Hetopa - HEaling from TOxic PAtterns Support Group

Why Early Trauma Causes Procrastination

This is what grief is.
A hole ripped through the very fabric of your being.
The hole eventually heals along the jagged edges that remain. It may even shrink in size.
But that hole will always be there.
A piece of you always missing.
For where there is deep grief, there was great love.
Don’t be ashamed of your grief.
Don’t judge it.
Don’t suppress it.
Don’t rush it.
Rather, acknowledge it.
Lean into it.
Listen to it.
Feel it.
Sit with it.
Sit with the pain. And remember the love.
This is where the healing will begin.

Credit goes to the respective owners.

You do not heal 'from' trauma.
You simply come to know yourself
as Life Itself.

And you turn towards the wounded place.
And you flush it with attention,
which is love.

And maybe the wound will always be with you.
Maybe you will always walk with the hurt.
But now, you hold it. It doesn't hold you.
You are the container, not the contained.

It doesn't control you any longer, the wound.
Because it is drenched in awareness now.
Drenched in You.
Loved by You.
Even celebrated by You.

You do not heal 'from' trauma.
You find healing 'in' the trauma.
You find yourself at trauma's sacred core.
The One who is always present.
The One who can bear
even the most intense feeling states.
And survive.
The Indestructible One.
The Infinite One.
The Powerful One.
You.

- Jeff Foster

The Journey
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.
~ Mary Oliver
Photo © SpiritualBlue

I think many people don't understand the difference....

The Difference Between PTSD and CPTSD - NewsBreak There is a lot of confusion around the terms, especially since both PTSD and CPTSD can have similar symptoms. CPTSD often results from prolonged trauma, PTSD...

ANCIENT WISDOM Teaches Us That LOVE DOESN'T HURT.
Love. Should. Not. Hurt. Period.

If you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship (mentally, emotionally, or physically) here's a QUICK CLICK LINK that can help you (and your children) find a happier life NOW:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

Since there are over 50 countries represented here at DOTS, the link above has multiple contact numbers, including an International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies.

Sonya Watson once wrote: "The sky cries for those filled with sadness.”

Dear Dancer: Within this Moment of Now, You Can Choose to Stop the Pain, Stop the Tears, and Begin Life Anew.

Please "Share" this post so that it can reach as many people as possible. You never know who might need this info or is aware of somebody who does.

GOOD LUCK and BRIGHT BLESSINGS ALWAYS,
Sandra Cline for DOTS

We are continuing to meet up either at Laura's house or mine. It's really going well for those of us doing this so if you are interested in coming to see what we are doing please message and either she or I will give you the address. Don't be shy. I can only tell you that it is so worth it to take 2 hours a week and spend them doing something that will help you feel so much better. I have done so much therapy over the years and I have never felt more positive about any of it than I do right now. I spent years searching for a group that could help me but my issue wasn't based on a problem centered on alcohol even though one of my parents was an alcoholic. The problem was how the other person was dealing with it (or not) and why they reacted the way they did. These things are passed down from parent/authority figure to child and it really makes you develop coping behaviors that help you when you are young or in a situation with a spouse who continues the kind of relationship you had with your parents/other but not when you are an adult and have control over your own life. We have been doing this group for a little over a year now and I can tell you from personal experience that I have grown so much through it! I have replaced the coping tools I learned when I was in the situation before with healthy ones and I am not feeling like I just can't go on any more like I was for so many years! I am amazed at the changes in me! And I am not special by any means. I know if others do what we are doing it will help them too! We can do more than survive, we can thrive! Give yourself that gift! Come see what we are doing!

How strange that we should feel compelled to hide our wounds

when all of us are wounded.

~Scott Peck

art | Aykut Aydoğdu

Allow yourself the time to just be.
It is there that you can hear the voice of your soul...
And you need to. It's the only voice that matters.

With love, Cheryl

I have seen that several new people have started following this group page. If you are interested in joining the group, we are currently meeting on Wednesday evenings from 6:30 to 8:30. We have been meeting in the private residences of either Laura or myself, both in North Adams. If you are interested in joining us please reach out in a private message and one of us will let you know where we will be. We only live about a mile apart and just off Union Street/Mohawk Trail. We would be happy to have you join us!

You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
Rumi

To me faith means not worrying
― John Dewey