has a powerful effect of actually gluing us to our family on a deeper level.

We might reject our mother but then find ourselves dating them in another person. We reject our father but then we are working in a similar industry that doesn't respect us, or we take similar financial risks as he did. There's an infinite number of ways rejection ends up doing just the opposite of what we intended.

Through the experiential healing process of Family Constellations, the group will work together to create the space and perspective needed to step out of repetitive family patterns that are often generations in the making and help attendees connect to work and money in more healthy and rewarding ways.

Last time this workshop was held it sold out. To make sure you get a spot, register in advance using the following link: https://www.maharose.com/collections/workshops/products/saturday-july-28th-work-money-the-soul-a-family-constellation-workshop

We have a new Independence Day upon us:

Let's grab it and live to it's upmost...'letting the future guide us instead of the past.'

u.lab: Leading From the Emerging Future An introduction to leading profound social, environmental and personal transformation.

What Independance Day means to me: Following our own inner compass, free at last!

I'm so proud, as are my friends at the Focalizing Institute, of our board member Sam Faeder. He was a founding member of 'The Millennial Energy Project' and out of this project sprouted a new board Leadership Circle of all folks under 35 years old, and they are amazingly effective. Bravo, Sam!

Rollo May Student Scholarship Award

Each year, Saybrook University awards Rollo May Student Scholarship Awards in the amount of $5,000, funded by the generosity of our donors. The scholarships are awarded to Saybrook students whose graduate work explicitly applies and carries forward the existential-humanistic contributions of Rollo May. Such students' work may include scholarship in the areas of personality theory, psychotherapy, art and literature, cultural criticism, existential encounters, or other topics which the student clearly connects to the Rollo May tradition.

Unhealed or unresolved trauma can deeply affect relationships and prevent them from growing. One of the ways this manifests is that one more people struggle to feel safe within the relationship.

Read my latest blog post to learn how to spot the signs that trauma is affecting your relationship and what you can do to heal.

https://www.michaelpicucci.com/blog/2018/6/29/how-trauma-affects-you-the-hidden-ways-it-weakens-your-ability-to-feel-safe-in-a-relationship

How Trauma Affects You & The Hidden Ways It Weakens Your Ability To Feel Safe In A Relationship Learn about how trauma affects you and hurts your ability to feels safe in a relationship. Trauma is at the root of so many of our challenges today. It’s affects can be particularly felt when significant others are bonding and the relationship is becoming more serious. Spot the signs and learn how...

Last month I sat down for a beautiful interview with Mavis Curry of In-Connexion. Here's the recording: https://youtu.be/z-5vW7j5Tq4

We discussed addiction, overcoming sexual barriers, tuning into body sensations to help heal all types of blockages and the power of the Focalizing process I helped co-create.

It serves as a great overview and introduction to the healing process I've been supporting with my clients for 30+ years. again: https://youtu.be/z-5vW7j5Tq4

Dr Michael Picucci's Interview with In-Connexion's Mavis Curry Dr. Michael Picucci, veteran psychotherapist, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Master Addictions counselor speaks with Mavis Curry about overcoming the ...

Last month I sat down for a beautiful interview with Mavis Curry of In-Connexion. Here's the recording: https://youtu.be/z-5vW7j5Tq4

We discussed addiction, overcoming sexual barriers, tuning into body sensations to help heal all types of blockages and the power of the Focalizing process I helped co-create.

It serves as a great overview and introduction to the healing process I've been supporting with my clients for 30+ years.

I'm excited to share my latest blog post about how addiction affects relationships and prevents couples from staying in love.

In this post, I share what addiction feels like in relationship and how it creates barriers to truly bonding with each other.

One of the common issues amongst people struggling with substance abuse is that they are unable to maintain loving relationships longer than a few months. Time after time the beginning of a relationship feels passionate and loving only to turn sour for no apparent reason.

It may seem that the other person has changed, but the truth is, this shift is caused by internal barriers that prevent love from growing past a certain point.

Over the course of my journey as a person in recovery and as a psychotherapist in private practice, I learned these issues are not specific addicts. However, they are especially pronounced in people who suffer from substance addiction.

Click to learn about addiction in relationship and how to start creating the loving relationship you want.

http://www.michaelpicucci.com/blog/2018/5/23/how-addiction-affects-relationships-and-prevents-couples-from-staying-in-love

How Addiction Affects Relationships & Prevents Couples From Staying In Love Here's a in-depth piece that shares the many ways addiction affects relationships and provides support to those looking to heal and find love again.

Announcing a new Systemic Constellations workshop being facilitated by one of The Focalizing Institute's board members!

In two weeks, Nick Werber will be facilitating a powerful healing workshop at the Maha Rose Center for Healing in Brooklyn NY.

The intention of this workshop is to support people who are dissatisfied with their work or their relationship to money.

Family and Systemic Constellations are deeply supportive and profound because they help you look at personal challenges from totally new perspectives. In effect, giving you the space to find new solutions that hadn't been considered.

Instead of brainstorming solutions or overcoming the issue through setting goals and applying sustained effort, this work strives to reveal the core aspects of your past and your sense where you feel you belong in order to see the deeper aspects of what drives you to be who you are today.

When you're able to witness the often unconscious ways your past and your sense of self connects to your present challenges with work and money, you have the opportunity to break unwanted patterns.

This workshop is for anyone who:
▶️Has a poor relationship with their boss or manager
▶️Is being mistreated or taken advantage of at work
▶️Feels unworthy of the job they want to have
▶️Wants to change how they spend or save money
▶️Feels that their relationship to their means of supporting themselves isn't working anymore

Here's the full program description and how to register: https://www.maharose.com/collections/workshops/products/wednesday-june-6th-work-money-the-soul-a-family-constellation-workshop

If you know someone who's experiencing barriers with their work or spending/saving money, consider sharing the workshop link with them.